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Topic : Daycare/Babysitters/Nannies

Number of Replies: 102
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 12:45:10 pm
Author : dataimport
Do you have a nanny? Is your child in daycare? Share advice and stories about your experiences with childcare.

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August 7, 2006, 12:45 pm CDT

Hi 'angielove'

Quote From: angielove

MY HUSBAND AND I JUST HAD A BABY 5 WKS. AGO. MY HUSBAND DOES NOT LIKE MY SISTERS FOR SMALL PETTY REASONS. HE SAID OUR DAUTHGER CAN ONLY GO TO MY SISTER HOUSE IF I'M WITH HER. HE SAID SHE CAN ONLY BABYSIT AT OUR HOME BECAUSE SHE TALKS LOUD, SCREAM AT HER SON, AND IS WORRIED TOO MANY PEOPLE WILL BE HANDLING THE BABY. HE SAID THAT AS A CHILD GROWING UP HE WAS EFFECTED BY HIS MOTHER YELLING AND SCREAMING AT HIM,BUT I TOLD HIM FOR 1. OUR DAUGHTER IS A BABY AND MY SISTER WOULD NOT BE SCREAMING AT HER(SHE WOULD BE SCREAMING AT HER SON) AND 2. JUST BECAUSE HE WAS EFFECTED BY HIS MOTHER DOES NOT MEAN OUR DAUGHTER WILL BE EFFECTED BY IT(I WASN'T GROWING UP). NOT ONLY THAT HE REALLY DIDN'T WANT HIS OWN MOTHER BABYSITTING BECAUSE HE DOES NOT TRUST ANYONE AND NOT FAMILY-ORIENTED. HE IS NOT CLOSE TO HIS FAMILY AND HE ONLY WANT MY FRIENDS TO BABYSIT,NOT FAMILY. MY SISTER LOVES CHILDREN AND HER DAUGHTER WORKS AT A DAYCARE CENTER,BUT DOES NOT WANT THEM TO BABYSIT. IT'S NOT RGHT THAT MY DAUGHTER DOES NOT SPEND ANY TIME WITH HER AUNTS, WHAT ADVICE CAN BE GIVEN?

Your baby is only 5 weeks old right now, so I’m assuming you are thinking about the future- correct? You aren’t wanting the baby to spend time with aunts now.
What you call ‘small petty stuff’ is actually big. You should want to shield your baby from constant yelling/screaming if it is possible. Even though she is yelling at her own son, your child is right there- and it is a dysfunctional atmosphere to be in. Your baby needs to feel safe and secure.
If you are worried about offending your sister, you need to let go of that worry. You can’t make everyone happy all of the time, girlfriend! I know it is difficult. But, this is your precious baby you’re talking about, she deserves to be protected. When she gets older, it will be different. Just tell your sister that you and your husband are more comfortable having people at your home instead of the baby at their home. That’s it. When asked why, just tell her that as the baby gets older, things will probably change. But for now, your home is open for them to come visit.
 
 
August 7, 2006, 1:24 pm CDT

Daycare/Babysitters/Nannies

Quote From: angielove

I TRULY UNDERSTAND THAT, I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO TELL MY SISTER SHE CAN BABYSIT ONLY AT MY HOUSE BECAUSE OF NOISE AND YELLING WITHOUT HER TAKING IT THE WRONG WAY AND GETTING OFFENDED.

Like the other poster said, just tell her that you and your husband feel more comfortable with the baby in your home and everything she needs is right there. It's hard sometimes to say what we want and need to but we have to not worry about offending others when it comes to raising our kids, this baby is your baby and if she wants to babysit, then it will have to be by your terms. She might not understand and that's ok but I guarentee that if she wants to watch this baby then she will respect your guidelines and if she can't do that then I personally wouldn't want her around my child.
 
November 7, 2006, 12:40 pm CST

Stay at home mom AND LOVING IT!!!

Honestly I have major trust issues with baby sisters and such.  I could never trust someone to watch my baby.  Tried that once it was my mother.  My husband and I went out to dinner while my mother watched are daughter she was 2 months old at the time.  I called her cell phone 7 times while we were out without a answer or a call back we cut are date short.  I was so afraid something bad happened and when we got back to the house my mom had her phone on vibrate and didn't realize I was calling.  Everything was fine, but still I lost my trust.  Something bad could of happened.

 

I am a stay at home mom though and I love it.  Only down fall is my 8 month old has major seperation anxiety she wants me all the time and if I leave her with her dad for a min she will call ma ma till I get back lol.  It is really hard on me sometimes.  But I feel very happy to know that my daughter is safe.  I keep her out of harms way.

