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Topic : 07/25 Plastic People

Number of Replies: 780
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Created on : Friday, March 31, 2006, 12:53:50 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/06/06) Dr. Phil speaks to people who are searching for the perfect body. Gina admits to an obsession with plastic surgery and has a long wish list of procedures she'd like to have done in her quest for perfection. Her fiancé, Jason, finds her the picture of perfection and says she needs to stop. With their wedding on the horizon, second thoughts are creeping into Jason's mind. Then, Michael's wife, Christy, repulses him and he can't even kiss her. Christy is trying to lose weight so she can look attractive for her husband, but his repulsion makes her feel unworthy. Should Christy lose weight and try to look more like a model, or should Michael accept her just the way she is? Talk about the show here.

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April 6, 2006, 8:00 am CDT

Been there

The interview with Christy and Michael really strikes a chord with me.  I was married to a man who was obsessed with fat, both on him and on me.  I'm 5'4"; the most I ever weighed when I was married to him was 130.  But he made me feel that I was morbidly obese.  I was young and idealistic when I married, unequipped to recognize the destructive pattern of his behavior as he began harping on me about my weight.  His idea of a good weight for me was 115.  Since I couldn't reach and maintain that, I never felt that I was pretty enough.  Every argument, regardless of the foundation, always came back to my weight.  And I accepted it.  I allowed him to damage my image of myself and destroy my self-esteem.  Out there in the world I came across as a confident, professional woman; at home, inside, I was full of insecurities.  Fortunately for my mental health, he decided to divorce me after 18 years.  While I was initially devastated, that started me on a healing journey.  I began to realize that others did not judge my worth by my weight.  And, best of all, I met a wonderful man who loved me so completely, so well, that he helped heal a lot of old scars.  At the time I met him, I weighed more than I ever had while married; but he thought I was beautiful -- because he saw "me."  Now I really do struggle with my weight, but my concerns come from a desire to be healthy, not from any feelings of personal unworthiness.  Get professional counseling, Christy.  You cannot change Michael or his attitude; that's his problem.  But you can come to recognize your own worth and understand that you are a beautiful person regardless of your weight.  Good luck!
 
April 6, 2006, 8:04 am CDT

04/06 Plastic People

Quote From: tcfd32

You know what, this is nothing more than a man bashing forum. I have been married for 15 yrs to my wife and she has gained a few lbs after 2 kids and I find her just  as sexy as the day we met. I dissagree with the statements that all men want runway models, and if we say we dont we are liars. Some of us do appreciate the curves  that a woman has to offer and we do Love our wives for other things than thier body. I have stuck with her  through good times and  bad times, through her cancer and surgeries and any other hardships that have came about, just as she has stuck by my side. I woulndt dream of ever telling her she needs to lose weight for ME ! She is who I married and who I will stay with untill the good Lord takes us to a higher plain. Also,  I still look at her with the same fire I did 16 yrs ago. So get over the hate and look for a guy who is true to his heart, for he will than be true to yours.
Some are bashing men yes, but from what I've read to this point most are Micheal specific.  Men who aren't like this especially men who have already found the love of their lives have no need to be offended.  It's good to know all men aren't like that.  My husband isn't either and if he is he hides it well.  Then again I've been pregnant since we got married 3 1/2 years ago.  If he's just keeping it to himself it's a smart move.  I can't wait to not be pregnant anymore.  I love our children to pieces, but I was dreaming of sleeping on my stomach last night.  As for the plastic issue....my goodness....after the list is complete I have no doubt that Gina would have a new list.  I don't want to age either, but it will happen.  Has anyone seen the pictures of the older women who have had multiple plastic surgeries.  It's scary.  They should have tougher screening for plastic surgery and what the patient is expecting to gain from the surgery.  And as far as having Gina's nose FIXED because one side is crooked (isn't the same as the other)  the human face is not symmetrical.  Their are supposed to be subtle differences.  GINA your nose is fine LEAVE IT ALONE!!  Maybe you should get rid of all your mirrors so you can't pick yourself apart.
 
