Topic : 09/01 Slave to My Spouse

A GOOD HUSBAND OR WIFE SHOULD TRY TO WORK OUT PROBLEMS. IF IT STILL ISN'T WORKING, MAYBE THE HUSBAND WHO'S WIFE WON'T WORK TO KEEP A CLEAN HOME FOR HER HUSBAND AND CHILDREN, SHOULD THINK ABOUT MARRYING THE IN-LAW THAT IS A CONTROL FREAK, WHO WILL ALWAYS SEE TO IT THAT EVERYTHING IS PERFECT. AND THE WIFE WHO STAYS OUT WITH "THE GIRLS" TILL 6AM SHOULD FIND SOMEONE THAT LIKES TO STAY OUT ALL NIGHT. 

i do believe that men and women when married do deserve a little time apart to go out with friends but until 6am is a bit much. i have not seen the show but i get a good idea from all the posts what was said. As far as her going out to clubs without her wedding ring...doesnt matter if its one night or everynight......she vowed to love her husband and not wearing her wedding ring shows total disrespect for her marriage. same goes for the man.......why get married if you dont really care for each other enough to proudly wear your wedding ring........when my ex and i were together we spoke of marriage all the time and we wore wedding bands and she also wore her engagement ring proudly when she went out letting other men know she was married....


today, i have a friend with whom is in a bad relationship. yes we go out for lunch and sometimes i will go with her to keep her company when she goes to get her nails done but thats it. i am her Dr Phil if you wanna put it that way because she comes to me for help when she has problems at home with her man. She has given him many chances to improve things that caused their relationship but he is in a comfort zone and i tell her that most likely he wont change because he doesnt feel threatened by her leaving him. she gave him the last 3.5 years of her life after we split....yes i once dated this girl but i learned to live with her as a friend only and i would rather have that than not at all.

either way.....for mindy there is no problem with her going out but not until 6am and the drugs gotta go.....she does need to face the fact that she is not single anymore and she should respect her husband by coming in at a reasonable hour.....just as he should respect her and do the same when he goes out.....strip clubs are highly overrated....why goto a strip club and spend 100's of dollars or so on women you can sleep with when you have a wife at home who would love the attention!

getting away from the norm is a stress-relieving feeling...when i first started dating this one girl, i never got to see my friends...i felt tied down by her...always spending my free time with her....when i mentioned going out with friends for an evening of shooting pool, she accused me of cheating.....that is a wrong way to discuss something..she made me feel guilty to keep me within her grasps....that is not right.....but everyone does deserve time away.....there are boundaries that should not be crossed but that is a whole another story from this topic.....as this topic discusses her staying out late and drug use...

for the lazy woman.....i do agree with those women who say that unless you have been in their situation you shouldnt judge them.....maybe her breasts are not as large as other women but there could be other reasons for her not wanting to do the housekeeping...i do think that excuses is a BS was of getting out of it but if she does have medical conditions that might be causing her to feel pain then that is a viable reason for her to say that she hates doing the cleaning....\

how about getting your entire family involved....if your kids are old enough to use the chemicals or cleaners in a responsible way, assign them cleaning chores.....throw out trash, clean toilet.....clean the kitchen counters....teach them to measure detergents to wash clothes....my mother taught me at an early age and to this day i do these things for myself and for whomever i am with.....

i cannot believe that women think it's ok to go out so much and drink.  Do her childern see her drunk?  Ever think of waiting until your husband can go with you?  I know so many young women who go to bars a lot and it ends up bad.  You could meet someone else and begin a whole new thing.  I think you should rethink all of this.  It's ok to go out once in a  while with your friends no one should be stuck with just the kids and house but 6:AM what can go on after the bars close?  Mabey you need to have a girls night at your house, that's what my friends do and it's cheaper.  Good luck your going to need it.

