Message Boards

Topic : 09/01 Slave to My Spouse

Number of Replies: 394
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, March 17, 2006, 01:30:32 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 03/20/06) Do you constantly have to compromise to get along with your mate? Do you feel like you have to give up a vital part of yourself to be in a relationship? Dr. Phil talks to controlling guests and the loved ones who feel trapped by them. Jeffrey hates that his wife of seven months, Mindy, goes out clubbing with her younger friends, who he says are a bad influence on her. Mindy leaves the kids with Jeffrey's 16-year-old daughter and parties until 6:00 a.m., while he works the night shift. Mindy calls Jeffrey “a warden,” and says if he had his way, she’d never leave the house. Then, Jason claims his wife, Terrie, is lazy. He says he has to clean the house, do chores, take care of the kids and balance two checkbooks! Terrie says her large chest and arthritis prevent her from doing household tasks. Is Terrie making excuses not to clean up her act? Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

More September 2006 Show Boards.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

March 20, 2006, 12:53 pm CST

sick-

Uh,  why is this woman allowed to keep her kids?  They have snatched children out of homes for less than snorting coke while their children are in the next room!!   

And why is it such a foreign concept for people to go out and have fun with their husbands?  You can still feel sexy without being a slut!  You're screwing with men's minds when you pull crap like that!  Don't have the nerve to be suprised when your husband is jealous.  She's defensive because she's guilty.  We all went to high school, we know what happens to stupid drunk girls.  Why can't she be a good friend/role model to her girlfriend (24 yrs old and has a very empty, sad life it seems).  She kind of seems like the friend that will leave you in the bathroom throwing up with your skirt pulled up over your head if something more fun comes along.     

 
March 20, 2006, 12:54 pm CST

Terrie from today's show

I laughed so hard when I heard Terrie's excuse for not helping with the house work.......her breasts are too big. She says she's an F, well, I'm an H AND I'm 6 months pregnant and I STILL do my housework. What an awful excuse! My breasts have never gotten in the way of dishes, or mopping, or scrubbing the tub. Perhaps you should consider losing weight or even have reduction surgery if it's hindering you from living a normal life., Terrie. Otherwise, suck it up and help around the house. You help  make the mess, you should certainly help clean it up. GROW UP! 

 
March 20, 2006, 12:56 pm CST

Are these Guy's Nut's?

I do believe that the guy's here need their heads examined!!!! A marriage is a 50-50 deal and it seems to me that in these to marriages that isn't the case. The first guy's wife just wants to party, do drugs and have fun....The second guy I think his wife is just "Plain" lazy making up excuses that sound good to her. What he needs to do is just let the house go sooner or later she will get off her big fat lazy butt and clean it. As far as her size "F" Chest get a reduction if that's the problem but I really doubt it. Wake up you two guy's life is short and you deserve better.
 
March 20, 2006, 12:56 pm CST

concerned

I have been watching the show & I concerned with the first guest in the show. The reason being is I am in recovery & stopping on your own is a bunch of Crap. I have been active in Recovery fo almost 5 years (by the grace of GOD) & I have been taught STAY AWAY !!!!!! from wet places & wet faces. I had to do a major life style change in order to get relief from drugs & (king)alchohol. Meetings,Meetings, Meetings Get a Sponsor & ask for help are just a few of the tools I have learned. Going to bars & using are not oart of the deal, I fight with everything I have to keep this in mind. I listened to her & what I heard was denial about a addiction she knows she has not to mention she is pointing the finger at heer husband to justify her partying....... I really need to say , GIRL YOU NEED TO GET HELP & TAKE RESPONSIBILTY FOR YOUR ACTIONS. I have my eyes wide open & you can't hide the obvious truth from anyone who has been there. Conact me if U have the desire to stop using & drinking.  remember a drug is a drug for any addict!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
March 20, 2006, 12:59 pm CST

Hello?!!

I have to wonder if Dr. Phil was actually hearing what these women were saying.  If you ask me he was way too easy on them.  Yea, the husbands had some issues of their own I don't deny that, but I just don't think he was hearing what they were really saying. 

  

We all need time for ourselves. I'm a stay at home mom with a 3 year old and 15 month old twins, plus a part-time job at night where I work from 7pm to 1am.    I need some time to myself, but I never stay out until 6:00am and I certainly don't do drugs.  I don't understand why Dr. Phil just let that all slip by.  That's huge to me. Doing drugs and partying all night sounds like someone who needs a lot more help than just a little counseling. 

  

And then this women who can't ever clean or help with the kids....I just didn't get that.    Arthritis ok, but there are medications you can take to help it. You don't just have to suffer.  However,  she won't get surgery for her chest because she wants to have another child. WHY??? So she have her husband take care of that one too?? I understand why the husband wouldn't want another child. He's doing everything already, that's just more work for him.  

  

 I just cannot believe she can't put a dish in the dishwasher,  wipe down a kitchen counter, or throw a load of laundry in. Dr. Phil was just too understanding with this, I think she created most of the tension in the house that in turn leads to her husband's behavior.She just cannot be that helpless. 

