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Topic : 08/08 Cheaters

Number of Replies: 912

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Created on : Friday, February 24, 2006, 11:27:05 am

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 03/01/06) What can you do if your spouse has a cheating heart? Rick’s wife, Kandice, cheated on him less than a year ago, and he suspects she's at it again. Is Rick just being paranoid, or is Kandice not telling the whole truth? Find out when Dr. Phil reveals what he caught on camera. Then, Arianna thought she had it all: a wonderful husband, two beautiful kids and a happy marriage ... until recently when the ugly truth came out in a shocking way. How did she find out about her husband's philandering? Can he learn to be faithful? Dr. Phil has strong words to set him straight. With a dark cloud of lies, deceit and infidelity hanging over a relationship, can you ever trust a cheater again? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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scared1980

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Scared

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March 1, 2006, 2:14 pm PST

scared

i had a affair on my husband i thought i did it because i was so alone but i wanted the thrill a couple months after i told my husband the truth we agreed to work it out almost a year later he has an affair on me with my best friend of 15 years i agreed that we would make it work i quit my job and let all my friends go after my affair but he still gets to keep his job and his friends her dad works at the same place and she goes there alot at this time he has no concern to get another job but swears its over with them i am scared that he cant let go of his job because he cant let go of her they have been friends all there lives but what gives him the right to keep his life the same when i let everything go to give are marriage 100% he has changed some but what am i suppose to do what am i suppose to think im scared im looseing the man i love

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rover44

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March 1, 2006, 2:15 pm PST

??

I'm not familiar with cheaters but I would guess they have low self-esteem and need lots of approval.This 3+ marriage never got out of the starting gate.Maybe the both of them should have

taken a marriage course.The one thing I liked was that the young man showed REMORSE.

It all depends what is wife wants,if she visions the future without him.I see some hope for them!!

Good Luck

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brookster

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March 1, 2006, 2:16 pm PST

03/01 Cheaters

I think that once a person cheats, they are always a cheater. If I ever found out that my husband cheated, I would divorce him in a new york minute!

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buddercup

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March 1, 2006, 2:17 pm PST

when kids are involved.

Ok you said you don't have kids. I use to say what you are saying no question about it if they cheat they are gone! Unitl I had kids. Your decision not only affects the rest of your life but your babies lives too. He may be a great dad otherwise and made a mistake. Unless you have kids you really can't give a opion on that matter.

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bella523

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March 1, 2006, 2:18 pm PST

03/01 Cheaters

Quote From: bblbbec

I am so blessed to be married for 22 years. My wife is my best freind and I can't imagine life without her. I pretty sure if you ask her she would say the same. I saw the show today 3-1-06 on cheaters and I am absolutley shocked at how peolple justify their actions to make it ok in their minds to do the things they do. I feel we get only 1 chance at true,life lasting love and what a crime to throw all of that away on having an affair. God sent me my wife Lori and I intend on hanging on to her till my dying days!!

Lori sounds like a very lucky woman! Keep up the good work!

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wherenow

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March 1, 2006, 2:21 pm PST

I just wish that cheaters......

Quote From: whatmind

completely agree with you and about them. i am coming out of a relationship of 14 years and i caught him butt naked with his woman in MY van. i am still trying to deal with all the feeling that have come to head from this did i think he was. yes. did i want to know. yes. i went and found out and it took me four days to get him to understand that i did not want him in our lives. there are children involved. but the worst thing about it was the drinking started the problem and then to drugs and then to the bar hopping and his woman. i feel so destroyed by his behavior. i just feel like i was used up and thrown away many things are not right but i kept trying to hold the family together but when they cheat they are just users and have no compassion for who or what they do to other around them. IT IS ALL ABOUT THEM. i just breath and pray everyday for some eye opening situation that will make me feel alive again.

Take consolation in knowing that you are not alone in this. As my previous message stated it has happened to me three times. The last was 4 years ago and I'm still reeling from the emotional toll it took on me. It gets easier just makes it harder to trust anyone. Take it one day at a time....... Cheaters don't take responsibility in cleaning up the messes that they make, they just move on with no consequences usually because it's all about their feelings, their wants, their needs....Blah, Blah, Blah, I've heard it too many times. Take care of yourself....

