Message Boards

Topic : 03/10 Follow-ups

Number of Replies: 137
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, March 03, 2006, 12:56:23 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

It's that time again! Dr. Phil checks in with past guests to see who has changed, and who's back for more! Marlon and Shamika are newlyweds who say their marriage has been on the rocks since the day they said "I do." They return for round three with Dr. Phil! After their last appearance, Marlon says Shamika was in such a rage, he feared she was going to pull a knife on him. They filed for divorce, but Shamika regrets it. Dr. Phil puts them through his divorce readiness test. Is Marlon ready to call it quits, or is he still in love with his wife? Then, remember the mom who wouldn’t let her daughter play with unattractive children? Has she changed her thinking? And, Jackie called herself a "monster mom" because she yelled at her overweight daughter, and called her ugly names like, "fat bitch" and "rotten witch," among others. Big changes are happening with this mother and daughter. Join the discussion.

 

Find out what happened on the show.

More March 2006 Show Boards.


As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

March 12, 2006, 7:00 am CST

i don't think you get it

Quote From: mrstim

You went way to the dark side with that thought.  I am not a horrid mother who will make my daughter feel bad about herself if she isn't on par with societal ideas of beauty.  She is the most beautiful person I have ever laid eyes on.  I just can't gaurantee she won't feel the sting of rejection during the hard social years of school, so my thought was just try to buffer her from them in the only way I knew how.  We do what we know, and if you listened to me on the show I said that while going through an ugly duckling phase in school my life dramatically improved when I was surrounded by beautiful friends.  I didn't get beatiful, that is evident after seeing me on tv, but I can tell you that I was and still am treated so much better by the company I keep.  Blame society for this, not me, I was only doing what I know.  But I also have the power to change and as a smart individual who listens to the advice of Dr. Phil this will not be a behavior of mine any more.  Don't feel sorry for my daughter, she doesn't even know what I do.  She still has a pure perception of other children and I won't do anything to change that.  Give me a break, I am not monster mom, just a stupid over loving mom. 

your daughter sees, and hears what you do and say.And she will look at other children and judge them as you do.She is the one to most likely hurt others,because she will judge them by what she learns from you.You think she doesn't know how you feel.You are living in a dream world. 

                                                                                             darellen 

 
March 12, 2006, 8:34 am CST

you still don't get it

Quote From: mrstim

You went way to the dark side with that thought.  I am not a horrid mother who will make my daughter feel bad about herself if she isn't on par with societal ideas of beauty.  She is the most beautiful person I have ever laid eyes on.  I just can't gaurantee she won't feel the sting of rejection during the hard social years of school, so my thought was just try to buffer her from them in the only way I knew how.  We do what we know, and if you listened to me on the show I said that while going through an ugly duckling phase in school my life dramatically improved when I was surrounded by beautiful friends.  I didn't get beatiful, that is evident after seeing me on tv, but I can tell you that I was and still am treated so much better by the company I keep.  Blame society for this, not me, I was only doing what I know.  But I also have the power to change and as a smart individual who listens to the advice of Dr. Phil this will not be a behavior of mine any more.  Don't feel sorry for my daughter, she doesn't even know what I do.  She still has a pure perception of other children and I won't do anything to change that.  Give me a break, I am not monster mom, just a stupid over loving mom. 

You are the one teaching your daughter how to treat others not society.Your daughter will judge others as you do.If you think she doesn't know how you feel and how you judge others on how they look.You are living in a dream world.Its not me looking on the dark side,because I don't judge anyone.I treat people how I want to be treated.Do your daughter a favor and teach her its how she feels about herself not by what others say about her.  

                                                                            darellen 

 
March 12, 2006, 12:11 pm CST

you don't get it

Quote From: darellen

You are the one teaching your daughter how to treat others not society.Your daughter will judge others as you do.If you think she doesn't know how you feel and how you judge others on how they look.You are living in a dream world.Its not me looking on the dark side,because I don't judge anyone.I treat people how I want to be treated.Do your daughter a favor and teach her its how she feels about herself not by what others say about her.  

                                                                            darellen 

You say you don't judge me, but you have and harshly I might add.  My story was not told well enough.  It pains me that you think I am an awful mother.  I am a mother with no sense of how to teach good self esteem, I work on it everyday by surrounding myself with people who will teach me well by example so I can pass that onto my children.  This was one story that has taken on a monster life of its own that I regret sharing now as you don't seem to want to understand that I know what I do is wrong and that I am changing it and you are being cruel and self righteous.  I am glad you are perfect and will raise perfect children,  God bless you, but cut me some slack, I am learning at as fast a rate as I can to be a good mom and the start of it is recognizing the errors of my ways and making changes when needed.  I was asked to share my story so that others who may be doing the same thing can see the errors of their ways and hopefully make changes within themselves, I was told I would be helping, instead I am being treated the way that made me this way in the first place.  Judging me by one act not on my whole character.  If you say you treat others as you want to be treated then I say to you as you said to me, you don't get it.  I am trying, now you try to.  This hurts so much I can't believe I ever did this.  I would like the opportunity to talk to you further and welcome you to e-mail me at mrstim93@aol.com.  Maybe you could be a helpful influence on me and not just a hurtful one. 
 
