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Topic : 07/20 Love, Lies and the Law

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Created on : Friday, March 03, 2006, 12:40:45 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 03/06/06) You’ve heard it all before: “If I want it done right, I’ll have to do it myself.” Dr. Phil looks at control freaks, and how their behavior can destroy a marriage. Jim thinks his wife, Sinden, is the most controlling woman in America. They’ve recently separated because, he says, she picked out his clothes, told him what he could watch on TV and micromanaged his finances down to how much he could spend on a candy bar. But Sinden says there’s a darker side of Jim, a police officer of 20 years. She calls him a master manipulator who rules by intimidation. Find out why she says she fears for her life. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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ommiller

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March 6, 2006, 12:18 pm PST

I can agree with you and can I add

Quote From: supahwolfe

These kids are in trouble! Really, it doesn't matter if the wife is lying or the husband is lying. They are both clearly disturbed and their children are paying the price. I cannot believe either one of them has custody! These poor children need to be removed from both of their care.  I have no doubt that the husband is verbally abusive. (He admitted calling his wife hideous disgusting names in conversations with his 8 year old son.) Lord only knows what else. If the husband were such a great guy, why would he want to go back with a woman that beats his kids?  The wife is hitting her kids with a belt, a leather belt.  That makes me sick! I would like to beat this woman myself with a belt.  Maybe if she were on the receiving end she might feel differently about whipping her children.   

  

If these kids turn out to be successful adults it will be a miracle.  I feel that this show has responsibility to ensure that these kids are removed from this situation! I hope Dr.Phil tracks these people. They are completely mad! 

that if my husband were to EVER call me any of those names that he uses for his wife-- let me tell you he'd be awfully sorry. Yes the wife is spanking the children with a leather strap that HE MADE- did you all hear that part? Neither of these two are completely innocent in all this-- no she should not be spanking the kid with a leather strap to the point of bruising his butt. I beleive she is genuinely fearful for her own safety and her life and the safety of her children. He definitely came across as just what she was saying he is.  They both need help.  Do you think maybe the corporal punishment thing was actually Jim's idea and she agreed with him just to keep him happy and now he's using it against her? Why does he feel it necessary to monitor her every move since they are separated? Even if they were still living together he still doesn't have the right to stalk her the way he does.  I feel for the kids in this situation.  I think Dr. Phil is right when he says that the two adults should have absolutely no contact with each other for a period of time.  Have an intermediary transport the children for visitation.  If I was Sinden I would document each and every time he calls on the phone, comes by her place of employment etc.  If she's seriously afraid with just cause, she should absolutely enforce the PFA.  At all times. Oh I could probably ramble on and on here.
 
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dr_amanda
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March 6, 2006, 12:22 pm PST

2 controlling people or 1 ...?

well, to me it sounds like jim most definately has some controlling and hostile ways. twenty years being a cop... sometimes having a job like that takes quite a toll on people. often they bring their work home. unfortunately... i had a neighbor once who was a correctional officer for 26 years. he was  a very controlling and hostile man, at times. who really know though... what goes on behind closed doors. amanda...
 
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tsh370
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March 6, 2006, 12:28 pm PST

Been there

I know just how she feels.  She feels that she is backed into a corner.  He seems to be using his "power" by being a police officer to control her.  I have been in relationships like this before.  He seems to be manipulating the situation for his own objective.  I hope that Dr. Phil sees past his front.
 
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tsh370
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March 6, 2006, 12:28 pm PST

Been there

I know just how she feels.  She feels that she is backed into a corner.  He seems to be using his "power" by being a police officer to control her.  I have been in relationships like this before.  He seems to be manipulating the situation for his own objective.  I hope that Dr. Phil sees past his front.
 
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dr_amanda
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March 6, 2006, 12:31 pm PST

that's true

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I Agree! 

i never thought of it that way... atleast the husband was owning up to some things. i don't think that sinden was owning up to her role in the whole situation.
 
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plalpn
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March 6, 2006, 12:38 pm PST

Military Police

Former military police are controlling also. My daughter divorced one who used his tactics and techniques to build a case against her taking her children away from her. Two of the children are hers from a previous relationship he had adopted. The husband hired a private investigator to track my daughter, but used the kids in a controlling way, he knows the kids hate living with him as they are miserable, they are not allowed to go out to play, they are not allowed to use the phone, they are not allowed to give their mother the phone number. He lied to them telling that he would never take them away from their mom and I know that when they get older they will never forgive him.The dad had many girlfriends during this time but used a boyfriend of the mom to obtain custody. He tried to interfere in the military career of the boyfriend and so many things I could not even possibly write the all down. I fear every day for their safety and just wonder if this is the day he will blow his top and harm them. But the state of Virginia could care less. Each and every door that has been opened has been slammed in our faces. Everone is "terrilby sorry" for the dilemma, but this is the wrong department, agency etc.
 
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masondixon
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March 6, 2006, 12:38 pm PST

Agreement on kids

Quote From: supahwolfe

These kids are in trouble! Really, it doesn't matter if the wife is lying or the husband is lying. They are both clearly disturbed and their children are paying the price. I cannot believe either one of them has custody! These poor children need to be removed from both of their care.  I have no doubt that the husband is verbally abusive. (He admitted calling his wife hideous disgusting names in conversations with his 8 year old son.) Lord only knows what else. If the husband were such a great guy, why would he want to go back with a woman that beats his kids?  The wife is hitting her kids with a belt, a leather belt.  That makes me sick! I would like to beat this woman myself with a belt.  Maybe if she were on the receiving end she might feel differently about whipping her children.   

  

If these kids turn out to be successful adults it will be a miracle.  I feel that this show has responsibility to ensure that these kids are removed from this situation! I hope Dr.Phil tracks these people. They are completely mad! 

Hi,   Please read my earlier posting under "leather strap".  I agree with you.  I think the kids should be number one here, and they are both doing a crummy job with that.  When I was 17, I told my dad if he ever hit my 4-year-old brother, I would take him, we'd disappear, and he'd never see either of us again.  He never hit him and was a pretty good dad after that.  I think his biggest problems were between he and my mother, but, as in many other families, we often got the brunt of it instead of their really talking with one another.  This is my first time writing.   
 
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envirocat
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March 6, 2006, 12:38 pm PST

Police and their friends

I don't know if he is really using his job to mess with her, but I had a friend and her husband was a police officer and he did that to her and all his buddies did too.  She couldn't get anything done she couldn't get any help to protect herself from him, not city not state not county, until the butt head  rear ended her in his police car in front of traffic.  So finally there were so many witnesses he couldn't lie any more.  But he was terrorizing her she had a nerveous break down.  So don't think all police forces are honest.
 
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mandidm1
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March 6, 2006, 12:45 pm PST

Get real

I think Dr. Phil was out of line this time. The husband's manners and the elusive way he answered questions shows that the wife's concerns are legitimate.  The kids should come first, but he should also worry about wife.
 
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mammyz
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March 6, 2006, 12:45 pm PST

Poor woman can't win

This man is very slick and sick. He is fooling Dr. Phil, and he will never change. I have seen men like this, who manipulate everything and are so smooth about hiding the truth. They use the children to get to their own agendas. I think he even believes he is justified in his behavior and will severely damage these kids with his sick ways. The woman is not perfect, but her mistake of spanking over the recorder has been made into the whole reason he gets the kids! I am surprised that Dr. Phil does not see he has severe problems and will psycholgically damage these kids for the rest of their lives.
 
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