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peek_a_boo

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hopeful

March 1, 2006, 2:25 pm PST

we talked about it

I feel sad for the person who gets hurt in this kind a situation. It make me realise how lucky I am to have my boyfriend in my life and that our line of communication is always open for a talk. Couples should have some key discussions at the beginning of a relationship because it help to see what you will get yourself into or give you a chance to get out before it's too late. My boyfriend and I did talked about it in our beginning. I told him that I would not accept being cheated on. That I would leave on the spot. Cheating on someone, in my perspective, is a lack of respect. I tolk him that if things were not going well at one point, to tell me first. Tell me that you are starting to notice other woman and loosing interset in me. We can find a way to fix what we have been letting go. And if things does not work out, than we split. I would be heart broken but I would still have some dignity in me. I can accept that you are not interested in me but I cannot accept being disrespected. My boyfriend heard me loud and clear and agreed. And to this day he telles others (when the discussion is about it) That he would not cheat on me because he knows how I feel about it. He would talk to me first because I asked him to do so. And he beleaves in the respect of the other person.

Peek-a-boo See you later

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chattiecat

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hopeful

March 1, 2006, 2:25 pm PST

cheaters

Quote From: jude0115

My ex-husband - the one who had the affair - was here today blaming me for all the troubles in his life. Why is it that people are willing the play the game but when the time comes to accept responsibility the blame as to fall some where else. I must be naive because I believe that people have to accept responsibility for their actions.

first -why was your ex at your house - when my ex left me for the town bicycle (the one everyone takes a ride on ) I never saw or spoke to him again - nor do I plan to - next when you are a grown up for real - you take responsibility for what you do and reap the rewards or face the music - tell your ex to get lost - grow up and put on some big boy pants

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sejohnson4

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hopeful

March 1, 2006, 2:28 pm PST

not all are the same

Quote From: dreamer85

If they have cheated once, they will do it again, no matter what they say. They will say whatever it takes for you to forgive them, then they will be out doing it again within days or weeks! If your boyfriend/husband or girlfriend/wife cheats on you, get out of it now! I have been there, gone through it, just not married. I gave my ex chance after chance after chance time and time again! And now I am a single mom, taking care or our beautiful son, he is nowhere to be found! But I am better off without him as is my son. They are never sorry, they are just sorry that they got caught And the mother cheating on her husband with a 20 year old...what the hell was she thiking! OMG, putting her children through that, I wouldnt blame her husband to take the kids from her, she is acting like a twelve year old! Yea, I may only be 21, but I am more grown up then she is! I dont put my child through in of that BS, and I never would! Who in there right mind would do that to their children?!?! If she wants to run off and be a kid again, then she needs to leave her kids with her husband and GROW UP!

I know it's very easy to clump all those who have cheated into the same category, however, that's not the always the case. Speaking from experience, my husband and I both cheated on each other about three years ago, and it made our marriage stronger because we both realized we had lost sight of each other and sought out another person to try and make up for what was lacking in our marriage. But I believe that a relationship can only heal if the people understand what went wrong and where it went wrong and then take the necessary steps to repair the relationship. If we hadn't of stuck this out and worked on our relationship, we wouldn't have a beautiful little one-year-old daughter. I'm sorry for what you have been through, and just keep in mind that what comes around, goes around (in reference to your ex). Take care.

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momisme2

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Cheerful

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chillin'

March 1, 2006, 2:42 pm PST

My opinion

Quote From: sara418

I have a hypothetical question about cheating ... But of course it's based on a friend of mine's real situation! She had an emotional affair about 5 years into her marriage during an extremely difficult time in her life (for reasons that had nothing to do with her husband). She did not have sex with the other guy, but they did "make out" and she was heavily emotionally invested. Both were married to other people and the affair lasted about 6 months. It's been over 3 years since then and the woman now has 2 children with her husband. The situation is very much more stable and she says she would never cheat again, especially now that there are children involved. But she struggles with whether she should tell her husband. He does know that she was spending a lot of time with that guy. She was honest with him each time she was with the other guy and told her husband that the guy was just a very good listener. In some way, her husband probably does know or suspect that it crossed a line. But should she bring it up after all this time and come clean with him?

If her husband ever brings it up or asks her about it, she should be completley honest. If he doesent, she should learn from her mistakes and leave it alone.

I dont know if thats right or wrong. Its just what makes the most sense to me.

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