 
November 8, 2006, 8:29 am CST

Daycare/Babysitters/Nannies

Quote From: b_baynard

Honestly I have major trust issues with baby sisters and such.  I could never trust someone to watch my baby.  Tried that once it was my mother.  My husband and I went out to dinner while my mother watched are daughter she was 2 months old at the time.  I called her cell phone 7 times while we were out without a answer or a call back we cut are date short.  I was so afraid something bad happened and when we got back to the house my mom had her phone on vibrate and didn't realize I was calling.  Everything was fine, but still I lost my trust.  Something bad could of happened.

 

I am a stay at home mom though and I love it.  Only down fall is my 8 month old has major seperation anxiety she wants me all the time and if I leave her with her dad for a min she will call ma ma till I get back lol.  It is really hard on me sometimes.  But I feel very happy to know that my daughter is safe.  I keep her out of harms way.

I am a stay at home mom as well and I love it. My kids do go to a sitter on occasions about once a month if that and they got o their Church classes twice a week which is 3 hours total. My oldest is noew in kindergarten and loving it,s he attends a small Christian school and I am a room mom and that is great. My 3 yearold is still home with me and that is the way it is gopnna be until she starts school. I have highly considered homeschooling which I think is awesome but for now, we are happy with our set up, I get to be the stay at home mom that I am compelled to do and my children have no problem with social and academic skills, We have never experienced the seperation anxiety which probably stems fromt he fact that we are a social family, I have never hesitated to allow people to hold my children, and I go out with friends whatever and leave them home with their daddy and they have grown accustomed to all this.

I really think the key to good parenting is communication with one another, including our kids, consistency, following througha nd being there for one another, taking care of ourselves included and at the same time knowing what we are and not comfortable with, I personally have no desire to send my kids off to a day care center 5 days a week, for hours at a time, I think there is plenty of time for the school setting without needing to do it when they are under school age, I love the idea of my little ones being home with me and it has been an awesome experience for all of us.

follow your heart when it comes to you children and at the same time, make sure you have  "your" time as well, nothing to feel guilty about and in time the seperation anxiety will go away, especially if daddy (whoever) is paying attention and having fun with her. I think it is very imporant for kids to build relationships with both parents, family and others and there are many ways of doing that without having to worry about them, How we choose to do that is up to each of us as parents and Ipersonally am thankful for the choice that I made in staying home with my kids, they  are only little  for so long and then school days start and then they are teen agers and then adults, I know my time with my kids has gone too fast, :)
 
January 17, 2007, 5:30 pm CST

Daycares

I live in Perh Western Australia and recently it has been named as the 5th most expensive city in the world to live in - thats basically due to our realestate and wide open spaces.

 

Anyway, in order to just live and pay your rent or mortgage on the most basic of houses, both mother and father must work.

 

My first daughter was placed into daycare just before her 1st birthday and i have nothing to say to Middle Swan Child Care Centre but THANK YOU for helping me raise the most beautiful, intelligent and compassionate child.  I really feel that it has been the community that has helped raise our child and she is the better for it.

 

In australia there are many accreditations (?), rules, laws etc that need to be followed to run a daycare centre.  Allt he staff are supervised.  Also, the training that these girls do to help develop your child is mind blowing.  As a first time mum, if I hadn't taken my daughter to daycare I would not have known about how to develop fine motor skills, learn fabulous activities to keep my childs mind active and developing at all times.  Things like playing with boxes as a baby teaches them to learn about and define space.

 

The daycare I took my children to never used the word NO.  They taught them to think about their actions, their consequences or results and to respect others feelings, an extension of my own family values.

 

As an only child for 6 years and with no family or friends who have their own children, daycare was also good for developing her social skills.

 

Now I don't actually believe in mothers working.  I think that our fathers should be paid  better in order that our mothers can return to raising more healthy, loved, and compassionate children.  But until our societies return to the ways of the old where our children were raised by the communities we lived in and where grandparents were still part of the family nucleus I think Daycares are a must for working parents.  I don't think that daycares should be open to anybody who just wants a break from their children.  Trust your child.  If after a settling in period they enjoy going, great what have you to loose?  Otherwise find one that does suit your child.

 

Baysitters aren't big here in Oz but if you and your husband need one of those rare moments alone and out and about, a local girl looking for pocket money is a great idea to look after your children for a small amount of time.  I don't think I would ever employ a Nanny ( I am not that rich or important)  I don't think I would like them have full run of my house, unsupervised.  I don't trust that situation.

