Topic : 08/01 Extreme Highs and Lows

for I have seen your show on bi polar and for as I see it all it is very hard to live with for as I have this illness with pst. for I live for others to profet from and have a job to try to treat it all for I live with my mother because in my manic phases I feel I can do any thing like superman though only to come out of a high where I have put my self through a big big spending sphree and yes i can't spell either for as I wish at times I was dead so i don't have to deal with it all from voices telling me and so on for as i wish for people to help but yet keep there distance I have no idea why I am writting this all

I see so many people say things on Bi-Polar. I think it would take a week of shows to really let the public get a good grasp on this subject. There are so many desgrees of Bi- Polar.  

I am Bi-Polar and everyday is a battle foe me. I take my meds and do the things I am supposed to. I do not hear voices (thank heavens). I just cannot stand to be in my own skin most the time. 

I wake up everyday and hope today it is going to be a good one. But all it takes is one little thing and my whole day is shot. I get so very tired of it. 

I do think alot about just ending my life. But then I love my kids and grandkids and do not want to leave them.I know without them I would be history. 

Bless all of you whom suffer from any kind of mental illness! 

I used to like Montel Williams and Sylvia Brown. But they refer to Bi-Polar as crazies. We are not crazy we just walk to a different drummer and they do not get the beat! 

Feeling helpless 

 My 7 year old daughter was recently diagnosed with bi-polar disorder.  She has been a difficult child since she was born, but I would never have thought she was bi-polar.  She is profoundly deaf which makes getting her help so very difficult.  We have not been able to find a doctor that can sign.  She see's 2 doctors, a psychiatrist, and psychologist.  She also see's a behavioral specialist at her school for the deaf.  The school does not believe she is bi-polar and feel that it is the diagnosis of the moment for children. 
It is so difficult, the doctors cannot communicate with her, so they just sit and view her.  All their information comes from us.  I feel she needs the opportunity to have someone talk with her, to ask her what she feels, but we cannot find anyone that works with the deaf in the field of psychiatry. 
We have no family history of bi-polar disorder in our family, which also leads me to believe that this may be the wrong diagnosis.
She also has been diagnosed with ADHD and is on meds for that, which seems to help in her being able to sit and finish a task, and controls most of her hyperactivity.  As the drug wears off she becomes extremely hyper.
She has behavioral problems, and frequent long lasting violent rages.  She becomes so strong during these rages that it is almost impossible for 2 adults to control her.  She is on a med. at night to help calm her down and get her to sleep, prior to her being on this med. she would only sleep about 4 hours a night, and go strong the next day with no naps and continue the cycle.
I feel so lost, so helpless, I have done hours and hours of research,  numerous phone calls, but cannot find anyone that can help my daughter, short of giving her meds, but without, what I believe spending time with her and communicating with her (due to her deafness) to make this diagnosis.
Our lives are out of control and have no where to turn.

Mamma to Madison, Caroline

my brother has bipolar with suicidal tendency's.  his main problem is that he does not sleep that much as the mania keeps him up.  they checked his lithium levels and he has to take this medication to balance the chemicals in the brain. They keep putting him on alot of medications which i think are horrible with terrible side affects, either they give diabetes, or ruin your liver and really none of them seem to work.  either they make him like a zombie, no interest in anything and he just stood in his room or they made him clean the house like a crazy man etc.  his wife was no help and he really had no support, she liked it when he was like a zombie as she did her own thing.  needless to say, she threw him out of the house and he started drinking which was even worse and now he lives in a room paying $168.00 a week, in a bad neighborhood with no friends no family (as i live in NJ).  well he couldn't sit in the room anymore he had to call the ambulance as his mania was not letting him sleep and now he is in columbia hospital in florida with no one, not even his son or stepchildren that he raised go to help him.  i am trying to best to help him but i fear if he goes back to that empty room it will not be good, he says he has nothing to wake up for, i am trying to help him but i am so far away, is there anything that can help him with the restlessness and the depression, i worry about him, and I love my brother, I hope he makes it....

  

  

I have read alot of the messages on the board.  I have been bi-polar since I was seven years old, Iam now 36 and I am not on medication.  I wish someone would talk about the success stories instead of how mental illness makes you a loser, criminal, or a babbling idiot.  I live a perfectly normal life.  Iam married, have a child, and work.  I have not spent my life in hospitals nor have I had delusions.  Does anyone including Dr. Phil ever want to talk about degrees of mental illness?  No one I have ever met including therapists or Psychiatrists have been able to tell that I am bi-polar.  Shows like this give people like me a misrepresented definition.  Being what I am is not easy or not something that I would wish on any one, but it is not all gloom and doom.  I try to pull the good out of what I have been afflicted with.  Bi-polar afflicts people that have very high intelligence and I am grateful for that.  I have experienced the worst of bi-polar disorder and also that beauty of being afflicted with this illness.  Some of the people on this message board should read a book called "The unquiet mind" by Kay redfield Jamison.  She gives you another way of looking at this complicated illness.  Maybe I am one of the lucky one's, but educate yourself about the disease and the medications associated with this disease.  Knowledge is power and once you can understand what you have then it is one step closer to conquering the devastation that this illness can bring to you and others around you....... 

