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Topic : Daycare/Babysitters/Nannies

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Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 12:45:10 pm
Author : dataimport
Do you have a nanny? Is your child in daycare? Share advice and stories about your experiences with childcare.

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jettav
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February 28, 2006, 6:41 pm PST

Daycare/Babysitters/Nannies

Quote From: jb7ctx

I dont know if they have ever been reported to the state, but I did report 2 of the teachers who did this, to my supervisor. When they found out I said something to the supervisor, that is when they took their anger out on my child. My child was in another room at the daycare center with "one of the mean" teachers. Sometimes the parents did pop in unannounced and when they did, the teachers "of course" acted nice to their kids then. The daycare is still open and I heard from a friend of mine that one of the mean teachers is no longer there. I dont know if she quit or got fired. But I do know , she did not have the patience for kids.
well it's good that this teacher is no longer there. One thing I could never stand was to watch and hear a teacher yelling at her 2 year olds. Though I believe there are good care givers and centers, I have chosen to stay home with my kids and will probably homeschool them as well. Kids are too precious to be mistreated, they need a lot of positive care and unfortuanetly there are those out there not giving it to our kids.
 
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tarn02043

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April 26, 2006, 10:39 am PDT

Overprotective parents

I am a nanny and proud to be one!  Unfortunately I recently quit a job after only one month because the mom was too overprotective.  As she is a first time parent I understand her need to protect her child.  However, employing a nanny allows for the child to interact with other children her age and as this was discussed in my initial interview about all the activities we would be involved, I feel duped by the mom's actions.  On the day that I quit I had taken the child for a walk in the stroller, stopped off at the neighbors swing set and had a great time.  Turns out that night the child had an ear infection and the mom blamed me for it.  Can someone pls tell the mom that an ear infection is not contagious?  A week prior to the incident we went to the playground, whereby the mom drove us there.  I am a 34yr woman with years of experience and a perfect driving record.  If anything, from the way the mom drove, I'd rather she NOT have driven us anywhere.   As it was, the mom had no intention of me driving the child anywhere, nor at any time in the near future. 
 
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japmom

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May 20, 2006, 8:14 pm PDT

sometimes the truth hurts

Quote From: spikelynn

My daughter is in daycare during the mornings, ever since she was 2.  I work full time and I do not have the time to give her all the attention she needs.  The daycare helps with that.  She has learned more than I would have been able to teach her as I do not have the qualifications that her daymother has. She is now 4 years old and way ahead of other children her age that does not go to daycare.  I have never been sorry about the decision I made.  I gave birth to my second daughter on July 6, 2005 and she will follow the same path as her sister.  Just make sure that you do your research properly and find a daycare centre that suits the needs of both you and your child.  Visit the centre during the day, unannounced and have a looka at what they do, how they treat the children and you will be able to see wether the children are happy or not in a single glance.  Don't dany your child a great experience because you are afraid to trust someone else with your child.
I'm sorry, but I can't believe that you give somebody else credit for your child being "better than other children her age".  Ok so you said "ahead of other children", however, I'm sorry to  have to be the one to be critical, but you are soo confused about what it is to be a parent.  It isn't a "qualification" thing to be a mom.  Anybody can be a Mother, which sounds like what you are.  It takes a lot of effort to be a Mom.  I have 6, yes six wonderful children.  My 1st grade son, now entering the 2nd grade in the fall, is one of the top five students in his class.  And although his younger sibs are not in school yet, as a mom, I sure can tell that they are some of the most inquisitive, smart children.  They do great with other children.  They never had a problem with other kids.  All that time you put into researching fo the "right daycare", you could have been putting your efforts in being a mom.  I'm sorry, being a stay at home mom gave me more confidence in myself than anything else in the world.  Parenting doesn't come from a degree or college education or how many years in the daycare system.  It comes from yourself, and I hope you see that someday.  A lot of luck to you. 
 
