Topic : 03/02 Our Biggest Battle

Thank you for posting exactly what I was thinking. She resents him from not stopping her? HUH?  

Now I don't have to! ;-) 

I feel like even Dr. Phil was a little too biased for the mother's side in this one.  Wait, I'm still watching it, I take that back.  (: Sorry Doc! :) But I just want to say, when both parents insist on everyone picking up after themselves and keeping their own living space relatively clean - these problems don't exist.  When neither parent holds the kids to keeping their own living space clean - these problems don't exist.  When the parents start singing off the same sheet of music, then and only then can this family get comfortable.  

I'd say sit down together, him with the list of things he thinks the teens must do and her with a list of things she feels they mustn't have to do and go down the lists reaching compromises that work for everyone concerned.   

But mostly -- it's sure nice to see a family where no one is just being mean and petty.... everyone of them has pretty good intentions.   

What a relief and reassurance. :))  I wish I could give all four of you congratulatory hugs.   

Lollie  

Darcy, 

I really think your husband may have been harsh at times, but from what you shared about your children, they needed it. I couldn't believe your son cussed at your husband. I couldn't believe your daughter's room looked like Katrina went through it. They need to realize you won't be there to cushion their fall whenever they get out into the real world. Let's stop making excuses for bad behavior, and prepare them for what's real. You deserve to be happy. Your kids are going to go on with their lives, and you will want your husband to be there for you. Why have him resent you and your kids? All he wants is for them to act like young adults. Him being in the military doesn't matter. That's just what he uses for guidance to discipline kids that should already have home training. He came into their lives after they were "cooked". That's a hard thing to deal with. I also have a blended family, so I do know what you're going through. Had your current husband been there from day one, maybe they wouldn't have had the problems they had before he came into the picture. Enjoy your husband Darcy. Don't allow your kids to ruin your happiness, while you blame your husband for it. One thing your son said was that he didn't want to be responsible for you guys getting a divorce. I hope he meant it.
 

         I used to be a video game widow. My husband and I got into numerous fights because he was always playing these online games and sometimes not coming to bed at all. I felt neglected. I decided one day to just stop screaming since it was not working anyway and now I play the games with him and he makes sure now that he does something that I like also. I used to fume about this but realized that at least he wasn't chatting online with other women like my ex used to, or downloading porn, or staying out late and hanging out with the guys at clubs or bars like some husbands do. Please try and see if there can ba a compromise. Try and explain how irresponsible it is to neglect work or the children and explain how alienated you are feeling when he doesnt come to bed ....it's ashame that men act like it's no big deal when all we want is to just be respected and adknowledged and if they just grew up and prioritized there wouldnt have to be fighting. I as a mom find it hard to divide my time but I DO IT....