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Topic : 07/17 Mommy Dearest

Number of Replies: 326
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, March 31, 2006, 12:44:40 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/03/06) Marri and Jessica both want to confront their mothers, who they say were neglectful and abusive during their childhoods. Marri has put up with her mother, Marilyn's, addiction to crack cocaine for 18 years, and she's ready to shut her mom out of her life for good if she doesn't admit she has a problem and seek help for it. Marilyn says her drug use is the solution, not the problem, and she can be a good mother and still smoke crack. Then, Jessica says she had to care for herself when she was a little girl. Her mother, Deana, was never around, and when she was, she was bringing strange men home for sex. In a ploy for attention, Deana committed her daughter to a mental institution -- three times! Tired of holding in her anger, Jessica demands her mother take responsibility for what she's done. Will these daughters get some emotional closure on their painful childhoods? Share your thoughts here.

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April 3, 2006, 12:22 pm CDT

you cannot ba a good anything while doign crack

Hi everyone I am outraged that this womean hasthe audacity to sit there and say she is a good anything and she is smoking crack I fought long and hard to get off the stuff and I to this day look back and see how not so good i was at everything i did while in the midst of my addiction .  I am coming up on 4 years clean and sober and while i am still trying to make amends to my family especially my kids I go 1 day at a time and i now have control over me and not something else.  She needs to wake up and smell the coffee beore it burns.  I know a lot of people that are watching the show and feel the same thing i do.  All I have to say to her is can you say denial?
 
April 3, 2006, 12:25 pm CDT

not a crack mom, but ...

it seems like the daughter has had a pretty good life, by all appearances, and there are children who blame their parents for everything. my perception of the daughter and the mother is ... the daughter would drive me to drink, for sure. the daughter is manipulating and she should love her mother no matter what, rather than give her an ultimatum - stop or i'm out of your life. i'd say ... goodbye. it is not her daughters business what her mother chooses to do. she seems like a pretty decent person ... except .... OMG! she smokes crack. i wouldn't touch it myself, but hey, if you can't handle your drugs, don't do them. legal or not.   

  

i find it interesting that people accept prescribed drugs that change people, cause problems, etc. one example would be for someone to be prescribed medicinal marijuana (@ $3,000 per 30-day supply - marinol - i think), as opposed to smoking illegal marijuana. it is acceptable to pay up the nose for a "legal" prescription, and acceptable to be prosecuted for smoking marijuana.  

  

bottom line. people are who they are, drugs are only a part of them, part of the consequences of who they are. if i took a prescribed drug for ... let's say ... mental disease and sat on a couch all day long because the drug make me that way, it's okay. i know somebody like that. but it's okay. it's been prescribed by a doctor - this drug, that drug, let's see if this one works. 

  

in this particular case, it appears to me the mother is medicating herself appropriately, for her. i think the rest of the world should mind their own business. and the daughter can live with her choice to disown her mother.  

 
April 3, 2006, 12:37 pm CDT

OMG

I'm watching this mom who put her baby girl into a mental institution.  This girl still wants a relationship with her???  Oh Dr. Phil, please just help her get over this wicked woman.  I don't see any-life altering experience that would've changed this mother.  I'm yelling at the TV, slap her and get up and walk out!  I'm trying to be positive.... but the only good thing that will come out of that relationship will be her littled girl taking care of her  (again) when she gets older. 
 
April 3, 2006, 12:41 pm CDT

Your a great mom

Quote From: mistyc

I have a infant daughter and a step daughter that is nine. There is NOTHING and I mean NOTHING that would make me treat them this way.  The only man that they will ever see me with is there father and the only "drug" I have in the house is some codiene left over from my c-section.  I would lay down my life for my little girls. 

How dare these two creatures call themselves a mother. 

Amen!
 
April 3, 2006, 12:52 pm CDT

I wish!!!

I wish I could blame it on  my mother being a crack head gosh !!! No matter what we went thru as children one day we are all accountable for who we become. Regardless of what cards we got delt we must all agree to grow up.  

  

My mother was very abusive... To a point where I did not want children because I was afraid I would become her... 

  

BUT I AM NOT HER...... Why cause I chose to be different. WHAT GOOD DOES IT DO TO CONFRONT SOMEONE WHO SEE'S THEY ARE NOT AT FAULT. 

