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Topic : 07/20 Love, Lies and the Law

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Created on : Friday, March 03, 2006, 12:40:45 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 03/06/06) You’ve heard it all before: “If I want it done right, I’ll have to do it myself.” Dr. Phil looks at control freaks, and how their behavior can destroy a marriage. Jim thinks his wife, Sinden, is the most controlling woman in America. They’ve recently separated because, he says, she picked out his clothes, told him what he could watch on TV and micromanaged his finances down to how much he could spend on a candy bar. But Sinden says there’s a darker side of Jim, a police officer of 20 years. She calls him a master manipulator who rules by intimidation. Find out why she says she fears for her life. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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heren44

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worried
March 4, 2006, 4:51 am PST

Love, Lies, and The Law

 You see alot of women complaining about men that are controlling; but I have seen women that can be just as bad.  I have been in Mental Health Groups where there are women that can be just as controling as men, and they are as afraid for their safety.  I have heard of women beating their signaificant others up also.  I personally feel just as bad for a man that goes thru that as a women does.
But, I do very much feel sorry for this woman that is going thru what she is going thru.  I know how she feels, I have been thru it myself.  I couldn't leave his sight when we first got together without him calling EVERYONE to find out where I was, and what was I doing!  Trust me, it did not last long!!  I made it very clear to him, just because I had a diamond on my finger-it can come off just as easy as it went on; I am NOT putting up with that type of bull_ _ _ _!!  I have friends that I had a LONG time before I ever met him and if he thought I was giving them up, he was dead wrong!  Not that I did not love my fiance, but I was NOT giving up MY PERSON-the person I was before we were together.  He fell in love with the person I was-outgoing, friendly, caring, and passionate about my friends; and I was not about to change to satisfy him.
He tried it again one time after we were married, and again-it did NOT work!!  We had a beautiful daughter, and I was not about to let her see that it was ok to let a man treat her that way!  I had let her see other things in our marraige that I shouldn't, but that was one thing I drew the line at-do not let him alienate you from family or friends!!  If you do, then he has you under his complete control, and you have lost the total person you are.
Good luck honey, and please-STAND UP FOR THE PERSON YOU ARE; AND KICK HIM TO THE CURB!  I realize with him being a former police officer it is harder because they all seem to stick together, but get away from that area where he has no infulence over the law!!!
Take care of yourself, please!!  If it has not gotten to the abuse stage, do not hang around for that because trust me-it WILL eventually, it will!  Take it from a woman that knows for sure!!!

heren44@hotmail.com
hchilds@stny.rr.com
 
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leighanna_
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March 4, 2006, 10:21 am PST

03/06 Love, Lies and the Law

I struggled with mental illness since I was 15 As an adult I was finally diagnosed with being bi-polar. Recentaly I have had a hard time with being manic. But when I was younger I struggled more often with depression. However, all parts of this illness are hard to live with.  

I hope this show will help people see what people really are like. The media, movies, and tv often upset me the way they portray people with bipolar.  

I have asked that you put this issue on your show before and thank you for doing so. 

  
 
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guidedogs
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March 4, 2006, 7:04 pm PST

03/06 Love, Lies and the Law

Hi. Leighanna, I couldn't help but be drawn to your post.  I'm going through similar issues to you currently.  I'm in treatment and have been for over a year now but it looks like I may be finally be getting a definitive dignosis. smile It looks like I have bpd traits and bypollar.  I hope things improve for you and stay somewhat consistance for me. 
 
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injustice
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embarrassed
March 4, 2006, 7:36 pm PST

Society

Quote From: leighanna_

I struggled with mental illness since I was 15 As an adult I was finally diagnosed with being bi-polar. Recentaly I have had a hard time with being manic. But when I was younger I struggled more often with depression. However, all parts of this illness are hard to live with.  

I hope this show will help people see what people really are like. The media, movies, and tv often upset me the way they portray people with bipolar.  

I have asked that you put this issue on your show before and thank you for doing so. 

