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Topic : 09/01 Slave to My Spouse

Number of Replies: 394
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Created on : Friday, March 17, 2006, 01:30:32 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 03/20/06) Do you constantly have to compromise to get along with your mate? Do you feel like you have to give up a vital part of yourself to be in a relationship? Dr. Phil talks to controlling guests and the loved ones who feel trapped by them. Jeffrey hates that his wife of seven months, Mindy, goes out clubbing with her younger friends, who he says are a bad influence on her. Mindy leaves the kids with Jeffrey's 16-year-old daughter and parties until 6:00 a.m., while he works the night shift. Mindy calls Jeffrey “a warden,” and says if he had his way, she’d never leave the house. Then, Jason claims his wife, Terrie, is lazy. He says he has to clean the house, do chores, take care of the kids and balance two checkbooks! Terrie says her large chest and arthritis prevent her from doing household tasks. Is Terrie making excuses not to clean up her act? Talk about the show here.

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March 20, 2006, 1:11 pm CST

03/20 "I'm a Slave to My Spouse"

Mindy needs to realize that her behavior is self-destructive.  In addition marriage with a blended family means more commitment than ever!  It appears that her marriage to him granted her a full time baby sitter when she decides its "her time" to fly!  How about BOTh of them taking a weekend each month to devote time to themselves.  The one thing that bothers me most is the substance abuse that she is participating in.  The use of cocaine IN the home where her children are present constitutes child abuse and Child Protective Services should be notified.  What kind of role model is she portraying to her children with the partying and drug abuse??  This woman does NOT need to be married NOR does she deserve custody of ANY child while she continually self destructs.
 
March 20, 2006, 1:15 pm CST

no drugs

and about mindy doing drugs.like dr.phil says WHAT ARE YOU THINKING you have kids now and a hubby.your party time is over.and drugs well thats just a no go.you need help lady.after you get married and have kids you dont do things like partys and drugs and drinking.i would never go out and leave my hubby when i was married and go out with my friends and to say what you say about.YOU WOULD CHOSE YOUR FRIENDS OVER YOUR HUBBY THEN WHY DID YOU GET MARRIED IN THE FIRST PLACE.why didnt you just stay single and pary.what is that saying to your hubby and even to your kids.you should have those kids taken away from you.you dont deserve them or your hubby. 

  

                                              cuddles 

  

                                                  

 
March 20, 2006, 1:26 pm CST

Good Grief

You know, if the tables were turned and the man was the one going out to bars, doing drugs, etc., I'd bet Dr. Phil would have really beat him up (rightfully so).  Actually, I was surprised that he (Dr. Phil) was as supportive to the wife as he was.  I agree and support that everyone in a relationship needs some time alone but based on what was portrayed on the show, if I was the husband, I would not accept my wife going to bars as a single woman.  Period.  One thing I didn't understand was why Dr. Phil didn't get on his soap box concerning the wife using drugs at home with the children.   There is no excuse for that.  None. 
 
March 20, 2006, 1:26 pm CST

Get a new hobby

 I am stay at home with three kids....My "release" is to go get a manicure or just go to a store alone.  Going to a club and drinking is not the place to be without your mate.  Maybe once in a while.  She and stephanie need to get a new hobby.  How would she feel if her husband was out at the clubs all night being the flirt...  She needs to grow up and find a new interest. 
 
March 20, 2006, 1:28 pm CST

The solution starts with me

This couple needs some real help and it won't cost a dime.  Mindy seems to have a problem with drugs and now alcohol.  Being clean for seven years doesn't mean it is ok to use again.  The alcoholic doesn't have to drink every day, it is what happens to us when we drink that makes us an alcoholic.  Her husband needs to look at his own issues as to why he is attracted to women who seem to take advantage of his "good" nature.  Al-non might help him to look more closely at himself and as to why he is repeating history.    And, Mindy, AA is a solution that can help you in all areas of your life, if you so choose to be helped.   I wonder why Dr Phil hasn't confronted this issue with this couple in a more straight forward manner. 