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jettav
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May 22, 2006, 8:02 pm PDT

Daycare/Babysitters/Nannies

I believe parents can make better teachers then those with the piece of paper and of course that all depends on the parent and how much time and effort they put into their kids. My children are 3 and 5 and will never step foot in a daycare center, they don't go to preschool til they are 4 and they are well on their way. Daycare might be good for some families but not neccessary for them to achieve..................even the classroom setting as they grow older isn't always the best for kids, kids learn in different ways and some do better one on one then others so homeschooling is a good option for some families, a classroom setting is not always the thing to do..........................
 
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lyss_atc
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May 22, 2006, 8:37 pm PDT

Childcare

Quote From: jettav

I believe parents can make better teachers then those with the piece of paper and of course that all depends on the parent and how much time and effort they put into their kids. My children are 3 and 5 and will never step foot in a daycare center, they don't go to preschool til they are 4 and they are well on their way. Daycare might be good for some families but not neccessary for them to achieve..................even the classroom setting as they grow older isn't always the best for kids, kids learn in different ways and some do better one on one then others so homeschooling is a good option for some families, a classroom setting is not always the thing to do..........................

I worked in a special needs class at a daycare for several years, and for SOME children daycare/early education is necessary to achieve. My mother could not stay home w/my sister and myself because she was a teacher and at that time we needed the second income. I do not regret her decision and can honestly say I don't want to stay home either. I had wonderful babysitters that did educational lessons w/us during the day and my parents (mom and DAD) read to us, played w/us, and were awesome parents. My mom was the head room mom, went on field trips w/us and my dad coached our softball teams. We both graduated w/over a 4.0 in high school and did really well in college--I'm an athletic trainer she's an EMT/I and pursuing her nursing degree. 

  

Some parents make the choice to stay home, and if that is what they feel is best then more power to them but some of you in your responses though not directly attacking seem to be criticizing parents that make other choices--my parents' dual incomes afforded us many memories that we wouldn't have had--they are wonderful parents and they made the right choice to have us in daycare/with babysitters.  
 
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jettav
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May 23, 2006, 12:50 pm PDT

Daycare/Babysitters/Nannies

Quote From: lyss_atc

I worked in a special needs class at a daycare for several years, and for SOME children daycare/early education is necessary to achieve. My mother could not stay home w/my sister and myself because she was a teacher and at that time we needed the second income. I do not regret her decision and can honestly say I don't want to stay home either. I had wonderful babysitters that did educational lessons w/us during the day and my parents (mom and DAD) read to us, played w/us, and were awesome parents. My mom was the head room mom, went on field trips w/us and my dad coached our softball teams. We both graduated w/over a 4.0 in high school and did really well in college--I'm an athletic trainer she's an EMT/I and pursuing her nursing degree. 

  

Some parents make the choice to stay home, and if that is what they feel is best then more power to them but some of you in your responses though not directly attacking seem to be criticizing parents that make other choices--my parents' dual incomes afforded us many memories that we wouldn't have had--they are wonderful parents and they made the right choice to have us in daycare/with babysitters.  

I'm sorry if I offended you for that was not my intent. There was a poster on here who feels that she could not have done well with her children and in all honesty, I actually feel bad for her, we parents, I believe can be the best teachers for our children and there was also a poster a while back who insisted that it was neccessary for young children to be in a school setting and that is not always true. And I do believe parents are responsible to make sure their children are well taken care of and are in the best hands and when that is achieved then the children will thrive and do well. Some do benifit from daycare but others do not, it can be a good thing as well as a not so good thing, I personally have no desire to go that route for I can do just as good with my children if not better then some one else and I would much rather be home with them................. It is a personal choice for all of us and what ever works. I am not going to get into a debate over this because in all honesty, I really don't care what other parents do when it comes to this topic but I wanted to make it clear to those few people who tend to think that daycare is a neccessity for all children that it is not always the case and for parents who feel inadequate to guide and direct their children and teach them at such young ages, I want to encourage them to follow their heart and to not be so down on themselves because with love, desire and the effort, we parents can teach our children a whole lot and academics and socialization skills are included in this.
 