March 12, 2006, 12:32 pm CST

03/10 Follow-ups

Quote From: mrstim

You went way to the dark side with that thought.  I am not a horrid mother who will make my daughter feel bad about herself if she isn't on par with societal ideas of beauty.  She is the most beautiful person I have ever laid eyes on.  I just can't gaurantee she won't feel the sting of rejection during the hard social years of school, so my thought was just try to buffer her from them in the only way I knew how.  We do what we know, and if you listened to me on the show I said that while going through an ugly duckling phase in school my life dramatically improved when I was surrounded by beautiful friends.  I didn't get beatiful, that is evident after seeing me on tv, but I can tell you that I was and still am treated so much better by the company I keep.  Blame society for this, not me, I was only doing what I know.  But I also have the power to change and as a smart individual who listens to the advice of Dr. Phil this will not be a behavior of mine any more.  Don't feel sorry for my daughter, she doesn't even know what I do.  She still has a pure perception of other children and I won't do anything to change that.  Give me a break, I am not monster mom, just a stupid over loving mom. 

I remember being teased and bullied as a child sometimes.  What I remember most is the friends I had who stood up for me and loved me in spite of me not dressing fashionable (mostly hand-me-downs-there were 7 kids in my family) and being less than gorgeous.  I think that was good early learning.  I learned clearly that the people who matter don't give a hoot about what I look like and how I dress. 

  

My daughter is luckier than I. At 13, she really is beautiful and we are fairly well off and have only two children so she is usually dressed fashionably (I won't say nice, because what these kids wear isn't always pretty).  She is an honours student and very talented in many ways.  But the most proud I have ever been of her was when I heard her defend her friend that isn't bright and pretty.  She had a big sleep over and a group of popular girls cornered her in the kitchen to ask why she invited "HER".  I was just going to intervene when I overheard my daughter said "because she's my friend and she's great!"  

  

THAT was priceless! 

 
March 12, 2006, 2:37 pm CST

Mom with pretty friends

Quote From: mrstim

I know I came off so horribly on Dr. Phil's show about letting my child play only with the pretty kids.  This show was a follow up to show that Dr. Phil helped me to see the error of my ways and that I am doing better.  The thing to please remember is that we do what we know, and in my experience my life was and is much improved when I am surrounded by my pretty friends.  I am sorry to say it simply is true.  One person said I am no prize--bingo.  I am treated like I am a ghost in most situations, but when I am with my pretty friends I am treated dramatically better and so unfortuanetly this is what I know.  In an effort to protect my daughter from the hurt I had to deal with in school that unfortunately effects my greatly to this day (self esteem issues) I just thought in my feeble mind that if I surrounded her by the "beautiful" people I could save her from the hurt that can come when you are an outcast because of your looks.  Believe me when I say I know this is wrong and I won't do it again, just know it comes from a mom who would do anything no matter how rediculous to protect my daughter from harm.  I do enjoy very much watching her with kids and seeing how a child can look at others with such a pure perception.  She has no preconcieved predjudice or social bias and she will be my greatest teacher in life if I just sit back and watch her.  I said that on the show but unfortuantely it was edited out.  So please don't judge my to harshly, I was doing what I know, and now that I know it, I can change it.  

Have you ever considered how you change how you feel about things when you hang out with your pretty friends?  Perhaps way back when (whatever it was) things just came together better when you happened to be hanging with a more above average group?  Maybe they were just nicer friends and it had nothing to do with their looks whatsoever. 

  

I'm 47 and have learned looks have NOTHING to do with happiness in life.  Ask Dana Reeve this week.  She was georgous.  Things won't be made better by any trappings, lost weight or just more attractive hair.  It's ALL about what is inside.  And it's obvious that something went down that shaded your views in a harmful manner. 

  

If you don't fix it totally and stop judging others (when I suspect you are more prone to judging yourself too harshly - you're not ugly!!!) then you yourself will never be happy.   I believe that's what is the biggest issue here. 

 
March 12, 2006, 3:14 pm CST

Message to Jacki's daughter . . . .

You are BEAUTIFUL.  I look at that face and I assure you you're stunning.  It's not about that though.  You have that something else that is just what it needs to be.  I know it's been hard for you and I want you to know something . . . YOU ARE GOING TO SHINE SOMEDAY!!!  Yours will be for a long time and some of those you envy currently will burn out quickly you will see. 

  

This very thing happened to me.  It is happening with my own daughter that has fought some tough weight  issues since early on.  I tell her this all the time because I know it to be true.  I have seen it a lot.   The kids are SO cruel I can't imagine how your mom can say what she does, but I hope you realise that is her problem and honestly has nothing to do with you.  Make peace with who she is and try your hardest to not let it affect how you see yourself. 

