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Topic : 03/21 More Annoying People

Number of Replies: 76
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Created on : Friday, March 17, 2006, 01:35:31 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Are you experiencing irritation overload with a friend or loved one? Does he or she cause scenes in public and make you the butt of bad jokes? If so, you’re not alone. Angie says her sister, Gwen, is the most annoying person on the planet! She rants, raves and flips the bird to total strangers. She even teaches Angie’s 2-year-old curse words. Gwen says her behavior is funny and thinks Angie needs to lighten up. Watch what happens when Dr. Phil plans an experiment and gives Gwen a taste of her own medicine! Then, remember the lovable loudmouth, Becky? Her daughter, Sara, said she swore like a drunken sailor, and could be heard from miles away. Becky said she was simply opinionated, honest and blunt. Has she been able to keep her big mouth shut since she was on the show? Plus, Taylor and Cassidy say their mom, Suzanne’s, obsession with watching Dr. Phil is driving them nuts! Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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March 21, 2006, 5:11 pm CST

Dr. Phil Show.

Dear Doctor Phil. The most Annoying People is at Target Store in Arvada, Colorado where it is und- 

er construction all the time. That is why I ignor them as soon as possible. See you tomorrow Aftern- 

oon at 03:00 P.M. To 04:00 P.M. Well I had better close now. Sincerley Your. Russell


  

 
March 21, 2006, 5:55 pm CST

Now, You Know......

If I EVER found my sister-or any other adult, for that matter- teaching and coaxing my innocent and vulnerable 2 y.o. to use vile and obscene language for their own personal and selfish amusement, that person would no longer be permitted to spend time with my child, period! 

That is very abusive!!!  

 
March 21, 2006, 5:56 pm CST

what a crying shame...

these people need help!  They are like small children demanding any kind of attention - good or bad- and the comments that are being returned by the woman from the show on this board are showing that she really hasn't changed!  Her comments are defensive and she's definitely in attack mode!  Chill out, sweetheart, I went through the same thing a couple of years ago, and it was to do with not letting people get too close 'cos I may be hurt.  So I shunned everyone, and nearly lost my husband due to my behaviour, which had nothing to do with him, but my insecurities from my childhood.     

 
March 21, 2006, 5:57 pm CST

Assertive vs. Aggresive

Quote From: gmamary

Need some help. On today's show one of the guest was sitting back in the audience and told Dr. Phil to repeat something he had told her on an earlier show. It was so good that I didn't think I would forget the two words that he used when he was  talking about balancing out.

Dr. Phil told mom that there is a difference in assertiveness versus  aggressiveness.  Assertiveness is protecting your own rights, whereas aggressiveness is intruding on the rights of others.  It may not be exact, but it's close. 

  

Take Care, 

Sara 

 
March 21, 2006, 6:13 pm CST

Annoying Department Chair

Watching Dr. Phil's show tonight made me want to get your opinions of this person I work with.  I would like to know if you have any suggestions.  I need to confront our dept. chair at my school.  She is in her late 40's, a VERY organized person, worked in business for quite a while, and began teaching about 4 years ago. 

  

My problem is that she is an annoying, aggressive, power hungry lady.  She has taken it upon herself to order our classroom supplies for the following year without our imput, because she knows "more or less what we will need for the next year" (she said that to us and we could not believe that!)  We (the other teachers in our dept. ) feel that we are responsible enough to order by ourselves what we need because she does not know exactly what we may need.  Besides, it may change from year to year depending on what we will teach, what kind of projects we will do, etc.   

  

She has also taken it upon herself to order anything else that SHE thinks we should have in our classroom that SHE thinks we need.  Last year, she bought maps of all the continents....4 per teacher.  Each map cost $55.  WE never asked to get them.  Before she was dept. chair, we had the opportunity to order whatever we would like to have to enhance our teaching.  Besides the 8 of us already have maps (not the kind SHE wanted us to have).  So, if you check out the total...$55 x 4 maps each = $2,200 x 8 teachers =  around $17,600 !!!!!!   WHAT!!??  She NEVER asked us about this. One day she just came to our rooms and just presented them to us.  The money for these came from what we earned through fundraisers, not from taxpayers.   All of us could NOT believe it when she brought them to us individually.    

