Topic : Bullies

We relocated 2 years ago and it has been awful for my son.  Kids pick on him and call him names because he is overweight.  He would come home depressed, ears red from holding his feelings inside.  First we told him to walk away...even from the titty twisters that left bruises and the kicks in the legs.  Then we told him to tell his teachers and coaches because a lot was going on in PE and the boys locker room...the teachers told him to sit down or sit out as though he was disrupting the class.  It hurt him so much that anger started to build and we sent him to see a social worker so that he would have someone outside of his family to talk to.  2 years, the same bullies and it never got better.  I guess I began to ignore the problem because the complaints were daily, and I was wrong. 

 

Last year, the last week of school, I received a call from the school Principle that my son was in the office...a boy in PE pulled my sons pants down and my son pulled them up and punched the kid in the eye.  That boy was stunned and huddled with another boy, they tripped my son...the one that had gotten punched jumped on my son and started punching him in the head at least 7 times while he was down.  Then the coaches pulled the boy off of my sons head.  That boy and my son was suspened the last week of school.  That week I had to rub my sons scalp with alcohol to help the soreness because he was having a hard time sleeping.   By the way, when the scool called and told me what happened, the first words out of my mouth were.. "It's about time!"  I was glad that he finally stood up for himself.  He said he just couldnt take it anymore...he knows fighting is wrong, thats why it took 2 years before he did anything.

 

This week he was all emotional about the bullies...what if they sit next to him...what if they call him names...what if they hit him in the back of the neck when he is at his locker...WHAT IF I SHOW UP AT THEIR HOUSE???  I didn't tell him that...but I have thought it!  I am so sick of these bullies.  My son is so nice, helpful to other kids, will stay after school to help kids with their homework.  All he wants is to be accepted.  The poor boy walks around with his head down.  He got out of the car this morning with his head down dragging his feet like a nervous shy 4 year old.  HELP

 

Oh, I did go to meet the teacher night.  I met the new couch and told him what was going on in the gym and locker room.  I wanted to make sure he knew about last year, has seen my face, and know that this year the problem will not be ignored at home.  And I did say if my son instigates anything, I want to know about it.

Tell him to fight if he doesnt he will regret it for the rest of his life i promise you -.-

Aug 27th 2006 (Sunday) KC Star Local section;  Headline "A Champion to those who are bullied."  Randy Wiler; Leawood Police officier named 2006 International DARE Officier of the Year for his writing and test piloting two anti-bullying programs now used internationally.  His own son was a victim of bullying. 

Jay had a anti-bullying program some time back.

Thought this would be a good tie-in for show with an update on the world of bullies and be able to call on a Home Boy from K.C.

signed Mom of three--

I have a beautiful 13 yr old daughter.  She's been bullied since the 3rd grade.  I've dealt with the school, of course they do nothing about it.  In 3rd grade, it was to the point that my daughter would be physically sick at night when it was time to go to bed.  We took her to counseling but that didn't help much either.  They just told her to take the passive approach and ignore the name calling.  Of course, the bullying has escalated each year.  It's not always the same kids, there's a new one each year.  Last yr it got really bad at the end of the year.  It was girls and boys.  The boys were calling her a slut, bitch, or they would tell her, the only reason boys liked her was because she has big boobs.  The girls it was the typical name calling or ganging up on her.  It was so bad that she was threatening to kill herself.  We dealt with the school...again...no results.  They moved her seating in class, called everyday to see how her day went but there was no punishment for the bulliers and no guidance counseling for our daughter.  My daughter tried and made it for junior high cheerleader this year.  There is one girl that is really giving her a hard time.  My daughter is a tiny thing but this girl is calling fat, hog, dumb bitch, and so on.  My daughter wants to quit cheering.  I know deep down she doesn't want to quit, she just wants the bullying to stop.  She's cheered since she was in 3rd grade, that's all she's ever wanted to do and she's very good at it.  I asked her coach if she had noticed a problem between my daughter and this girl and she said yes there WAS a problem.  I told her what was going on still.  I'll see what happens....probably nothing.  All this bullying has taken it's toll on my daughter and our family.  She has obsessive behaviors from all of it.  One of them that absolutely drives up nuts and has been going on since 4th grade is taking 2 or more hours to pick out what she's going to wear the next day because if it's not perfect, then she will be made fun of.  She will do her hair 2 or more times because it has to be perfect or they will pick at her, only to leave the house for school crying because her hair is a mess.  I'm at my wits end and really worried about her.  I'm afraid of how this is effecting her and they she will grow up and be one of the most insecure people.  She has security at home but not in school.  I can't defend my child against kids at school.  From the day she was born I did nothing but try my best to make sure my girls have a good self esteem but you send them to school and kids just pick and pick at them to tear them down.  She doesn't feel safe at school, she told the principle that.  So what do I do?!?!?!  I'm ready for a nervous breakdown.  Any advice will be so greatly appreciated.  I just don't know what to do anymore. 