 
March 20, 2006, 1:00 pm CST

I disagree - slightly

Quote From: jwthompson

Mindy SERIOUSLY needs to grow up.  I'm 31 - got married when I was 22.  I stay at home, take care of my house and kids and my husband.  Party time is OVER lady!!!!  You have responsibilities now.  If you don't care about your husband enough to stop what you're doing, care enough about your children!!!

Party time is not over just because one marries and has children.  If one believes that party time is OVER once marrige and kids are part of  their life, then what kind of life do they have. 

  

Sure I think that responsibilities need to happen once marriage and kids come along, but adults need a life too.     She does need to tone down her partying and take responsibility for her actions and whatnot, but again to completely cut out a "fun" time partying No that is where i totally disagree.   

  

My aunt, for example is in her mid-forties, married (21 years) and has two children (11 & 14)  She and her husband work full time and they share responsibilities pertaining to the children's needs Ie - taking them to hockey etc.   

  

On the other hand, my aunt has her time when she goes out with friends and has a good time partying.   

  

LIFE AND PARTYING DOES NOT STOP BECAUSE YOU GET MARRIED.  

  

That is where i stand in the matter. 

  

 
March 20, 2006, 1:00 pm CST

underlying problems

 I am a large breasted woman also, and I have three kids with one on the way.  I know what she is going through because I've been through it too.  Alot longer. My husband is still verbally abusive and I have tried every trick in the book to handle it, including the one she's doing. "Why Bother?" approach makes it worst.  He'll end up rebelling worst. If anything , get verbal again , probably saying things he'll regret, but he'll never admit it , because this is a game and nobody will win. In the long run, the kids are going to suffer. I feel sorry for that family, only because of expirence. 

 
March 20, 2006, 1:03 pm CST

Wow, I found myself rooting for the husbands!

I wondered why Dr. Phil didn't ask the second wife WHY does she want another child?  She doesn't seem to have any interest in the ones she has now....much less interest in anything.  When she commented that she didn't want to have breast reduction because the desire for another baby....I about fell out of my chair!   

  

Both of the women in this segment really bothered me.  No one is perfect....themselves included.  They should count their blessings that they've found someone that appears to love them... 

  

Like Dr. Phil says, a relationship isn't 50/50....it's 100/100!  The women, in my opinion, need to get real, grow up and realize what they have....ESPECIALLY children.  What an example they're setting for them.... 

 
March 20, 2006, 1:06 pm CST

come on ..GET REAL

I will keep this short. The first couple, Your wife doesn't love you, or isn't in love with you. I used to be her( minus the coke bit). I was in a relationship too and had more fun out with my friends and partying at the bars and was always happier when he was not around. The sooner you get out of there, the better your life will be. I am surprized Dr. Phil would waste his time and money on counselling for those 2. At the end of the show she seemed really thrilled to be trying to work out the problems. She could care less.its so obvious. Any woman who WANTS to go to bars and flirt like that is not in love with their husband. end of story. its that simple!!! GET OUT, leave the lady, take the kids and enjoy your life without her. You will not regret that decision. There is more woman out there who want to spend time with their man and wnat to make their marraige a happy one. Its all about HER... 
 
March 20, 2006, 1:10 pm CST

Did anybody watch this show?

I've read all these posts saying she shouldn't be out partying all the time and she needs to think of her kids and take care of her house and her kids, etc. It was established on the show that she only goes out once or twice a month and the rest of the time she is at home taking care of her kids, doing the housework, cooking dinner, doing the laundry, helping kids with homework, etc. This is hardly a woman who doesn't care about her kids. Now, I do agree she could make better choices regarding what she does with her free time but she is absolutely entitled to that free time. Being a wife and mother does not mean that you have to be at home all the time. Some women more than others need to maintain their independence and sense of freedom. Some women do not subscribe to the belief that being married means sitting at home taking care of everybody else all the time and never yourself. Again, I am not condoning her choice of activity but I just don't agree with the way some people are painting her to be this woman who just takes off and abandons her family all the time because that simply is not the case.
As far as the other couple on the show... I have to say I don't agree with one partner doing everything in the house- especially when both partners have jobs outside the household duties. However, it does bother me to no end how men get away with this crap all the time while women are vilified for the exact same thing. So many people think nothing of a woman who works full time outside the home who then comes home and takes care of the kids alone, does all the household chores, does all the laundry, does all the cooking, does all the bill paying, does all the grocery shopping, and all the while her husband comes home from work and sits on his butt. Then, when these same people see a husband who works, takes care of the kids & takes care of the domestic duties and has a wife who works full time but doesn't help at home, they act as though she is a monster and he is a saint. It is not right in either situation. Being married means being partners. Now, with this woman, I can certainly understand where she's coming from. If my husband talked to me and called me names like this man did to his wife, I wouldn't be feeling very helpful towards him, either. I certainly wouldn't be doing things he "told" me to do. But that's me. I have a problem with anyone in a marriage telling the other one what to do. Again, I think it's about partnership. You work together for the benefit of the whole family. And you never try to parent your spouse - even if they do act like a child sometime. lol  Just my two cents.
 
First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Next | Last