  

She is an exceptionally organized person and gets the job done for the administrators.  She has become buddy buddy with the principals.  She likes to tell us what we need to do according to the principals/ dept. chair meeting, give us her opinion on EVERYTHING that happens in school.  She is in the room across the hall from me so I see her during the change of classes all day.  She will come over to me and tell me how horrible her different classes are because they don't know much, or an individual student doesn't know ANYTHING etc.  I don't really want to listen to THAT!   I KNOW a lot of the students she teaches and they are not all as bad as she says.  I feel that all students come from different environments and each one has a different story to tell and that is why I respect each one of them for what they are and still try to help them.  SHE...on the other hand says that they are dumb, and puts them down etc.   

  

Last year, I was teaching Sp. III, III honors, two classes of Spanish 4, and one AP 5 spanish class with a total number of 170 students.  At the end of the year, she told us that starting THIS YEAR,we don't have the choice of which class we would like to teach (and we don't believe her).  T 

  

he last day of school in June, she gave us all our schedules.  I was so surprised AND upset.  My schedule said that I had 3 classes of level I, 2 classes of Sp. III, and my Spanish V AP.  I "assumed" that I would be getting Level 4 to teach, but unfortunately, it wasn't on my schedule.  I went to her room and asked her why that changed.  She told me that a lot of MY level III students and HER level III students complained to her that they didn't want me to teach Sp. 4 the following year.  WHY?  She said that the students told her that they would learn nothing from me, that "I" am not a good teacher.  I asked her why she hadn't told me this BEFORE so something could be rectified.  She couldn't give me an answer.  I also told her that I hear bad things about all teachers from kids, including HER and to  take  with a grain of salt what students say about other teachers.   

  

I could go on and on and on.  AND...SHE has NO idea that I was voted "Teacher of the Year" a few  years ago. I would like to teach level 4 and 5 AP again, and also level 3's if at all possible.  I heard from one of my comrads that she has had her sights on taking the upper level classes from me.  I have taught for 26 years, (mostly Spanish I, II, and III) and I would LOVE to teach upper levels (Sp 4 and 5 AP) now since I have not had the opportunity to do so, in all these years.  Remember she has only taught for 4 years.  Her vocabulary is not extensive, her pronunciation is not good, and she makes many grammar mistakes when she talks.  If I try to have a conversation with her totally in Spanish and no English, she will eventually speak in English since she doesn't know the vocabulary words she needs in order to express herself, nor does she know much of the grammar to speak correctly.  When I go into her room, she has grammar mistakes written on the board in the directions she writes for the students.  The Latino  (Hispanic) students do not want to be in her class.  The "Gringo" students don't want to be in her class because she speaks English most of the time and has a horrible pronunciation, but some have NO choice depending on how the cards lay. 

  

This teacher BRAGS to the other teachers that she "teaches upper levels now"  many more negative things to me, that I can't take it much longer.  I'm afraid that she may be trying to ruin my reputation, but maybe I NEED to have a private conversation with her.  Just what do I say to her in a professional manner.  Right now, I keep hurting and hurting every time I hear what she says about me.   

  

She brags about how much jewelry she gets on the cruises she goes on, at least 2x per year, about expensive diamond bracelets, earrings, her husband gave to her.  She wears a different set each day.  I would have NO problem with that, but it's just that she BRAGS.  Can you believe this:  She has told her classes that she is power hungry and that is why her first husband divorced her.  Her husband of late, gives her everything she wants.  That's all well and good, but DONT flaunt it to people who can't afford cruises and jewelry every 4 months! 

  

This has turned into a tremendously long letter.  I don't want to take YOUR time for too long.  Please help me professionally talk to this woman.  I don't want to be a crying baby since I'm so sensitive.  You could say......??????????????? 

