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Topic : 03/28 Money Hungry

Number of Replies: 81
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Created on : Thursday, March 23, 2006, 07:15:01 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
How far would you go to make or save some extra cash? Christy calls her husband, Joel, the ultimate cheapskate. She says they never go on dates, and the last time she received a present from him was four years ago. She says Joel is such a tightwad, she even had to buy her own wedding ring! Then, Nichole says her sister, Amber, is so addicted to cold, hard cash that she even took a dangerous job breathing fire and married a man for $5,000. Amber admits she’s stuck in a vicious cycle and says she can’t get out.Will she be able to change her money-motivated lifestyle? Plus, meet a woman obsessed with scratch-off lottery tickets, and a mom who worries she’s raising a money-hungry son. Talk about the show here.

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March 28, 2006, 6:36 am CST

Joel's not as cheap as he could be

If jJel is spending 34 cents per diaper, he is overspending.  I use the White Cloud brand available at Walmart and am spending less than 19 cents per diaper(my son wears size 5 ,they were even cheaper when he was smaller). I also tape the diaper tabs when they rip!  

  

 I am the cheapskate in my family, though my husband admits we wouldn't have the things we have if I were a spendthrift.  I am a stay at home mom and we survive on about $25k per year and my husband is a seasonal worker.  We don't own new cars, we have a '93 Blazer and a '96 Buick, both in good shape, we bought a house last year, we found one for under $50,000 which in our area is a rare find, particularly since its not a mobile home.  We only purchase name brand items if we have a coupon making them cheaper than the generic.   

  

We do celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays.  I shop surplus and salvage stores when possible, rush to the clearance rack at Walmart-clearance is my second favorite word, free is the first.  I purchase items off the clearance shelves year round to have for birthdays and Christmas. 

  

 I seldom buy clothing for myself, usually it is out of absolute necessity.  Until my mother passed away I didn't have to buy my own underwear and socks, she bought them for me because she knew I hated to spend the money on clothing that no one can see! 

  

We're not wealthy by any means, but we are happy and healthy, we enjoy occasional nights out-an all you can eat buffet(on the right nights it is only $5.99 and lunch is as low as $3.99) and we go to the second run movie theater-$2.50 per person, a dollar each on Tuesdays.  It is possible to be cheap and still enjoy life! 

 
March 28, 2006, 6:39 am CST

Atta Girl

Quote From: ddgirl

Well I am 21 years old, I have been living on my own for 3 years now, my mom has letting go issues 

  

When I was 14 she decided to drop me off to live with my dads, and work in the usa so she can make enough to buy a house when she was finish working in the states about 3 years later I was not interested in moving in with her.  

  

Then at 18 I went out and moved out on my own because I felt like I did not belong in the family, and that I was tired of being in the shadow of my younger sister,  

my sister is 18 years old your basically perfect child, straight As, getting scholarships for track and field and academics to almost any school she wants in canada and the usa.  

and my mom has the constant annoying and manipluative way of keep pressuring me to move back home, when I have no intentions of moving back home because I am tried of being in my little sister sucessful shadow.  

  

I know me moving out on my own at 18 was not really the best planned out idea I had at the time, but it was the only way I could get my own indenty and find out who I am as a person, now 21 years old working on getting adult education programs to join into the midwifery program at one of the community universities, and my mom still thinks I am 12 years with no clues about life or respect the fact I pay all my bills, and support myself, threw stress and success all by myself 

Everytime I see my mom it is a constant argument "You should move back home, save up then move out" its like her way of telling me I messed up come back home so I can start over.  

When I know she did the best she could, to raise me to be a young adult, Can dr phil help my mom understand that I have left the ness and I need her move on to being a mom with an young adult child.  

  

It's like she does not want to admit I moved out, and learning things for myself. 

and I really feel that I give in and move back home, my mom will basically push me away to move out again and if I have to do it the second time I will not talk to her again or if she continues to push me to move back home I feel that I have to cut off all communication with my mom all together.  

  

  

Ya know, a lot of this will be answered when you become a mom.  What your mom did in the past must be let go of.  You must live now.  Mom can never take back things of the past.  It sounds like she is living with guilt.  I am a firm believer that The Lord gave us two wasted emotion; "GUILT",  you can't do anything to change the outcome because it's something that is done and over with, except learn from it and apologize, if needed. and "WORRY," you can't do anything about something that hasn't  happened yet, except prepare the best you can for a possible outcome. and let go of it. 

