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Topic : Daycare/Babysitters/Nannies

Number of Replies: 102
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 12:45:10 pm
Author : dataimport
Do you have a nanny? Is your child in daycare? Share advice and stories about your experiences with childcare.

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October 24, 2005, 6:43 pm CDT

Daycare/Babysitters/Nannies

Quote From: fritangela

my 4 month old baby girl is going to daycare.Its actully really good to get them around people.Because around the age 2-5 they'll scream,because their not use to staying with people.So when their young and they dont have a saying when there a baby,is actully really good.But be very carful who you leave them with these days.You cant put all your trust in a stranger. 

sheena (california) 

My children are around people all the time but they have never stepped foot in a day care and they are just fine in every area of their lives. Kids have their own personalities and just because one kid screams their head off doesn't mean another will, mine don't and they go to sitters on a accasions and can't wait to go to their church classes and out with friends, Any way, daycare may be good for some kids but I personally can't stand the thoughts of leaving my children with a strangers, I don't care what their wualifications are, I can't do it, especially as young as they are. My oldest is 4 and now in preschool and she is actually ahead of her class, never gets in trouble, and as happy as can be, her first day, she walked in like she owned the place LOl and gets along just fine, we are still thinking about homeschooling though but kids can get what they need from the paretns and other surroundings, doesn't have to be daycare for all kids, Parents just need to follow their hearts and do what they feel to do as parents and put their kids first.
 
October 28, 2005, 4:49 pm CDT

Daycare/Babysitters/Nannies

Quote From: jettav

My children are around people all the time but they have never stepped foot in a day care and they are just fine in every area of their lives. Kids have their own personalities and just because one kid screams their head off doesn't mean another will, mine don't and they go to sitters on a accasions and can't wait to go to their church classes and out with friends, Any way, daycare may be good for some kids but I personally can't stand the thoughts of leaving my children with a strangers, I don't care what their wualifications are, I can't do it, especially as young as they are. My oldest is 4 and now in preschool and she is actually ahead of her class, never gets in trouble, and as happy as can be, her first day, she walked in like she owned the place LOl and gets along just fine, we are still thinking about homeschooling though but kids can get what they need from the paretns and other surroundings, doesn't have to be daycare for all kids, Parents just need to follow their hearts and do what they feel to do as parents and put their kids first.

After having my son, my husband and I soon figured out that one income is not going to be enough to have the things we want in life. I never tried to do well in highschool. I never had any ambitions or goals, that is, till I gave birth to my precious boy. From that moment on I wanted to become someone my little boy can look up too. Plus, I wanted to be able to equally contribute(if not more), to our family to help give my loving husband some relief. I decided trhat my goal was to become a RN and hopefully one day work in labor and delivery. I am right now currently in school three days a week. We have no help for my little boy, so I had to find a reputable daycare center for him to attend. My ambition was to find one that stimulates them, has activities, smoe type of curriculum, along with lots of fun. I did not want to take him to a place where he just wonders around a room all day. Well I found one! I put him in there and he loves it, sure we might have a rough morning from time to time and he doesn't want me to leave. I admit it makes me feel guilty, but I have to do this to help with our family' future. He has also benifited from it sooooo very much. his vocabulary has extended greatly. There is not many 2 yr olds that can talk all about dinosaurs for just one example. He makes friends, and has the besr outgoing personalty a mom could ask for!  In our situation, putting our little angel in daycare, was putting him first! 

 
October 30, 2005, 7:18 pm CST

YOUR CHILD WILL GET USE TO IT.

Quote From: misskanell

I think daycares are great, but how do I get my 2 1/2 year old to stop crying when I drop her off? I have taken her to 4 different babysitters in the past, but when I would drop her off she would look me in the eye and tell me "NO MOMMY, NO!!" She was obviously scared out of her mind at all 4 different places.  Then my parents took her and my son (1 yr old)  on vacation for 3 weeks. After they got back that's when I decided to put them in daycare. Now when I drop her off she just cries, but not as bad as before. But she still cries everyday and I don't want the other kids thinking she's a "cry baby". It's also really starting to get to me because I can't understand why she's doing this. I need some major advice.  

  

Also after I get home my son does not let me put him down. He screams until he makes himself sick or even blue in the face if I'm not holding him. He never did this before my parents took them on vacation. Any tips on getting him to relax before he throws himself into an anxiety attack? 

 I also have a 2  1/2 in day care.He's been there a year now. At fist he use to cry every time I drop him off.  It  use to make me feel horrible,and I use to go to work worried about him. but know he loves it.He knows everyone there and says hi to everybody. tomorrow  the day care  is having a Halloween party,and I think I'm more excited then he is. My son has learned alot since going to the day care. Just give it some time.
 
