Topic : 08/01 Extreme Highs and Lows

I was diagnosed Bipolar II in 2000 and recently switched meds from one that did nothing for me what-so-ever to a new one (not FDA approved, but then who cares about them) that has worked wonders for me.  I have not been hospitalized in over 5 years and am doing very well indeed. 

My biggest two hurdles are family and friends and money.  I never disclose that I have this illness because the first thing people think is that I am a raving lunatic about to ax murder them...which is not true at all.  This is how the media portrays us on the news and in films.  Family and friends that should know better will ask (and the kindly intent is there) every single day..."how are you today?"...or if I am happy about something, suddenly I am "manic"...or if I get the lest bit upset about my taxes or a news story...I'm manic...i can't have one single "normal" emotion...everything I do is "Bipolar this or Bipolar that"... 

The other part is money...I had my own business and that is now gone because nobody would insure me...I am now on disability and that is quite difficult to survive on...because i use to earn over $90,000 a year and I worked for 25 years I do OK by SSA but, it's still not a great deal and was recently turned down by Medicaid because it was too much...try getting meds on that...but I survive because that is what you must do...i just am glad there are others who understand...i wish Dr. Phil would do a show on some of these other issues...like not talking down to people...hate that...i have a 174 IQ...don't treat me like an idiot because I have a mental illness... 

A final note for anyone reading this...a book that might help... 

"The Bipolar Disorder, Survival Guide" David J. Miklowitz, PhD 

...this book has been amazingly helpful to me on all levels...thanks for listening everyone! 

I am not a doctor but I have used my share of meds and I know SEROQUEL is a heavy duty medication and It also causes major weight gain!  Ask your doctor about Trazadone.  

I would also commet on your decision to get pregnant . How long have you been stable? Why in the world would you ,with your disorder even think of having another baby to take care of?? I can understand why your psychiatrist is not too happy . I had 2 children and my son has ADHD (he is 20 now)  It took everything I had to raise him.  It was very difficult. What if one of your son's develops a disorder and becomes a challenging child? 

I would just like you to think about how you are going to handle taking care of your kids when you are Manic or in a major depression?  Who will be there for them? I am not sure how old your children are but throwing your life to wind and hoping for the best says to me you need to stay on your medication and forget having another baby just because YOU want a girl.?? 

  I am a daughter,sister,aunt and mother to those with the illness. I would say yes, it's in the genes! I have concern that the majority of the veiwers who don't have a clue about the illness go away with the impression that these are what all bipolar people are like. There is such a range, even in my own family. I would like to share a website that I found most helpful. It is by a man named David Moyer, author of "A Four Generation Bipolar Odyssey". He is a retired Lt. Col. of the U.S.Air Force a licensed social worker and a Board Certified Diplomate with a 28 year career as a therapist and mental health administrator. He's family has been touch by the illness, now 4 generations. He has done an amazing job with this book and the reseach into it. Rather then seeing it as a "mental disorder" he sees it as a central nervious disorder. He also explores a lot of other areas that affect the brain like lymes desease, foods,mercury ect. There are alot of things to consider, he also explores some alternative treatment. This book has been a blessing to me, hope you get one. dave@bipolarodyssey.com   May God Bless You All Mother M 

hey there - here are some good places to start reading about bipolar disorder: 

www.dbsalliance.org - depression and bipolar support alliance 

www.nami.org - national alliance for the mentally ill 

www.psycheducation.org - a Dr.'s site (Oregon) 

www.healthyplace.org - collection of information on several mental illnesses - the bipolar community has a support link with several articles for family members 

i think it is a great idea to learn as much as you can about bipolar and other mental illnesses.  As the "observer", you may identify symptoms and the triggers before your son does.  it may take quite awhile of trying different med combinations before finding the one that helps him the most.  But at least you will have some info and support as to what to do in the meantime (My husband was diagnosed in December with bipolar II disorder and we are in the "med" search as well).  hope you find some of this helpful!  :) 

