Topic : 08/01 Extreme Highs and Lows

Thanks for such wonderful resources.  I want to get that magazine!!!  I am a 26 year old mother of three, and I have bipolar 2.  I am a rapid cycler.  We are a great group of wonderful, creative, intelligent, and talented people.  I am always sad to see these headlines that you were speaking of, not only because it reflects badly on us as a group of people, but because you don't go from a level mood to acute psychosis in a few seconds!  It's a process, and it takes awhile to get that sick.  I can't help but see "Another Person Dies Unnecissarily Due to a Failure in a System that is way past Broken," whenever I see these headlines.  Dr. Phil, I am disappointed in you.  I am shocked that when Cathy was putting herself down, you did not speak up and comfort her a little.  I don't agree with the way she treated her boys AT ALL!  You always say that you do your homework, but I don't think you did the right homework in some areas.  Fortunately, you will never have the first-hand experience of being a single mother with bipolar and without medication.  I have.  I know exactly how I felt when I was saying things like "I know that I am a bad mother," and let me tell you, it hurts. It hurts and hurts some more.  Words can't even express how worthless you feel, and how ashamed and guilty.  You feel like you are a failure and everyone should know it.  Cathy is not a bad mom, she is a sick mom.  This is not an acceptable situation, but there is a difference.  I really admire Cathy for coming on the show and being so honest, and she did this without meds!  I was afraid of having my door open, even, without meds!  I wish her the best of luck with her treatment and I am excited to see the follow-up.   

On March 7th, I was glad to see you were dealing with Mental Illness. As I watched Cathy talk , I felt the need to open up. To share my life.   

I am a 55 year onld woman, I have never loved myself, nor do I like myself, I don't trust anyone. don't let anyone get to close to me, I keep my wall up. I hate to go out I like being at home. I've always been a loner. 

 I have tried to kill my self several times in my life the first was at about 13, then at 16, and several times in between, and the last time I tried was the year 2004.I hear and always have heard a demons talking to me, the voices inside say's I'm no good. 

the Church would tell me is was Satin and I need to pray to God , to have him take satins hold away.I found away, to play the game of life , by trying to be what everyone else wanted me to be. But inside i would build up with anger, and the blow up. 

 I had a very bad childhood, I was given away several times as a child , starting at Birth,  born in Ohio,  moved to New Mexico, where, my first memery was of a man wanting me to kiss is penis, that was at the age of 3 or so, I was shiped off to California, and was sexually abused at the age of 6 or 7 by my biological Father,( this I found out at the age of 18),   I was shiped off from California, to Washington state, where I lived with my bilogical mother, for 6 months, she adoped me out, at about the age of 9where I was sent to Texas..  

My adoped parents, mentally, phically, and sexually aboused me.  My adoped dad abused me from the age of 13 too the age of 16. The people who adoped me where church going people, Hell fire and brimstone, always being told that I was a sinner and going to hell if I did this or that. 

  I married for the first time at the age of 17, this was a guy from the church, who, one time afer being beat with 6 willow sticks, saw what had happened to me. He was 2 years older then me.  

this marriage was not good, I hated sex, we did not get alone, there was one son born, but by the age of three I gave my son to his dad, and I left.  

this time in my life I became whild as a buck, and used sex to get what ever I wanted. 

I married a total of 4 times, each time self destration took place in the marrages. Due to my up and downs, I could blow up in seconds. If i felt like I was backed into a corner , watch out. I would come out fight6ing, I pulled knifes on my husbands, I tried to burn one of then's house down. 

I had two abortions, in my lfe tiem, always feeling I killed to children. 

I did give birth to two son, that I ened up raising. But I was not a good mom, I was hard on them, I forced them to obey me. I never hit them very much, but I would scream at them. I feel I runed there childhood. 

I go to a shrink, am on medication, I take seroquel, zoloft. One for the voices in my head and the other for the depression. i still feel there is someone with me all the time, the evil, that walks beside me. 

 I am not like other people,  I put on a good face when someone talks to me, but inside, I know the truth. 

Patients suffering from Bipolar disorder face many difficult challenges. Share your story and get support from those who understand.”

http://www.drphil.com/messageboard/topic/254/msg/id/263477/#263477

I tend to agree, but there probably is not enough time in a 1 hour show to go through it all. As with any disease, there are different levels of severity. And not all who suffer have to have  all the symptoms - maybe just a few.

The 9 most used words in a bopolar's vocabulary are "it seemed like a good idea at the time". I don't know if he was manic or not, but a lot of bipolars become overly sexual when manic and it's very possible.

    II was finally diagnosed with bi-polar last year, after many years of being treated for anxiety, panic attacks, manic depression, etc.
    I am apalled at todays show of what b-polar is! Now when people find out I suffer from bi-polar they can picture me as an awful Mother, abusive, and hearing voices!
    I even had told me husband and Mom what the topic was going to be, that maybe I could learn something I didn't know! Well, yeah, boy did I!
    I learned that Cathy is a selfish woman who doesn't give a crap about others! If she did she would take her medication and have therapy!
    Before I got on the medications I take now, we had to go through trial and error. One made my tongue swell (effects about 1%), one made me start lactating (effects about 1%) and one made me gain 25 pounds but I stayed with it and went to a counsellor and physchiatrist!! But, for the love of my husband, children and anyone who deals with me, I stick with whatever can help me.
    I still suffer manic stages, depression, and am constantly tired, but I am a better person to be around when someone comes by. I still seldomly like to go out anywhere and refuse to go out alone.
    I am so sickened to think what people now think of us "crazy" people that live each day with bi-polar
    I sincerely hope Dr. Phil will do another show on bi-polar and people like me!

