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Topic : 07/20 Love, Lies and the Law

Number of Replies: 906
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Created on : Friday, March 03, 2006, 12:40:45 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 03/06/06) You’ve heard it all before: “If I want it done right, I’ll have to do it myself.” Dr. Phil looks at control freaks, and how their behavior can destroy a marriage. Jim thinks his wife, Sinden, is the most controlling woman in America. They’ve recently separated because, he says, she picked out his clothes, told him what he could watch on TV and micromanaged his finances down to how much he could spend on a candy bar. But Sinden says there’s a darker side of Jim, a police officer of 20 years. She calls him a master manipulator who rules by intimidation. Find out why she says she fears for her life. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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July 29, 2006, 2:21 pm CDT

For the first time I think Dr. Phil missed it

Quote From: fotonuvo

Another characteristic of people who have NPD, they care what people think, sans their family.  They don't care what their wife thinks, they don't care what their children think of them, but them do care what their co-workers thinks.  They have a warped sense of success.  Sinden did say that Jim would say anything to make her look bad and I believe her.  He most likely has found that he loves the brotherhood sympathy of "poor Jim" from his co-workers or anyone that would listen.  He has to appear to be the better parent at all cost, in order to fuel his need to be that "great guy" he's conned everyone into believing.  I agree, this entire appearance on Dr. Phil is just a ploy in his grand plan.  I believe Sinden entirely and specifically at the being of the show after the first video reel...it was all news to her.  When NPD's are backed into a corner they create a diversion and this entire show was one big diversion for Jim.   

I have always thought Dr. Phil was right on the money with his reading of situations.   I not only think he missed one look that Jim gave Sinden at the end.  I think he missed a whole lot of other looks that I recognized as being someone who thought he was getting away with something.  There are way too many of these guys in positions in which they can control the power over their family and wife in particular. 

I hope Dr. Phil re watches the tape of that show.  I also hope someone makes him aware of the case of Julie Rea Harper who was accused of stabbing her 10 year old son to death.  Her chief accuser was her policeman ex-husband.  She spent 2 years in jail then was released by a technicality.  She was retried this past week and found innocent.  The prosecution and Law Enforcement still think she did it and refuse to even investigate Tommy Lynn Sells who killed people across the county and confessed to Diane Fanning that he had killed Joel. 

Sells told someone that he was hired to kill Julie and thought he had done so and was surprised when she attacked him after he stabbed Joel to death.  But since the police never did a proper investigation in the first place it is doubtful this case can ever be resolved.  But Thank God and Diane Fanning, Julie can now get out of the shadow of the false accusations.  I can't imagine anything worse that having a child murdered, unless it was to be falsely accused and tried for committing the crime.

All of my information comes from Diane Fanning, her book, Through the Window, about Sells, and various articles. 

I see Jim as they same type of husband.  And I know why Sinden has to act nice to him.  I really hope Dr. Phil's people  follow up on this and keeps very close attention on the situation.
 
August 8, 2006, 3:42 pm CDT

i am gone

Quote From: noraann

Admitting to yourself and others is the first step. I you are afraid to leave the house, wait until you know he is at work and leave. Take what you need, clothing and necessities. You can go back later with the police to recover the rest of your things. Go to your local police station and ask them to help you get in touch with the local womens shelter. Let them know that you fear for your life and need CAN NOT GO BACK! They can help you get the help you need. Know that not all men are like that. But before you look for another, get your self on track so you don't choose another like that. I am so excited for you! and VERY proud that you are leaving. There are so many of us here that know how you feel and we can help. Keep posting if you can....our prayers are with you and your child.......)))))HUGS((((( 

Nora 

hi there,

 

 just to let you know i am no longer where i used to be thanks for the support.

 
December 11, 2006, 3:21 pm CST

Too many girls & women are brutalized into ....

