Topic : 07/17 Mommy Dearest

It's sad these two young women got into the wrong parent line, I did as well.    

All I could do with that was make sure my future babies didn't get into the wrong parent line.  When I was 2, my mother beat me with a fly swatter because she said I was too clingy.  She siad that cleared the problem right up. She hasn't spoken a word to me in 11 years now.  She got raised broke, so she turned around and broke me.  I had my 2 year old run to me for a hug, and I imagined picking up a fly swatter and beating that trust and love right out of her and I felt so incredibly sorry for myself!  For me personally, the best way to heal my hurt is to provide the childhoodl for my child that I deserved for myself.    

After watching today's show, I am sickened and saddened by the low life, loser mothers who tried to defend themselves after being such awful parents.  You could tell that Marilyn was either high on the show, or has just done so many drugs that her brain is permanently scrambled; in my opinion, Marri needs to cut off all communications with her mother (which is easier said than done, I know).  Marilyn cannot be trusted, and absolutely does not deserve to have any part of her daughter's or granchildren's lives.  Marri seems like a wonderful woman, and owes it to herself to have a wonderful life exclusive of her crack head mother.   

Deana and Jessica's situation really struck a nerve with me; I absolutely cannot fathom the hell that Jessica has gone through.  First of all, Deana's mom was on the show, and I'm wondering why in the world she did not manage to get full custody of Jessica when she was younger.  Not that I blame Jessica's grandmother, but she watched all of this go on, and I feel that she could have stepped up a little more during all of those years.  Deana does not deserve one ounce of her daughter's attention, and although Dr. Phil was fairly hard on Deana, I wish he would have given Jessica the same advice that he did Marri (cutting off communications, etc).  Putting your child into a mental institution?  Bringing men home for sex and drugs?  Not taking care of her in any capacity, physically or emotionally?  I saw no sincerity in that pathetic- excuse- for- a- mother's face, and I see no reason for Jessica to continue to leave it to her mother to heal her wounds.  Hopefully Jessica can heal from other sources and move on, because she would be so much better off without this cancer in her life. 

Today, I am so thankful for the people I have in my life, especially my mother.  Parents are supposed to not only take care of their children, but also protect them from harm; these mothers today have not only failed to take care of their daughters, but have also been the source of all of their pain and harm.  I can't wait until I have children, when I will hopefully be the complete opposite type of mother that we have seen today on Dr. Phil.  I love you, mom! 

I think the daughter has put up with enough from her mother sometimes in life it is very necessary to just walk away and never return the mother keeps calling her back as well as the grandmother one person can only do so much and be hurt so many times I have gone to a preacher and asked the same question honer thy mother and father only goes so far and a mother can brake that and the sounds of this this mother broke that when she was a child and she has made herself a woman with no help from the so called mother figure she had in her life and she should hold her head up for her and her children everyday and be as proud as she can be.She made something of her self and shes no worthless drug addict  looking for someone to blame. They always look for someone to blame and honey you don't have to be her flunky any longer you are a self sufficent women and having this kinda mother you do not need trust be i have been right where you are and i have had to make alot of the same decisions  it's hard but living with the feeling of blame is harder.  i wish you all the luck in the world .  

     The story about Jessica, it was a similar circumstances, except there is 3 of us children involved.  I do understand the way Jessica comes out to be towards her mother I don't blame her.  But unlike Jessica, has much has i wish I could be headstrong with my mother, it is still to this day hard to be cold towards her.  Because I always put my mother a head of my own needs no matter the consequences, cause I taught my mother was the best there was till I finally grew up and realize what was really going on. and above all I still would do anything to understand why My mother is the way she is towards me today. I am almost 27 in May, still I battle with these???>?>marks why?how?where? what did I do to you?To deserve this?  And now I am afraid to what me and my siblings went trough. That now my nephews,twins almost 2 and nephew turning 6years old are going to go trough, maybe not in the same way that I did because I know that my brothers love their children, but no child deserves to go trough life the way I did . Likely like Jessica, became the person  she is today because she did it on her own, not to repeat the same mistakes that her mother made.  So on this note, all we can do is help and do the best we can, so that when we do have children, that they can look up to us and be proud. 

My mom and brother are both recovering drug addicts (crack and cocaine). My mom has been clean for 18 years or so, my brother for about a year and a half. I am very proud of this because I know the stuggle it was for both of them to get clean. I saw the drug abuse in my home daily for a very long time. I know what the signes are and I know what a person on crack cocaine acts like. The woman on the show today said that she can smoke crack and still be a good mom. I disagree completely. My mom wasn't part of my life because of her drug use, and if she ever relapsed and was back on drugs, I would take my children and walk away. Same thing with my brother. But I also know what it took to get my mom and brother clean. My mom lost her kids, her family, and all of her friends before she got cleaned up. My brother lost his son, his freedom and his family before he got clean. I understand that you have to hit bottom before you realize what it has done to your life, but on the same hand, you can't hit bottom with your family craddling you in their arms telling you it is all okay. NO ONE CAN DO IT FOR YOU. You have to do it yourself. I don't think that this woman will clean up her act and live drug free until she loses something as valuable as her daughter. And if she doesn't get clean then, than the daughter (and her kids) are better off elsewhere.  

To say your way of thinking is kind of out there is putting it midly.  How can Marri have a good life when: 

1.)  Her mother is a crack head and ADMITS she was 

2.)  Child was home alone many times - This is the mothers JOB to make sure her children are fed, have a roof over their head, are loved and are SAFE 

3.)  Her brother has a record of jail time, drugs, etc. 

There is no law that states you should love the human who gave you life.  Any female body can give life, but that does NOT make you a mother.  It is everyone's business when the mother's behavior, habits or lifestyle AFFECTS the other lives she is responsible for.   

Marri's mother CHOOSES to take the crack.  The mother you described in your post as taking a "prescribed" drug for a mental disease and sits on a couch all day, did not CHOOSE to be afflicted with the disease.  Yes, I too, had a father who was bipolar with maniac depression, but I tried to understand it was a disease he did not want or ask for. 

We, the rest of the world are NOT GOING TO MIND OUR OWN BUSINESS.  We, care about the well being of children.  We will report people like Marilyn who mistreat their children.  We will testify against people like her.  We will ensure children of these types of parents are not allowed to parent innocent lives and to destroy more Marri's in the world. 

And just food for thought....WHY WHY WHY......do women like Marilyn lay down and have sexual intercourse and get pregnant when they know they really don't want to be bothered with the true sacrifices it takes to be a loving giving caring parent.  Get your tubes tied, use the depo shot, but QUIT HAVING BABIES!!!  It is obvious from her time on Dr Phil, Marilyn really has no use in the past, present or future for children or grandchildren.   

I commend Marri for what life she had growing up, to be this close to obtaining her master's.  How many children from the kind of home life she has had can say that???