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Topic : 09/01 Slave to My Spouse

Number of Replies: 394
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Created on : Friday, March 17, 2006, 01:30:32 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 03/20/06) Do you constantly have to compromise to get along with your mate? Do you feel like you have to give up a vital part of yourself to be in a relationship? Dr. Phil talks to controlling guests and the loved ones who feel trapped by them. Jeffrey hates that his wife of seven months, Mindy, goes out clubbing with her younger friends, who he says are a bad influence on her. Mindy leaves the kids with Jeffrey's 16-year-old daughter and parties until 6:00 a.m., while he works the night shift. Mindy calls Jeffrey “a warden,” and says if he had his way, she’d never leave the house. Then, Jason claims his wife, Terrie, is lazy. He says he has to clean the house, do chores, take care of the kids and balance two checkbooks! Terrie says her large chest and arthritis prevent her from doing household tasks. Is Terrie making excuses not to clean up her act? Talk about the show here.

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March 19, 2006, 7:32 am CST

People forget that marriage is a committment

People forget that when they get married, that partying is over. They have to meet in the middle to meet their spouses needs. It's not all about ME! ME! ME! anymore. That is all some people think about, though is themselves. For the lazy one, come on, how disgusting it is when someone wants to live in a pig sty. People who live in a dirty house and don't want to launder clothes are pretty disgusting.
 
March 19, 2006, 9:51 am CST

I agree

Quote From: zakksmomm

People forget that when they get married, that partying is over. They have to meet in the middle to meet their spouses needs. It's not all about ME! ME! ME! anymore. That is all some people think about, though is themselves. For the lazy one, come on, how disgusting it is when someone wants to live in a pig sty. People who live in a dirty house and don't want to launder clothes are pretty disgusting.
I agree. I don't know what that girl is thinking going out partying all the time. She is out of her mind! I mean she should be thinking about her children (if she has one) and not about herself. If she wants to go out partying, she could do that on a weekend and not so late and I just want to remind you that this topic is not about who's house is clean the most It's about can this girl be clean when it comes to partying and drinknig.
 
March 19, 2006, 10:09 am CST

It's not about you ANYMORE!!!!

First of all, I believe that once you have children, your life changes but it seems like not for this women. This women going out partying all the time untill 6:00am and doing this all the time with people that are a bad influence is not healthy at all. She thinks she is living the teenage years and can't or won't get over it. It's like not feeding or cleaning up after cat (I'm being specific with cat) the only difference is your kid can't take care of themselves. The two of them (I mean the husband & wife) should be planning out what should I do and what should I do instead of one person doing all of them. That is just not right. I feel pretty sorry for this guy doing all this stuff and the wife ( I think) not doing anything at all except partying and drinknig cause girl, all I got to say to you is, It's not about you ANYMORE!!!!! 

 
March 19, 2006, 10:13 pm CST

03/20 "I'm a Slave to My Spouse"

This lady is crazy still living in her past behaviors probably.  Grow up lady, you have kids to raise!
 
March 20, 2006, 7:42 am CST

Grow up!!

Mindy SERIOUSLY needs to grow up.  I'm 31 - got married when I was 22.  I stay at home, take care of my house and kids and my husband.  Party time is OVER lady!!!!  You have responsibilities now.  If you don't care about your husband enough to stop what you're doing, care enough about your children!!!
 
March 20, 2006, 7:45 am CST

i disagree

ok....i actually don't disapprove completely with what this woman is doing.  i stay at home with my 2 children EVERY DAY while my husband works....and i go out once every other week, if not once a week.  it has nothing to do with lack of commitment, its a sense of independence.  granted i dont go out until 6am, or do drugs, but i think that its ok to get out from under the chaos every once in a while, and i dont think that people should judge until they have been in that situation
 
March 20, 2006, 7:53 am CST

grow up!

As for the first guest......I was 18 when I had my first child and I had a choice to make as everyone does when life changes.  I was never a big party girl but I did enjoy going out periodically.  After having my daughter, I chose to be a good Mom, love and care for her and just grow up!   I could have gotten babysitters and left her to go out drinking, dancing whatever......that choice would have been SELFISH.  I am now 40 years old, married and my daughter is 22.  I also have a 14 year old son.  My daughter tells people how much I have done to make her a responsible young woman and that she loves that I spent so much time being a MOM when she was growing up.  When your kids grow up and thank you for doing the things that we should all do as parents anyway.......it puts a warmth in your heart that nothing can replace. 

The wife who hates to clean??????????  COME ON 

Who LIKES to clean a toilet?  Wash clothes?  Scrub floors?  Vacuume?  Need I go on?  But.....who can stand to live in filth?  Not doing these things will no doubt result in a dirty home in which to raise your kids.  If you have issues with your husband (which obviously you do)......deal with those issues.  Don't use the excuse that you work outside the home ........most women have jobs outside the home and have families.....you made the choice now be responsible.  And PLEASE don't use the excuse that your breasts are large!  I think I have heard it all now!  How in the world did you carry a child for 9 months????   

Sounds to me that these women need to deal with the issues that are underlying here so that they can lead productive lives.  In the meantime............spend the energy on your family that you are spending now on other things! 

 
March 20, 2006, 7:59 am CST

One More Thing

Please don't get me wrong !  I do know that we all need time for ourselves sometimes....we are all human.  I go out once a month with my best friend....it's a standing date.  Her and I get together about 5 in the afternoon for dinner.  We sit and talk for at least 2-3 hours and enjoy catching up with life.  After that I come home and spend the rest of the night with my family.  My husband has his own practice and is at the office Mon -Thurs from 8-6.  He is also in a band.  They practice in my home 2 times a week and sometimes when he plays out, I stay home.  No harm done.   

So......getting out is great sometimes as long as you aren't doing something that leaves your family hurting!   

 
March 20, 2006, 8:00 am CST

You GO

Quote From: jwthompson

Mindy SERIOUSLY needs to grow up.  I'm 31 - got married when I was 22.  I stay at home, take care of my house and kids and my husband.  Party time is OVER lady!!!!  You have responsibilities now.  If you don't care about your husband enough to stop what you're doing, care enough about your children!!!

AMEN to that one! 

 
March 20, 2006, 8:09 am CST

Drug use should have been taken to task

I had a hard time feeling sorry for either one of these ladies today.  There are so many other ways besides "clubbing" to retain that part of you that isn't a wife and mother.  I know women who have joined book clubs, sports teams, you name it, but not partying and doing drugs.  The first lady's concept of time for herself shouldn't include using cocaine with her kids in the other room.  Unexcusable behavior, and really abusive to her children.  How do you stop and start cocaine?  Isn't it highly addictive?  No surprise that her husband can't trust her.  Her justification of her behavior boiled down to a bunch of excuses. 

  

And the anti-housework lady??  Who likes housework?  I don't know any woman who jumps for joy at the prospect of cleaning?  But you get up and do it anyway, if nothing else than for your kids.  Her husband did seem a bit smug, and the abusive language has gotta go, but her kids shouldn't be punished for her resentment.  Again, what about the kids?  It's not all about you anymore! 

 
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