Topic : Co-Parenting

The father is more concerned about us getting back together than spending quality time with his daughter.  when he has come to see his 5 month old girl, there is so much tension and stress in The air that the baby is way uncomfortable.  She is not herself, and she is scared of his presence.  Just looking at him scares her!  What is that? 

He is now paying child support and is very upset about that, probably because he has another daughter out there who is13 that he pays for.  Mind you he never tries to see her.  "But this one is different" he says, referring to my girl. 

I have had to change my phone number  twice because he harasses me and threatens me. He definitely tries to cause drama,  if I let him   One minute he is real nice and then he turns evil when I am not nice back. I totally do not trust him.  Would die if he filed for visitation rights through the court and they let him take her by himself!  Oh my GOD!  I really do not know what he is capable of.  He used to be physically abusive to me, and doesn't' know the first thing about taking care of a baby. Not only that, but she is a girl, and  I do not trust anyone for that matter.

So I feel like Should let him come the OnE day a week he wants to see her just because I am afraid of the screwed up system making the shots.  I am very close to filing a protection order against him just so he will leave us alone.  I also have a ten yo boy  who has been in the middle of all this.

Should he have parenting rights just because he is biologically  her dad?  I don't want her growing up resenting me,and I don't want her growing up with broken promises from her so called dad who is never  going to be there for her when she needs him.  The man works 60-70 hr weeks, always has, always will until retirement.  Plus he moves every 3 years when the contract is up at his employment.  So right now even he lives a good hour and 45 min away. 

I have been there with my dad,and am still hoping for him to change, the 13 yo is going through it right now with him.   I do not want this baby girl to go through it.  So sad.

This was the last thing I wanted to be involed in.  Another baby by myself, and Friend of the Court.  Big fat jerk! I hate him for lying to me and hurting me, and now I have his baby!  He has delivered me with broken promises, he is 36, I don't think he is going to change now.

What is your opinion on this?  Do I let him see her?      

Ok.  I am in the live in GF who is confused about her bounderies.  I have lived with my bf for over a year and he has 3 kids who are with us part time...mostly weekends, holidays, and summers.  When the kids are at our house, I am the primary caregiver because my bf works long hours at a feed lot and farming.  I have had a lot of responsibilities with his kids and they treat me very well.  Recently, however, we got the 13 year olds grades from school and they were TERRIBLE!!  Almost flunking every class.  Mom and Dad talked about it....he talked to me.  I have a good relationship with his daughter so I emailed her to let her know how I felt.  I am a teacher, so I wanted her to hear from a teacher's point of view, as well as a friend...not a parent.  That night the ex called my bf and chewed his ear about my e-mail.  And then he was angry at me.  I told him I was just trying to show that I cared!!  And then he kicked me out.  I've looked for advice on this from many sources and have run into a lot of different opinions.  Most say I overstepped my bounderies.  But, how was I supposed to know where those bounderies were??  I am asked to do so much, and I try to hard to be a good role model in their lives, and then I am punished for what I am being asked to do.  We live like a family....but now it seems I am supposed to be nothing but a friend to them.  How do I get respect from them if I can't have any say in discipline or if they don't have to listen to me.  The daughter wasn't upset by my email....but mom sure was.  I just don't know what to do.  I may have been in the wrong, but not purposefully.  How can he punish me for overstepping a boundery that was never set??  Please help me with some good advice. 

Thanks

I would love some opinion's on whether I should move 12 hours away or not. Normally it wouldn't be a big decision but I have two girls from an ex and he sees them all the time.

I hate Florida, like hate severely. I'm not into shuttle launches, the beach, or wearing shorts on Christmas. I want to move back home to Northern Virginia where I was raised. My Dad sent me down here right before I turned 16 to live with my mom. I just turned 30, and it still doesn't feel like home.

My husband and I are talking about moving up there, like we have a million other times, and just like always I want to move but hesitate because of the girls and their Dad. They see him every weekend for an overnight stay. Although we have issues and he isn't the greatest role model, they still love him. I talked about moving with him before and he said he wouldn't stop me. I know if he got a job transfer making more money or whatever he would take it in a heartbeat. So why do I feel so guilty?

Since I am homeschooling our visitation arrangement could be very flexible, I thought about bringing them to visit like every 3 months or so for a couple weeks stay. Does that seem crazy to you? Do you think the kids would horribly resent me for taking them away from him? Should I just stay and deal with the depression of living here until the youngest of the two gils turns 18 in 13 years and then move back home? What do you think?