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Topic : 03/10 Follow-ups

Number of Replies: 137
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Created on : Friday, March 03, 2006, 12:56:23 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

It's that time again! Dr. Phil checks in with past guests to see who has changed, and who's back for more! Marlon and Shamika are newlyweds who say their marriage has been on the rocks since the day they said "I do." They return for round three with Dr. Phil! After their last appearance, Marlon says Shamika was in such a rage, he feared she was going to pull a knife on him. They filed for divorce, but Shamika regrets it. Dr. Phil puts them through his divorce readiness test. Is Marlon ready to call it quits, or is he still in love with his wife? Then, remember the mom who wouldn’t let her daughter play with unattractive children? Has she changed her thinking? And, Jackie called herself a "monster mom" because she yelled at her overweight daughter, and called her ugly names like, "fat bitch" and "rotten witch," among others. Big changes are happening with this mother and daughter. Join the discussion.

 

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March 10, 2006, 5:44 pm CST

Metabolism

Quote From: sallysings

Hello, 

At the end of today's show (3/10) Dr. Phil mentioned a book title.....something about "Making Your Metabolism"...... Something like that. It was in response to the mother and daughter who recently lost weight together. Does anyone remember the book title and the author? Sounds like a great book! 

Thanks! 

Sally 

  

Related Resource

 

Make Over Your Metabolism: 4 Weeks to a Faster Metabolism and a Fitter, Firmer You
by Robert Reames 

 
March 10, 2006, 5:47 pm CST

MARLON...DON'T STOP NOW!!!!!

just got thru watching the 3rd show with marlon & shamika.  she finally realizes what she's lost..and hopefully for good.  too many good women are looking for a good man.  so what he career goals and dreams..would she rather him be sitting on a bar stool every day?  or out chasing skirts every nite?  I have met and still know many women like shamika and they never change. will all be peaches and cream for a minute, but then back to the same old self-centered, high strung princess ways.  Marlon, if you ever read this...holla at me.  Not only do i know many women like shamika..but i also know many ladies, including myself...who know how to treat a man like yourself.  let me have a chance at a man like marlon...you'll never see me whining on Dr. Phil.    

  

move on Marlon...don't waste any more of your time with this ungrateful, never to be happy woman.  I am just disappointed Dr. Phil gave her a "boo-hoo" poor Shamika excuse for being such a cold person.  So what if she came from a family who didn't show their emotions...a true woman knows how to show her emotions...what she feels.  Give me a hoopty car and a beautiful man like Marlon any day!!!!! 

 
March 10, 2006, 5:49 pm CST

Walls

  I, too, am familiar with 'walls'.  Those that others have as well as my own.  I am glad for Marlon and Shamika that the reality of hers has come out.  Usually it 'takes one to know one' so to speak.  Marlon saw past those walls to begin with, but I don't know that he has any?  But he saw past hers.  And I know from experience it is very 'dangerous' to look past those walls, muchless 'see' what is behind them...for often times the 'real' person/ the 'true' person behind those walls if they come out to you...can melt the strongest of us.  Shamika is that way...at least to Marlon.  I can see some of what he sees, too.  And like Marlon I have been 'driven' away but it was because of past abuse, years of it on her part.  Just like Dr. Phil said...they reject first to avoid their fear of rejection and sometimes on the weakest of excuses.  And they do hide their hurt afterwards, make excuses to themselves...but deep inside they have the worst of pain and fear...hopelessness and confusion.   

  I do hope these two people can tear down completely the walls that Shamika has and any he may have as well.  I think Dr. Phil is right...theirs can be one of 'those' relationships...and I wish that for them.  I will give it to Marlon though.  He is a strong man, too, cause if I had to stand that close to one of 'her smiles'...well I just couldn't.  When she smiles....that is the 'real' her and she is beautiful.  Too, I think she can 'see' what Marlon has seen for them and wants.  He's not afraid of it, but because of her past and her walls she is afraid...that she's not good enough, it's not real, it is undeserved, etc.  Tear down those walls, it is real...go for it and most important of all......enjoy it for the rest of your lives. 

 
March 10, 2006, 6:24 pm CST

People can change!

