Topic : 08/01 Extreme Highs and Lows

Good idea about the round table. 

Don't worry about fitting into someone else's schema--you're you. 

Cheers  

Susan 

   I enjoyed the show today; however, while I was pleased to see the topic of BiPolar illness discussed, I was a bit dismayed at the fact that the program seemed to focus on somewhat extreme examples (which are certainly valid and real), but did not touch on the fact that there is help available (possibly to give some specific ideas and/or resources), and that there are those of us who have been able to experience mental stability despite truly having this illness. 

   Like many, I too have "been to hell and back" with this illness and have experienced a lot of pain while struggling to understand myself and my illness.  I can relate very well to some of the messages posted with regard to feeling like a guinea pig with the trial and error of NUMEROUS medications, their effects, AND side effects.  I too have been under the treatment of many psychiatrists and therapists over the years, and have experienced time spent in various mental health/psych. hospitals.  No, it has not been, and is not an easy road.  I too was misdiagnosed for many years.  The pain, stress, and agony at times has been almost unbearable for me.  (And friends and family-no question about it) 

  For me, ACCURATE information about my illness that I've acquired over the years has provided me with great strength and courage to continue day to day to better understand the illness and how it affects me as an individual, as well as the impact it has on my life as a whole...I have an excellent psychiatrist, therapist, and FINALLY the right combination of medications I take on a daily basis to balance my chemical imbalance.  Additionally, over the years through excellent therapy and my own perserverence, I have learned to truly love myself.  For me, it has been a sum total of all the parts I've just mentioned that has helped me to get to where I am today. 

   I really want to extend my heartfelt empathy to all who are affected by this illness; that is, the person with the illness, as well as family and friends, etc. who are closely connected to those of us who are BiPolar.  I know first hand that there is nothing easy or fun about being BiPolar.  The road CAN be long and discouraging, I know.   But, please hang on to hope, and try to remember what I've learned "I am not responsible for my illness, but I certainly can be responsible for the way I choose to handle it, by doing everything in my power to seek the help I need." 

   I personally feel that the stigma that can be attached to those of us who have mental illnes is unwarranted.  However, if we continue to learn about ourselves and try to educate others in the process, maybe we can effect a positive change among the views of society as a whole... 

   I can only pray that my experiences might help someone else who is walking in the same shoes I'm wearing... 

   Thanks to all who have read my entry.  If I can be of any help, please let me know!   

Hi I am a mother of 5 children in a blended family and well we have a lot in our house hold. One of my 8yr old son's (Step-son, but mine) is diagnoised with ADHD, I am a diagnoised ADHD and pre-menapausal, my 4yr old has a PDD-NOS diagnosis, but they are re-evaluating that and there is the possibility of replacing it with regulatory disorder, OCD and some other things, and then I have my dear 5 yr  old who really is the one concerning about bipolar.  