I MYSELF AM ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS STORY - MY HUSBAND WAS ACTUALLY DIAGNOSESD WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER ALONG WITH A COUPLE OF OTHER THINGS!  WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED NOW FOR 13 YEARS - MISERABLE YEARS!  I NEW SOMETHING WASNT RIGHT EARLY ON, BUT WASNT SURE WHAT, BUT BY THE TIME I FIGURED IT OUT AND TRIED TO GET OUT, I ENDED UP PREGNANT, SO NOT HAVING A FATHER AROUND I MARRIED HIM TO TRY TO HAVE A FAMILY WITH OUR SON!  THERE WASNT A YEAR THAT WENT BY THAT I DIDNT WANT TO LEAVE AND WOULD TELL MY SELF, AFTER THE HOLIDAY , OKAY AFTER TBALL , AND SO ON AND SO ON UNTIL IT IS 13 YEARS LATER WITH ANOTHER CHILD.  WE HAVE GAINED NOTHING OVER THE YEARS BECAUSE OF HIS ILLNESS, THE SPUR OF THE MOMENT SPENDING SPREES, THE SEXUAL PROMISCUITY, ETC.  A FEW YEARS IN I TOLD HIM TO SEE  A DR OR I WAS LEAVING BECAUSE I HAD READ SOMETHING ABOUT THIS DIDORDER AND HE EVERY SYMPTOM -  SO HE HAS BEEN ON ZOLOFT FOR SEVERAL YEARS UNTIL HE HAD A TOTAL BREAKDOWN 2 YEARS AGO - PRIOR TO THAT HE WAS ABLE TO HOLD DOWN A JOB WITH THE POSTAL SERVICE FOR ALMOST 10 YEARS.  BUT IF I HAD LEFT HE WOULD HAVE QUIT WITHOUT EVEN THINKING TWICE ABOUT IT'!  I STRONGLY BELIEVE HE WANTS HIS FAMILY TOGETHER AND CANT STAND THE THOUGHT OF NOT HAVING IT, BUT I ALSO BELIEVE HE HONESTLY BACK THEN BELIEVED WHAT EVER HE TOLD HIMSELF AT THE TIME !  ALTHOUGH HE HAS NOT CHEATED ON IN OVER 4 YEARS I AQUIRED A HERPES FROM HIM LAST YEAR!  SINCE HE HAD HIS BREAKDOWN OVER 2 YRS AGO, HE IS CURRENLY ON RETIREMENT DISABILITY FROM THE POST OFFICE AND SOCIAL SECURITY DISABILITY!  HE HAS NOT HARDLY LEFT THE HOUSE - I CANT GET HIM OUT OF THE HOUSE - HE HAS NEVER HAD ANY KIND OF RELATIONSHIP WITH A FRIEND,  BUT WHEN HE DOES FIND SOMEONE - IT IS OVER WITH IN A FEW WEEKS - I FEEL LIKE HE HAS NOBODY, HIS DAD IS AN ALCHOLIC AND HIS MOTHER IS IN DENIAL AND VERY NEGATIVE AS HE IS.  I HAVE HIM SITUATED TO GO OUT ON HIS OWN I  JUST CANT GET HIM TO THERAPY!  I GOT HIM A BOAT, FOUR WHEELER - HIS TRUCK AND I JUST WANT OUT - OUR 13 YR OLD I PRAY DONT HAVE BP, BUT HE IS ACTING SO MUCH LIKE HIM - I HAVE TO SAVE HIM - THAT LIFE IS NOT SUPPOSE TO BE LIKE THIS - I WANT HIM TO KNOW WHAT A RELATIONSHIP IS ABOUT!  MY SON CANT HARDLY STAND HIM BUT HE DOESNT WANT ME TO LEAVE!  I FEEL LIKE I HAVE RAISED ANOTHER KID AND IT IS TIME FOR ME TO MOVE ON!  I AM NOW GOING TO NURSING SCHOOL AND PREPARING TO TAKE CARE OF ME AND MY KIDS, BUT HE CANT FACE IT OR DOESNT WANT TO!  NOW I WOULD LIKE FOR HIM TO FIND SOMEONE!   

JUST A NOTE EVERY TIME HE CHEATED HE HAD TOLD THEM A DIFFERENT STORY - BUT HE ALWAYS WANTED TO STAY AND THREATENED TO KILL HIMSELF AND HE IS ONE TO INVOLVE THE KIDS WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT THEM - AND I TRY SO HARD TO PROTECT THEM, I GUESS I FELT LIKE IF I STAYED I COULD PROTECT THEM BETTER THAN HAVING TO LET HIM HAVE THEM BY HIMSELF.  AND THEN AGAIN I KNEW IF HE HAD TO MAKE AN EFFORT TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS CHILDREN HE WOULDNT AND I DIDNT WANT MY KIDS TO FEEL LIKE I DID ABOUT MY DAD!  ANYWAY, I GUESS IM JUST SAYING ALTHOUGH SOME THINGS ARE DIFFERENT NOW, IF I HAD IT TO DO OVER I WOULD LET HIM SELF DESTRUCT AND LEFT AT THE FIRST SIGNS!  SORRY!  THAT IS JUST ME!  I KNOW EVERY SITUATION IS DIFFERENT!  GOD BLESS AND GOOD LUCK! 

I always knew I was different but I didn't know why.  I had severe mood swings as a teenager, with tons of energy at night.  I would wake up exhausted, like I had never slept.  I sought out a variety of psychs.  Depending on my mood at the consultation, that was what was focused on. 

I was misdiagnosed for years.  I was given medication to curtail the symptom displayed. 

Example, if I displayed excessive nervousness, I was given anti-anxiety medication.  My mood swings were never addressed.  And the medication did nothing to calm me down. 

In 1999, I was 36.  I had a breakdown and attempted suicide.  I was hospitalized and finally diagnosed with Bipolar.  I am very happy with my diagnosis.  Now I take the correct medication, see a psych regularly, and attend out-patient supprt groups when I start to slip. 

I am fortunate to live in a community in Canada that offers a variety of services from several mental health agencies. 

My family had nothing to do with helping me.  I left home at 18 and I never really had healthy relationships with either parent or sibling.  My mom wants to have more involvment in my life. When I am well, she nags at me to find work, date more, etc.  When I am not well she wants to speak to all my health care providers for more info.  (In Canada, she can't discuss my health with any doctor without my consent).  I find that she can be quite controlling so I keep her at arms length. 

I think family support is important, especially for young people.   But the family must take the time to understand the illness.  Each person with Bipolar is unique.  How we behave when we are not well can't be found in a pamphlet.   Family needs to offer encouragment but has to stop babying and/or thinking they know best.  Bipolars gain an illness, they don't lose their IQ. 

I hope this helps.  All the best, c_y_wallac