Quote From: cookiehart

just got thru watching the 3rd show with marlon & shamika.  she finally realizes what she's lost..and hopefully for good.  too many good women are looking for a good man.  so what he career goals and dreams..would she rather him be sitting on a bar stool every day?  or out chasing skirts every nite?  I have met and still know many women like shamika and they never change. will all be peaches and cream for a minute, but then back to the same old self-centered, high strung princess ways.  Marlon, if you ever read this...holla at me.  Not only do i know many women like shamika..but i also know many ladies, including myself...who know how to treat a man like yourself.  let me have a chance at a man like marlon...you'll never see me whining on Dr. Phil.    

  

move on Marlon...don't waste any more of your time with this ungrateful, never to be happy woman.  I am just disappointed Dr. Phil gave her a "boo-hoo" poor Shamika excuse for being such a cold person.  So what if she came from a family who didn't show their emotions...a true woman knows how to show her emotions...what she feels.  Give me a hoopty car and a beautiful man like Marlon any day!!!!! 

You may be right, or you may be wrong, but I support Marlon giving Shamika another chance!! 

  

I've been married for nearly 20 years. Both my husband and myself were selfish babies for the first 8 years of our marriage; and we BOTH had a lot of changes to make in order to make our marriage work. And after 20 years, we're still working on our relationship.  

  

I almost filed for divorce after 8 years of marriage because I just couldn't take it any more, but after 7 months of being separated we got back together because we couldn't stand being apart, and because we knew we loved each other. Sometimes it takes being without the other person to see how much they matter to you. 

  

My husband worked VERY to win me back, and I decided to give him one more try. He hasn't been perfect - and I'm certainly not perfect, but that isn't what's important. Loving each other is, and that's what I see in this precious couple - love. 

 
March 10, 2006, 8:01 pm CST

Shamika, Shamika, Shamika

I think Shamika got the shock of her life when Marlon said he was divorcing her.  I think this was a wake up call for her and I honestly was very happy to see her shed some tears.  I think she is closed off emotionally and she knows no other way to treat people then to be a bitch.  I had a very good friend who was just like Shamika in the cold/bitchy department.  Needless to say  I ended the friendship two weeks ago and have not looked back. Just like  Marlon, I could no longer take the bitchiness or the sense of entitlement that my friend had about everything. She treated others terribly and I saw it but it was not until she started treating me the same way did I take a good hard look at this person I called friend. I can pick my friends but a friendship and a marriage with children involved are two different things.  I think Marlon should put the divorce on hold for a trial period and go through the therapy that Dr. Phil has in mind.  Maybe Shamika can change and see the value of having emotions and  what a wonderful life she can have as Marlon's wife.  Marlon is not perfect but he has a heart and it is full of love for Shamika and their kids.  If Shamika does not change she will lose what has probably been the best thing to happen to her besides her kids. 
 
March 10, 2006, 8:08 pm CST

The beautiful people....

Quote From: txrn6887

  

I was in total shock at the Mom who would only let her small child play with children that she thought was attractive.  I have two children my daughter who is my youngest is now 16 years old and a sophmore in high school.  We have always lived in a upper middle class neighborhood.  My daughter attends school with children from the most wealthy and elite families in the city.  When she was in kindergarten she became friends with several of these children (they were the "beautiful people").  There were about 7 girls in this little group.  They were the brightest, most athletic, and outgoing group of kids in the school.  These girls remained friends thier entire elementary and middleschool years.  As highschool approached my husband and I begin to have some financial trouble due to the changing economy (his job primarily in retail car sales).  We had to sell our home and downsize, although our "new" home was in the same school district.  The other 6 girls in this "elite" group decided that my daughter was not in pretty enough, or her parents did not make enough money for  them to associate with.  So my daughter in 8th grade was faced with entering highschool without the friends she had since beginning school.  She was devastated.  At that time I was not sure what God's purpose was in "hurting" her this way.....Well 2 years into highschool I now know.  She has made new friends, she is 16 years old and the only thing she has done with a boy is hold hands.  She has made a promise to God that she will remain sexually pure until marriage.  She has a great new group of friends that share her same beliefs.  Yes she still goes to school with the beatiful people.  This group of girls are still popular and bright, but they have some worries of thier own, pregnancy, drugs, and alcohol are just a few.  So I think God everyday that my daughter is  no longer one of the "beautiful people" 