 I can feel her pain and anger and helplessness. I was only diagnosed 8 years ago. But I realise that I have had it since I was a child. 

I know in the past I have done a few things I regret but thankfully I have never wanted to hurt anyone . 

I find it amazing that so many have this disorder. I thought I was so alone and times still feel I am. I dont think my family will ever understand... 

 I am 24 and my mother is Bipolar.  For many  years she was up and down, in and out of mental hospitals.  My heart goes out to Alex and Kashmir.  I can relate to what they are feeling.  It is very hard to have a mother who is Bipolar, because you can never really trust her to be the same person from day to day. This causes walls to go up that are hard to bring down.  As a daughter, I felt guilty for not loving my mo, and angry for not having a mom that was as normal as everyone else's. There were times when I blamed myself for all of it, as postpartum depression was the trigger for her illness.  It is only now that I have really made peace with myself and my mother.  With time, I realized that I was not the trigger and that when she spiraled it was not my fault. You as a family cannot control what goes on in a bipolar person's head.  I know that for my family it was very hard emotionally and financially to deal with the uncertaintity of this disease. My mother's illness culminated in a suicide attempt on her part when I was 14.  I feel that this was a blessing in disguise. When she made the attempt, she was sent to a different doctor who put her on a different medication.  Since the change in meds she has been much better. She still had 2 or 3 more episodes, but has been episode free for almost 6 years now.  There is hope of control of this disorder.  I know that when you are in the middle of the manic times it feels like you will be cursed with this problem forever, but you don't have to be.  With help my mother is now a functioning person, and my family dynamic is better than it has ever been. Hopefully Kashmir and Alex's mother gets the help she needs, for the sake of the whole family.  Hopefully, with time, her sons can forgive her, I have forgiven my mother, and love her fully now.

my brother has bipolar and was married with children, but now he lives in room by himself with no family as i am in another state.  he doesn't sleep much at all, the mania keeps him awake, he feels as though he has nothing to wake up to everymorning. his family does not see him, they want nothing to do with him.  He got so lonely in the room that he called the ambulance as he was having suicidal thoughts. he is columbia hospital, he says he can't sleep, is there anything i can do for him, i am worried about him,  he is 47 years old, a nice guy really, i wish he could start his life over with a woman that really loves him and that would have helped him.

I was looking forward to watching Dr. Phil's show on Bipolar Disorder. I felt a sense of relief that finally a credible tv personality would be discussing this subject. However, I am extremely disappointed in the show's portrayal of Bipolar Disorder. Dr. Phil only showed two people with severe cases of Bipolar Disorder. As a side note, they were referred to as having Bipolar II which is classified as depression with instances of HYPOmania. These people clearly have had several bouts of flat out mania. I would have loved to see more people like myself with Bipolar Disorder. I am 26 and have been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder for 5 years. I have been through the ups and downs and have even been hospitalized twice, once for overdosing on prescription Klonipin. But all the while, I attended Tufts University and graduated on the Dean's List with a degree in Clinical Psychology. Now i don't mean to imply that this is typical, but I took have had the major bouts of depression and mania and deal with Bipolar Disorder everyday. I still wonder if I am acting "normal." I just wished that Dr.Phil would have presented the disorder in a way that greater encompassed the disorer. In my opinion the program just perpetuated images of people with this disorder as people displaying abnormal and abhorrent behavior. I would ask Dr. Phil to please do another show on this serious illness that has effected so many wonderful, talented and gifted people. Give these people a sense of hope, that like me, they can eventually be properly treated and live much happier lives. As a side note to those that are Bipolar on this message board. I am currently a patient at the Massachusetts General Hospitals Bipolar Research Clinic. I am currently taking Lamictal, Zoloft and Seroquel. I have a wonderful therapist who i see once every two weeks. I finally feel back to my old self, although i am always weary of whether or not i am acting "normal." I attend graduate school at Tufts University and I am pursuing my degree in education to teach visual arts to high school students. (Yes we can have positive effects on children!) I am curious...did any other Bipolar people feel this way. Wouldn't you have liked to learn more about the disorder through a broader discussion? I am sorry Dr. Phil but you were way off on this one!

I started seeking help in 1979 for depression, and was given numerous drugs throughout the years. I'd give up, take nothing and cycle up or down for months/years. When the downs came, I would seek help again.  Well, it only took 20 years to be correctly diagnosed! 

  

The relief at knowing I wasn't imagining these problems was short-lived. 

For the next  18 months, I was on the medication Merry-go-Round (Lithium, Depakote,Effexor, Zyprexa...). I rapidly gained a LOT of weight and started having blood pressure problems. 

  

So, I stopped all medications (5 years ago)and am doing well. I know when I'm getting close and have the luxury of locking myself in my room for however long it takes for it to pass.  I continued to 

work throughout it all--and it was not easy.