Doesnt it just make the feelings worse?  

  

My mom abused me beyound your deepest nightmares and I am proof that You survive without becoming a VICTIM WHO ALWAYS CRYS POOOOOOOR ME... 

  

 
April 3, 2006, 1:00 pm CDT

Seems to me that you haven't heard the whole story...

Quote From: tar723

it seems like the daughter has had a pretty good life, by all appearances, and there are children who blame their parents for everything. my perception of the daughter and the mother is ... the daughter would drive me to drink, for sure. the daughter is manipulating and she should love her mother no matter what, rather than give her an ultimatum - stop or i'm out of your life. i'd say ... goodbye. it is not her daughters business what her mother chooses to do. she seems like a pretty decent person ... except .... OMG! she smokes crack. i wouldn't touch it myself, but hey, if you can't handle your drugs, don't do them. legal or not.   

  

i find it interesting that people accept prescribed drugs that change people, cause problems, etc. one example would be for someone to be prescribed medicinal marijuana (@ $3,000 per 30-day supply - marinol - i think), as opposed to smoking illegal marijuana. it is acceptable to pay up the nose for a "legal" prescription, and acceptable to be prosecuted for smoking marijuana.  

  

bottom line. people are who they are, drugs are only a part of them, part of the consequences of who they are. if i took a prescribed drug for ... let's say ... mental disease and sat on a couch all day long because the drug make me that way, it's okay. i know somebody like that. but it's okay. it's been prescribed by a doctor - this drug, that drug, let's see if this one works. 

  

in this particular case, it appears to me the mother is medicating herself appropriately, for her. i think the rest of the world should mind their own business. and the daughter can live with her choice to disown her mother.  

How is Marri manipulating her? Did you forget that Marilyn used her 8 year old grandaughter to get more drugs? Maybe you truly haven't heard everything. Maybe you've never been involved in the kind of situation like this when you were a kid.
 
April 3, 2006, 1:00 pm CDT

04/03 Mommy Dearest

Quote From: tar723

it seems like the daughter has had a pretty good life, by all appearances, and there are children who blame their parents for everything. my perception of the daughter and the mother is ... the daughter would drive me to drink, for sure. the daughter is manipulating and she should love her mother no matter what, rather than give her an ultimatum - stop or i'm out of your life. i'd say ... goodbye. it is not her daughters business what her mother chooses to do. she seems like a pretty decent person ... except .... OMG! she smokes crack. i wouldn't touch it myself, but hey, if you can't handle your drugs, don't do them. legal or not.   

  

i find it interesting that people accept prescribed drugs that change people, cause problems, etc. one example would be for someone to be prescribed medicinal marijuana (@ $3,000 per 30-day supply - marinol - i think), as opposed to smoking illegal marijuana. it is acceptable to pay up the nose for a "legal" prescription, and acceptable to be prosecuted for smoking marijuana.  

  

bottom line. people are who they are, drugs are only a part of them, part of the consequences of who they are. if i took a prescribed drug for ... let's say ... mental disease and sat on a couch all day long because the drug make me that way, it's okay. i know somebody like that. but it's okay. it's been prescribed by a doctor - this drug, that drug, let's see if this one works. 

  

in this particular case, it appears to me the mother is medicating herself appropriately, for her. i think the rest of the world should mind their own business. and the daughter can live with her choice to disown her mother.  

How can anyone say that its her business if she wants to smoke crack.  Every thing you do in your live affects another person whether you want it to or not.  As an adult and a mother she should try to be a role model to her daughter not a crack head.  No one should have to live with that.  Whether or not she had a "good life" to your standard. Drugs are illegal for a reason.  If she has a medical or mental problem she should see a doctor they are trained to find out what is wrong.  Doctors go through school just for that reason.  How can you say that a person can medicate them selves with crack.  I feel sorry for the daughter. My son's father started smoking crack after he was born. I gave him the choice between a son and his drugs. and he chose his drugs.  You think that I should tell my son that its my fault his daddy didn't want to be around because i gave him a choice?
 