  

 I also suffer from Bi-polar. I am in disbelief of the stigma the way society labels us. I read 80 % of the world surveyed believe we should be locked up.!!  I was told this girl quit her job because a man was manic-depressive."crazy"."A neighbor committed suicide because she was on xanax"This makes me keep my diagnosis and medication a secret. I'm surprised THEY haven't come to far from the insane asylum treatment.I thought we were beyond that era,but I guess I am wrong. Maybe this is why some don't seek treatment. I believe society needs educated.
 
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tripleh
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confused
March 5, 2006, 11:59 am PST

What's gonig On!! really.

I really don't get humans!!!!! Really!!!!! humans!!!!! I'm really confused. Someone tell me what's really going on. I hear one side that the Millitary guy is a Master minulipator and I hear another thing that his X wife(i think) told him what to watch on tv and she threw away his clothes. Are they both out of their minds? I'm really confused!!!!!
 
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ladybug11
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chillin'
March 5, 2006, 1:42 pm PST

quote!!

i  hate a man thats controling!   things can't work for couples if they are like that..  you got to beable to trust each other!  if theirs no trust, then you should  leave each other. find someone else... 
 
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atatoian
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March 5, 2006, 3:55 pm PST

my friend

Hi. I have a friend, and him and his girl friend are  always having relationship problems. They both care about each other but, they fight nonstop. A few times like today she took us to Sinking Ponds after begging her to go with us. Then we both got out vehicle she locked her doors and drove off leaving us behind. She called and said he had to make a choice. If he wasn't to call back in 10 minutes, she was going to go home and and leave him. When he called her back he, she said " were leaving and dropping Alex off at his house. Or you can break up with me cause I'm heading home". So she picked us up, but said "you wont be seeing Andy for awhile". I don't know what to do. If you could give me some advice on how to help them out, it would be very great. 
 
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tripleh
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March 5, 2006, 3:59 pm PST

true

Quote From: ladybug11

i  hate a man thats controling!   things can't work for couples if they are like that..  you got to beable to trust each other!  if theirs no trust, then you should  leave each other. find someone else... 

Damm skippy hippy
 
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pprincess
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March 6, 2006, 3:33 am PST

Control Freak Rellos

Some of my rellos are control freaks. I have learned to distance myself  from my mother and two of my sisters as they nitpick over trivial issues. They rouse on me for suffering from Clinical Depression, rouse on me for taking anti-depressants, then rouse on me for talking to other people about it. 

  

One aunty was always interferring in financial matter-telling me I should be paying off one of Mum's debts. To cut a long story short, she demands an apology for making her look bad because of her interferance. [It was none of her darned business anyway.] I sent  a reply saying no apology was forthcoming and if she wanted to remove herself from my life, it was her choice and her loss. 

  

I also insisted upon being treated with respect, dignity and as an equal-despite suffering from Asperger's Syndrome. 

  

Mum tells other rellos I don't like her. Well, she doesn't like me as she always assumed the worst about me. She dishes out emotional blackmail with a shovel so I told her the emotional and verbal abuse must stop. She said I can't dictate like that. [I'm not dictating. That's what Hitler and Stalin did!] 

  

She tells one aunt she is reaching out which is a load of baloney. She rarely phones and she doesn't visit me when she is in Sydney. However, this particular aunty thinks I'm making it all up as Mum "is such a nice person". 

  

Am I doing OK so far by standing up for myself? 
 
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kyrosemom
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March 6, 2006, 4:54 am PST

I would not be surprised

I would not be surprised if this cop is indeed abusing his power.

I am not saying the wife is totally innocent, but since he has still got his job after all of the reports, etc, then that says something about the "boys club" a lot of police depts can be. Yes, there are decent cops and I am not slamming them all, but they tend to protect their own, even if one is abusing his power and his wife. The whole thing about taking the kids and even spitting on the wife. That is just horrible and disgusting.

No she should not spank her child with a belt and leave welts, but spanking is not illegal in most places and the cop should not use his power to alienate his kids from their mom.
 
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