I wore the affects of being a stay at home mum. A home in which my ex-husband rarely was seen. I had no friends as was not committed to school participation but did teach my children homework and a bit more of lifes values. The expectations of society are that women who choose to be with their children are a little slow and I experienced this from the top down. Working people are rewarded with salaries but we were not. I now have grandchildren and can reflect on my past errors. Not all women have the make-up to stay at home. Some do so but are feeling repressed and stifled. Most who later go back to the work place have to be retrained for a position otherwise they become servers which is what they are in their homes, leaving them usually very tired of the humdrum in their employment and at home. It does not give them the sense of worth that they are seeking. Women who take on a challenging career are usually motivatedly rewarded and this in turn then reflects in the family unit. I do believe that women who are dynamic should keep up with the business world with courses that can be fitted in between the hours during the day, thereby allowing them the opportunity to be fairly represented when returning to the work place. As for drugs, they can be part of the problem of total bordom. The outing with friends until all hours are also related to the repression that she feels. At times the husbands are also boring and uncomplimentary of the work that she puts in housewise. Housework not being done is proof that she hates her existence and has just plain given up. If it wasn't for the well being of my children it would have been dead easy just to let things slide. The woman above should be out and about, not out with friends until late hours, but out feeling productive with a sense of reward and accomplishment.  Remember on stating the above I was there.

 Honey; there was plenty of time BEFORE you got married to "party!"  Now is time to step up to the plate and be a mother and wife!!  I'm not by any means saying you do not deserve time to yourself, and time with your friends-but I am guessing 6AM is a BIT LATE to be strolling in!!??  I am 50 yrs old, and let me tell you; not many people did more partying than myself & my girlfriends, but we all ended up maturing and with families-and it curtailed; then our time was to meet for a couple cups of java and catch up on what was going on in our families & in our heads.
And don't pull the old excuses for not cleaning your house; you are a young woman-and you need to get over small aches and pains, I'm sorry!!  As I said, I'm 50-and I have Fibromyalgia; Degenerative Disc Disease-with complete nerve damage so they can not operate; glacoma to the point that everything is blurry-and I manage to clean my house and keep it clean!  Besides for also having Mental Illnesses.  That to me is just a cop out; if you can go out clubbing; you can DEFINATELY clean!!  You seem not to have problems dancing or moving fine when you are out; how about exerting some of that energy in your home???
My husband was an alcoholic, so at one point I was working 3 jobs-taking care of 2 babies; and taking care of cleaning, cooking, laundry, etc-because his money went over the bar everynight. And the kids had to go to a sitter everyday because he couldn't get up to take care of them!  Then, at another point, we owned a restaurant-we moved in with my mother in law because she had a stroke, so I was working at the restaurant; had an outside job; took care of my 2 small kids; all the household chores; took care of my  invalid mother in law-while my husband dragged himself into the restaurant about noon, after I'd been there since 6am!!  So as for excuses; they are like water off a ducks back to me!!  And, inbetween all the other obligations, I ran on a volunteer ambulance squad!
My words are, GROW UP; and handle your responsiblilites the way they should be-and the way you are meant to!

Terrie isn't the one who was out clubbing and leaving her 16 yr old with the kids. That was Mindy. Get your stories sorted out before you post.

Just a quick update on Jeffrey and Mindy!!  We are doing great.  Our marriage was only made stronger by our appearance on the show.  Jeffrey's daughter moved out about a month ago (she's with her mom working on thier relationship) and we are having a baby that is due in March.  Obviously the going out is few and far between and limited more to dinner and a movie. 

 

I hate reruns.

Mindy

Just a quick update on Jeffrey and Mindy!!  We are doing great.  Our marriage was only made stronger by our appearance on the show.  Jeffrey's daughter moved out about a month ago (she's with her mom working on thier relationship) and we are having a baby that is due in March.  Obviously the going out is few and far between and limited more to dinner and a movie. 

 

I hate reruns.

Mindy

 

It's frustrating when the other half doesn't want to put anything into relationship. I definately feel for this guy. My bf and I have 2 kids under the age of 2 and we both work full time. He leaves all of the housework, bills, cooking, kids, etc to me because he can't get away from his computer. He is addicted to it. I have kids so I don't want to leave him but sometimes I wonder if I'd be better off...

Congradulations on the baby. I am happy to hear that all is going well.