 
January 17, 2007, 11:27 pm CST

daycare

 Husband and I decided 24yrs ago when I was pregnant with 2nd child that I should stay home and be with the kids...I would not do anything different..But it is not for every body....Financially it is hard you do have to give some things up...So what I did was started babysitting for friends and family....The income did not make me rich but it helped alot.....I did not charge alot of money because these were people that did not make alot but wanted somebody they could trust with their babies...It also helped my kids to learn socialization and we had a lot of fun......I did it for 20 yrs..and now I just watch my 3 grandkids.....all the kids that I have watched over the yrs will still come to see me...and they want me to watch their kids but I tell them that I have retired from that...There wasn't to many days that I had less than 10 kids...But not once did any child get hurt or anything else in my care....I treated them all like they were mine even had chores for them and never had a problem..Took them swimming to the zoo roller skating we had all kinds of activities and crafts...I could take 10 or more grocery shopping with me and never have a problem and that was all ages newborn to sometimes 11yrs old..The parents would just could not figure out how I could do it,, because they would take their on or two children to the store with them and the kids would act up but with me they would act fine....But it was not a job to me it was a passion that I just loved....I have 1 little girl that I started watching when she was 6wks old she is now 11 and can stay home by herself but if she does not have school then she will call me and ask if she can come over even if I do not have my grandkids......I did find out over the yrs that alot of people don't have alot of respect for stay at home babysitters..But I got all the respect I could handle out of all the little people that came into my life..and My husband and my own kids always  respected me and are very proud of me and that is all that counts.....I think everybody should do what is best for them and their family....It is hard for moms but what ever you do and you do it the best you can then you should be proud of what ever decision you make and do not let anybody make you feel bad about your decision to stay home or go to work...
 
January 18, 2007, 6:38 pm CST

Daycare/Babysitters/Nannies

Quote From: meviperchic

 Husband and I decided 24yrs ago when I was pregnant with 2nd child that I should stay home and be with the kids...I would not do anything different..But it is not for every body....Financially it is hard you do have to give some things up...So what I did was started babysitting for friends and family....The income did not make me rich but it helped alot.....I did not charge alot of money because these were people that did not make alot but wanted somebody they could trust with their babies...It also helped my kids to learn socialization and we had a lot of fun......I did it for 20 yrs..and now I just watch my 3 grandkids.....all the kids that I have watched over the yrs will still come to see me...and they want me to watch their kids but I tell them that I have retired from that...There wasn't to many days that I had less than 10 kids...But not once did any child get hurt or anything else in my care....I treated them all like they were mine even had chores for them and never had a problem..Took them swimming to the zoo roller skating we had all kinds of activities and crafts...I could take 10 or more grocery shopping with me and never have a problem and that was all ages newborn to sometimes 11yrs old..The parents would just could not figure out how I could do it,, because they would take their on or two children to the store with them and the kids would act up but with me they would act fine....But it was not a job to me it was a passion that I just loved....I have 1 little girl that I started watching when she was 6wks old she is now 11 and can stay home by herself but if she does not have school then she will call me and ask if she can come over even if I do not have my grandkids......I did find out over the yrs that alot of people don't have alot of respect for stay at home babysitters..But I got all the respect I could handle out of all the little people that came into my life..and My husband and my own kids always  respected me and are very proud of me and that is all that counts.....I think everybody should do what is best for them and their family....It is hard for moms but what ever you do and you do it the best you can then you should be proud of what ever decision you make and do not let anybody make you feel bad about your decision to stay home or go to work...
I do the same thing, I babysit as well as other things to help bring in income but I am still home with my 4 year old and will be until she starts school. My oldest is in kindergarrten and I was home with her as well. I have considered homeschooling but she wanted to go to go to school, I found a good private school and she is doing awesome. Of course I still teach her at home as she loves to do 'Homework" LOL. I am still considering the homeschool but taking it one step at a time.

I am a firm believer that if parents put theri kids as a high priority, they are going to get the best care possible. My kids would have done well in daycare as they have the personality for it, they never cry, or throw a fit cause they are being dropped off at a sitters, or whatever, they have always enjoyed playing with others and they have tons of firends, they make friends so easily and always have. I basically decided to stay home casue it was what I felt compelled to do, I always knew that if I had kids that I wanted to be home with them and thankfully I married the man of my dreams, he is loving and kind and absolutely adores his children and thankfully he agrees with me staying home, in fact, it is what he has always requested because he doesn't want his kids raised by daycare, his words, not mine.

I think we are all of different personalities and desires and for me, the decission may stem from the fact that I am an older mom, life has been good and it was time for me to be home when I had my children. I realize there are parents who need daycare for whatever reason but for me personally, it wasn't an option and I have no regrets.