April 6, 2006, 8:09 am CDT

About the last couple on todays show.

I was watching, or listening rather, to The Dr. Phil show today while I was in another room. I heard the couple speaking about the issue of his unhappiness with the way his wife looked.  I listened to his wife, I heard the things she said, I could identify with her struggle. I went into the room where the show was on just before it ended and looked at the TV expecting to see someone who was hard to look at. I could not believe it, that girl was beautiful! When all I could do was hear her from the other room I already knew she was beautiful on the inside. I thought she sounded like a person we need more of in this world. I have to say, she talked of herself in a way that had me thinking she was surely unattractive. I was shocked as well as sad. I wish both the husband and the wife (don't recall their names) all the strength in the world to work through their issues. I also think from my own experience that some people don't respond very well to harsh critisism. I believe that he should try looking at his wife for real, and realize how lucky he is to have a beautiful partner in life, inside and out. Sometimes knowing you are truely loved by someone  is all you need to want to be a better person for that person, and yourself.
 
April 6, 2006, 8:12 am CDT

04/06 Plastic People

Quote From: bejae_pas

If this first female on todays show could walk a week in my shoes.........  I have had to have 2 modified radical vulvectomies due to vulvar cancer, instead of a Radical Vulvectomy, because I didn't want to lose that part of me that was so defining of being female.  I no longer have that part of me because through the 2 surgeries I ended up losing all of that...  If  she only knew how much self-esteem this has taken from me I bet she would think differently....   I am 49 years old and have never been married and now throw this cancer into the equation and dating is even less.  Men run when they hear what I have gone through and what all it has caused....  Yes, I am in the attempt of having Reconstructive Surgery but this is for ME not for some man....   Let her walk in the shoes of a cancer patient, a burn patient, a person who has been in a serious accident; I bet they would love to have a face lift, a tummy tuck, a brow lift, etc......  And you know what?  This first female on the show today may already be beautiful but I will take all of these other people over her because these people are truly beautiful people without botox, lypo or whatever else there may be...  Why can't she see the beauty inside of her?  That is what makes the outer part beautiful.  I had heard this all of my life and never understood what it meant until I was diagnosed with cancer and went through all that I have.  I am beautiful inside and if someone can't except me for who I am then no amount of plastic surgery is going to change their opinion.   I hope this all made sense!!!!   
Makes perfect sense and one of my thoughts during the show was that her fiance should take her to some of the recovery areas.  Gina definitely does have self confidence issues.  She's not nearly alone, or plastic surgeons wouldn't have such profitable businesses.   
 
April 6, 2006, 8:12 am CDT

not always the case

 miss beauty today on your show upset me today when i know there are alot of ladies would like to keep them selfs better maintaned but simply can not afford the up keep some people live in realality you dont have to have your nails done every week to be beautiful or wear makeup .     Thank you 
 
April 6, 2006, 8:18 am CDT

christy and michael

   Michael needs to learn to be supportive instead of nagging.  Christy would then be more inspired to actually stick to a healthier diet and exercise program.   If Michael wanted a woman who weighed as much as Christy does, he would have married one.  Women who gain almost 100 lbs after they are married should expect their husbands to not be pleased.  After the video clip of her dipping her food in butter, she sat there and swore she diets. Dr Phil missed a good opportunity to tell her to her face she lies about 'trying' to lose weight.  

 
April 6, 2006, 8:22 am CDT

I am confused

Quote From: killerb255

Are you lumping all men into the same category?  If so, that's the wrong way to handle this, and you've basically become a sexist.  (Sexism doesn't just refer to men stereotyping women, ya know...)  I'm a guy, and I'm actually offended by that statement.   

  

I understand that your husband was a jerk, but don't use him as the absolute benchmark for all men out there.  Not all of us judge women solely by looks.   

  

...then again, from what I've seen, the few men, such as myself, that aren't so shallow are often depicted as "dorky," "unattractive," or "weak-spirited," as opposed to "agressive," "popular," orotherwise "attractive." 

