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Topic : Bullies

Number of Replies: 535
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 12:44:13 pm
Author : dataimport
Bullying is far more serious than just name-calling and teasing. It's escalated to include harassment, beatings and even death threats. Share your bully stories, give and get advice from other parents.

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April 22, 2008, 4:20 am CDT

Bullies

Quote From: margeryb123

I'm sorry the answers to your questions are not the ones you were hoping for. Dictionary definition of pedophilia: a mental health health disorder which, when acted upon, is a crime.  A   pedophile is a person who commits the crime of having sex with a child.  Are you asking for help?
 You asked "Are you asking for help?". I don't think that there are many people who could help me, so I don't have much illusions. But I'm asking for some understanding (but I suppose you allready understood that).

About your dictionary definition I suppose you shortened it, since it doesn't say anything on the sexual taste of a pedophile. About the "mental health disorder", I wonder how the people who wrote this definition know such a thing. For I know it's at least just a taste.
The definition also said that "when acted upon, is a crime", which means that it is only a crime when acted upon, and not if you are a pedophile.
After that I read "A pedophile is a person who commits the crime of having sex with a child" are these the words of your dictionary, or are these your own words? Please, could you use quotations next time, because quotations clear things up, and this way we can have a more efficient communication.

But after I made my definition, and I asked you how you call a virgin pedophile, you answered with "sick". I don't think this is kind of you.

Maybe we could use http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/pedophile. On this page, when I rather think of the word "pedophile", I think of the definitions 1 and 3. I suppose you rather think of definition 2. I suppose this is the main difference between you and me, which caused our conflict. Could we please make peace now?
 
April 22, 2008, 4:54 am CDT

Bullies

Quote From: tammy_anne

Bully's do not make a person a pedophile, nor does it make a person lazy and not want to work for a living.

I read a few of your posts, and frankly some of your terminology was creepy.

As for being open minded or closed minded, it matters not to me what you may think of me or others.

As far as I am concerned you are looking for a medium to purport your views and to also seek acquiescence to your veiws. It would seem to me that since you have not gotten it, that instead you have resorted to making refrences to peoples state of minds and behaviors.

most of the individuals that post on the bully board are parents and even those that are not parents, are not going to feel safe, comfortable or agree that pedophilia is ok, because it is not, it is an illness that is a wreaker of lives and stealer of inocence.

My suggestion to you would to find a very good therapist to help you with your illness, it is not a sexual orinetation, it is an illness. If you have already sought out and found a good therapist good for you! Keep working with them because sadly pedophilia is a life long illness and has to constantly be monitored and dealt with.

As for pedophilacs being the target of bully's one has to remember and as you well know the targets are the children, and most individuals have a innate desire to protect children from harm ie phedophiles whos sole targets are children. If you find this offensive then you really need to do some introspection as to why you would find it offensive that the general population wants to protect children.

To reiterate being bullied did not make you a pedophile, it is  a mental illness, again find a really good therapist to work with.

Tammy

 

 "Bullies do not make a person a pedophile"

How do you know that for sure?

"nor does it make a person lazy and not want to work for a living"

I suppose you mean me? I have OCD, and that's not lazyness. I rather think that you judge so quickly that now I think you're (mentally) lazy. And regardless if I have OCD or not, I really can't help that I don't have much motivation. And btw, this morning I wanted to work, and then I just see these imo irritatengly stupid replies, which upsets me that much, that it is really hard for me to concentrate on the work that I wanted to do in the first place.

"I read a few of you posts, and frankly some of your terminology was creepy"

(Did I also say some useful things? And btw, I think also Dr. Phil says some useful things)
(And why are the replies only about "pedophiles"? I also said some other things, right?)
If you don't give one or more examples than what you just said is just a vague thing.

"As for being open minded or closed minded, it matters not to me what you may think of me or others"

Well, for being closed minded, I think it's a fair question to ask somebody to be more open minded, otherways that "somebody" is irritating others, and imo  that's not a good way how people should social intercourse. If it doesn't matter to you, than I'm glad for you, but in this case I'm not glad for others, and imo you have to respect the feelings of others.  I also don't really believe you that it doesn't matter to you. Say if I thougt you are a rapist you really wouldn't matter? And what if the whole society seems to say that you're a rapist, you also wouldn't matter? Well, it matters to me.


 
April 22, 2008, 8:12 am CDT

Why not talk about patriotism?

 I see only people react on the subject "pedophile". But I also wrote other things. Do you think they're good or bad ideas, or something in between?

