Topic : 07/25 Plastic People

One thing I would like to add to the discussion is that women shouldn't blame the media or men, per say for their self image.  I think self image has a lot to do with how we are raised.  If a child sees their parents constantly primping, hearing body put-downs, or talking about their self image, it rubs off on the children.  I've heard many times from men, "Well my mother kept the house clean constantly, or my mother had a hot meal on the table--that is what their mother chose to put emphasis on, so that's what their sons expect from their wives-not every time, but I think it occurs a lot.  Same if the mother is constantly putting emphasis on her weight, staying slim, their offspring will expect it from their mates.     

WE DO NOT want our kids to grow up and think they are not worth anything if they don't look a certain way.  Don't put so much emphasis on looks, put more emphasis on how you treat others.  Kids are not taking guns to school for fun, its because they are hurt by bullying and teasing, because, guess what-they don't look a certain way.  

  

I know I have rambled a bit, infused more topics into this, but does anybody get what I'm getting at here?  Does anybody else think that this stuff ties together somehow?  

  

  

What gets me to, is what if your son or daughter would get disfigured in a car accident-injuries that were not repairable with surgery.  Would they just give up and die?  Or would they fight and learn self-acceptance.  Our jobs as parents are to gear children up to survive and thrive, not wilt and fall over because of a big nose or floppy ears. 

I AGREE with your definition of love.  Love changes, initially it is based on physical attraction, but it deepens over time and evolves.  Things happen, children, job changes, and it changes our bodies-the shape changes.  Therefore, if the relationship wouldn't change, it would likely. 

I just wanted to say, on behalf of woman who do chose to go under the knife, I think it can be beneficial for some woman to have some plastic surgery. Let me explain....In my case I had a set of twin girls that caused my stomach to stretch so large that I ended up with a "lot" of loose skin after pregnancy. I was also someone who didn't have very high self esteem to begin with, therefore this just added to my problem. I went under the knife a couple of years ago and had a "tummy tuck" to get rid of the extra skin and some stretch marks. In my case the surgery and some help from my new husband, has enabled me to send my self esteem through the roof. I'm not one to just keep finding things wrong with my body although I'm sure in a lot of mens eyes there are plenty of things wrong. I believe as long as I am happy with who I am and what I look like I don't care what others think. My husband didn't want me to have the surgery done he loved me the way I was...That just helped me know even more that I was doing this for myself and not to impress someone else..All in all the surgery was the best thing I had done for myself in many years. What I am trying to say is that plastic surgery, if done for the right reason, can be a good thing.

Even though this show is a re-run and I missed it the first time, these people should come to my job which is for Rockland BOCES.  I work with disabled children both emotional and serverly handicap.  Although most of these children do not even know what is going on around them they are the happiest people you ever want to meet. 

  

Tell them that growing old gracefully is no disgrace.  I am 60 yrs old, I have decided to let my hair go salt and pepper I am pretty reasonable shape for my age and as I always say age is just a number and I am glad to get this far. 

  

Maryann DiGioia 

I will agree that I think Gina is way too obsessed with the whole plastic surgery thing, yet the one thing that really got me was when she stated she wanted vaginal reconstruction.  I have had vaginal reconstruction, not by choice but by Doctor error causing the area to break down, and let me just say that it was the most painful and most horrible experience I have had, and I have been through a lot.  Vaginal reconstruction ruins a lot down there and the scarring is unbelievable.  The sex is painful and there are just so many other problems that come with it.  I had this surgery eight years ago and I still have pain and problems.  I wonder if anyone has brought it to Gina's attention that what if one of these surgeries goes wrong, then how beautiful will she feel?

  

I was always teased in high school for my looks. I couldn't shave my legs until I was 16 ( my mom's rules)... couldn't wear a bra until I was 15. My mom wouldn't get me the braces for my teeth that I so desperatly wanted. I never fit in. Pretty soon people started really making fun of me. I got really depressed and started to gain weight. When they started pantsing me in front of the high school assemblies and guys were saying how gross i was... I new I needed to really make changes.  It started an obsession over what I looked like.  

  

I didn't have my first REAL boyfriend until I was 20. ( I am now 25) He was always telling me how ugly I was. How I didn't have nice boobs or a nice butt. He wouldn't let me hang around his friends. We didn't even go out in public. I had worked really hard to lose weight and make myself attractive. It wasn't enough. He eventually cheated on me and that crushed me because I thought I wasn't good enough.  

  

So now... I have spent the last five years obsessing to the point of not eating for days at a time. Being completely jealous of any and every girl I see... which is taking a toll on my currant relationship with a really great guy because I constantly accuse him of looking at another girl or wanting to be with her. I cry myself to sleep because I never feel happy with myself. I tan every day because that is the kind of skin that turns heads. I wear tons of make up to hide the monster that has been created in my head. I have my nails done so much that my own nails are sick and starting to not grow. I go to the gym a lot. Take fat burning pills... that really don't make me feel really well. My boyfriend is upset because I want a face lift and breast implants and botox. I want my make up tattooed on.  

