Quote From: terriebeeHi, this is THE Terrie, the lazy housewife.
What I have seen on here so far is about 30% saying "hey, she isnt so bad." Another 60% have used my story to boost up their own egos with such things as "I have largER breasts and I do this this and this." Well, those of you who do that are probably large breasted because you are overweight and those boobs are all fat and the rest of your body is fat enough to support the extra weight on the front. I AM SKINNY, with a skinny bank and these big ol boobs, so yes I have a better excuse than you.
The other small percent said nothing about their own boobs and just called me lazy, well, thats acceptable.
You make excuse after excuse for yourself and you don't even see it. Even as all these people write in you still choose to focus on the breast issue rather than the real issue and that is your attitued.
Even with large breasts and arthritis, you KNOW there are things you can still do to help out. You simply choose not to. Now, the question is: why?
For that one, I believe Dr. Phil was right when he says you're being passive agressive. You're mad at your husband for the things he said about you and you're getting him back by making him do all the work around the house and take care of the kids. My dear, that is just NOT the way to go about it.
You're going to have to let the past go and move forward. NO GOOD will come over holding bitterness, resentment, and unforgiveness in your heart. It is clear to me that there is a lot of unhappiness in your family. It seems to me you are both waiting for the other one to make the move towards recovery, but regardless of what he does, you can only control one person and that person is YOU! Therefore, it must be YOU who makes the move.
No matter how he acts, YOU have to do what's right for your children, your family, and yourself. That means you need to help out. If he cooks, you clean. If he bathes one child, you bathe the other. If he gets up early one day to get the kids ready, you get up early the next day, or you can get up and do it together.
Think of the messages you are sending to your children: it's OK to hold a grudge, it's OK to punish someone for past mistakes, it's OK not to forgive, it's OK to be vendictive, it's OK to talk badly about someone.
Funny thing about grudges, you know? They are like babies. They start out so small and innocent and they just beg you to pick them up, feed them, and give them attention. So you do. Then they grow, and as they do, they consume more. Before you know it, that innocent, little grudge grows and multiplies into bitterness, resentment, and unforgiveness. Now instead of you holding the grudge, the grudge holds YOU!
Every time you recall the hurtful words your husband said to you, you feed that grudge. Every time you turn that over in your mind, you keep the fire burning. You must CHOOSE to put those memories away - and it is a conscious effort - and move on into a new era. You're the only one who can do it.
BTW, if I were talking to your husband I'd tell him these same things.
(Original Air Date: 03/20/06) Do you constantly have to compromise to get along with your mate? Do you feel like you have to give up a vital part of yourself to be in a relationship? Dr. Phil talks to controlling guests and the loved ones who feel trapped by them. Jeffrey hates that his wife of seven months, Mindy, goes out clubbing with her younger friends, who he says are a bad influence on her. Mindy leaves the kids with Jeffrey's 16-year-old daughter and parties until 6:00 a.m., while he works the night shift. Mindy calls Jeffrey “a warden,” and says if he had his way, she’d never leave the house. Then, Jason claims his wife, Terrie, is lazy. He says he has to clean the house, do chores, take care of the kids and balance two checkbooks! Terrie says her large chest and arthritis prevent her from doing household tasks. Is Terrie making excuses not to clean up her act? Talk about the show here.