  

PLEASE give me a wise and professional  path to follow in order to talk with her.    

  

Gracias!!     I hope I've told you so that it all makes sense.   

 
March 21, 2006, 6:18 pm CST

Dogs onthe loose.....

Quote From: tweedle

 

 

I’ve lived in this lake side community for 6 years. The first three years were great. The neighbors (mostly summer people) and I got along great. Then the people across the street moved in. They act as if this is their private community and free run for their dogs. They would get back from their winter where ever and let the dogs run. I went over and asked them nicely to keep their dogs in their own yard. She gave me the deer in the head lights look as if I was speaking a foreign language or something. I tried to explain my son was terrified of big dog and that for the dog’s sake because a car could hit them they should be keep in their own yard.  

  

 

That worked for about two weeks and she would get lazy and just open the door and let the dogs out again instead of going out with them and keeping them in the yard.  I kept trying to get my boyfriend to go over and tell them to keep the dogs on their own property. He would not do it he just wanted to shoot the dogs. I went over again and asked them to keep the dogs on their own property or I will call the cops.  

  

 

Well they called my bluff and I did, 4 times…they have been cited and still will not keep the dogs on their property. Up until this year, they would go south or something during the winter but this year they have been here all year. I have almost hit the dogs twice with my car when they ran out chasing it. It was frustrating but at least I only had to deal with it 6 months of the year then they would leave and all would be well again. Until this year, they did not leave. All year I have had to fight with them about the dogs. 

  

 

My house is on the market now and moving out of the community. I told my real-estate agent I do not care who you sell the house to the worse the better as long as they have the money to pay for the house. I am so hoping she finds a stereotypical redneck family with 7 kids, grandma and grandpa and six pigs to move in the place. Paybacks are hell. 

  

Most communities have leash laws nowadays so you might have more luck contacting animal control.  Letting these dogs run loose is totally irresponsible and potentially dangerous.  Last summer  while walking my Rottweiler who is a formidable 125 pounds, two loose pit bulls charged out of nowhere and began to attack her.  There was no way she could fend off two of them and she was on a leash.  I didn't dare let her go, fearing they would chase her off and get her down.  I began to whip the pits with the end of her leash and one turned on me.  I can still see in slow motion his jaws clamp down on my thigh and I could feel the teeth sink into my skin.  By the grace of God, someone drove by and they jumped out and began shouting and swinging a golf club.  The pits called off the attack and disappeared into the brush.  Without his intervention, I shudder to think how this attack might have ended. 

  

To make a horrible story short, both my dog and I were severely bitten.  Both of us required medical treatment.  The expenses of her care were over $800.  Thank goodness I had insurance for myself.  We have both healed, but I will have ugly scars on my thigh for the rest of my life.   

  

The point is that the owner of these dogs probably didn't even know where they were.  I am sure that they ran back home as they looked too heathly to be strays.  Animal control was never able to find them.  The experience was so frightening, but what if I had been a child? Or an elderly person, or disabled?   

  

I am a lifelong animal lover and own big dogs myself.  I do not blame the dogs.  It has changed my attitude towards taking my dog for  a walk.  It was six months before I could do it alone again and now I carry a gun when we go.  I do not want to ever have to shoot anyone's pet, but I will never let this happen to me again.  At least I still have my dog.  Some months later the same type of attack happened to a man  in our town and his Golden Retriever was killed by the other dogs.  The man's calves were shredded. I don't know if it was the same dogs, but I don't think so as it was on the other side of town.  This type of thing happens more than we might like to think.   

 
March 21, 2006, 6:26 pm CST

Really Like the changes in Becky!!!!

From the information offered on today’s show, I was pleased to see that, at least others think, that Becky had made some changes. That perhaps she has learned that genuinely good humor involves more thought than just resorting to foul language and just plain bizarre behaviors to get a knee-jerk reaction. Despite her denial of change or any need for change, she certainly wasn’t the negative attention-seeker that I saw on the first show. GOOD GOING BECKY!!!! 