You think that YOU are about to have a nervous breakdown, then how do you think it must feel to be your daughter?
You said you tried counseling in the past- I urge you to take your daughter back ASAP. She needs to learn how to believe in herself, whether there are bullies or not. She needs professional guidance to develop a stronger sense of self esteem. Your daughter sounds like she is suffering from depression- and, again, whether it is because of bullying or not- she may benefit from an anti-anxiety medication (prozac, paxil) This is for her, so that she can feel better about herself, more comfortable in her own skin.
I know it hurts to have your child come home and cry to you about what goes on in her life, and I know how powerless it makes you feel, and she feels powerless, too. It is best to teach her how to not be a victim anymore, (again, with professional help) because as long as she feels like a victim, she will have more negative feelings than positive, which is unhealthy both emotionally and physically for her. A therapist can teach her ways to empower herself, how to pull herself away from the victim mentality, and how to raise her self esteem/self confidence in the face of what happens daily. i wish you all the best!

  

     It's only been 3 wks and my 16 yr old is being harassed. Mind you, she is in Vo Tech half the day.  So the other half she is teased about her clothes,  and her hair. I'm sure there is more but that's all I can get out of her. Someone went as far as to tell my daughter to cut her wrists, not across that person said, to make sure she did it right.  I'm at my wits end. She wants to do cyber or home schooling. What am I to do?

Could someone define bullying for me?  What are the different ways to bully?

  My son has been bullied by one boy for a long time.this goes on and off.This summer he didn't leave the house because this boy would find him and threaten to kill him.It stopped for a while last year the kid barely paid attention to him.But over this summer the kid started agian.Today and for the last few days at school the young man has been threatening him at school follwing him  and causing lots of problems.My son has reported him over and over but nothing seems to make him stop. I was wouldering if I get a restraing order Will the school keep this kid away from my son? I am afraid this boy is going to hurt my son.He has said he would cut him from throat to belly button on at leat two ocations.What should I do ??? Mason says these things to my son when know one can hear him say them.My son has done nothing to make this kid act like this other then have a disability.The school just tells us they are talking to him but he never gets into real trouble even though they know that mason has made threats to kill him.They say they haven't head him say them to my son it is my son word agianst masons word.Does anyone have anysugjestions for me??I would like for him to get an education and not be afrid to go to school.

okay, i actually just posted a letter to Dr. Phil.... my son is the youngest,smallest and meanest at his pre-school. he has only been there since August and has had 4 misbehavior reports sent home, from biting hitting, and smacking the teachers... he is 3. his father and I do not show aggression or play rough with him, we monitor his television viewing, so i don't know where he gets all this meanness from. Just today when we picked him up  from preschool, the teacher said he did not want to listen to her or the other teachers so he hauled off and hit her in the stomach.... he is a good kid ( most of the time) but you are right size doe not matter... we thought we would have to teach him to stick up for himself because he is a smaller kid. and he wares glasses, ya know how kids can be cruel. he has had a few times when a child bit him too. but i am just curios ,,,,,, where does he get this from????is this a normal 3 yr old?? we constantly tell him not to hit, and hitting is not nice. he repeats it , but doesn't follow through, and i know he is only 3, i sure as heck don't want him acting like this when he is older..he is an only child , but we do not let him get his way all the time. we spank on a rare occasion, but hitting back when you get hit teaches what?? nothing he even hits me sometimes and i look at him an say we don't hit i do put him in time out for 3 minutes, i usually have to hold him as he kicks and screams the whole time... i do wish you the best with your son,,, i will say a prayer for you.... its been awhile sine Ive been on here, maybe by time summer is over, he will be taller than the other guy. if not hopefully it gets better.i not one for eye for an eye, ya know you hit me and i hot back, there is already enought violence in this world , we all should set a better example for our kids generation, because i will be a senior citizen in 30 yrs and it scares the hell out of me to think some of these kids are gonna be in charge of the  government. GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!!!

  Today at school it was a half day.My son did not see mason.But one of his friends went up to my son and told him he would get him.My son was shoved seveal times by the boy and the young boy threw punches at my son.My son held his binder in front of him.then hit the boy with his binder.the adults came to the rescue.My son was told by a teacher he might be in trouble because you are not allowed to defend yourself.He was told to let the boy hit him and walk away..Like that is the answer.I asked my son if the boy who caused the problem is in trouble He said they were going to have a talk with him.I know how this works.I don't know if Mason got  suspended for  awhile or if he was just sick.I am afraid if it was just a short suspention he will come back even worse on david or if this young man has now gotten his friends to do his dirty work.