Topic : 03/27 More Wifestyles, Part 3

Don't worry about me. I'm just ready to get it over with and get rid of these sinus headaches (they don't really feel like headaches, more like pressure). I saw my ENT yesterday, and he says this will be much simpler than the last one...hopefully just a few days recovery and back to new!!

 

Connor starts preschool the 5th. I don't care if someone has to carry me in the door all drugged up...I won't miss that. He, of course, won't care....he'll probably run in the room barely tossing a good-bye over is shoulder at me!! LOL!

Ohhh...wow. One of those tearful mommy moments in life huh?  I had one of those the other day when Emma and Frank were flying a kite together. Emma was holding the string and Frank was holding her and running, she really thought  she was the one flying the kite...I just had tears in my eyes watching them.

I love mommy moments!

It's been a while since I posted but life as a working Mom is very busy.  Most days I don't have time to "stop and smell the roses" .  Anyhow, my husband is saying what he does in a joking manner...he's like that.  I'm not the one going into therapy, that would be you.  I just get frustrated at people like you who don't take responsibility for what they say.  Yes, you have implied that dual income families live more extravagantly than you with no house, no yard and no new clothes.  I explained that a lot of dual income families don't have those things either and you had a snippy, snide remark about what a good job your husband must have.  It must not be that good if he can't provide a house for his family. I do not believe you are doing any better for your daughter being home than I am by using daycare.  That goes for you and Jetta and anyone else who thinks daycare is a horrible, negative, traumatic experience for my kids.  I sleep well at night knowing they have what they need and a few things they want.  Financially, not that it's your business, we are far better off than most of our friends even though our salaries are lower.  Maybe you don't have what you do because you manage money poorly and that's too bad for your daughter to have a poor example.  I can also point out things I believe are a poor example for your daughter just by what you've posted on these boards.  I don't see the need to do that unless necessary.  You made your comments, yes, they hurt and yes I fought back.  I won't befriend you now because you feel bad (or not) for saying something out of line.  That's exactly what it was- OUT OF LINE for you to say anything about my life, my kids or what I do with them.  Like the other poster said, NONE of us can pat ourselves just yet...our kids are still little.  Also, depending on what situation you have certain things might be more important for your kids to learn than others.  For example, in a snow ridden climate shoveling snow might be useful to know but here in the land of sunshine it's a moot point.  Same goes for boys and girls...my boys need to learn to be men and your daughter needs to learn different things depending on what she wants from life. 

 Some people don't buy houses because living in an apartment is easier than taking care of a house.  As I would have you know the statistics are against you in saying that daycare is 100% safe for children. There are far more statistics that show harm than good, believe what you will.http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,205917,00.html. I am glad that you are okay financially, but like I have said before, we are a one income family and are also financially secure, so don't generalize.

Same goes for boys and girls...my boys need to learn to be men and your daughter needs to learn different things depending on what she wants from life.

Are you saying your boys are going to learn what they want from life from a daycare center? What was your point here?

First, no, I am NOT generalizing.  I was speaking directly to Purple who said herself that the reason she has no house, no yard is because she stays home with her daughter. The truth is (and statisitics show) that women who stay home with the kids (degree or not) are at a much greater risk than women who work during the marriage. 

 

Next, no, I don't believe my boys learn what they want from life from "the center" but they do see more options than if I were home.  They see different things and in my opinion that's a good thing. 

 If Mommy has been there every minute of every day doing for them and they've never had to do it for themselves I wonder how they will do. Daycare can have a very positive impact for skills they will need later in life.  Neogotiation, sharing, and people skills.  They are in an environment that won't justify every whim they have.  They have rules and boundaries.  Also, they have someone there for them that is not distracted by other things like laundry or grocery shopping.  Most at home Moms I see are so busy.  Yes, they are there but not 100%- they are really tuned out a lot of the time, running on auto pilot.   Dishes need to be done, dinner needs to be cooked, and a million other things...not a lot of fun for kids in my opinion.  Do you tell your daughters that they have to choose between children and a career? 