 
March 21, 2006, 6:40 pm CST

Very Defensive

Gwen's postings on here are pretty defensive.  I can understand that it's difficult to hear criticism - no one likes to hear about their faults (and we all have them), but  Gwen,,you did say basically that you would 'dial back' your behavior, so that's aknowledging that SOMETIMES you can be obnoxious.  The video showed clearly how you can act, and if you know its hurtful to someone you love, why would you do it? 

  

Like the other people posting on this topic, I would object strenuously to someone teaching my young child to say phrases containing swear words - it's not ok - ever. 

 
March 21, 2006, 7:20 pm CST

Have you spoken with your colleagues????

Quote From: vancel

Watching Dr. Phil's show tonight made me want to get your opinions of this person I work with.  I would like to know if you have any suggestions.  I need to confront our dept. chair at my school.  She is in her late 40's, a VERY organized person, worked in business for quite a while, and began teaching about 4 years ago. 

  

My problem is that she is an annoying, aggressive, power hungry lady.  She has taken it upon herself to order our classroom supplies for the following year without our imput, because she knows "more or less what we will need for the next year" (she said that to us and we could not believe that!)  We (the other teachers in our dept. ) feel that we are responsible enough to order by ourselves what we need because she does not know exactly what we may need.  Besides, it may change from year to year depending on what we will teach, what kind of projects we will do, etc.   

  

She has also taken it upon herself to order anything else that SHE thinks we should have in our classroom that SHE thinks we need.  Last year, she bought maps of all the continents....4 per teacher.  Each map cost $55.  WE never asked to get them.  Before she was dept. chair, we had the opportunity to order whatever we would like to have to enhance our teaching.  Besides the 8 of us already have maps (not the kind SHE wanted us to have).  So, if you check out the total...$55 x 4 maps each = $2,200 x 8 teachers =  around $17,600 !!!!!!   WHAT!!??  She NEVER asked us about this. One day she just came to our rooms and just presented them to us.  The money for these came from what we earned through fundraisers, not from taxpayers.   All of us could NOT believe it when she brought them to us individually.    

  

She is an exceptionally organized person and gets the job done for the administrators.  She has become buddy buddy with the principals.  She likes to tell us what we need to do according to the principals/ dept. chair meeting, give us her opinion on EVERYTHING that happens in school.  She is in the room across the hall from me so I see her during the change of classes all day.  She will come over to me and tell me how horrible her different classes are because they don't know much, or an individual student doesn't know ANYTHING etc.  I don't really want to listen to THAT!   I KNOW a lot of the students she teaches and they are not all as bad as she says.  I feel that all students come from different environments and each one has a different story to tell and that is why I respect each one of them for what they are and still try to help them.  SHE...on the other hand says that they are dumb, and puts them down etc.   

  

Last year, I was teaching Sp. III, III honors, two classes of Spanish 4, and one AP 5 spanish class with a total number of 170 students.  At the end of the year, she told us that starting THIS YEAR,we don't have the choice of which class we would like to teach (and we don't believe her).  T 

  

he last day of school in June, she gave us all our schedules.  I was so surprised AND upset.  My schedule said that I had 3 classes of level I, 2 classes of Sp. III, and my Spanish V AP.  I "assumed" that I would be getting Level 4 to teach, but unfortunately, it wasn't on my schedule.  I went to her room and asked her why that changed.  She told me that a lot of MY level III students and HER level III students complained to her that they didn't want me to teach Sp. 4 the following year.  WHY?  She said that the students told her that they would learn nothing from me, that "I" am not a good teacher.  I asked her why she hadn't told me this BEFORE so something could be rectified.  She couldn't give me an answer.  I also told her that I hear bad things about all teachers from kids, including HER and to  take  with a grain of salt what students say about other teachers.   