  

You must always love her and respect her feelings.  She is your mom.  But you are an adult. and have proving it, many times.  Let her vent and don't take offense.  If you stand your ground she will have to accept your decision.  If she continues , just look at her  with love and sternness and say, "Mom, DON'T GO THERE" , and change the subject. 

  

I am a mother of 3 adult daughters.  It was not easy to let go of my babies, but it is a must.  God gave them to me to raise the best I could, not to keep.  They are probably my best friends and they do love me.  Your mother has yet to learn this.  Help her, show her how to be your friend.  Tell her what you need from her, but don't let her cross the line.  I promise once she accepts you as an adult she is going to love the relationship.  If you don't want her to tell what to do.  Don't tell her everything.  That's what a "friend" is for.  You must remember that she will always be your mother first, and there is a protective mode that we get in .  Moms will always want to protect.  It seems that we have to fix IT, and most of the time you must fix IT and we must support you.  Not an easy job. 

  

I know you will do it.  Get tough, but loving and STAND YOUR GROUND!    Good luck 

 
March 28, 2006, 6:43 am CST

03/28 Money Hungry

Quote From: hitechgirl

Lots of girls have needed to make money.  I have a beautiful body and you don't see me taking my clothes off for a buck.  I have been at a place in my life where I only had $20 in my pocket and could have easily turned to this kind of business or any business that uses the female body, but, because I value ALL women more than I do making LOTS of money, I would never even consider doing this.  You can find legitimate work without taking your clothes off.  Manipulating men and women with your sexuality is wrong no matter how you look at it and justifying that you will be able to turn your life around is ludicrous due to all the actual damage you cause along the way for so many people that you don't even know or even stop to think about.  The worst part is that you hurt yourself the most but because you have lost your own personal value, you find ways to justify it, like saying "everybody else is doing it".  The legacy of American girls is at stake due to the very attitude you have.   May Dr. Phil do everything in his power to bring this "industry" to an end.  This is nothing more than LEGAL PROSTITUTION when sex is involved. 

  

www.standforwomen.com 

  

1 in 4 women are molested in the U.S. according to Dr. Phil!  The porn industry is a DIRECT cause. 

The business of porn is never going to end it's an 80 billion dollars business north american.  

  

new business are starting everyday and everyday a girl turns 18 maybe 1 in 5 of them join the new trend of becoming an adult star. There is no such thing as porn stars anymore the business is looking for everyday girls.  

  

There is a positive side to everything, just because of people personal value of them not likeing something they just want to label it as bad. Everything has manipulation to it. i.e tv shows only showing the bad side of something to get you to watch it and leaving out and positive side because they want to brain wash you to think it's bad.  

  

Not everyone can work in the legit 9 to 5 work world, just like not everyone can work into the adult entertainment business, each and every person out there has thier own purpose and something that drives them passion to successed in, not everyone can fall into socciety approval of what a good job is, because you have to look at yourself see what you want for yourself and go after it, and can't be worried about what other people think. 

  

Even if you work a regular 9 to 5 they find ways to maniplulate you, and make you feel completely worthless just like any other job, it's ridiculous  I remember going to an interview for a secruity job, and they wanted to hire me the first day without pay and then after about 5 hours of work I asked can I go for lunch and they said no, I had to ask to go the bathroom then run my home. but society thinks that job is respect and approved to the rest of society 

  

or another senerior for me would be trying to get regular magazine modeling job fashion modreling and the idiot photographer tried to kiss me I hit that idiot soo hard and I hate to run, but if I was on a set for an adult shoot I would not have to worry about feeling uncomfortable since the uncomfortable zone is broken because everyone there is seeing you naked, and sets the zone to be comfortable and friendly.  

  

  

 
March 28, 2006, 7:31 am CST

URGH!