  

And the strange thing is... I know that won't make me happy. But I won't be happy until I do it.  I can't stop thinking about it. Everyday I think up ways to try and change myself. To make myself more appealing.  

  

It's a sickness that I can NOT control. And people can laugh all they want and they can make comments all they want about how you have to love yourself and whatever, but it's easier said than done. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!! I honestly am sick to my stomach every day about it. That's one of the reason's I joined this website... to seek help. It is going to destroy my relationship with a great man if I don't fix it. I really feel for the women who feel they have to do the things I do... It's like a bad disease with no cure... 

First of all, Christy is beautiful! Her husband is a jerk and no self respecting, healthy woman would want to be with him after that show!!! If she wants to lose weight, she needs to do it because SHE wants to feel better not for HIM to feel better. He said, "I'm married to her, and that's the way it is" not bc "I love her." Any man you want to be with needs to love you for who you are, not what you could be or he wants you to be. I've been in that kind of relationship before. I would rather be alone and happy for the rest of my life than spend one day in a marriage where someone puts me down like  that!    

   

I have not one thing against plastic or reconstructive surgery. It's not for me though. Seriously, who cares what other people think? I am happy with me inside and out. I am far from perfect but that makes me me. People who put others down are just shallow and don't deserve to be in your life.    

   

Christy...don't you dare get plastic surgery, if you want to lose weight, do it on your own terms.    

  

Whether she has gained 100 lbs, lost 50  lbs, etc., he needs to reflect upon the vows.  The standard stuff can be a pretty stiff contract. 

  

Let's put the let's look at things from the other viewpoint: 

  

Suppose he were to slip on the ice (just walking) or someone runs a red light, and <poof>, he's in a wheelchair, 90% of his life becomes dependent upon him.  Just how happy will he be about her willingness be if she decides to stay around? 

  

I attended a small university ini the mid-East.  This sounds really trite, but there were guys who used the word "investment" which they believed would just be knock-out stunner should she walk into a room.  Catch up with them when theyre jogging and start talking, siting with them in the dining commons, etc. 

  

Good or bad, most of the guys would keep those they went after because they learned so much about the girls and found out the physical were just as stunning in the big picture. 

  

As far as the focus as food goes, he's creating such a terribly emphasis upon the food and she's so concerned with every calorie to where she locks up.  Think of it as driving with a stick shift (if you know how to do it) once in awhile.  Take someone out to an empty parking lot and let them have a few tries.  They'll become so focused on not popping the clutch that they forget upon how to actually perform the task at hand.  It may take five or six tries, but if you encourage them carefully the next four or five times, then keep your mouth shut until they voice frustration, then give them some more feedback|frustration., showing them what to think about when they're doing something, then sitting back and watch.  **Let them teach you what you're wanting to be taught 

 

If you don't know, then this is something you can learn together.  

  

We're closing in on twenty years and it took a long time to learn how to do it as a team. She knows how to do the step-by-step and that drives me nuts. I improvise.  And if my improvisation doesn't work, she sees what I do and can convert it as a step-by-by-step. 

  

This weekend - the previous 24-48 hours, we had a criticical door lock break.she managed to tell me while we were takinig terms mowing and I walked in and closed the door behind me.  Oops. Now I was locked with no tools avaiable until she realized I wasn't coming out and likely did what I did: lock myself in and she had to rescue me, then fix the lock. 

  

I still insist getting car & all doors for her, pump the gas for her, etc. 

  

The way I finder her is like this:  I gave a God a shopping list and He laughed and said, "Trust me, I'll be right back.  And I found out my requests were so short I couldn't have imagined for the things I got." 

Hey at least Christy gets sex with her hubby. Mine won't go near me. He tells me hugging me is like putting his arms around a man. I have gained 55 lb in the past 15 yrs of being married and having 2 children. My first baby was 11 1/2 lbs. I still haven't gotten over that one and that was 14 yrs ago. The more he tells me I'm fat, lazy, ugly, stupid...... the more I eat. However, not in front of him. I sneak my food. I hide out in my bedroom. The one I share with NO ONE. He hasn't slept in the same room as me in 14 years. Said my snoring keeps him awake.  The other thing I hear all the time is if I EVER cheated on him with another man he'd kill me.  So where does one go to get comfort? I need that skin contact. I had it when my babies were small and I held them but now that they're growing up they don't wasn't to sit on mommies lap. Can you blame them? Poor kids. Their hugs still mean the world to me.  I have tried every depression med out there but nothing takes the place of what I really need. My husbands arms around me. S. O. B.   Thanks for letting me steam for a couple of minutes.