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Topic : 06/23 "Stop Ruining Your Child!"

Number of Replies: 190
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, February 24, 2006, 11:30:09 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 03/03/06) Has anyone ever told you how to parent your child? Maybe you find it annoying ... or maybe you're afraid they're right. Pam says her sister, Diana, is making huge mistakes when it comes to parenting her 5-year-old daughter, Sydnie, who scratches, kicks, screams, and terrorizes everyone in the house. Pam says Diana's lack of discipline and desire to be the "fun mom" is ruining her niece, and she's tired of being the only one trying to control Sydnie. Then, Stephanie is concerned that her husband, Steve's, yelling, raging and threats are damaging their kids. They've even separated because he can't get his anger under control. Dr. Phil gets to the bottom of the problem and uncovers a tragic loss from Steve's past. Talk about the show here.

 

Find out what happened on the show.

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March 3, 2006, 9:26 am CST

Spoiled Brats

I see these lack of disciplined children all of the time in stores and restaurants.Recently, a restaurant owner in Chicago wanted to open a child-free restaurant and parents raised a big debate over it.  

  

I have two sons who are now teens. I use to nip it in the bud when they were tots. I did not want them to whine for every little thing. I could see if they were hurt or sick. This lady sets the example of something that drives me nuts! I cannot go to a restaurant or shopping without hearing some kid's ear-peircing shreik. I go to buffet style restaurants and parents turn them loose.  

  

In one of them I nearly tripped over a 2 yr old. I was carrying hot food. The Dad just sat there and did nothing. Moments later the wife and a girl about 8 or 9 yrs old came out of the washroom. Low and behold the older girl ran around the restaurant just like the 2 yr old and neither parent did anything. 

  

The problem with spoiled children is that they never learn that the world does not revolve around them. In other words, people cannot have their way all of the time.  

 
March 3, 2006, 10:16 am CST

i don't even know if i want to get into this.....

i honestly dont know if i want to even get into this because i know that i'm going to offend someone and then ill have to hear..read..whatever about it and i dont want to get myself all riled up....but, i have 2 toddlers, my oldest will be 3 in june my youngest 2 in april. I know they're young ut i wont deal with any obsessive amount of crap from them. If i ask then to please hlep clean up their mess...they WILL help clean up their mess... If i ask you to please stop doing something, you WILL stop doing it.  

  

i try my hardest to have patience with my children but sometimes when i am REALLY serious and they keep on acting up...they will recieve a spanking. When my oldest kept pushng my youngest down, into walls, into the chair....after 3 times of warnings and those little crappy time-outs..i told her ' i swear, if you push you're sister again, i WILL spank you' and she pushed her and i spanked her and I havent had that problem since...some new one will crop up i am sure. 

  

However, when they do as they are asked, i do praise them and they might get a treat, or if its nice ill take them to the park which is right next to the house. i am there often....sometimes even ill give them a little money at the store if they are behaved so they can pick someting out for themselves. See, they have a thing for M&M's.... 

  

About the girl flicking the rubber bands...she rightly deserved that. She's 10. She's not stupid. She knows better. One can only put up with so much of a child's crap..ESPECIALLY when you cant stop it nicely, your husband thinks you making it up and refuses to take responsibility for his own child. Surprise, here's a rubber band for ya. 

  

And the 12 year old boy who cant do anything for himself...Dang, my kids do waaaayyyy more than he does. When i was 12, my mom worked nights and my dad was lazy and if me and my 3 siblings wanted to eat.....someone was making something.....but them my mom knew better and we always had easy handy things to make. 

  

But now, i want an opinion...the other day my oldest daughter had a bug in her butt and was a weenie...it was time for lunch and i said 'Please pick up your toys and ill make you your lunch'. She refused. I told her i could wait.... 2 hours later, she finally gave up. Came over and told me she picked up her toys, which i knew she did because i watched her and her sister pick them all up. So i thanked her and her sister and told them that next time, they should pick up their toys when i ask them too. She of course when "*sigh* ok, mom' and they ate. The next day, i asked her the same and they picked them right up..... 

  

Now, i;m not starving my child or anything but she learned mighty quickly that she has to do as i asked to get what she wanted....she has a thing for peanut butter, ya know? 