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sadia_nl
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May 24, 2006, 2:45 am PDT

My 2 year old at day-care

   

Hello every one,   

My name is Sadia and my son is 2 years old. We live in Holland. I am facing some difficult time with my son's day care and will be very happy to share it with other parents and get their opinion and advice on it. A little history is that I have lost a baby before and this boy is born after acute complications during my pregnancy. He was born premature and dis-mature so his presence already is a great miracle for me.   

I work full-time and my son goes to the day-care for three days and two days a nanny comes to our house. I am very pleased the way Nanny is dealing with him because of course he gets one to one care. My son is very talkative at home. He talks non-stop and sings all the rhymes all day long. He is under weight but doctors say that he is way too early with his talking and understanding things. He speaks two languages (EnglishDutch) and it is gong perfect. But at the day-care I have been noticing that when I go to pick him up (usually my husband picks him up), he is sitting on a table very silent , not communicating with other children and looks bored and dull. He is strapped on his chair as they say otherwise he goes out of the chair. We get a book every evening from them which is full of enthusiastic remarks about his day. I always thought that probably he is very tired when I go to pick him up but lately there was this parents evening where they showed a video which was made during few days and had clips of kids doing things around. I was just shocked to see my son on the tape, he was not interacting with other kids , he was not singing the way he sings non-stop at home, he was so silent and was not stimulated by the careers to participate. They were not doing activities to keep them busy as they believe that children should explore themselves. At some birthday party (one the video) my son was sitting in the corner , strapped on the chair (no other child is strapped) and was not singing at all or even paying attention like what is going on. I saw a different child. My son is normally singing all day long, he is talking to me and to my husband all the time, telling us what he sees in both languages and is so cheerful and friendly. He wants us to play with him. I am going to talk to the day care this afternoon about what I saw on the video but I really want to share and make sure if I am not wrong blaming the day care for not stimulating my child enough to participate or is this just his behavior?? If it is then what can be done and why is he so talkative at home and super excited all the time. I am so afraid that he Will not learn how to mix with other kids. I want to know if other parents face some thing similar? Is it normal?? what can be done.    

Most of all , he gives us really hard time with food while they claim that he eats perfect with them. If I see on the video that they (carers) don't even interact with him then how come he listens to them and shows excitement with food. I am afraid to change this day care and think what if the other day care turns out even worse.  

Any comments will be greatly appreciated.   

Best regards,   

Sadia.   
 
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jettav
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May 24, 2006, 7:22 am PDT

Daycare/Babysitters/Nannies

Quote From: sadia_nl

   

Hello every one,   

My name is Sadia and my son is 2 years old. We live in Holland. I am facing some difficult time with my son's day care and will be very happy to share it with other parents and get their opinion and advice on it. A little history is that I have lost a baby before and this boy is born after acute complications during my pregnancy. He was born premature and dis-mature so his presence already is a great miracle for me.   

I work full-time and my son goes to the day-care for three days and two days a nanny comes to our house. I am very pleased the way Nanny is dealing with him because of course he gets one to one care. My son is very talkative at home. He talks non-stop and sings all the rhymes all day long. He is under weight but doctors say that he is way too early with his talking and understanding things. He speaks two languages (EnglishDutch) and it is gong perfect. But at the day-care I have been noticing that when I go to pick him up (usually my husband picks him up), he is sitting on a table very silent , not communicating with other children and looks bored and dull. He is strapped on his chair as they say otherwise he goes out of the chair. We get a book every evening from them which is full of enthusiastic remarks about his day. I always thought that probably he is very tired when I go to pick him up but lately there was this parents evening where they showed a video which was made during few days and had clips of kids doing things around. I was just shocked to see my son on the tape, he was not interacting with other kids , he was not singing the way he sings non-stop at home, he was so silent and was not stimulated by the careers to participate. They were not doing activities to keep them busy as they believe that children should explore themselves. At some birthday party (one the video) my son was sitting in the corner , strapped on the chair (no other child is strapped) and was not singing at all or even paying attention like what is going on. I saw a different child. My son is normally singing all day long, he is talking to me and to my husband all the time, telling us what he sees in both languages and is so cheerful and friendly. He wants us to play with him. I am going to talk to the day care this afternoon about what I saw on the video but I really want to share and make sure if I am not wrong blaming the day care for not stimulating my child enough to participate or is this just his behavior?? If it is then what can be done and why is he so talkative at home and super excited all the time. I am so afraid that he Will not learn how to mix with other kids. I want to know if other parents face some thing similar? Is it normal?? what can be done.    

