Quote From: ninapi
I wanted to ask someone for advice I don't know where to turn with my situation with my little girl.
I just recently started working and had to put her in daycare. She was 21/2 yrs. old now 2 months later she is still crying. I tried to talk to her. I tried to stay a little longer. I've tried just dropping her off and leaving and she still cries. There has only been 3 days that I could remember her just being okay. She has constantly been sick since she's been there. 1st a cold, ear infection, diarreaha, vomiting, now she has a constant cough hacking cough with stuffed up nose. Before daycare she was very rarely sick. I've considered putting her in another daycare,but not sure as if I do will that create more of a problem all over again or should I just toughen it our with this daycare. The teachers try to reassure me she'll get over it but I don't see any progress.
Signed confused parent
I'm not a mother myself. I'm 21 and I have 5 younger brothers and sisters. Being the oldest in the sibling range I had the honor of taking the kids to school and daycare and picking them back up again. My one younger sister had a big problem going to daycare and living in the country we couldn't change daycares. She had the same problems as your little girl and below are some things i've tried and they've really worked.
- i've also tried (and sticking to it for about two weeks) just droping her off, handing her over to a day care worker and toughing up and walking out(yes i would then sit in the car and cry as well knowing that she was crying, but it had to be done). This attempt lasted the two weeks, but only improved a little bit.
- you could also try bringing her into the daycare and asking if you spend the day there with her once or twice...she might think that by you leaving her, she's being abandoned. And that would be where the whole nature vs nuture / flight vs fight scenarios might come into play...she doesn't know how to react to the situation, which is causing much of the illnesses.
- playing with her at the daycare for about 20mins, get her involved in something that will take her mind off the fact that you're going to leave in a few mins. When she gets really into something, slowly give some distance, and eventually (while she's occupied with other kids/daycare workers) slip out. Then when you pick her up at the end of the day, ask the daycare workers how she was...usually if they understand the situation they'll keep her preoccupied enough to forget that you even left. This seemed to really work...and to this day, i drop her off, play with her a little bit, she'll get really into something and i'll sneak out...it's hard not saying goodbye with a hug and kiss as you leave, but after you get used to it(and she will too). And even call throughout the day and see how she's doing. I'll bet you'll notice a BIG difference plus she'll get used to it as part of a routine that she has to do every time she goes there.
P.S
It may seem hard at first but the key to my second option would be to think of an activity that she can do at daycare that keeps her ***really*** preoccupied so she wouldn't notice if you stood up and walked away.