Topic : 07/20 Love, Lies and the Law

I am certainly not bitter, I just think there is some extreme cases of generalization going on in these message boards where it seems people mostly side for the "poor woman".............b/c they are women themselves. What i was reading was so biased against cops i was shocked.  I feel like Im pretty balanced b/t the two here in this situation. They are both very disturbing and tell lies and both seem to manipulate.  

I just feel that the cop thing doesnt and shouldnt be such a big part of this, b/c he isnt able to do the things he is doing b/c he is a cop, he or you or I could do the same things if we wanted to. 

Now, i did NOT get to see the show, so i dont know ALL the details yet.  

Ive seen such a different image of cops. Even when a cop does something wrong in his personal life, Ive seen accusations and lies made up against him so that it does also effect his job b/c there are many evil women out there that will do that just b/c they know it will get them in trouble with their job as well.  

I cannot believe how this show is going.  This dangerous man clearly has malignant narcissistic personality disorder.   A NPD wants to win at any cost.  They are able to con anyone into believing them.  The very first clue is how they ended up on the show in the first place.  Jim told Sinden that the Dr. Phil show came to him via a chat room, when the truth is that Jim wrote the show.  I strongly believe that in Jim's mind , if he can make Sinden look bad on national television (just like he's probably been day dreaming about for two years) then he ultimately wins.  If he would lie about how they ended up on the show, then he will lie about anything and everything.   

I saw absolutely no deception in Sinden at all.  I believe that she probably thinks she is in the Twilight Zone.  She told the shows producers that she was afraid that he would come on the show and snow everyone.  Why? Because she's witnessed him snow everyone so far, primarily his employer.  CPS didn't even interview Sinden...what a terrible injustice.   

Dr. Phil, if you get these two therapists and mediators...make sure they are the best and I challenge you to find him a doctor that specializes in NPD.  Jim, some of us see right through you.  Sinden, stay strong and continue to analyze what motivates Jim.  I would bet my last dollar that he doesn't want anything other than to win.  NPD's have no concept of compromise, even if it would benefit their children.  Sinden, you and your children are in my prayers. 

I live in a very Middle Class neighborhood. Everyone does well and a lot of people know each other because our kids go to school together. At the end of my block EVERY DAY I stare at a now vacant lot were once stood a house were a wonderful 10 year old boy and his mom and dad lived. The wife wanted to seperate due to problems in their marriage.  HE was a Police Officer. He was caught  lying and stealing from his job.  HE TOO decided "if I can't have her no one will."  In the MIDDLE of the NIGHT, the night before school began, he came home from work, shot his wife, shot his child, shot the dog, and SET FIRE TO THE HOUSE then shot himself.   HIS suicide note said, he couldn't handle his wife and child leaving him and  belonging  to anyone else!  

They are all DEAD.  When Sindra (sp) repeated those chilling words she was worried he thinks, "if I can't have you then no one will," I started to cry.  BELIEVE HER DR. PHIL.   BELIEVE HER.  

This guy has WORKED the system, it is HIS system, it is a BROTHERHOOD of Police Officers and you are missing it. Remember it is a BROTHERHOOD they will do ANYTHING to protect one another.  You are talking about Internal Affairs when you say "the police won't tolerate this behavior." That is true, they won't but he is keeping this problem in "HIS" inner circle of police friends. His friends are helping him harass and scare her.  A bad cop like that can do ANYTHING. 

That woman is in danger and so are her kids. He does love his children and his wife but he will NEVER, EVER let them belong to anyone else should they divorce. He is dangerous beyond words!   

The things the husband was stating made me feel as though i was listening to an old boy friend...  back and forth for 9years.  He wore a uniform as well.  Finally I figured out my children had to come first.  Unfortunately for his children,  he did not see this and still does not.   

back to he show...  I am certain she is no angel but also certain her husband plays a huge role in how she acts and reacts...  manipulators are masters at that.   

I am Sinda, 20 yrs later. My ex, a Costa Rican national, now a US citizen, controlled me so badly, I couldn't go to family reunions with one or all of my kids...he was so insecure he did not trust me to go to the supermarket! I suffered 2 broken noses by him, over the years...but worse than anything, while living from 1990-97 in COsta Rica, he divorced me! He swore he'd never let me go to have the freedom to marry another man, but money came to him in a law settlement, and he divcorced me so I couldn't have recourse to it! Hre stole my kids for 3 weeks. I was in a battered women's group and they helped me, where, my own US EMBASSY would not...one daughter was not even HIS!! 

Today, 15 yrs later, my kids are 26, 23 & 20...all 3 have had myriad horrendous partners...my 2 girls have gotten pregnant at the age of 20 & 4 months - both of them! My son is with a cokehead, and "Italian gang" member's daughter. Their lives are one holy hell...because my ex & I couldn't stop...he couldn't stop trying to control me by taking them, trying to get them and following me when I finally DID date...and I didn't stop talking to everyone I knew about it...at the cost of my kids' knowing too...and ruining their lives...but I am alive today. There must be a happy medium and a way to NOT allow the kids to be caught up in the mess, like mine were...but I totally feared for my life too...only mine wasn't a cop...I was living in HIS country where HE knew the law... 

Today? he is remarried, I have post traumatic stress disorder and have never gotten over the one love of my life...I loved him above all things...only he wasn't secure enough to receive it & believe me. We ruined too many lives...his, mine, 3 kids, and now his wife & 2 new kids...and today we are friends...we have moved on in our lives, yet I miss him...and he still calls me to talk, though he is in FL & I am in NY.. 

KEEP THE KIDS OUT OF THE MESS...Please!! If it's too late, get them therapy...something...I cry all the time and beg my kids' forgiveness for what we both did. 

Way to go Dr. Phil.  The children are the ones who will suffer the most!  And you made it clear to both parents.  

I truly feel that both parents are more rapted up in their own pain then the pain they are inflicting on the children. I cannot see a hero in this situation.  She feels fear their is a reason for it !  He can't lose control so get it back any way he can.   And in the end the children pay the price......   A shame truly a shame.  I hope that when all is said and done the children will be ok.  Shar