Topic : 08/01 Extreme Highs and Lows

and I can't imagine the pain, heartache, raw grief and anger you have felt and suffered following the death of your beloved husband. The fact that he was hospitalized for such brief time periods given his serious brain disorder and other medical problems was incomprehensible yet it happens way too often. Re: the extremely insensitive and cruel remarks that the nurse practioner made to you, I think you should write her a letter and tell her the extra pain she inflicted on you during the worst time of your life. There are definitely some excellent and compassionate professionals in the mental health field but there are many who are not. When my then 14 yr old daughter attempted suicide 6 months after her dad/my husband died of a rare form of heart disease, a prominent psychiatrist  who treated her at the hospital said to me: "How is Mel ever going to get better when you're always around?" I was fighting to save the life of my precious child, who had a serious illness? Would a doctor dare say that to a parent if the child was suffering from cancer??  My grief counselor encouraged me several months later to write a letter to that doctor and I did. The psychiatrist never responded but I hope that she seriously thought about what she said to families in crisis from then on. It helped in my healing process. 

My heart goes out to you and I'm sending you hugs and hope. Grief/loss is the worst pain I have ever felt and it permeates your entire mind, body and soul. Yes, your husband's life mattered--- to you and to everyone who knew and loved him and yes, he needed and deserved better care and treatment than what he got at the VA. . He was truly  fortunate to have such a strong and supportive wife in you. You couldn't save him from this deadly brain disorder but you loved him, stood by him and in the end, that is what truly matters. I would encourage you to find a grief counselor to help you through the journey ahead. My heart goes out to all of you who have lost a loved one to this terrible illness. That will be my worst fear until the day I die.  

My husband was recently diagnosed with bipolar, He claims that it was being in a manic state that led him to the lies and the affair. Any thoughts from anyone? How could he have turned off the mania so well and lied so well for almost 4 months? 

I was thrilled to see this topic on the show, and knowing Dr. Phil,  he won't sensastionalize the disorder.   I have been living with this my whole life, my older brother was Bi Polar and ultimately ended his life at the young age of 28.  When my son was diagnosed, by a very trained, highly specialized pyschiatrist almost 2 years ago, I had to become my son's best advocate and learn eveyrthing and more about this disorder in younger children.  I wish Dr. Phil would also show younger people living with bipolar and the effects on the entire family.   

With my son, everyday is a rollercoaster. He has called 911 on his oldest brother for changing the TV station, he has told me I was going to burn in hell, threatened to harm himself and others.  During his Manic periods, the stress level in our home increase aobut 100%.  Our medical expesese are through the roof (and that's just was our HMO won't pay)  

 He was admitted to a children's behavioral center last summer (one of the youngest they've seen), but still every day is a challange. He has a very hard time in school.  He sees a psychiatrist, two psychologists and is on meds.  Without the  meds, life in our home is an utter nightmare.   

My son, has co curring disorders, along with Bi Polar he is also ADHD, which makes for even more challages.  I would not wish this problem on anyone and hope that with educating the public and educators (our school still doesn't "GET IT", they still, after 7 months think he is only ADHD with some "behaviour" problems" even though I've printed out documents from the BiPolar Kids web page for the school!).  It's so unfair not only the person who has to live with this disorder but to their families who  have to deal with ignorance about it on a daily basis.  I had the unfortunate experience last spring of having a mother (whom I thought was a good friend ) report me to CPS about my son, she told the case worker it was munchusin sydrome by proxy and I was pursposely  making my son ill.....what a load of crap.  She has to this day, not apologized for what she did, for the hell she put not just my son, but my other two children, my husband and I through.  The case worker saw all my documentation and the records I keep on all my son's doctor appointments, his meds, and all that, and dismissed the case, but the fall out was horrendous. 

I am hoping with Dr. Phil's show some of the stimga wiill be removed from this disorder.   

Thanks for "listening"  

And keep up the good work Dr. Phil!  I was in the audience on Feb. 23 and loved it!   

Mommy to a bipolar 6 year old, Victoria