  

  

  

 
March 3, 2006, 10:58 am CST

Kudo's To You

Quote From: caina0304

i honestly dont know if i want to even get into this because i know that i'm going to offend someone and then ill have to hear..read..whatever about it and i dont want to get myself all riled up....but, i have 2 toddlers, my oldest will be 3 in june my youngest 2 in april. I know they're young ut i wont deal with any obsessive amount of crap from them. If i ask then to please hlep clean up their mess...they WILL help clean up their mess... If i ask you to please stop doing something, you WILL stop doing it.  

  

i try my hardest to have patience with my children but sometimes when i am REALLY serious and they keep on acting up...they will recieve a spanking. When my oldest kept pushng my youngest down, into walls, into the chair....after 3 times of warnings and those little crappy time-outs..i told her ' i swear, if you push you're sister again, i WILL spank you' and she pushed her and i spanked her and I havent had that problem since...some new one will crop up i am sure. 

  

However, when they do as they are asked, i do praise them and they might get a treat, or if its nice ill take them to the park which is right next to the house. i am there often....sometimes even ill give them a little money at the store if they are behaved so they can pick someting out for themselves. See, they have a thing for M&M's.... 

  

About the girl flicking the rubber bands...she rightly deserved that. She's 10. She's not stupid. She knows better. One can only put up with so much of a child's crap..ESPECIALLY when you cant stop it nicely, your husband thinks you making it up and refuses to take responsibility for his own child. Surprise, here's a rubber band for ya. 

  

And the 12 year old boy who cant do anything for himself...Dang, my kids do waaaayyyy more than he does. When i was 12, my mom worked nights and my dad was lazy and if me and my 3 siblings wanted to eat.....someone was making something.....but them my mom knew better and we always had easy handy things to make. 

  

But now, i want an opinion...the other day my oldest daughter had a bug in her butt and was a weenie...it was time for lunch and i said 'Please pick up your toys and ill make you your lunch'. She refused. I told her i could wait.... 2 hours later, she finally gave up. Came over and told me she picked up her toys, which i knew she did because i watched her and her sister pick them all up. So i thanked her and her sister and told them that next time, they should pick up their toys when i ask them too. She of course when "*sigh* ok, mom' and they ate. The next day, i asked her the same and they picked them right up..... 

  

Now, i;m not starving my child or anything but she learned mighty quickly that she has to do as i asked to get what she wanted....she has a thing for peanut butter, ya know? 

  

  

  

Your little ones will go far in life.  To bad more parents don't teach there children that actions, good or bad, have consequences. 

Give them a hug and a kiss for 

  

Misty 

 
March 3, 2006, 11:08 am CST

I'm not a parent

I'm sure a lot of you will say that I can't say anything useful. But I used to be a social worker for the police department and a cop friend told me something interesting. He told me that so many good kids get in trouble--but he could always tell the kid who would continue to get in trouble. I said "how can you tell the difference?" He said it was easy. The kid whose  parents immediately took his side against the cops, who never believed that their lovely child could have done anything wrong, who bailed him out of trouble and who never made him suffer any consequences for his actions--that was the kid he would see over and over. Think about that.
 
March 3, 2006, 11:15 am CST

I agree

Quote From: caina0304

i honestly dont know if i want to even get into this because i know that i'm going to offend someone and then ill have to hear..read..whatever about it and i dont want to get myself all riled up....but, i have 2 toddlers, my oldest will be 3 in june my youngest 2 in april. I know they're young ut i wont deal with any obsessive amount of crap from them. If i ask then to please hlep clean up their mess...they WILL help clean up their mess... If i ask you to please stop doing something, you WILL stop doing it.  

  

i try my hardest to have patience with my children but sometimes when i am REALLY serious and they keep on acting up...they will recieve a spanking. When my oldest kept pushng my youngest down, into walls, into the chair....after 3 times of warnings and those little crappy time-outs..i told her ' i swear, if you push you're sister again, i WILL spank you' and she pushed her and i spanked her and I havent had that problem since...some new one will crop up i am sure. 

  

However, when they do as they are asked, i do praise them and they might get a treat, or if its nice ill take them to the park which is right next to the house. i am there often....sometimes even ill give them a little money at the store if they are behaved so they can pick someting out for themselves. See, they have a thing for M&M's.... 

  

About the girl flicking the rubber bands...she rightly deserved that. She's 10. She's not stupid. She knows better. One can only put up with so much of a child's crap..ESPECIALLY when you cant stop it nicely, your husband thinks you making it up and refuses to take responsibility for his own child. Surprise, here's a rubber band for ya. 