  

I could go on and on and on.  AND...SHE has NO idea that I was voted "Teacher of the Year" a few  years ago. I would like to teach level 4 and 5 AP again, and also level 3's if at all possible.  I heard from one of my comrads that she has had her sights on taking the upper level classes from me.  I have taught for 26 years, (mostly Spanish I, II, and III) and I would LOVE to teach upper levels (Sp 4 and 5 AP) now since I have not had the opportunity to do so, in all these years.  Remember she has only taught for 4 years.  Her vocabulary is not extensive, her pronunciation is not good, and she makes many grammar mistakes when she talks.  If I try to have a conversation with her totally in Spanish and no English, she will eventually speak in English since she doesn't know the vocabulary words she needs in order to express herself, nor does she know much of the grammar to speak correctly.  When I go into her room, she has grammar mistakes written on the board in the directions she writes for the students.  The Latino  (Hispanic) students do not want to be in her class.  The "Gringo" students don't want to be in her class because she speaks English most of the time and has a horrible pronunciation, but some have NO choice depending on how the cards lay. 

  

This teacher BRAGS to the other teachers that she "teaches upper levels now"  many more negative things to me, that I can't take it much longer.  I'm afraid that she may be trying to ruin my reputation, but maybe I NEED to have a private conversation with her.  Just what do I say to her in a professional manner.  Right now, I keep hurting and hurting every time I hear what she says about me.   

  

She brags about how much jewelry she gets on the cruises she goes on, at least 2x per year, about expensive diamond bracelets, earrings, her husband gave to her.  She wears a different set each day.  I would have NO problem with that, but it's just that she BRAGS.  Can you believe this:  She has told her classes that she is power hungry and that is why her first husband divorced her.  Her husband of late, gives her everything she wants.  That's all well and good, but DONT flaunt it to people who can't afford cruises and jewelry every 4 months! 

  

This has turned into a tremendously long letter.  I don't want to take YOUR time for too long.  Please help me professionally talk to this woman.  I don't want to be a crying baby since I'm so sensitive.  You could say......??????????????? 

  

PLEASE give me a wise and professional  path to follow in order to talk with her.    

  

Gracias!!     I hope I've told you so that it all makes sense.   

What do your colleagues have to say about this persons behavior? You certainly have described what seems like extremely arrogant and self-involved choice making. Are your fellow teachers in the dept. just ‘going along’ with this behavior or have they also expressed concerns? You said that there were eight other teachers, right? Is it time that you sat down and had a conversation with THEM about this woman and her unilateral choices? If the other teachers are as upset over her behavior as you are, then it might be appropriate to approach her as a group, ask for a meeting and make her aware of how you feel. There must be some kind of chain-of-command to follow. If you, as a group, meet with her and can not come to some sort of a resolve about your involvement in making critical choices about you OWN individual needs as teachers then go to the next level. 

Just some thoughts.  

 
March 21, 2006, 7:52 pm CST

I Agree!!! And, Gwen....

Quote From: anonup

Gwen's postings on here are pretty defensive.  I can understand that it's difficult to hear criticism - no one likes to hear about their faults (and we all have them), but  Gwen,,you did say basically that you would 'dial back' your behavior, so that's aknowledging that SOMETIMES you can be obnoxious.  The video showed clearly how you can act, and if you know its hurtful to someone you love, why would you do it? 

  

Like the other people posting on this topic, I would object strenuously to someone teaching my young child to say phrases containing swear words - it's not ok - ever. 

I don’t see anyone calling Gwen, a ‘bad person’, however, the behaviors she displayed- with a great big grin- on the show weren’t just obnoxious they were apparently designed to be just that. The folks on this message board are basically saying exactly what Angie was saying, ‘sometimes your choices hurt others.’ 

I also agree that Gwen already knows that her behaviors were hurtful to others. I even believe that she knew THAT before stepping in front of the cameras. 

 

Gwen this is an opportunity to grow and create change. The message I'm consistently seeing is: This behavior is unacceptable. Not that Gwen is a bad person!!! 

Just some things to think about.  

 
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