Am I the only one disgusted with this woman, Christy?  Her poor husband is the only one bringing in money to support the family and she's complaining that he doesn't buy her presents????  Come on...it's so hard to be a man and be the ONLY provider in the house, if she want's more "things" then why doesn't she go get a job.  I can't stand women who stay at home all day while their husband works his tail off to provide for the family and then the women complain.  How about the gift of water, electricity, gas, phone, tv, car, car insurance, health insurance, mortgage, food and clothing???  How about the fact that in America most households have both partners working?  I'm sorry, I'm just disgusted.   
 
March 28, 2006, 7:32 am CST

Love is Blind, sometimes

Quote From: pioneerw2b

Paying for your own wedding ring ????? Come on now......no one needs a man that bad. It also burns me that he is able to spend on everyone but his own wife. Please, women out there......if you are not the most important thing to him BEFORE you are married, what makes you think you will be AFTER ????  You cannot change a man nor should you change who you are to fit him.  

Dr Phil needs to give the wife his book,"Self Matters".  I don't care about the fact that she knew how he was before the marriage.  That's in the past.  What she does from now on is up to her.  She can't change him, BUT, she can change her reaction to his actions.  Money is not that important, unless you have none.  It sounds like she has no say.  That's her choice.  When he does something that hurts her she must tell him.  that , that is unacceptable.  She is his equal in this marriage, start acting like it.  He was never taught as a child how to treat his partner.  She must teach him.  Men are not born with some emotions.  These are taught. How did the men in his life treat their life partners.  What was allowed.  He can be the man of the house, and still repect his wife in all decisions.  He will benifit in the long run.  He can't do what he's doing without her allowing it.  She must agree to some of the tactics he has been allowed to do.   

  

Really, I think that the whole situation is based on Repect and demanding Respect. 

 
March 28, 2006, 7:59 am CST

It's so sad, that some girls cant see what the rest of us are doing to survive!

Quote From: ddgirl

I just finished watching the episode that hate the mom locking her room to do webcam shows for money.  

  

I am also in the same line of work as her, and I can relate to why the business of webcam is so hard to stop, and so hard to even put off for alittle while.  Since all you need is a computer, high speed, a webcam or camcorder, and you can making a fist full of cash in minutes after being set up and advertising  

  

there is tones of webcam sites out there they are hiring webcam models male or female or other (TS or TV) on daily basis. for me is was my VERY first job or source of income and in a very short time I was able to move out and support myself I only 18 years old, 3 years later I am still making a comfortable living from webcam shows, phone with webcam shows, and having my own website.  

  

and YES ! the money is addictive especially if you are canadian making us dollars with almost next to know effort.  

  

But for me I have a positive goal to why I work as webcam model. I want to go university but my parents are no support what soever, so for me to get it done I have to any means nessary and being a webcam girl is 10000000% better then being a stripper in a strip club, or escort aka hooker.  

  

I rather log on my webcam, and never no psychial or personal contact with customers then actually see them face to face. Since the busines is 99% maniplulation that is where you as the model have all the control. and yes it might distory familes and maybe even put a strain on other people financially.  

  

but with the way the job market is. there is very little options for new comers starting out on their own with no financial support to get help, no every has a mommy and daddy who cares about them. and not every has a trust fund, or has a grandma or grandpa about to die and leave them money,  

  

and since the new generation is soo sexualltiy liberating, you can pretty much see 1 in 5 teenages 18 and over getting ready to jump in the webcam career, and yes I say career because you deal with sales, promoting, marketing and keep customers and gaining new customers.  

  

but if you in it for the wrong reasons you will never have a positive goal to pull you back out like school, a car or a house or even retirement.  

  

All these shows are constantly showing the negative things about internet porn bbut not one has a person on there doing it for a positive reason even there is a few out there that treat it like a business, and do not let it become soo far that is ruins thier lives or thier lives of people around them. 

Im so sorry to see how much you have been mis-guided through your own life. 

I hope you find the strength to get that education you speak of, as from reading your story, you are very much in need. Im also so sorry to hear that you dont have parents to support you. But guess what, neither do I. I am a 34 year old single attractive woman with a computer and I would never do that to myself. EVER! I choose to use my brain to make money, you should try it. You will feel so much better about yoruself for it! 

I sincerely hope you find what you need, to make better choices for yourself, and Good Luck. BUT you don't need to sell yourself. There is no price that can be put on your own personal self-esteem, & while working as a cyber slut, Im sure you have very little self confidence outside that bedroom of yours. Stop hiding behind your computer and use the brain God gave ya, Not just the rest of your body! Good Luck!~~! 