  

And the 12 year old boy who cant do anything for himself...Dang, my kids do waaaayyyy more than he does. When i was 12, my mom worked nights and my dad was lazy and if me and my 3 siblings wanted to eat.....someone was making something.....but them my mom knew better and we always had easy handy things to make. 

  

But now, i want an opinion...the other day my oldest daughter had a bug in her butt and was a weenie...it was time for lunch and i said 'Please pick up your toys and ill make you your lunch'. She refused. I told her i could wait.... 2 hours later, she finally gave up. Came over and told me she picked up her toys, which i knew she did because i watched her and her sister pick them all up. So i thanked her and her sister and told them that next time, they should pick up their toys when i ask them too. She of course when "*sigh* ok, mom' and they ate. The next day, i asked her the same and they picked them right up..... 

  

Now, i;m not starving my child or anything but she learned mighty quickly that she has to do as i asked to get what she wanted....she has a thing for peanut butter, ya know? 

  

  

  

I Have 2 children also 8 and 3 and find that if I'm not stern with them they walk all over me. I give them 3 chances to complete the task or a time limit and when the timer goes off it better be done or they have to face the consequences. My oldest is harder to manage because he throws fits and goes wild like this morning because he didn't want to get dressed for school, but now he's on restriction for a week. My husband came up with new punishment for when he lies to us. He makes him do 10 push ups or sit ups. I don't think it's mean because he has to learn that he can't lie EVER. 

Your kids will not starve if they miss a meal or have to wait to eat. 

  

 
March 3, 2006, 11:17 am CST

Abusive

Quote From: beanie4620

Steve should learn better technics for parenting but I also would like to know what mom is doing in all this.  I never saw her through all the taping of steve, helping him with the children.  All I saw was her arguing with him over how he treats the children.  Putting aside his emotional problem if Mom helped alittle more an they agreed together on discipline for the children Steve would be less stressed.  They both had children not steve who is feeding the baqby and getting the children ready and mom just stays in the room because she thinks she is being mean to the children.

It is unfortunate that Steve's behavior is tolerated.  It is clearly abusive.  During the taping of the show he kept looking at his wife, giving her a "look".  Maybe the mom is just as fearful of Steve's wrath as the children are. 

 
March 3, 2006, 11:18 am CST

Help

I want to move away from here a live on a farm in WV or near there. How do people start all over like that? Sorry this is off the subject. I just need some direction though.
 
March 3, 2006, 11:54 am CST

Discipline

Too many kids today have zero discipline. ZERO. The parents are clueless. Case in point: Restaurants.  Screaming kids, kids not sitting still, running around, and the parents sit there like it's perfectly normal. This is NOT normal. If you can't teach your kids to BEHAVE in  public places, then leave them home with a sitter or the other parent or grandparent.  Grocery stores too.  I don't get places like Costco or other warehouse store where the entire family has to go every week.  LEAVE THE KIDS HOME with dad/mom/grandma.  The store isn't the place to feed your kids, (i.e. hog every sample they hand out) .   

  

And what is it with kids calling other adults by their first names?  Where is the respect? When we were kids we addressed adults as Mr. or Mrs.  not 'Mary' or 'Joe'.  When we visited relatives or friends, we behaved.   

  

  

 
March 3, 2006, 12:11 pm CST

I was just wondering...

Did Dianne get permission from her daughter to be on the show today? I just turned it on and I am toally flabbergasted  already! I really do beieve that some people should be forced to take EXTENSIVE child rearing classes! Can you just imagine what people think when they see that kid coming?????? The DAD is a real enabler! He doesn't 'like' to punish her? Well.TOO BAD because nobody else likes it either! Gimmee a break!!!!!
 
March 3, 2006, 12:17 pm CST

from beanie

Quote From: beanie4620

Steve should learn better technics for parenting but I also would like to know what mom is doing in all this.  I never saw her through all the taping of steve, helping him with the children.  All I saw was her arguing with him over how he treats the children.  Putting aside his emotional problem if Mom helped alittle more an they agreed together on discipline for the children Steve would be less stressed.  They both had children not steve who is feeding the baqby and getting the children ready and mom just stays in the room because she thinks she is being mean to the children.
beanie i belive this mom say she does work did she not . if so well then dad is a stay at home dad so he has to learn how to deal with his  his kids while mom is at work and stop calling them names . and if he needs help and wants the help good for him then mom and dad can to this together
 
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