Topic : 07/20 Love, Lies and the Law

if she really has all the proof she claims to have, than why hasn't she gotten a lawyer.  I think that the woman was  lying most of the time. I think that she is making most of the things up since she was caught beating her son. She now wants to make her husband look bad and make him out as the bad guy and her as the victim. Don't get me wrong, i don't think that the husband is totally Innocent, but when Dr. Phil asked him if he had done this or that, he never denied. On the other hand, the wife always denied everything, which makes me believe that she did do all those things that her husband said she did. Just my two cents. 

Dr. Phil, I can't believe that i'm saying this, but you were wrong today!  I was married to a police officer for 25 years and watching your show today brought back many, many painful memories.  You told the wife to keep going to higher authorities and that there are people that will act in her behalf. But I can tell you from experience that there will be hell to pay if she does that.  I could write for hours telling you of experiences with my ex-husband that would make your hair (ha!) stand on end, but I won't do that.  Law enforcement officers have a tighter "union" and an understood agreement to cover each others' backs and if you have not lived in it first hand from the inside, you would be shocked to know how it really is.  Everyone that I know who has been married to law enforcement officers has the same story.  This man's face and the way he talked and the way he answered you and talked to her was exactly what I have seen for years and years.  He knows how to control people.  He knows how to control situations.  And he also knows how to "handle the problem" and go undetected and free of consequences and he will probably have help in "getting even" with his group of law enforcement buddies.  There are good men and women serving their communities.   But every police officer that I have ever known has said that it is around 85% that are like the man on your show.  Many spouses aren't aware of the things going on, but I know very few that have not found out eventually.  I'm looking at his face on your show right now and the smirking and the glaring is typical.  She may have done a million things wrong, but she cannot stop him and his friends from any type of retribution that he wants to inflict on her.  And he will get away with it.  That man's eyes sent cold chills through me.  My ex was a Sunday School teacher and a leader in our church and a police officer.  Most people thought that combination was wonderful and that it spoke volume of his high ideals and his moral integrity.  Yet he had a side to him that only a few people ever saw and it was dark and controlling and manipulative and he was very good at disguising it and at keeping all of his bases covered.  Thank God that part of my life is over and I have an awesome Christian husband now who is a man of integrity and honesty.  God has definitely honored me for being a good wife to a disturbed husband and for keeping my eyes on Him.  I am happier than I ever dreamed I could be.  I tell my husband now that he is everything that I dreamed of as a little girl and everything that I prayed for as a woman.  God is good!!!  We do get second chances! 

Dr. Phil,  I think you are the wisest man on the planet, but you completely missed it on this show. 

That man is dangerous, dangerous!!  I have written you a letter in the past about my friend and what she has experienced at the hands of her ex husband (attorney and former DA).  These men know the system and work it to take children away from mothers.  I can only imagine the stress this poor woman is under.  I don't agree with spanking, but it appears to me that she probably just lost it under all the stress of knowing her ex got his hands on a tape she was trying to protect herself with.   This whole situation is so familar to me.  I could see it on his face and I believe every single thing that she said about him.   I think she came to you for help and hopefully a way to save her children and you completely let her down.  She needs help!  The system is so screwed up and if you need more examples go to the non custodial mothers website link that you have posted on the Dr. Phil website.  There is an epedimic in this country of powerful men with money taking their children away from the mother.   These men don't give a rat's ass about their children although they will hide behind that idea.  They are all about controlling and destroying women with the only weapon they have to hurt them with and this is their children.  The woman on today's show knows what her ex is capable of and is scared to death because no one will believe her INCLUDING YOU!  If you want to help those children you should get them away from their crazy father ASAP!   

Please reconsider the response to this man.  I think you are so awesome and help so many people.  I wish you would consider speaking with my friend.  Her story is amazing and equally terrifying if not more so.    

Dr. Phil - could you not see the evil glare in Jim's eyes?  Did you not hear the double-speak?   It came across loud and clear that Sinden was justified in her fear of Jim.  She is clearly reacting to his threatening behavior - not instigating it.     

It's as if cops don't protect other cops.  Well, they both acted like "of Course not"  but you don't have to look far to see this kind of abuse of the system. 

I'm amazed that Dr. Phil gave Jim such a pass.    The manipulations - even of contacting Dr. Phil as a pretense -- that he cares for the marriage.  I think it's as Sinden says and my prayers go with her.    I think she has to fear for her life and for her kids' lives.   

I think something that wasn't touched on here is the children, not really. You talked about how he can change this, she can change that, well what about those kids? They are trapped in the middle yes, but they are in a prison too. You see when you are the child of a police officer you are drilled with the facts, the facts are things like - you have no place to run, you can tell no one the truth, you can NEVER escape. I can only imagine how frustrating it would be for the wife of a law officer, knowing there is no one you can really talk to, because even when going outside of his precinct it will always get back to his precinct, and he will find out, it might give you a free day feeling like maybe something positive can happen, but in the long run it will still get back to him and make things so much more difficult for you. 

I knew before I heard it on the show that she had lost the kids, why? because of what i said up there, who will you believe a mother who is upset and trying so hard to fight for the safety of her kids, or the man in the uniform? No matter that he is the one she is fighting against!  

And those kids, trapped in his prison, knowing every whisper that is too loud will also get back to the uniform eventually.  

Being a child of a police officer made me totally afraid of authority, not only the police, but anyone that is in any authoritative position, and the one thing that was pushed into me when i did try to report the dysfunction was guilt guilt guilt, she totally tried to make me feel like everything i was doing was only hurting her, who cared if it hurt the kids.