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Topic : 03/27 More Wifestyles, Part 3

Number of Replies: 1158
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Created on : Thursday, March 23, 2006, 07:13:20 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
The letters keep coming in! Dr. Phil revisits the controversial topic of what defines the role of a wife. Ken thinks his wife, Diana, is lazy because she can't keep the house up to his standard of cleanliness. Ken works two jobs and keeps his spouse financially comfortable but doesn't understand why Diana, a stay-at-home mom, can't keep a cleaner house. Diana is pregnant with their third child in five years and says she's doing the best she can. Then, meet "Anne," who performs nude shows online to bring home the bacon. Her husband, "Rob," disapproves of his wife's method of income, but he hasn't stopped her from doing it. Now that Anne has had an affair with one of her customers, is it too late to save their marriage? Share your thoughts.

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March 24, 2006, 10:51 pm CST

03/27 More Wifestyles, Part 3

Work together and a marriage can be loving, happy, successful, fullfilling and a life time. My hubby and I are on the same page and we are in this marriage together, there are n demands, there are no bosses, there are no "I do more then you" attitide. We love, support, and repsect one another as two hard working, great parents and loving spouses, and this method works! We are one another' sencouragers and uplifters. You people who think that your spouse doesn't dp their part, then change places with them and do THEIR job and find out for your selves what they do.
 
March 25, 2006, 8:32 am CST

Clean house and kids don't mix

I know what this mom is experiencing; I've been there. This couple needs to sit down and discuss the issue and find resolutions and compromises. If this husband is unhappy merely because there are toys lying around, then he needs realize that with toddlers, there will always be toys lying around. If there are Cheerios lying on the floor for days on end, then we have a problem. I believe this situation could be remedied by understanding what the hubby expects as clean, understanding what mom can manage each day, and providing the right tools for keeping things clean. How much of the mess is hubby contributing to? Unrealistic expectations and another child are only going to make this situation escalate.
 
March 25, 2006, 8:39 pm CST

wifestyles

Some women are, while others aren't, particularly concerned with housework.  Maintaining a household can often be mundane and often thankless - especially when children are involved. 

Still, it must be done.  To me, cleanliness is equivalent  healthiness.  Disorganization often compounds stress.  SAHMs are overwhelmed with tasks and numerous circumstances can sometimes deprive them of the social interaction that they need - often leads to feelings of discouragement or isolation.  There are no 'lazy' women, they are likely burdened with a heavy load. 

 
March 26, 2006, 11:42 am CST

To who ever who wrote this

Quote From: delbie

I know what this mom is experiencing; I've been there. This couple needs to sit down and discuss the issue and find resolutions and compromises. If this husband is unhappy merely because there are toys lying around, then he needs realize that with toddlers, there will always be toys lying around. If there are Cheerios lying on the floor for days on end, then we have a problem. I believe this situation could be remedied by understanding what the hubby expects as clean, understanding what mom can manage each day, and providing the right tools for keeping things clean. How much of the mess is hubby contributing to? Unrealistic expectations and another child are only going to make this situation escalate.
To who ever who wrote this, your confusing me. Even though I believe that this couple needs to sit down and talk about this issue, you are making it sound like that the children to blame for this and it also sounds like you are a controll freak. I mean I could live in a dirty house all my life and still be happy with my family. What are you getting at?
 
March 26, 2006, 11:47 am CST

Who would do such a thing?

Someone who has to sell themselves online has to be messed up in the head even if they have no job/no where else to turn but I can understand where they come from. It's just that, who would do such a thing?
 
March 27, 2006, 2:13 am CST

in agreement

Quote From: jettav

Work together and a marriage can be loving, happy, successful, fullfilling and a life time. My hubby and I are on the same page and we are in this marriage together, there are n demands, there are no bosses, there are no "I do more then you" attitide. We love, support, and repsect one another as two hard working, great parents and loving spouses, and this method works! We are one another' sencouragers and uplifters. You people who think that your spouse doesn't dp their part, then change places with them and do THEIR job and find out for your selves what they do.

Being a military wife, with a husband who is usually deployed for months at a time, leaves me with a great deal of time on my hands, when I was a stay at home mom, I managed to not only keep and maintain a house but to keep my husband happy while he was home. their are no bosses in this marriage, all their is here is teamwork, when my husband brings in the pay, I pay off the debt, and then I take care of what my husband needs and then what i want. our house was as clean as I could keep it when I had younger children. now that I have older children, I focus more on what we can do as a family then whether or not my husband leaves his shoes in the wrong room. what I see needs to happen is equality and acceptance of each other. this couple really needs to learn to accept each other. and to work together. I hope for their children that they can look behind the superficial stuff, and really get a chance to enjoy and cherish getting to know each other over and over again. 

  

 
March 27, 2006, 6:49 am CST

More Wifestyles Part three

Ken refers to his wife as half assed..He should be on his knees thanking his wife for having his children and putting up with his garbage..Ken in my opinion is a half assed husband!
 
March 27, 2006, 6:53 am CST

Probably not

I'm sorry, I know this is not the politically correct thing to say, but I have to admit that I get so tired of hearing about stay-at-home (SAH) moms who are so darned exhausted at having every day off to clean the house and take care of their families.  Sorry, but Diana's got a babysitter??  And she can't pick up the Cheerios?   

  

I'm not saying that Ken is handling his feelings right, or that's he justified in EVERYTHING he's saying, and I've never realized my own feelings about this subject until the last few similar shows like this on Dr. Phil, but come on.  I'm sorry, but I work full-time, travel an hour to and an hour back home every day, have a teenager and a toddler, volunteer as an EMT (& am the training officer) with my local rescue unit, and serve on a public committee for the town I live in.  AND I'm pregnant with child #3!  And I still manage to raise my kids - including coaching my son's baseball team (at 6-months pregnant), manage my house, and cook and clean.   No, the house isn't spotless EVERY day, but if I had EVERY day off, it darn-well would be. 

  

I know there's a big debate on how much work a SAH mom does, and I'm definitely (absolutely) not saying that all SAH moms aren't doing a good job or aren't doing enough, I guess I'm just lost at how overwhelmed some SAH moms seem to be (like Diana) when they don't really seem to be making the most of their time and managing their houses/families.   I think Ken isn't getting a very fair rap with this whole thing.  He hired a cleaning company?  I'll take it!   Sorry, I'm just not having a very easy time painting Ken as the bad guy here and Diana as the victim. 

 
March 27, 2006, 6:55 am CST

03/27 More Wifestyles, Part 3

This husband needs to get a clue to life. There is a lot more important things in life than a few toys or Cheerios on the floor. Maybe if he spent his limited time at home doing other things than getting his wife pregnant, things would improve. Strap on an extra 40-50 pounds on him and have him work at home all day, see how much he gets done. I've been where she is, and finally told my hubby if I couldn't please him, I wouldn't bother to try. He came around, and we have an awesome marriage now. We both work full time, and work at home making it a home. This guy needs a huge reality check.
 
March 27, 2006, 6:59 am CST

Here's the bottom line

Ken, get off your lazy arse and help around the house.  Three small kids is the equivalent of six full-time jobs, so shut your fat trap and pick those Cheerios up yourself.  Diana, stop buying expensive stuff and don't let him do it, because he uses the expensive stuff to rub your face in your so-called "inadequacies".  What a chauvanist pig you are married to.  Let's see HIM clean the house and keep two toddlers along with toting another human life growing inside of you.  GRRRRRR!!!!  He couldn't do it, I guarantee it!!  What a jerk!
 
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