 NO child is 100% safe just because Mom is home either....don't kid yourself.  Have your kids never had an accident while you were doing something else?  My first never had anything even remotely questionable in all his years of "daycare' which by the way was NOT a center...it was private home-based.  My youngest, well, he had stitches which could have happened as easily as if I were home.  His daycare provider (also home based) had made two calls in 13 years of watching kids...mine was #2.  Not a bad record.  Be careful what you asssume....

This board is getting very humorous.

K, you really don't have anything to prove. Just like you, we are ALL good mom's and because I don't know any one on this board, I will vouch for myself, I am proud to be the mommy and wife that I am and according to your last posting, I fit the criteria to a T so thank you for posting all those positive things because even though my children don't go to daycare, my children are very socialable, smart, outgoing, has experiences that you wouldn't believe a stay at home mom could give, they play very well with others, barely gets into trouble and knock on wood, never have had any major mishaps, a few bumps and bruises, yes, ALL kids fall down.

As far as chores go, I have set times when I do things and my family helps. I have a great marriage and  great family and no where is it writtent hat we all need to agree and do things the same so don't you think it is time to give it a rest, what are you trying to prove to a bunch of strangers anyway? Is it really worth your time and effort, you talk about how busy you are, well, maybe instead of getting on here to continue this "prove myself" mode, you coulld be doing something more fun then being so bitter.

And a while back, You asked me, if I have ever tried to get to know you and I suppose I should answer that, YES. There has been several attempts right here on this board to get to know one another but you choose not to add anything, you would rather argue. There are also boards that you could go to help you to get to know aome one, check out the Faithful friends board (there's probably more), it is an awesome board and has people from different walks of life, believe me, it's better then gettin all out of shape.

And this is for you Purple, don't let any one get you down for going to therapy, been there myself about 15 years ago. Believe me, coming from an abusive childhood myself, I know exactly what you are going through, Your Emma is lucky to have a mommy who cares enough about herself to get the help that is needed, you have a brain and you are using it to become a better person, mommy, wife,and friend and to that I say Kudos to you, keep it up.

Have a great week every one and I am sure I will see you all (some of you anyway,LOL) at the faithful friends board. it really is a great board, K, you should check it out, it is far better then this one)

Why is a house superior dear dear Kira? I have a pool here, a huge yard, a play ground, lots of friendly neighbors with lots of kids, we have a great fun community. So while we save for a house I live a great life!

"Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans." John Lennon...great words of wisdom and I live by them everyday.

I am a very happy person. :o) 

"I can also point out things I believe are a poor example for your daughter just by what you've posted on these boards."

What is this? Are you alluding to the fact that I'm a atheist?

Purple you were on a roll! And I am laughing cause I just deleted two messages. figured I didn't want to go through the explaining myself again as I just know,I would have to.

Any way, bottom line as far as I am concerned, as a stay at home mom, I am very proud of the accomplishments of my children and the fact that I am a good mom and wife, Wish I could say that everything was perfect but I can't but life is good.

I personally do believe that daycare is overrated, but seriously, that isn't my issue because I have no desire to use it. I'm sorry that my statement might be offensive to some but hey, comments that others make about me staying home could be offensive as well, but I have learned not to make a big deal out of it.

All of us as mom's are actually in the same boat, we all have families and a home to take care of, at the end of our shifts, there is always work to be done, so our jobs are never done. The only difference between the two is the working mom is working in the work force, the stay at home mom is working at home all day and I can only vouch for myself, the majority of my day is spent with my kids, playing, teaching, hangin out, activities and now workin on home work, and whatever else, they come before the household chores. I have said this before but again, I am not a  stay at home maid but a stay at home mom and that seems to be the misconception from some.
 
I seriously think the majority of this board has been one big miss understanding of one another and the feelings of needing to prove oneself has taken over the idea of actually understanding the role of wife and mother. Seems to me that some are afraid to agree to disagree and they cant seem to get beyond  some sort of insecurities or something. None of us are perfect and everyone I believe has misconceptions of one another which is why I reccomend trying out other boards, cause really, it can give us a whole different feeling of what one another is really all about.

I think others don't come on this board cause they have been scared a way,LOL

Life is good every one, even though others don't agree and think as we think. Are they gonna do another wifestyle sho? maybe the next time, the subject of "wives" will actually be the discussion.

Bye Bye