Topic : Co-Parenting

Can anyone help me?  What is a good age that a child could stay home alone while the parents are working? 

My husband and I separated in 2002.  Within litterally a day or two he began to see women who are much younger then him.  He had a different girl every day it seemed.  I asked him not to continually drag women in and out of my sons life.  Only introduce him to them if he gets serious about one.  My son was 9 years old at the time and was struggling with our break up.  SInce then, My 35 year old husband has made one bad choice after another.  He let my 16 year old niece and her frineds party over at his house.  Lied to her parents about it.  He also started having sex with a 17 year old niece of one of his coworkers.  Her mother called me to inform me that he was molesting her. He moved out of the county to avoid having her very upset uncles find him. The girl recently turned 18 and last week moved in with him.  They each have a "myspace" . His talks about drinking partying and porn.  Hers are fairly nude pictures and links to lesbian porn sites.  Am I being to harsh by not wanting my now 12 year old in that environment?  His dad is allowed to come and see him any time, but considering his track record with my niece, having my niece sneak his 17 year old girlfriend out of her parents house to have sex while the other minor children party at his house, and the call from the mother of the  young girl, am I being over protective?   

I honestly think it depends on the child.  Some children are more mature then others. I won't let my 12 year old stay home alone yet.  He has a little growing up to do.  I think you will know when its time.  Good Luck! 

I have a son who is 10 years old and  I also seperated from his Dad in 2002.  Luckily I haven't had to worry too much, because he never comes to pick him up and take him for his visitation. I worry the kind of life he lives would confuse my son also, if my son had to witness what he does in his relationships with his female friends.  Your ex-husband is not offering a suitable environment for your son. Children at your son's age are very influenced by their fathers and their behavior. If you want your son to have healthy ideas about relationships it might be best to seek a professional counselor to help you with this situation. I personally feel that I would want to get legal advise and see if it's best to have supervised visitation and not allow your son to stay over night until the father can show more responsible behavior. The actions of your ex husband can actually harm your son if he is witnessing how your ex is living. I would seek a professional counselor to get some help with this. It is always best to get legal advise also,  so your son is protected.  It is your job as a parent to protect your children, so do all that you can in order to do that. Good Luck to you and your son.

Well their are two answers to this question. 1- You would need to call the local police department to find out what the legal age is in your state to make sure you are not breaking any laws and get yourself in trouble and have your child taken away. 2- It all depends on the child and what their maturity level is. What state are you in? Is it because of financial means that you are looking for your child to stay home?

I have two 12 year old boys and their would be no way I would want them around that type of environment. Has his attitude changed at all? Do you feel he is being affected by the choices his father is making? If so I would suggest taking some action. Young boys are very influential at that age.

Trust your instincts!!
Your son doesn’t deserve need to be confused by this type of environment. His father is either having a mid-life crisis a bit early, or this is his true nature all along and he was able to hide it from you.

 

I have been dating the same man for almost 2 years. I have three children. He has one biological child, and two step children that have been in his life for 10 years now. We also have one on the way, due any day now.

I am in the middle of moving into his home with my youngest child who is eight. My other two have chosen to live with their father.

We have all the children every other weekend.

My main problem is that I am starting to feel that he is singling out my youngest son, and no matter what he does he is being spoken to about his behavior.

His bio daughter is very emotionally immature, and very much a "tattle tale". She is hardly ever spoken to or punished for her actions. Even though she may be the one antagonizing my youngest.

There is only one year between the two kids, she is seven, my son is eight.

She is very much a daddys girl, and is very spoiled by his parents. She tells people she is a spoiled brat! Emootionally, people think she is about four years old. Baby talk is common for her, she cries over the littlest things, and she still has a "blankie" that she not only sleeps with, but carries here and there. She also sucks on the corners of it. I have tried to keep the blankie in her room, ONLY for bed! Yet her father says it comforts her. SO he does not have an issue with her carrying it around.

I need help.... how do I aproach her father about the blankie thing, and how can I make him see that he is singling out my youngest? Should they both be punished? One for acting out, and one for yelling? I feel like his daughter is never wrong in his eyes. I realize that it is easier to get upset with someone elses child. But I am starting to get upset with the way he is treating my son. It upsets me! And I feel that he is being singled out.

The minute she screams "DADDY" he jumps and assumes that my son has done something. Yet if she hits or does something her excuse is to say " it was an accident" and she only gets spoken to. I would call it a "reminder".

How can we discipline so that it is fair? And how do I help these two get along?

At age 7, having a ‘blankie’ isn’t that unreasonable. (carrying it here and there is a bit odd, but cross your fingers that she will grow out of it.) Another thing to keep in mind is this: the more attention you pay to that blankie, the more she will latch onto it. If she knows that it bugs you, then she will use it just for that purpose. This kid wants to get your irritated, she loves it.

What your family needs is a ‘hero.’ Someone who will step up and say, okay- let make a resolution and stick to it. Can you be the voice of reason? Go to your husband while the children are not there and let him know you want to have a peaceful home with children who get along. Butter him up a bit by pointing out all the things you love about him, and tell him you appreciate him…this will make it less likely that he will respond by being defensive, which will get both of you nowhere. Ask him if he has any ideas on how to get the children to get along better; because punishing and yelling aren’t working. (See, making it seem as though its his idea will make him more willing!) Tell him that you feel he singles out your son, and you want to work with him to find a way to make that not happen any more. See what he says. I hope it has a positive ending for you, because you all deserve peace in your home.

I think he was possibly this way all along.  He was always a little TOO interested in my now 17 year old niece.  I just think that for a young boy who worships the ground his father walks on, that his dad is not sending the right message.  I just dont want my son to think that the things his father is doing is right.