April 3, 2006, 1:13 pm CDT

Mommy Dearest Should Be Ashamed

Dr. Phil's show just started and I am ABSOLUTELY FLOORED by the statements from this mother. She needs major help. My sympathies are with her daughter and I am proud of her for making it through these tough times. It is amazing that this woman (the daughter) turned out so well.  

  

Smoking crack is ALWAYS a probelm! 

  

A mother who smokes crack is NOT being a good mom! 

  

Until this mother admits she has a problem, nothing will change. 

 
April 3, 2006, 1:17 pm CDT

Mothers and Daughters

Nothing that I ever did was right. No matter what my achievements (and I did the best and in certain things was the best) nothing was ever praised. Just expected to do at home what a mother usually would do. Cook, clean, wash, iron. I did it and when I moved away from home I was happy that I had all that experience...no matter how I hated doing it at the time. 

Getting smacked and hit, for no apparent reason is another thing. What it did for me, was teach me. What else could it do but teach me? There was no way to fight back. It taught me NOT to ever behave in that manner when I started a family of my own. 

Parents do not seem to realize what they do to children when they take out their frustrations and hatred on them. Makes one look at your grandparents and wonder where they got your mom from. 

I was fortunate to meet someone who took me so far away from my family, that if I lived forever I would not have time to thank him enough. 

At the same time I did visit as often as I could. I treated my mother with respect and love. We never spoke about her treatment of me while I was growing up and that suited me (at the time). Now that she is no longer with us, I know that we should have cleared the air. 

There were times, when I saw my mother and my two children together, and the love she showed them...that I wanted to say, as Bill Cosby said, "this woman is not the same woman who gave birth to me"...even though the water under the bridge was still trickling,  the bridge was long gone. 

Single mothers, who cannot afford to keep the baby, now have places they can safely drop the baby off. Why is there no place for a child to go, in safety, to speak to someone when they are being physically abused by a parent? Because a child is being abused, it does not mean that the child wants to be removed from the family. They just want it to stop and for the family to function in love and happiness. You can kick a dog, but that same dog will still love you after the hurt goes away. But NOT forever  if you keep kicking him. 

I leant my lesson well. I refrained from this kind of treatment in raising my two children....and love and kindness does show in both of them. That is now being transferred to my two grandchildren. With all this love, I cannot be too harsh in my feelings concerning the treatement I received.  

Who knows why my mother was the way she was.....I never thought to ask. 

I love you Mommy, I did then and always will. Perhaps now, you are watching over us. 

  

  

 
April 3, 2006, 1:20 pm CDT

OBSURD!!!

Quote From: tar723

it seems like the daughter has had a pretty good life, by all appearances, and there are children who blame their parents for everything. my perception of the daughter and the mother is ... the daughter would drive me to drink, for sure. the daughter is manipulating and she should love her mother no matter what, rather than give her an ultimatum - stop or i'm out of your life. i'd say ... goodbye. it is not her daughters business what her mother chooses to do. she seems like a pretty decent person ... except .... OMG! she smokes crack. i wouldn't touch it myself, but hey, if you can't handle your drugs, don't do them. legal or not.   

  

i find it interesting that people accept prescribed drugs that change people, cause problems, etc. one example would be for someone to be prescribed medicinal marijuana (@ $3,000 per 30-day supply - marinol - i think), as opposed to smoking illegal marijuana. it is acceptable to pay up the nose for a "legal" prescription, and acceptable to be prosecuted for smoking marijuana.  

  

bottom line. people are who they are, drugs are only a part of them, part of the consequences of who they are. if i took a prescribed drug for ... let's say ... mental disease and sat on a couch all day long because the drug make me that way, it's okay. i know somebody like that. but it's okay. it's been prescribed by a doctor - this drug, that drug, let's see if this one works. 

  

in this particular case, it appears to me the mother is medicating herself appropriately, for her. i think the rest of the world should mind their own business. and the daughter can live with her choice to disown her mother.  

Your remarks are obsurd! How can you say "the daughter would drive me to drink, for sure"? While you might blame your own child for such a thing, it is NEVER the child's responsibilty! It is your own responsibility. A child does not MAKE their parent do anything! 

  

You also said: "she should love her mother no matter what, rather than give her an ultimatum." Hello! Who is the mother and who is the daughter here? The mother should love her children enough not to expose them to such things! 

 
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