  

Because of your rough road you will have great empathy, kindness, wisdom, and many other admirable traits.  This will make you the entire package.  I'm not so sure it's not a gift by the time it's said and done.  I frequently think I'm perhaps a much better person due to all the suffering?  Somehow I know I'd have a bad attitude had I not gone thru what I did.   At this age since I've had to learn how to diet since birth I'm thinner than most of my friends.  The ones that never had to think about it all those years in school.  Go figure. 

  

Keep the faith.  :) 

 
March 12, 2006, 3:19 pm CST

Understanding

 I left the 'emote' button blank b/c I seem to be feeling all that is listed at the moment. I record Dr. Phil during the week and just watched this follow up today. The first time I watched Marlon & Shamika I completely felt for Shamika - basically being ripped out of everything she knew to live with her husband. The second show I started feeling for Marlon; it did seem that he was changing, or willing to learn different things to keep his marriage but then Shamika was kind of painted in a bad light. Not really getting her real frustration level. The third show I realized watching their relatioship was liking watching parts of mine. My boyfriend and I live together, no kids. I am the one open and free with my emotions when he tends to gets frustrated and even indignant when I start to tap into them. He seems to expect affection from me, but when I really need him to get behind me and support me he turns it around and claims I'm not doing enough for him to *want* to show any affection toward me. I started to completely "unplug" as Dr. Phil would say. He just bought 'Relationship Rescue' but I'm the one reading it. Sometimes I feel that only someone like Dr. Phil would be able to get through to people like Shamika and my b/f. Please Shamika - keep telling Marlon how you truely feel. Please stop telling him only the things he does wrong. He loves you.
 
March 12, 2006, 3:37 pm CST

03/10 Follow-ups

Quote From: judyblue22

I remember being teased and bullied as a child sometimes.  What I remember most is the friends I had who stood up for me and loved me in spite of me not dressing fashionable (mostly hand-me-downs-there were 7 kids in my family) and being less than gorgeous.  I think that was good early learning.  I learned clearly that the people who matter don't give a hoot about what I look like and how I dress. 

  

My daughter is luckier than I. At 13, she really is beautiful and we are fairly well off and have only two children so she is usually dressed fashionably (I won't say nice, because what these kids wear isn't always pretty).  She is an honours student and very talented in many ways.  But the most proud I have ever been of her was when I heard her defend her friend that isn't bright and pretty.  She had a big sleep over and a group of popular girls cornered her in the kitchen to ask why she invited "HER".  I was just going to intervene when I overheard my daughter said "because she's my friend and she's great!"  

  

THAT was priceless! 

You must be very proud of the young lady you have raised. She is a tribute to you.
 
March 12, 2006, 3:37 pm CST

Thank you, Michelle.

Quote From: mrstim

You say you don't judge me, but you have and harshly I might add.  My story was not told well enough.  It pains me that you think I am an awful mother.  I am a mother with no sense of how to teach good self esteem, I work on it everyday by surrounding myself with people who will teach me well by example so I can pass that onto my children.  This was one story that has taken on a monster life of its own that I regret sharing now as you don't seem to want to understand that I know what I do is wrong and that I am changing it and you are being cruel and self righteous.  I am glad you are perfect and will raise perfect children,  God bless you, but cut me some slack, I am learning at as fast a rate as I can to be a good mom and the start of it is recognizing the errors of my ways and making changes when needed.  I was asked to share my story so that others who may be doing the same thing can see the errors of their ways and hopefully make changes within themselves, I was told I would be helping, instead I am being treated the way that made me this way in the first place.  Judging me by one act not on my whole character.  If you say you treat others as you want to be treated then I say to you as you said to me, you don't get it.  I am trying, now you try to.  This hurts so much I can't believe I ever did this.  I would like the opportunity to talk to you further and welcome you to e-mail me at mrstim93@aol.com.  Maybe you could be a helpful influence on me and not just a hurtful one. 
I would like to tell you that yes, I was put off by your first appearance. I'm not one to pretend to know why Dr. Phil does or says the things he does. I would like to guess that he didn't jump to stating how well intentioned you are due to you trying to justify your behaviour. The second show you came across as knowing how hurtful you were being not only to other children, but to your daughter as well. Seemingly, this was the time you became well intentioned. The show is only an hour and I believe that if your first show was three hours the finished version that aired would possibly have shown that real light-bulb moment. I thank you for coming back for a second taping. As people are surely judging you on this board please do not take it all to heart. Reading your posts, I felt the need to tell you I believe you. I wish you well in your healing. Namaste.
 
March 12, 2006, 5:06 pm CST

where's marty & aaron

  I would like to see a followup on the first family with Marty , Aaron and the two daughters and baby. 

  I also would like to see a followup on the man in jail who won't devulge info on where his children  

  are. 

  

   

 
First | Prev | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | Next | Last