Yes, I do agree that I have seriously become a sexist. Everyone has always told me that I am sooo beautiful. I have always dated men who I felt an emotional connection to. That means that alot of these guys were dorky, unattractive, and otherwise unpopular. Basicly, because on the inside that is who I was. Unfortunately, they always get a boost of ego and become someone else and begin to belittle me. Now I am 31 and my social skills have soared. To people on the outside (so I've seen and heard) I'm like the perfect girl. They don't realize what I really feel like. I'ts one thing to be super cool in public. I'ts totally different to be that way in every day life. I am downright unable to get lovingly involved with a man. I know they are visually enticed and I really don't feel that attractive anyway, no matter what people say to me. I feel like it's just a ploy. Sometimes I see women who aren't real pretty, but they are laughing, cooking, joking, and just living the everyday husband loving life. I really do feel jealous. I have no problem rustling up the men I have a problem trusting them. Now I feel doomed to spend forever alone. I do know one man who is forever faithful to his wife. They are true christians and do not have a television in their home. I think the world has been subjected to a terrible thing.
 
April 6, 2006, 8:27 am CDT

04/06 Plastic People

Quote From: leslie2727

Who is going to be the one to tell Christie that she is obese?  I am so tired of hearing I have tried every diet and it does not work.  It is very simple.  If you consume 3000 calories and do not exercise, it shall turn into fat.  You cut back your calorie intake and exercise religiously, the weight will come off. 

  

I can't believe Dr. Phil did not point this out.  You are not doing Christie any favors by not pointing out diet and exercise do work. 

At the same time it is very hard for someone who is constantly being told you need to do this your to heavy.  For me it was a different family member and it was 2 weeks after giving birth to my first child.  I would ask if she would watch my daughter (after 4 weeks cause the dr told me not to start running again until then) while I went running.  The response I would get was sure if you're really going to do it.  It was always "you're not going to stick to it"  "you're not going to stick to that diet"  and eventually I boiled over and told her how discouraging she was being, that I needed positive support or for her to say nothing at all because other wise I simply wanted to rebel.  It also left me eating food after she went to bed late at night because I hated eating around her which most people know is a no no for any diet.  Then I found out that the "healthy diet"  wasn't helping me lose any weight because I was drinking too much juice.  I was drinking water as well, but most juices (even the 100%) contain a whole lot of sugar (even if only natural) and just as many carbs (which when not used turn to fat.  Christies self esteem needs more work than her weight and that is probably why Dr Phil didn't get into the diet and exercise with her.  Not only that, but she doesn't know her genetic medical history and very well could have a disorder that prevents exercise and diets from working.  Those disorders and what not are very real.  Don't bash others because you are lucky enough as am I not to be effected by them.
 
April 6, 2006, 8:29 am CDT

I have PCOS also

Quote From: miller1978

I felt so bad hearing Christy's story.  If Christy or anyone close to her reads this, please tell her to look into a disorder called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome if she has not already. This disorder causes extreme weight gain in women & other heath problems. It needs to be controlled with the help of a doctor. My sister had it & was only able to find out by going to a fertility specialist. After she was diagnosed she lost 100 lbs in 1 year! Good luck, I hope this gets to her. And her husband needs to have a little more respect for her by the way.,

I kept getting bigger and bigger no matter how much I exercised or dieted.  When I had trouble getting pregnant I was diagnosed with PCOS.  I started taking Glucophase and I lost 10 pounds wirthin a few weeks.  Now that I've had the baby I continue to lose with very little effort. 

The thing about PCOS is that it causes your body to retain weight so diet and exercise is ineffective. 

  

 
April 6, 2006, 8:30 am CDT

i agree

Quote From: powers009

I think every woman wants to look better. I also think that first before getting a procedure like plastic surgery she should try everything within her own power to look better and then if all else fails plastic surgery should be the last alternative. She should do it for herself because if she does it to impress someone else she will resent that person and will never be happy with herself. Love yourself first and then if you want to tweak your image here or there go for it.

  

  

I agree with you. My husband loves me the way I am ,it is me that wants to make some changes for me. I don`t think that is selfish. I just want to look the best that I can,at 45. 

 
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