Society has a way of making parents feel like they are stupid and they don't know  a thing about raising kids and the one thing I do not like is for some to tell another parent that they should do............whatever it might be. we are most definetly living in a daycare society and many people believe that kids need it to learn and to be socialize, I say some kids might need it but not all kids,.and it is up to the parents to decide, not any one else.It's one thing to have an opinion but another to tell another parent that they have made the wrong decissions when it comes to raising them.

I came to the conclusion along time ago that my kids need to be home and when they are old enough to go to school, I am quite capable of making the decission of where and how they are to be educated, For now, my 4 year old is home and my soon to be 6 year old is in a private school setting which could change, but the little one stays home til she is old enough to go to school and her type of schooling, who knows, will cross that path when we get to it.

Life, in my opinion is too short to worry about what other people think..daycare  can be good for some kids, but I prefer the staying home choice. We need to be thankful that we live in a country that gives us choices and the freedom to do what we feel is best for our kids, it's wonderful living in the USA.......................



 
January 18, 2007, 6:55 pm CST

Daycare/Babysitters/Nannies

Quote From: thescream

I live in Perh Western Australia and recently it has been named as the 5th most expensive city in the world to live in - thats basically due to our realestate and wide open spaces.

 

Anyway, in order to just live and pay your rent or mortgage on the most basic of houses, both mother and father must work.

 

My first daughter was placed into daycare just before her 1st birthday and i have nothing to say to Middle Swan Child Care Centre but THANK YOU for helping me raise the most beautiful, intelligent and compassionate child.  I really feel that it has been the community that has helped raise our child and she is the better for it.

 

In australia there are many accreditations (?), rules, laws etc that need to be followed to run a daycare centre.  Allt he staff are supervised.  Also, the training that these girls do to help develop your child is mind blowing.  As a first time mum, if I hadn't taken my daughter to daycare I would not have known about how to develop fine motor skills, learn fabulous activities to keep my childs mind active and developing at all times.  Things like playing with boxes as a baby teaches them to learn about and define space.

 

The daycare I took my children to never used the word NO.  They taught them to think about their actions, their consequences or results and to respect others feelings, an extension of my own family values.

 

As an only child for 6 years and with no family or friends who have their own children, daycare was also good for developing her social skills.

 

Now I don't actually believe in mothers working.  I think that our fathers should be paid  better in order that our mothers can return to raising more healthy, loved, and compassionate children.  But until our societies return to the ways of the old where our children were raised by the communities we lived in and where grandparents were still part of the family nucleus I think Daycares are a must for working parents.  I don't think that daycares should be open to anybody who just wants a break from their children.  Trust your child.  If after a settling in period they enjoy going, great what have you to loose?  Otherwise find one that does suit your child.

 

Baysitters aren't big here in Oz but if you and your husband need one of those rare moments alone and out and about, a local girl looking for pocket money is a great idea to look after your children for a small amount of time.  I don't think I would ever employ a Nanny ( I am not that rich or important)  I don't think I would like them have full run of my house, unsupervised.  I don't trust that situation.

I agree with what  you said about "trusting your child." before marriage and children, I worked in childcare in several child care centers, and some kids adjusted very well and was just fine but then there were those who had absolutely no desire to be there, and did not do well at all. If that would have been my child, no way would I have left her there in that setting, I believe kids deserve to be happy and they should feel comfortable in their setting.and yes, there are parents who take advantage of their child care workers, sad but true.

One policy that every center I worked in as well as I have at home as I do childcare, parents have to have back up sitters, if they don't then they may end up staying home with their child on occasions, after all, kids get sick, my kids get siick and unfortuanetly, I get sick and thre are such a thing as vacations and holidays, you would be surprised at how many parents complain when a center is closed for the day.   In all reality, childcare is also one of the lowest paying jobs around which I think is a sad thing, We take care of the most precious cargo and we don't get a whole lot of respect from society. Thankfully, my in home care parents do appreciate the service they get and that is plus and one reason why I will not go back working in a daycare center.

I wouldn't want a Nanny in my home either, I'm too much of a private person and like things a certain way, even though if had to, I would prefer a home care setting over a daycare  center setting and it would have to be some one I knew very well, I just wouldn't make a good working mom,LOL.
 