Your message compelled me to leave you a message. 

I know Western well.  Perhaps we have crossed paths at Vic. 

I am 42, female BP, in the Forest city.  

Your profile sounds like you are doing ok.  Every day is a struggle for me.  I progress ahead and then unexpectantly get knocked on my backside.  I too, want to have a better, more quality life.  It is so easy for others to say just set a goal, work towards it, and it will be completed.  

I must take life one day at a time.  After a year I can reflect and see progress.  And I think family needs to understand the difference between being supportive and being controlling.  

Best of luck to you. 

  

  

  

      I too have been diagnosed with bipolar as well as schizophrenia.  I was first diagnosed when I was twenty-four years old and I'm forty-four now.  Back in the mid eighties I was being over medicated with drugs like Thorazine and haldol.  I tried to commit suicide once because these drugs were taking away my creative abilities and turned me into a  zombie.  Because the doctors would not listen to me, I eventually learned to wean myself off them instead of going cold turkey.  For about twelve to thirteen years I remained off all anti-psychotic drugs, without incident.  

      But after my divorce, I started averaging about one psychotic episode per year.  In the past I had auditory hallucinations, as well as two or three visual -- the visual came only after the supposed medication.  I had probably the worst episode last year.  Although I have a BS and BA, I had the delusion that  I had earned a  doctorate in psychology for a theory in anomalepsy within my writings (I am a creative writer).  I took a five hour drive in two days to be interviewed for a position in which I thought I had obtained.  I ended up in jail for approximately 80 days for tresspassing then was hospitalized for two weeks after.  My delusions also include grandiose ideation such as I am famous or am super intelligent.  If I use a rare word in my writings, and I hear it soon afterwards on television or from friends or people around me, this may trigger an episode.   

      I feel as if I would have the same amount of episodes on or off these current drugs.  I almost lost my house on the last one, and I did lose my job.  I currently choose to remain on them because I don't want to upset the status quo.  I'm estranged from my family.  I haven't seen some family members in almost a year while they live within a thirty mile radius.  I don't wish to see them or be with them, nor do I believe they wish to be with me.  I don't call "take your medicine or we won't see you until you do" constructive or condusive to a relationship.  If I don't act or say the right things, I'm stabbed in the back or abandoned all together.  If I'm quiet or to myself around the family, then they're okay. 

    Fortunately, the drugs I'm currently taking have little to no side affects -- so that I can write. 

  

Hi there maxxy 96! 

After years of battling depression and anxiety (meds would work, then "stop"), my husband was finally diagnosed with bipolar disorder II back in December .  Since then, i have been reading everything and anything I can get my "eyes" on to learn about this disease so  I can do my best to get us both through it. This is a HORRIBLE disease that negatively impacts every aspect of the patient's life - especially the relationships with family and friends!  The most important thing you can do is learn as much about this illness as possible - for yourself as much as for your daughter.  And, learn about it from sources other than your daughter.  If she is in the middle of either a manic or depressive episode, or both, her thoughts will most likely be irrational and distorted and you will be more confused than ever.  Here's a list of some of the best sites I have found that offer info and support specifically to family members of bipolar patients...i have forwarded them to my own family and in-laws! (sorry if you already have all this!): 

•  One is www.nami.org - national alliance for the mentally ill.  They offer free classes in every state for both bipolar patients and their family.  they also have support groups you can join both in your area as well as online like this one.
• Another good one is www.dbsalliance.org - depression and bipolar support alliance.  Similar groups and support as nami
• The third one I like is www.healthyplace.com.  This site contains information for several mental illnesses, and if you follow the bipolar links and click support, there are 15-20 articles compiled discussing how to support a loved one.  They are really helpful!  like what to say or not to say to someone with bipolar, how to care for you while trying to help your daughter, that anger, denial, confusion, etc are all normal reactions to this terrible disease, etc.

From any of these sites, there are links to several other sites - hours and hours of reading.  Because everyone's symptoms are different, you will ultimately have to decide if your daughter is using her illness to take advantage of you.  And you definitely have to set boundries with her; nobody has to take abuse.  But there may be something you are saying or doing (unintentionally!!!) that makes her lash out at you.  

I hope this helped and wish you the very best!! 

 hi i was diagnosed when i was 19 with bi-polor. in a way i was lucky that i was diagnosed and it didn't take 8 to 10 which is sometimes how long it takes. my bi-polor is heridrity though both my father and grandfather were not diagnosed. my father commited suicide and i found him at the age of 12. this had a great deal to do with my bi-polor coming on at a younger age. in my earlier years it was alot worse than it is now. medications weren't as advanced as they are now. they had many more side affects. and i didn't stay on them like i was suppose to either. it is alot of trial and error getting the right ones. i get adjusted just about every two months. i have learned to just accept it now. life is much better now. being 43 years old is o.k. i have my good days and my not so good days. but, at least i know alot more about the illness. i know when i am in one mood or another. which years ago i didn't know. i don't feel embarrassed or ashamed any more. life is what you make of it. i make the best with what i have. life's been worse at times. and better too. thanks for your interest in my reply. corrine