Any who, off topic. MY 5 yr old son's paternal side of the family has a history of bipolar. Well about a year and a half ago his behavior started to change. He was showing moodiness and outbursts. I was pushing these changes in behavior off on the preschool he was attending and the fact that not to long before that his stepfather and I got married and his biological father disappeared and we moved. There were just a lot of changes in his life at the time, but over the past year and a half he has be come more and more violent and obsesed with violent shows and acts, like ripping the body parts off his GI JOE guy and laughing about it. It's not a normal laugh either like hey this is crazy, but a laugh that sent chills down my spine. He also was hitting me and the younger 2 kids, which he still does. He urinates every where,except the toilet and sneaks any thing he can esp. food. If you walk into the room he will imediately hide it in the couch cousions uner the couch behind the entertainment center any where he can get it to fit.  He is 5 and tells me that everyone hates him and that he even hates himself, using third person to talk. I mentioned all of this to his pedeatriation and she recommended a wonderful therapist, but he has not given any insite as to what he thinks is going on. In the first meeting with him we (my husband and I) told him what was going on with our son and he took an extensive medical and life history. At that point he mentioned Bipolar, but now nothing. I am sooooo afraid that one day my sweet boy is going to truly hurt some one badly. It's to the point that you can not leave him in a room alone with the litte ones, due to the fact that if he has a mood snap one of them will be hurt by him. Now with 5 kids it is hard to be right by his side all the time. I can tell him not to go into a room until a little later to try and seperate the kids, but when my back is turned off he goes. I guess this is one of the reasons that I should be glad that we have a small house. I can usually hear what is going on a couple of rooms away, but like I said usually, not always. I am at my end I lost it the other night with him I blew up I could not take it any more. I yelled so loud and so hard that my voice was gone the next day. He had shoved my 4 yr old into the book shelf and left a huge scratch on his back. It was the last straw. I felt so bad afterword. I sat down with him and we talked, but I know it's not right of me and unfair to him. Esp. if he does have bipolar and is not medicated, he can't control him self. Now I know it is not an excuse or get out of jail free card, but it is a reason and I think at this point with out meds it does warent some compassion. Besides in the heat of the moment he won't grasp a word I am saying any way.  

I fear what the next few years will bring if this does not get under control soon. He can almost out power the 2 oldest kids when he is in the heat of rage and well it's not going to be much longer before he can out power me in those moments. 

I Love my son and just want what is best for him and to help him in the best possible manner ya know. He has his great moments and I try to remember them in his fits of rage, but it is hard. I am a Mom on a Missin trying to get to the answers and help he needs. I would love for Dr. Phil to do a show on bipolar children. I don't think people realize that it can happen at such a young age and that it is soooo difficult on not only child, but the parents and siblings too. I cry every day at least twice a day in exhaustion, heartbreak and lonliness. It is very trying on a parent emotions, mental power and physically to deal with all that this disorder comes with. The good moments come and go along with the bad and sometimes it is so very hard to enjoy the good ones b/c you are holding your breath and hopping that this one will last forever, but you just know better than that. I keep strong by going to church and through prayer. I know God sent me this special little boy for a reason and well by golly I won't give up on him now. 

   I totally get what you are saying about your bipolar, i really only have suffered with the depression, i only had one manic state.  I went in for surgery and the medicine that they put me to sleep with i think that is what messed up my levels and i went into manic,  i was manic for about 4 months, spent around 10,000 and i really didn't think there was nothing wrong with me, i felt the best i had ever felt, of course the money i spent and me being so confident and maybe a little to confident caused my husband to seek help for me,  i really have been told this since i was 24 but the doctor didn't explain it to me and i just thought i could just take the medicine until i started feeling better.  Well, i am anolther success story, (for 8 years) I am taking lithum and i was on Zoloft,  Anyway i didn't have any  relapes or depression for the 8 years, i worked full time too.  You are right about the trama though, long story short, we ended up losing our beautiful home and had to file chapter 7. I have been in a depression now for 9 months. No one would of ever known about my bipolar either and i was expressing my illness with my friends  because i feel iike this is my thorn in my side, that i will have to live with and i have accepted the illness. I guess now it is so good to hear other women that have made it to a point where they feel normal.  I knew this disorder could come back into my life but i really thought i was in control of bipolar. I hope and pray for you that you will always stay in recovery.  I know that i can beat this I just have to get the right help.  The medicines you are on, could you tell me a little more about them?  I have only taken lithum and it seemed to work i think i just need a difffernt anitdepressent.  

Thanks and God Bless 

Donna 

is a person--reason for the mixup---Vegemite is a really nasty vegetable paste from the UK that my mom used to spread on bread as a kid in WW2/or maybe it was read about in the Brit boarding school books when we were kids, I don't remember --one of my sis's was in Australia a couple of years ago and brought some back--it smelled totally gross and disgusting--worse than bad dog breath. 

I wasn't trying to insult anyone. 

Take care 

Susan