 
March 28, 2006, 8:02 am CST

are you truesly happy

after watcing the show with the girl who felt she was striping and o.k. with it I am so sad for her. I have been there. When you are looking to material things to make you happy then you are never going to be happy, when you are sitting on dr phil. tellong america that you don't  like what you do.....no one knows what name is printed on the INSIDE of your shoes! why as a society are we more concerned with the inside of our tags and the  inside of our hearts~goodluck girl 

from a girl who has been there~ 

Suzi~ virginia beach 

 
March 28, 2006, 8:35 am CST

For Amber, I have danced, your dance

  

  

Today, thousands of miles away in Germany, where I am stationed with my husband, who is in Iraq right now, I watched Amber on the show, and my heart went out to her, and I prayed so very hard, that she would listen to the words Dr.Phil spoke, because I have walked many miles in her shoes, and I know all the things we say to ourselves, to allow us to keep wearing those shoes. 

  

Nothing good comes from dancing, I know because I did that and I was there.  I worked in the top clubs in Houston, dancing at Rick's, the Gold Cup, and even the Men's club. 

I also danced in a lot of dives, what ever I felt might make the most money at that moment.  

  

Originally, I never planned to dance.  It is true, I took a waitressing job at Rick's, and waitressed for almost a year, but our uniforms were very cute, classy, and I was not required to show anything personal to any customers. 

This was good, I certainly wished I could make the kind of money the dancers did, but I was happy and content with a waitresses tips.  I was doing just fine with that. 

  

One day I was served with papers, and my ex was filing for custody of our son.  It would surprise me if I did not call every attorney in Houston, because that is exactly what I tried to do, but regardless, no one would help me until I put down a 5000.00 retainer fee, and that kind of money comes from a place I did not come from. 

  

As the court day drew near, and my waitress tips left nothing to spare, and I could see all the money the dancers were making, I took a dive. 

Why not dance, it was to save my son, and I would do anything in my power, legally, to keep my son at home with me. 

  

Long story short, it did not work.  Even if I did come up with the money, what judge is going to allow a dancer the custody of her child, when its such a poor choice, that invites many problems into ones world?  

  

Dancing became a crutch, if I was in a bind, it was an easy answer.  I can say that I never got involved with drugs, but I did use alcohol to lessen my inhibitions because without it, I was afraid to get on that stage, or dance at a table to make money.  

  

Dancing, is a mental mind screw, because the customers are trying to get what they can from you, for the least amount of money, and your trying to get the most money you can out of them, without having to do more. Its a game, and in the end, no one wins. There are just losers on every side. 

  

Dancing became, in Houston, a front for prostitution, and since I was not willing to sell myself to that level, it was hard to make money. 

Why in the world would a man pay me 20 dollars to dance, when the next girl will have sex with him, for that same price?  

  

The last time I danced, I had a boyfriend, we were engaged.  He was not working, we were hungry, and I felt like dancing would hold us over until we both found work. 

He hated me dancing.  He wanted to tell me to stop, and he tried in many ways, but as soon as we were hungry, I would hit the clubs again, much to his regret. 

Dancing, and the drinking I felt I must do to do that kind of work, became a horrible fight between us. 

  

Most of the time, these things do not have a happy ending, but this time, for me it did.  

  

My fiancee joined the Army, and promised me that we could have a better life, a nice home and not be hungry anymore, and there would be money for my children at Christmas time, and birthdays,  he offered me an option to a better way of life, and all I had to do, to be with man that loved me so much, and that I loved so very much, was to stop. 

And I did. 

While there have been struggles for both of us, and at some points, it was even tempting to run back to my old way of life, I just kept the faith that I was doing the right things, and because of that, eventually- good will come from it. 

  

For me, I have to be more than I was and all that I am because I am married to a soldier, who is putting his life on the line, because he believes in me, and I will not dissappoint him. 

So we do not have luxury cars that cost a fortune, and sometimes we cannot travel to exotic places because our funds will not accomodate it, and I do not wear a bunch fo designer clothes and have diamonds hanging off my ears, well that is okay for me. 

  

You see, I have a man who loves me too much to ever allow me to be shared, in fantasy or otherwise, with anyone else.  