  

  

  

The mother said it herself.  She was so hurt by rejection in her youth because she was not one of the beautiful or cool kids, that she is determined not to let her daughter experience this hurt.  As she also said, she is misguided.  Thank God her daughter is too young to realize what has been going on.  Rating people's worth on the basis of looks is so shallow and immature.  I was married to a gorgeous man who was not only a catalog model but a competitive bodybuilder.  I had to beat the women off him.  After six years of putting up with his self absorption, laziness, infidelity, and, and addictions (sex, grugs, alcohol, steroids), I kicked him to the curb.  My current husband is no looker, but he is the most generous and loving man I have ever known.  I have no regrets.
 
March 10, 2006, 8:13 pm CST

Shamika and Marlon

Quote From: ineka23

  

 I think that Shamika is ungrateful, a real b*%$h and just thinks of herself. On the other hand, Marlon said he was turned on by her feisty attitude. Sometimes men like women who will treat them like crap, but I think this time around Marlon had enough. I wish Dr. Phil didn't try to save the relationship b/c I think Marlon deserves way better. Shamika needs to realize that their are plenty women such as myself who are attracted to Marlon and she just lost a good thing. Marlon if you read this post, PLEASE give me a holla!!!!! 

I agree.  I was surprised at the tremendous sense of humor that this man has.  I would think that that would be a very endearing quality.  On the other hand, I saw no humor at all in Shamika and perhaps that is the problem.  They are just too different.  Should they divorce?  I really don't know, but I think that Marlon could find someone who is better suited to him.
 
March 10, 2006, 8:29 pm CST

Beauty and the beast...

Quote From: meechiko

How could someone possibly think that good looks equal success!!!??? 

  

Thank you DR PHIL for pointing out the insecurities of people in vanity based professions.  I work with superstar recording artists and learned early on that these are the most insecure people you will ever encounter. 

  

Also, what about the ugly duckling that grows into the swan?  How does that fit into her idiotic concepts... 

  

Wow.  So sad. 

Actually there is some truth to the belief that more attractive people are perceived to be more intelligent, successful, kinder, and credible.  Research studies have proven that.  Hell, even you name can create a perception of your attractiveness in the mind of others.  I remember a study where beautiful women's pictures were shown to college age men and they were asked to rate their attractiveness.  When told the woman's name was something like Ethel or Harriet (beautiful names, but not in voque), the women were rated as less attractive than when they were given names like Michelle or Brandy.  Apparently this perception that attractive people are preferable is pervasive across all cultures. 

  

Although being more attractive may get you a few breaks in life, it doesn't help you to cope with life.  Developing character and talents that will carry you through life's trials and tribulations will open doors for you long after the beauty fades.    

 
March 10, 2006, 8:44 pm CST

03/10 Follow-ups

Quote From: littlepigs

I agree.  I was surprised at the tremendous sense of humor that this man has.  I would think that that would be a very endearing quality.  On the other hand, I saw no humor at all in Shamika and perhaps that is the problem.  They are just too different.  Should they divorce?  I really don't know, but I think that Marlon could find someone who is better suited to him.
I think that until you walk in Shamika's shoes, you don't know. I wish for them great happiness. I hope that Marion comes to sypathize with Shamika's issues and I hope that she gets help to make a huge change. Life is too short. And I wish all the comments I just read could be more positive. If everyone could be more positive this world would be a better place.
 
March 10, 2006, 9:22 pm CST

Shamika's issue

Quote From: chandra72

I think that until you walk in Shamika's shoes, you don't know. I wish for them great happiness. I hope that Marion comes to sypathize with Shamika's issues and I hope that she gets help to make a huge change. Life is too short. And I wish all the comments I just read could be more positive. If everyone could be more positive this world would be a better place.

I agree...you never know what's going on behind doors.....BUT I do see that Marlon has suh a great personality, hard to avoid to fall in love with a man like that, so I'm not sure what's in Shamika's mind letting this guy go!!!!! That's probably why she regret signind the divorce papers : ) 

  

 
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