Most of all , he gives us really hard time with food while they claim that he eats perfect with them. If I see on the video that they (carers) don't even interact with him then how come he listens to them and shows excitement with food. I am afraid to change this day care and think what if the other day care turns out even worse.  

Any comments will be greatly appreciated.   

Best regards,   

Sadia.   

My biggest concern when reading your message is the fact that he is being strapped down???? I would be finding that out first thing. Personally, I would not leave my child some where if he is not enjoying it. I have worked in child care centers in the past and this is not normal...........This is your child and you have absolutely every right to be concerned and to question the staff and I would also encourage you to drop by the center unexpectedly and see what is going on, do this several times at different times of the week and day, do not give thema clue about you coming by, maybe take a day or two where you can come in and eat lunch with him, whatever, you do have the rigth to know what is going on so do not worry about offending some one, if the employessa re offended by you questioning and observing your son and his daily routine and activies, then something is definetly wrong, they should be happy to talk with you and to give you the info that you need to help your son...........Children can learn to socialize regardless of their daily setting, there are many ways to get them involved with other children so don't think that daycare is the only outlet that you have, there are many options, you just have to look for thema nd do what is right for your child, but bottom line here, you need to question the staff and you need to get answers, and asking and observing is two impotant things here....children need interaction and though I agree that they need to explore and learn things, it is our responsibility as parents and caregivers to provide the opportunity and activities for them to do this, and some kids need more structure then others, definetly go in there and demand answers and seek out what is best for your child, they will eith cooperate with you or they will get offensive, if the cooperate, you might get the answers that you need, if they get all offensive, I would suggest getting hom out of there, though I personally do not put my children in day care, I do believe ther are good ones out there and this one certainly would not be one that I would recomend and of course you know more about the situation then I do so follow your parenting instincts.....................
 
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sadia_nl
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May 30, 2006, 2:14 am PDT

Daycare/Babysitters/Nannies

Quote From: jettav

My biggest concern when reading your message is the fact that he is being strapped down???? I would be finding that out first thing. Personally, I would not leave my child some where if he is not enjoying it. I have worked in child care centers in the past and this is not normal...........This is your child and you have absolutely every right to be concerned and to question the staff and I would also encourage you to drop by the center unexpectedly and see what is going on, do this several times at different times of the week and day, do not give thema clue about you coming by, maybe take a day or two where you can come in and eat lunch with him, whatever, you do have the rigth to know what is going on so do not worry about offending some one, if the employessa re offended by you questioning and observing your son and his daily routine and activies, then something is definetly wrong, they should be happy to talk with you and to give you the info that you need to help your son...........Children can learn to socialize regardless of their daily setting, there are many ways to get them involved with other children so don't think that daycare is the only outlet that you have, there are many options, you just have to look for thema nd do what is right for your child, but bottom line here, you need to question the staff and you need to get answers, and asking and observing is two impotant things here....children need interaction and though I agree that they need to explore and learn things, it is our responsibility as parents and caregivers to provide the opportunity and activities for them to do this, and some kids need more structure then others, definetly go in there and demand answers and seek out what is best for your child, they will eith cooperate with you or they will get offensive, if the cooperate, you might get the answers that you need, if they get all offensive, I would suggest getting hom out of there, though I personally do not put my children in day care, I do believe ther are good ones out there and this one certainly would not be one that I would recomend and of course you know more about the situation then I do so follow your parenting instincts.....................