February 20, 2007, 10:58 am CST

Daycare/Babysitters/Nannies

Quote From: kschmittz

No, I don't think daycare is NEEDED for a child to be smart...I think whether or not they are is innate.  Meaning, they are born with an ability to learn quickly.  However, daycare can be positive in a lot of ways.  I think a trained worker can see things (good and bad) in kids that parents cannot/don't want to see.  For example, I read an article with four DOCTORS whose children had classic symptoms of four different diseases and they did not see it.  Why?  They were too close.   My 3 year old needed glasses as well as my oldest.  I never would have known if they had not done testing-with a trained doctor.  Yes, both my boys have been in daycare since 6 and 8 weeks of age.  No, I do not think it was necessary for them to be smart, social and friendly but it sure helped.  It also allowed me to work so I could feed and clothe them.  That's important to me and most working parents- provision. Staying home can be good if the Mom is happy and money is not a concern.  To be honest, there are some Moms who should go to work because they do nothing at home. Just as there are Moms who could work less.  My kids are far beyond most in many ways- manners, socially, academically.  Is this because of daycare?  Who really knows...just as daycare doesn't make a kid smart how does staying home do that?  I wonder about that.  All these at home Moms claiming daycare didn't do this or that...how can they be sure staying home did?  There are studies that support both sides of the issue.  All I know is I have great kids and for that I'm grateful. 

I agree.  My 6 month old is in daycare and we love it.  He started going when he was 3 months old.  Before that, he cried when anyone held him other than me or my husband.  But after a week at daycare, he was just fine with anyone holding him.  I think just constantly being around other people all day really helped.  Also, I have 3 friends who all have babies around the same age, but all stay home with them.  None of their children really interact with people and other children the way mine does.  They just don't smile and laugh as much and really interact.  My son just seems to really LOVE people and especially, children.  He starts babbling and laughing the minute he sees one of the other babies at his daycare.  Everyone has noticed how much he interacts with people and everyone thinks it's soooo cute.   Who knows if daycare is the reason for that.  Maybe he would have been the same way even if I had stayed home with him.  But I think the interaction he gets with other babies has something to do with it. 

 

Anway, we love his daycare and feel like he's completely safe there.  It's a church-affiliated daycare and they have a great teacher to child ratio.  I realize that not all daycares are the same and there are some really bad ones out there.  My suggestion to anyone looking for a daycare, is to ask lots of questions and go visit the potential daycare (unannounced) several times before you enroll your child there.  That way you can see for yourself how the workers are interacting with the children and whether they seem well-cared for or not.  I probably showed up 5 times completely unannounced before my son started there and each time, the babies seemed to be very well taken care of.  I just hung around and watched from a distance and could see that they really loved the children.  Also, I got on the Texas child protective services website and looked at all of their reports for this particular daycare and they always had good reports.  I'm sure each state's Child Protective Servcies agency has a website like this.  I suggest people just get on the internet and start searching.  It really gave me peace of mind.

 

I think staying at home with children is great too.  The only thing that concerns me, are moms that spend more time doing their own thing at home, rather than playing with their children.  Staying at home with children should be all about interacting with the children all day.  Not sitting in front of the TV watching soap operas all day while your child plays by himself.  I think that will only create a shy, neglected child.   

 

  

 
May 25, 2007, 1:14 pm CDT

What works for us

My daughter is currently 10 months old and for the first 2 months of her life I was home with her. We would leave her with my mother in law sometimes just for the two of us (hubby and I) to be able to get out of the house by ourselves for a few hours. After I started working we left her with my mother in law because we both worked and my daughter and MIL enjoyed the time they got to spend with each other. My daughter has always been a wonderful child, always wakes up smiling and picks up on things almost right away, and always went to whoever wanted to hold her. When she was about 7 months old I quit working to stay at home because my MIL got really sick. I recently just started back to work again, but anyway, I loved every minute of being able to stay home with her and I got to see everything that she learned for those 3 months. I taught her so much and she taught me a lot as well about being a first time mom. While she was learning new things when I was home with her she was getting too attached to being with me all the time and only wanted me whenever daddy got home from work and it really stressed me out because once he got home I wanted them to be able to spend some time together while being able to relax even for just an hour but I couldn't because she got used to be being with her 24/7. Now I can say that she is happy to go to anyone again because since I started working again 2 weeks ago she has been staying with Nana (my MIL). I have noticed that change but it hasn't changed the rate of her learning new things or what new things she learns because I still spend quality time teaching her things once we get home. I thought about putting her in daycare and really wanted to because I wanted her to be able to interact with children her age, but it is just so darn expensive. So I don't think that daycare is a bad choice or that stay at home moms are better. I think the way a child learns is by watching and if whoever is around the child teaches him/her they will learn. Afterall, children learn the most from the time they are born until they are about 3. They learn a lot of stuff in 3 years which is amazing to me. But in my opinion it is all about taking the time and spending time with your children that helps to learn and how to behave.
 
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