Topic : 06/09 Loving Dumb

Would you like to know why women, "dump" is that the chosen word --men?  SHE'S not into him! 

The difference is that there is usually, not always, some kind of explanation. 

This dumper with no explanation--and it doesn't have to be long and drawn out--with no explanation, is now moving on to his net prey,  Might I note, dumper did the woman a favor. 

Remember, word of mouth.  If a friend/friends of dumpee runs into you and you say "hey, I'd  really like to get to know her. 

What do you think the dumpee will say about you?????  Probably something like this;  that's the one that has no kahunas! 

How's that for a subject?  Been out of town and I specifically  paid for a room for my laptop.  Holiday Inn, last room because they're still repairing from Hurricane Rita. Very frustrating, my hookup to my laptop dumped me!!!! 

Back to reality.  From your original message, I really didn't know what gender you are, makes no difference.  Whether you are male or female, whomever gave not even a peep or a "see ya, didn't work out", that would be the dumper.  In my opinion, in order to learn and maybe get some kind of idea of why he/she was dumped, then the dumper with no explanation is immature or doesn't want to face it or possible even may not want to hurt the dumpee's feelings. 

I've just always been a communicator.  If it's going to hurt someones feelings, then maybe the dumper can think of something close to the truth in order that the dumpee can fix it for next time. 

I tend to confuse people, hence my user name. 

       My husband and I were having problems , he was wanting a divorce, but still living in our home. He started going out with his friends and drinking alot, he slept with a woman at the bar. After that happened he says he realizes that isn't the life he wants and wants to work  on our marriage. He has been great and has not drank for 6 weeks. I still have a hard time thinking of him being with someone else . What should I do?/ 

 It was by chance that I got to see today's show. I thought that today's segment was very interesting as I can not seem to keep a relationship going. I was married very early on and divorced 5yrs and 3 children later. I have been in two longterm relationships since then but both relationships did not end up with commitments. I do not understand what I am doing wrong. I have a very strong spirit and I am afaid that I scare them away. 

That's a tough one.  How long were you married to this man and are there any children? 

My husband and I are in a rut, after 19 years, I believe he's been faithful, but am not dumb enough to be surprised if he wasn't.  I have totally been faithful.  In body, that is.  Because even thinking about sleeping with someone else is infidelity. 

Of course you would have a hard time thinking about him being with someone else, that would be my biggest problem also. 

It takes a strong, big hearted woman to take someone back who has done this.  I truly believe people can make a mistake and feel horrid about it and can change.  This call his yours, you have to live with him and if choose so, forgive him, even though you'll have that picture in your mind. 

You obviously love him or you wouldn't have asked for help.  I believe if he's worthy of you, then he should do anything you request of him to save you marriage.  Counseling for what he did, and counseling for what you're dealing with.  

That's only what I would do, and I'm real big on faithfulness.  We are mere mortals and a sin is a sin.  We all deserve forgiveness.  If it was only once. 

I would also begin really ramping up my looks, whatever you have to work with, a new outfit or two.  Confidence in yourself, don't let him think he's broken you for good.  Rekindle, and no game playing. 

I so wish you luck.  My previous went out on me, I did nothing and  I was miserable, I took on all the blame.  The divorce ripped up my self esteem, but I learned. 

Final note, have yourself tested for any STD's before getting in the sheets again.  
Best wished on your ordeal  and I hope all turns out o.k.