Quote From: jargreen

What I don't get is why the despicable behavior of a lot of guys out there is not completely eradicated.  These jerks need a female vessel through which to filter their temporary fits of wickedness. So who are these females who are taking this task on??  I read a lot of posts on this board attesting to personal experiences with dishonest men.  But as the old cliche in pop psychology goes, couldn't ya tell early on if a guy is capable of being dishonest, cheap, scheming?  Doesn't he show, at some point, early in the relationship, at least one momentary lapse into disrespect and even treachery?  I'm not one of these guys who says "Told you so" or "You shoulda known," and I am not like so many Americans nowadays, blaming the victim ... but can't we tell our little girls how to avoid these a-holes?  Only THEN will their outrageous behavior become obsolete.
... thinking they have to minimize this crap and stay with these creeps in order to SURVIVE.  The boys/men growing up in these abusive situations often take on the role of perpetrator because they falsely believe that they *must* in order to survive, too. 

So, because it's SO deeply rooted in our psyches, it is harder than heck to stand up to, let alone honestly look at and work to heal. 

Not only that, but it sure seems like there are a LOT of men in power throughout our country and world who *get off* knowing that so many people are being SO horribly abused!  We *could* start teaching our kids in elementary school what is abusive and what is appropriate behavior.  We *could* start working with families with very young children and help teach them better ways of parenting and also work with them to heal them.  We *could* make it easier and safer for ANYONE in a dangerous relationship to "tell" on their abuser and be RESCUED and kept TOTALLY SAFE while the law figures out what to do w/ their attackers.

But we don't do ANY of this!!!  ... WHY NOT?!

Because Someones are seriously **getting off** on maintaining this status quo!!  I wouldn't be surprised if sicko slime lawyers are one big group working to keep our society so screwed-up and court-centered.  Nor if there are a LOT of sicko shrinks out there, getting their jollies off assaulting their patients.  And probably a bunch of sicko judges who love punishing victims for leaving their perps ... "legally" punishing them. of course.... 

Like you, I also used to think the tragedy of abuse would be a lot easier to "fix" until I heard so many horror stories from so many victims abused by not only their "loves", but also by the very people and entities who have the sworn DUTY to protect them!!

A LOT must change, and soon!  Got any ideas on how to stand up to They Who Secretly Want The Abusiveness To Continue?
PS - sorry I was SO late replying but I don't check in very often ...
 
March 14, 2007, 7:51 pm CDT

Serious?

Quote From: lisa_doyle

hi there,

 

 just to let you know i am no longer where i used to be thanks for the support.

Are you seriously defending this woman?  She admits to striking her child with a belt!  Did you miss that bit?  She should be taken directly from the show and thrown straight into jail where she belongs.  She is a child abuser, plain and simple.  Fortunately, the kids have a father who actually cares and has taken some steps to protect them from this monster.  But why does the law do nothing to punish people like this?
 
March 14, 2007, 7:54 pm CDT

Did you miss it?

Quote From: docrob498

 Whil I feel for your sister, welcome to the reality men have faced for years......Women using the police as their "Weapon of choice" when they commit domestic violence against a man. In this society, an accusation of any kind of domestic abuse or sexual abuse made against a man can ruin his life since he is considered guilty until proven innocent by both the courts and the public at large. And even when he can prove his innocence, he is still considered guilty by many.
This woman thinks it's okay to hit kids with a belt.  There is nothing her husband can possibly do to her that is worse than her hitting her kids with a belt.  She can get away from a husband.  What can those poor defenceless children do to protect themselves.  If anything, his occupation as a police office appears to have prevented him from ensuring that the law prosecute her to the fullest extent for her crimes against the children. 
 
June 5, 2007, 10:29 am CDT

war of the roses

my wife and i are getting a divorce she is telling alot of lies but the one that stands out the most and hurts the most is that she is telling everyone is that she is scared for her life. she has no reason at all to even think that way -i bet i can figure out what some of you folks are thinking  that there has to be some truth to this but you are wrong, when we were trying to get our marriage back in order with a marriage counsler she aditted  to the counsler and me that her lawyer told her to say this as to help her case. my problem is the doctor patient confidentiality. she is going to lie on the stand about this and we all know that you cannot lie on the stand is there any way at all that the doctor can tell the court the truth about what she said to he and i
 
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