 
March 20, 2006, 1:32 pm CST

I DO OBJECT

  

I am a person living with severe scoliosis and arthritis and I clean my house on a daily basis. I have a shunt due to the arthritis and a morphine pump for the pain. I clean, cook  and do everything in my house and  try to treat my husband like a king. We do unfortunately have no children, but we have a wirehaired terrier. 

I am so sorry that all these woman feel that they are slaves , but do they never look at their husbands or children in awe and then thank whom ever that they believe in, for the chance to be there for them? 

 I pity them for wasting all the time 

  

 
March 20, 2006, 1:37 pm CST

Marriage means working at problems

Quote From: kellybrian

I will keep this short. The first couple, Your wife doesn't love you, or isn't in love with you. I used to be her( minus the coke bit). I was in a relationship too and had more fun out with my friends and partying at the bars and was always happier when he was not around. The sooner you get out of there, the better your life will be. I am surprized Dr. Phil would waste his time and money on counselling for those 2. At the end of the show she seemed really thrilled to be trying to work out the problems. She could care less.its so obvious. Any woman who WANTS to go to bars and flirt like that is not in love with their husband. end of story. its that simple!!! GET OUT, leave the lady, take the kids and enjoy your life without her. You will not regret that decision. There is more woman out there who want to spend time with their man and wnat to make their marraige a happy one. Its all about HER... 
When you're married you don't just take off and leave because you run into difficulties. You try to work it out. That is what makes marriage different than just dating someone or living with someone. The kids will not benefit by having their family ripped apart. So, the parents owe it to their children to see if they can work through this. They might be able to grow much stronger and closer than ever through counseling. That would be the best thing for everyone. You don't just throw in the towel without even giving it a shot. That's just awful. Unfortunately, that's so much of what's wrong with society today. Marriage means nothing to so many people. They run into a difficult time or issue and they haul a$$. Then the kids grow up dealing with the fallout.
 
March 20, 2006, 1:39 pm CST

I DO AGREE

Quote From: smilikat

I wondered why Dr. Phil didn't ask the second wife WHY does she want another child?  She doesn't seem to have any interest in the ones she has now....much less interest in anything.  When she commented that she didn't want to have breast reduction because the desire for another baby....I about fell out of my chair!   

  

Both of the women in this segment really bothered me.  No one is perfect....themselves included.  They should count their blessings that they've found someone that appears to love them... 

  

Like Dr. Phil says, a relationship isn't 50/50....it's 100/100!  The women, in my opinion, need to get real, grow up and realize what they have....ESPECIALLY children.  What an example they're setting for them.... 

I  agree with you a 100%. I am livivng with severe scoliosis and arthritis and if she has such bad arthritis she has to lose some weight and there are other avenues for pain medication. I do not have children , but would have loved one, and yes you were right both women seemed to be unresponsive to their children
 
March 20, 2006, 1:41 pm CST

What a crock

This anti-housework lady... she annoys me. 

  

Her excuses are just ridiculous. I have size F breasts on a 5'3 115 lb frame.. and I don't have any problems cleaning or doing laundry. I wish I could hop on the show right now and let her have it. 

  

She doesn't have to do housework 100% of the time.. but I think it's rude to make your husband do it 100% of the time. 

  

Marriage is a compromise... and apparently she doesn't realize that. 

  

As for the party mom... GROW UP 

 
March 20, 2006, 1:42 pm CST

Message From a Slob

Well, much like the current guest, am not much of a housekeeper. I am single with three dogs and a house. I work fulltime on my own business that I started about a year ago, lots of hours, and then evenings go to school fulltime (online) taking three courses per term. About the only time my house gets a real good cleaning is between college terms. In between, I fly thru the house with a dust mop and a vacumm, and quick wipes for the counters. With home repairs, fulltime work at my own business, and fulltime school, there's just no time. I made my priorities ... so be it. I have decided though that there is no way to date anyone or have anyone in my life even for a date here an there ... no time for my own life! I also have a sweet grandson that was born in November (I do manage to clean before he comes overnight).  So, cobwebs be still ... I'm sure they will be there when I am ready to face the world from underneath this hectic schedule.
 
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