I think the most important thing to talk about is the possible danger of patriotism, since I think it can lead to wars. (True, "wars" is off-topic, but they're really awfull). I would like to ask to the Americans here if you're brought up patriotic. E.g. is it true that you were forced as a child to sing the national hymn with your hand on your heart in front of a flag? (I remember I saw such things on TV, but I don't know if every American child is brought up like that, so that's why I ask.) But if it's true that you're brought up like that I think you're some sort of brainwashed. If you think such a bringing up is good, than I would like to ask you why it's just usefull to make the children only love their own country, and not the whole world?
I think if there was less patriotism, nationalism, chauvinism in the world and that the people started to think more with their own heads, instead of just repeating how they were raised, and repeating what is expected from them as being part of a nation, culture, etc. then there would also be less wars! What do you think? (For I care there aren't any countries)
So, if you were brainwashed like that as a child, so that you are patriotic now, wouldn't you think that you could have had more responsible opinions for this world now?


 
April 22, 2008, 9:28 am CDT

Bullies

Quote From: borido

 I see only people react on the subject "pedophile". But I also wrote other things. Do you think they're good or bad ideas, or something in between?

I think the most important thing to talk about is the possible danger of patriotism, since I think it can lead to wars. (True, "wars" is off-topic, but they're really awfull). I would like to ask to the Americans here if you're brought up patriotic. E.g. is it true that you were forced as a child to sing the national hymn with your hand on your heart in front of a flag? (I remember I saw such things on TV, but I don't know if every American child is brought up like that, so that's why I ask.) But if it's true that you're brought up like that I think you're some sort of brainwashed. If you think such a bringing up is good, than I would like to ask you why it's just usefull to make the children only love their own country, and not the whole world?
I think if there was less patriotism, nationalism, chauvinism in the world and that the people started to think more with their own heads, instead of just repeating how they were raised, and repeating what is expected from them as being part of a nation, culture, etc. then there would also be less wars! What do you think? (For I care there aren't any countries)
So, if you were brainwashed like that as a child, so that you are patriotic now, wouldn't you think that you could have had more responsible opinions for this world now?


Our patriotism is what gives you the legal right to spout this nonsense.
 
April 22, 2008, 12:02 pm CDT

please reply serious

Quote From: margeryb123

Our patriotism is what gives you the legal right to spout this nonsense.
 And yet another smart looking sentence, which doesn't make much sense to me, but rather seems like a sneer. Do you really think things are that easy, or do you rather have some simple sentences in your mind that you printed in your head without much understanding and you also seem to want to print it in the heads of others, without reasoning them, which is brainwashing?

Did you actually try to follow the reasoning in my previous posting? Why don't you just try to explain why my reasoning is wrong, instead of just replying with a sneer? Were you sure I tried to be mean in my previous posting? I just think it's important that people think more serious about this subject!
 
April 22, 2008, 12:37 pm CDT

Bordio

Quote From: borido

 You think people who don't harm other people are sick? Now it's really hard for me to think that you "thought" that, but rather "feeled" that. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but if you hear that somebody is sexual attracted to children, that you think that's so strange, that such a person also automatically is mean? And if the media also don't try to improve things on this matter, but rather "adapts" to the "common sense", so that they also make it sound that pedophiles are sexual child molesters, I think that they can also leave the "feeling" with you that they are, which can be called "brain-washing".

And to the media I would like to say that I think it's very good to make programs about sexual child molestation, but please don't make it sound that every pedophile is a sexual child molester!

If you want to talk about your mental illness, then the mental illness board is probably the best place to do it. the definition and word Pedophile raises knee jerk responses and that it what you are going to get.

The definition of pedophilia is classified as a mental illness ie sick.

However, if you are genuinly looking for help and support this really is not the board for it.

As for speaking of gym teachers and swimming instructors ect you have valid points about adults being capable of being bully's just as much as children are.

However, getting into a debate about pedophilia is not going to acomplish anything, other than antagonize people about a very sensative and emotional subject.

What would most benifit you is talking to a trained therapist about the issues you face within your life.

Tammy

 

 

 
April 22, 2008, 12:40 pm CDT

Continue

Quote From: tammy_anne

Bully's do not make a person a pedophile, nor does it make a person lazy and not want to work for a living.

I read a few of your posts, and frankly some of your terminology was creepy.

As for being open minded or closed minded, it matters not to me what you may think of me or others.

As far as I am concerned you are looking for a medium to purport your views and to also seek acquiescence to your veiws. It would seem to me that since you have not gotten it, that instead you have resorted to making refrences to peoples state of minds and behaviors.

most of the individuals that post on the bully board are parents and even those that are not parents, are not going to feel safe, comfortable or agree that pedophilia is ok, because it is not, it is an illness that is a wreaker of lives and stealer of inocence.

My suggestion to you would to find a very good therapist to help you with your illness, it is not a sexual orinetation, it is an illness. If you have already sought out and found a good therapist good for you! Keep working with them because sadly pedophilia is a life long illness and has to constantly be monitored and dealt with.

