Living with bipolar disorder has been a living hell. It's not the disease so much that is the problem, but how family and society treat one that has this disorder. Living with this for years, I have been to therapy regulary, taken my meds as perscribed, gone to 12 Step programs as not to be involved in addictions (sober almost 20 years). I have never been in trouble with the law and there is one thing that a therapist advised that has never been forgotten. "You are responsible for your life and what you do."
There is help out there and even if a person can't pay for it...doors get slammed and one keeps on trying. What is sad is that there have been so many changes lately in Medicare/Medicaid programs that people with this disorder are being hospitalized because they can no longer afford their meds. In January I lost my Medicare/Medicaid and I did get another insurance policy to help me. There was only two weeks notice to do this. I felt relieved to have new insurance and that my meds could get paid for. In the process though, I went to where I normally have had therapy for the past six years and was told they do not accept that insurance. Now I have lost my therapist, Shrink, and a DBT program that I was involved in, all within a few moments. I was dismissed like a piece of garbage. No one cared...no one offered to find me any where else to go. Just C-YA! Being devastated I thought I could handle this. All my specialists were also gone with this new health insurance. I was blessed in getting a decent doctor. The thing is now I may lose my apartment due to me losing all of the above mentioned. It is unbelievable what we have to go through. I have lived alone for years, raised a son (who is also bi-polar) and did every thing that I was supposed to do and can't win. I live alone and my best friend is my dog. My God who can one trust?
What ticked me off about Dr. Phils show is he always has people on that have all of this family support. Fred for instance is forty and lives with his folks and and has a sister who loves him. My family could care less. My brother thinks I am a failure because I am too physically ill to work and have a mental illness to boot. My Mom is elderly and forgiven for not understanding the disease, but it is so hard to live like this. This dude "Fred" on Dr. Phil's show wants to live on his own? He has no idea how lucky he is to be in a home where he is loved. He needs to take his meds though and go to therapy as he is supposed to. Many families just dump people with bipolar disorder. They don't understand that it is an illness just as any other and is being considered as a seisure disorder. I have been in therapy for 30 years and have lived a spiritual life to get me through the worst parts. It has been a lonely and heart aching existence, but I survive. Survive...what a word.
I can't sleep tonight because I am wondering will I have to sleep in my car again...because of a government error...not mine. Taking responsibiliy is the most important thing we can do for ourselves with this serious disease, but I have to say it is not easy. I don't think the Dr. Phil show has really even begun to explore this. It's a shame instead they rather deal with the middle class or upper class Drama Queens like he had on todays show. Oh they are in debt....oh they spend too much money...oh she doesn't work....Oh puh-lease....GET A THERAPIST INSTEAD OF SPENDING 600 BUCKS ON YOURSELF AND THEN YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT CUTTING ON YOURSELF!
Let's see, yeah I cut on myself too....when there isn't enough food to eat, or I may lose my meds or I may have to live in the street again. Even though I am an author and artist (starving), I still have my integrity. I don't have to use any man to survive.
The good thing about this disorder is that most of us are very intelligent or creative people. The down side to that is if there is no way of getting help for this disease most of us either commit suicide or end up living in the streets without medication. We aren't the disease that people care about. We aren't the ones that there are tele-thons about. Many of us suffer. Some of us get along...in hell...but we suffer. I do hope that Dr. Phil does more shows on this illness. There are so many people in this country with this disorder---It's truly an epidemic. One that is hidden more in closests than any other disease out there. No one cares.
I try to tell myself that just because I have a book published and another coming out this year that I am worth something? Finally, in this bipolar life there has been an accomplishment? No because hell is always waiting, right around the corner.
Gate Angel
(Original Air Date: 03/07/06) Dr. Phil explores the ups and downs of bipolar disorder. This illness takes its victims on an emotional rollercoaster ride -- from elation to extreme irritability, intense rage, or devastating depression. First, Cathy was diagnosed with Bipolar II, 10 years ago and claims she goes from zero to psycho in 15 seconds. Dr. Phil takes a look at the toll her disorder takes on her two boys, and brings the family together for a dramatic moment of emotional healing. Then, during various manic episodes, Fred has stolen a taxi, crashed into a Starbucks, and climbed to the top of a church. He hears voices and believes that movie stars like Denzel Washington and Robert De Niro are talking to him through their movies. Still, Fred thinks he’s ready to move out of his parents’ house and live on his own for good … but should his family let him? Talk about the show here.