I have a best friend, a beautiful lover and partner who is so supportive, pride, self respect, and I do not have to worry that my kids know what I am doing in life, because I know I am doing the right things. 

  

We are not rich, and my never be, but we do have all the things in life that money could not buy anyway.  My kids are happy, healthy, and each time I send them gifts, I am happy to do so, knowing that I did not degrade myself in order to get the money to do so. 

I worked for it, or their step-father did, and we put in a clean and respectable day of work, to provide it.   Somehow, knowing this, makes me feel like one of the wealthiest people to ever walk the Earth.  

  

It is my greatest hope, that  you (Amber if you read this) will value yourself as a brilliant, gorgeous, and intelligent person, who deserves more, and demands more from herself. 

Dancing is flattering, it feels like you are a star, men adore you and throw money at your feet, and I know how good that can feel sometimes, but it never feels as good as having a real man that loves you, and would never let you be worshipped like a piece of meat, and it does not beat self-respect, or your families support and love, nor your own self-esteem. 

  

By the way, even if I earned a lot of money dancing, I noticed, ironicly, that something would happen to make sure I never enjoyed anything I bought with the money I made from dancing. 

Coincidence, I suppose, but if I bought a nice pair of shoes, they would break a heel, or get lost or be stolen, clothes, same thing.  Music C.D.'s, tapes, whatever, none of it stayed in my life.  

Not even one of the friends I made in the dancing bars, is still a friend of mine.  I have no idea where they are, who they are, or if they even got out. 

  

And Dr.Phil is right yet again, one day, as time passes you will have to quit, because you will be in your 30' compteting with younger flesh, then where will you be? 

  

So please, recognise yourself as a beautiful, gifted, and talented human being, with a family who loves you, and demand more from yourself, than have until now. 

Those thousand dollar boots?? I dont know what you paid for them but that is flat out crazy, and if I saw you walk down the street in them, I would not be impressed because it would never occur to me that you paid that much, and if I happen to find out that you did, I would not envy you, I would think you were just nuts.... so let go of the materialistic, and brace in yourself, the things that really matter. 

  

Wishing you the very best, and happy roads ahead 

 
March 28, 2006, 8:43 am CST

I am not digusted

Quote From: t_ball_mom

Am I the only one disgusted with this woman, Christy?  Her poor husband is the only one bringing in money to support the family and she's complaining that he doesn't buy her presents????  Come on...it's so hard to be a man and be the ONLY provider in the house, if she want's more "things" then why doesn't she go get a job.  I can't stand women who stay at home all day while their husband works his tail off to provide for the family and then the women complain.  How about the gift of water, electricity, gas, phone, tv, car, car insurance, health insurance, mortgage, food and clothing???  How about the fact that in America most households have both partners working?  I'm sorry, I'm just disgusted.   

  

I am not digusted with Christy, working as a full time mother is harder than working outside of the home. 

And I know this because I did both, at the same time, with 3 young children. I would rather be at work than to be at home, tending to children. 

  

And it is not what she does or does not earn, its the appreciation that is valued. She said she would be happy to have special events acknowledged with a card even, and that does not cost much, just a couple of bucks that say I remembered you, your special day, and I am thinking of you. 

  

And as cheap as this guy is, is it possible that his wife does not work, because he is too cheap to pay for daycare? 

Very possible, and if that is the case, then her not working is on him. 

  

When my husband first became a soldier, and was in basic, we had no money, but I still took the time to write him a poem, to give him for his birthday, he loved it. 

It does not take money, to appreciate the loved ones in your life, and if he is simply too cheap to buy for anyone besides himself, or his child, then that is fine, he can go pick wildflowers and make a bouquet, and have a poem expressing his love, in hand, and I bet that would be worth more to her, than anything he could ever buy her. 

 
March 28, 2006, 8:47 am CST

Doctor Phil Show.

Dear Doctor Phil. Money is not for everyone but money that you have to earn by geting a job then get 

pay and do some shopping at either in the malls or at Target in Arvada, Colorado. But you donot ge 

t pay either by gambling or by not getting a job at all. See you today at 03:00 P.M. To 04:00 P.M.------ 

Well I had better close now. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.----------------------------------------------- 

 
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