  

thank you very much for your reply.  

I agree with you on the point to go to day care unexpected and see what is going on. I tried to do that once in a while but they told me not to, I can't have lunch with him as they say "other children will get disturbed and other parents will demand to come over too"   

I went to them last Wednesday and discussed this whole issue. Their reply was   

  

"what you saw on the video was purely because children are shy in front of camera. Your son is one of the active children we have here. Probably you expected more from the video and we could possibly not shoot one child's video all the time."  

  

I still said that I can clearly see a difference, he is so full of life at home and was looking so bored in the video. They kept saying about they shyness in front of the camera. It is very confusing for me. My husband seems to be fine with their replies and then I start to wonder "am I being to fussy?" I did mention to them about strapping Qasim down on the chair. They said that he moves alot and it is for safety. when I said I did not see other children in the video strapped down, she said there are more children but they were not on the video. They keep saying "we have 9-12 children to look after with three people and we can't keep telling your son to sit down and pay attention to him. I understand that point that they have way too many children to look after with very few minders but I think that is not my concern. I pay them a full amount and I expect their time for my son in return. They should complain to their management if they have a shortage of staff. I am so afraid that If I take him out from here and try another day care and if they are even worse then what would I do??? I was thinking to keep telling them my complaints and indeed try to go there and see what is going on and how is he doing. But honestly it is so frustrating.  

  
 
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jettav
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May 30, 2006, 6:28 am PDT

Daycare/Babysitters/Nannies

Quote From: sadia_nl

  

thank you very much for your reply.  

I agree with you on the point to go to day care unexpected and see what is going on. I tried to do that once in a while but they told me not to, I can't have lunch with him as they say "other children will get disturbed and other parents will demand to come over too"   

I went to them last Wednesday and discussed this whole issue. Their reply was   

  

"what you saw on the video was purely because children are shy in front of camera. Your son is one of the active children we have here. Probably you expected more from the video and we could possibly not shoot one child's video all the time."  

  

I still said that I can clearly see a difference, he is so full of life at home and was looking so bored in the video. They kept saying about they shyness in front of the camera. It is very confusing for me. My husband seems to be fine with their replies and then I start to wonder "am I being to fussy?" I did mention to them about strapping Qasim down on the chair. They said that he moves alot and it is for safety. when I said I did not see other children in the video strapped down, she said there are more children but they were not on the video. They keep saying "we have 9-12 children to look after with three people and we can't keep telling your son to sit down and pay attention to him. I understand that point that they have way too many children to look after with very few minders but I think that is not my concern. I pay them a full amount and I expect their time for my son in return. They should complain to their management if they have a shortage of staff. I am so afraid that If I take him out from here and try another day care and if they are even worse then what would I do??? I was thinking to keep telling them my complaints and indeed try to go there and see what is going on and how is he doing. But honestly it is so frustrating.  

  

I would suggest that you go to the proper authority here. I do not know what the rules and regualtions are where you live but here where I live, there are state rules and guidelines to be followed and the state can pop in at any time and they do not have to announce their visit. I would do some reporting, document everything that you see and hear and if you have access tot he tape, take it to them, here in Ohio, the state has to check things out if there is any type of complain.....................The next thing I would do is remind these people that this is YOUR son and if you so desire to come and sit with him at lunch or pop in and see how he is doing, you have the right to do this and you will continue to do this as you desire to, let the director of the center know how you feel and that they CAN expect you to drop by on accasions to see your son and if they have a problem with this, personally I would with drawl the child, any one who tells you that you do not have the right to come in and see your child IS hiding something even if it is a minor thing, do not be manipulated. I can feel your frustration but at the same time you have to do something for the sake of your son, chances are IF something is wrong here, he is not the only one being affected, they NEED to be reported.
 
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