As for pedophilacs being the target of bully's one has to remember and as you well know the targets are the children, and most individuals have a innate desire to protect children from harm ie phedophiles whos sole targets are children. If you find this offensive then you really need to do some introspection as to why you would find it offensive that the general population wants to protect children.

To reiterate being bullied did not make you a pedophile, it is  a mental illness, again find a really good therapist to work with.

Tammy

 

 This afternoon I made a posting, replying on the rest of your posting, but it seemed that I was spending to much time for it, so I was logged out, and I couldn't post it.
Well, let's try to be short then, and hopefully people can think about it...

From "As far as..." to "...and behaviors"

I thought I tried to be friendly in my first postings.

From "most of..." to "...of inocence"

1. Since you seem to know these things so well for sure, then how many people did I wreak with my illness?
2. I wasn't defending sexual child molestation.
3. With "innocence" you mean "innocent children"? In that case, in my own childhood I didn't think many of the children were so innocent but rather brutal (e.g. after the swimlessons). So if you mean that, you're sounding very naieve to me.



 
April 22, 2008, 12:57 pm CDT

bordio

Quote From: borido

 "Bullies do not make a person a pedophile"

How do you know that for sure?

"nor does it make a person lazy and not want to work for a living"

I suppose you mean me? I have OCD, and that's not lazyness. I rather think that you judge so quickly that now I think you're (mentally) lazy. And regardless if I have OCD or not, I really can't help that I don't have much motivation. And btw, this morning I wanted to work, and then I just see these imo irritatengly stupid replies, which upsets me that much, that it is really hard for me to concentrate on the work that I wanted to do in the first place.

"I read a few of you posts, and frankly some of your terminology was creepy"

(Did I also say some useful things? And btw, I think also Dr. Phil says some useful things)
(And why are the replies only about "pedophiles"? I also said some other things, right?)
If you don't give one or more examples than what you just said is just a vague thing.

"As for being open minded or closed minded, it matters not to me what you may think of me or others"

Well, for being closed minded, I think it's a fair question to ask somebody to be more open minded, otherways that "somebody" is irritating others, and imo  that's not a good way how people should social intercourse. If it doesn't matter to you, than I'm glad for you, but in this case I'm not glad for others, and imo you have to respect the feelings of others.  I also don't really believe you that it doesn't matter to you. Say if I thougt you are a rapist you really wouldn't matter? And what if the whole society seems to say that you're a rapist, you also wouldn't matter? Well, it matters to me.


It baffles me how you can feel you have the right to judge and yes bully people by making coments like stupid replies, mental lazyness, making refrences to people patriotism, saying they are judgemental, ect, yet on the same hand you feel it is ok for you to do so?

In my opinion, and anything I write is my personal opinion mentaly lazy or not, in my opinion i think you are a pasive agressive, and youe motive is to antagonize people. Am i being judgemental? Yes I am makeing a judgement call, and that is it.

I do not believe you are open minded to hearing what people say, you are seeking a specific reaction, antagonized, and as soon as some one shares in what ever way that they are antagonized you jump on it and start throwing on more fuel.

what need are you fullfilling. personaly I do not care nor want to know, like I said you need to contact a good therapist.

As for having OCD, no that does not make people lazy, nor does it not make them try to earn a living.

I never said anything about that, I did say that bullies do not make some one a pedophile, you stated in one of your own posts that you were born this way, and could not help it, how in the world does that statement support your argument that a bully made you the weay you are? Never mind, I have no intrest in continuing a dialogue with you. I have stated what I think, and again I think you are a passive aggresive person, and you motive is soley to antagonize, not interested in playing that game with you.

Why the focus on phedophilia, honestly I would have to question why in the world you would share something like that on a public board, knowing how sensative an issue it is... well i think i already know so what ever.

As for what else you said, sure put in some issues that parents and concerned others can relate to, in order to point out that you posted some legitimate bully tactics, and throw dirt on people that respond to the most prevelant feelings that came up due to the other issue.. ok passive agresivness is bullying and in a forum like this the nice thing is I can walk away or stop responding to your tactics.

 

 

 
April 22, 2008, 2:49 pm CDT

Bullies

Quote From: tammy_anne

Bully's do not make a person a pedophile, nor does it make a person lazy and not want to work for a living.

I read a few of your posts, and frankly some of your terminology was creepy.

As for being open minded or closed minded, it matters not to me what you may think of me or others.

As far as I am concerned you are looking for a medium to purport your views and to also seek acquiescence to your veiws. It would seem to me that since you have not gotten it, that instead you have resorted to making refrences to peoples state of minds and behaviors.

most of the individuals that post on the bully board are parents and even those that are not parents, are not going to feel safe, comfortable or agree that pedophilia is ok, because it is not, it is an illness that is a wreaker of lives and stealer of inocence.

My suggestion to you would to find a very good therapist to help you with your illness, it is not a sexual orinetation, it is an illness. If you have already sought out and found a good therapist good for you! Keep working with them because sadly pedophilia is a life long illness and has to constantly be monitored and dealt with.

As for pedophilacs being the target of bully's one has to remember and as you well know the targets are the children, and most individuals have a innate desire to protect children from harm ie phedophiles whos sole targets are children. If you find this offensive then you really need to do some introspection as to why you would find it offensive that the general population wants to protect children.

To reiterate being bullied did not make you a pedophile, it is  a mental illness, again find a really good therapist to work with.

Tammy

 

 From "My suggestion..." to "...dealt with."

Why? I'm not hurting anybody with my "illness"!

From your last paragraph I don't understand much, but it could be that the reason for that is that English is not my native language.
About "the general population wants to protect children" I think that's good, but I have my serious doubts about it. E.g. about after my swim-lessons. Where were these child-protectors when the other kids started to bully on me? Why was it so hard to leave an adult behind? Did these people never really heard of it that children can bully on others when they are left alone? Why did their parents leave me alone with their kids? To be at the lowest end of the picking order feels horrible!!! And if such parents can point their fingers at pedophiles as if they are all child-molesters, I think that's so hypocrite, because these parents molest the weakest children themselves, but they don't do it themselves, but they let their children do it! I hope I don't have to be gratefull to these parents for the childhood they helped me to give?
That's why I have serious doubts about that the general population wants to protect children, and I rather have the impression that they rather look at the common sense, and don't think much of other ideas, and also point their fingers at others who are somewhat different (pedophiles), which I think are for the most part innocent (I think you wouldn't sexually abuse children if you were pedophile, right?), than to look seriously at themselves.
And btw, maybe you now understand why I don't trust groups of children and adults much. I could have lost this trust since I was 8/9. Do you still have this trust? (It seems to me that you also don't look critical to the "big" group, but rather joins them). I was 8/9. Do you think that's fair?
 
April 22, 2008, 3:30 pm CDT

Bullies

Quote From: tammy_anne

If you want to talk about your mental illness, then the mental illness board is probably the best place to do it. the definition and word Pedophile raises knee jerk responses and that it what you are going to get.

The definition of pedophilia is classified as a mental illness ie sick.

However, if you are genuinly looking for help and support this really is not the board for it.

As for speaking of gym teachers and swimming instructors ect you have valid points about adults being capable of being bully's just as much as children are.

However, getting into a debate about pedophilia is not going to acomplish anything, other than antagonize people about a very sensative and emotional subject.

What would most benifit you is talking to a trained therapist about the issues you face within your life.

Tammy

 

 

 If nobody says anything about the behaviour of the media and the people in common than things can never improve (in this case about pedophiles). Sadly imo about the same things had and have to be done for homophiles.
If people can become mean if I start to talk about these things, then,correct me if I'm wrong, than they are the ones who are doing wrong, right? Then why are you talking to me, and try not to correct them? If after the swimlessons the other kids were bullying on me, then you think that I should change? I thought these other kids should change! Why do you seem to join the majority? Why do you advice me to go to a therapist if others are being mean? For I care the society should change if they are behaving mean. If the society doesn't change, than that means that you could become only happy if you were lucky (being "normal").

In my first posting I said many things,but I wasn't trying to talk about my mental illness. That it's a mental illness is what other people say, but I seriously doubt if that is true. At least we could agree that it is a sexual taste? I didn't ask for my sexual taste (or my mental illness, if it's an illness), and in my first posting I friendly asked if the terminology on this website could be changed, or explained why not. That's not an unreasonable thing to ask, is it?

Something I don't think is a mental illness, but I think it's very negative, is the behaviour of people in groups hurting and insulting (bullying) on people who are different, and therefore pushing people out. You can notice such behaviour if you look at children, and ususally the weakest children are the victim of this part of human nature. One example I allready mentioned below in my previous posting, after the swim lessons). Another example, but then for adults, is imo the subject "pedophiles" are treated. Such a person seems to be a child molester anyhow, if I read the media and hear the opinions of others. Pedophiles hardly dare to defend themselves (such like as the weakest children). I really think that this behaviour of the "normal" people should change. Imo it's group bullying! But it's not a mental disease, I just think that people should be more aware of it that they have it in them, because it can make them really mean.

I thank you for mentioning the swim and gymteachers. Maybe you could help by talking more about this? If many people started to talk of the behaviour of some (or most?) of these people, then things could change,and this way you're really much helping children, in this case, usually the weakest ones.




 
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