November 1, 2005, 11:24 am CST

toddler that bites kids at day care

My son is 3 years old and will be 4 in March 

Lately i have been getting complaints from the day care that he has been biting other kids 

and sometimes he does it even it they are not fighting 

he will just to up to a kid and bite him for no reason 

i feel so ashamed and conserned , we have talked to him about it 

but seems like he is not listening  

he is still doing it 

  

what should i do???? 

 
November 1, 2005, 1:40 pm CST

Daycare/Babysitters/Nannies

Quote From: sonjii

My son is 3 years old and will be 4 in March 

Lately i have been getting complaints from the day care that he has been biting other kids 

and sometimes he does it even it they are not fighting 

he will just to up to a kid and bite him for no reason 

i feel so ashamed and conserned , we have talked to him about it 

but seems like he is not listening  

he is still doing it 

  

what should i do???? 

I have dealt with this when working daycare and I know how frustrating it is for the parents as wella s the teachers. I know that for the most part, that the kids who were biting were actually biting the same kid over and over, ona accasions they may bite another but usually it was the same, ask the teacher about this and if that is the case then they need to try theri best in keeping your child apart from that child. Also, have them to pin a teething toy on his shirt and every time he bites, they need to have him biting that, personally, I am not sure if that is a good technique but I know some teachers who used to do that. Is it possible for you to make it to the daycare in short notice? I know one day care, we could call the mother as soon as it happened, and she would be at the daycare dealing with her child, on some accasions taking him home. You may just need to keep him out of day care one day, tell him that since you have been biting then you cannot play with your friends, and don't send him. Alos, One little boy that I was dealing with that was always biting, even though he was the same age as the others in his class, he was bigger and even was doing things that those particualr kids were not doing, he wanted to sit and listen to stories, color and play dress up, well I suggested to the director at that time to promote him to the next age group which was an ok thing to do but she refused to do it cause the teacher didn't want to deal with it, I think the kid was bored and needed more activity and challenge, needless to say this director had him withdrawn from the program which I think was wrong in that particular case, could your child be bored and ready for more stimulation? These are only suggestions and may or may not work, some kids actually do better one on one or with a smaller group then they are already in, maybe a different setting would be better for him. Whatever the case, every kid I know that bit as a child out grew it, you just need to be consisitent and right on it, communicate with those involved, be stern with your child, I know it is hard. I hopew I helped a little, if I come up with more ideas, I will post them, I am sure others will come upwith some as well. :)
 
November 2, 2005, 11:10 am CST

babysitters

I am a stay at home mom to three wonderful rowdy boys.  I love being able to be with them although we could have better things if I worked. My problem is about babysitters.  I have not had a night out with my husband (or without) in eight years. We take our children everywhere we go.  We do not have family members able to help. I have tried to get a sitter but I usually felt they were too young to care for the baby.  But now he is one and into everything. Sometimes I get comments about watching all three is too much.  How do I trust people I barely know? How do I not?  I let my three year old play next door with a new neighbors 4 year old daughter (this was hard, but she came to our house everyday) and he came home and told me the little girl pulled down his pants and touched him.  I felt like it was all my fault. This is the only time I ever trusted someone else with my children and look what happened!  However, I need a break! I have to figure out how to find someone I can trust. Where do I start? How do I not have a panic attack if I do?
 
November 3, 2005, 8:45 am CST

how to start

Quote From: moms3boys

I am a stay at home mom to three wonderful rowdy boys.  I love being able to be with them although we could have better things if I worked. My problem is about babysitters.  I have not had a night out with my husband (or without) in eight years. We take our children everywhere we go.  We do not have family members able to help. I have tried to get a sitter but I usually felt they were too young to care for the baby.  But now he is one and into everything. Sometimes I get comments about watching all three is too much.  How do I trust people I barely know? How do I not?  I let my three year old play next door with a new neighbors 4 year old daughter (this was hard, but she came to our house everyday) and he came home and told me the little girl pulled down his pants and touched him.  I felt like it was all my fault. This is the only time I ever trusted someone else with my children and look what happened!  However, I need a break! I have to figure out how to find someone I can trust. Where do I start? How do I not have a panic attack if I do?

You deserve a break! 

To be a good mom, you need to allow yourself time to re-charge and get re-energized. 

This means when you find someone to watch the kids, have that person come to the house while you are there, too. Have the person interact with the children while you do laundry or other chores, this way you are able to listen in on what is going on. When you hear something that isn't quite right, all you need to do is let that person know that you are all set, you decided you don't need a sitter... or, when you feel comfortable, let this person know what you think a reasonable amount of money to pay would be, and ask if they can start in small amounts of time, an hour here, then 3 hours next time, etc. This is just as beneficial to your children as it is to you, too, because they need to know how to act/react to another person's care. They will learn and grow from being exposed to different people, too. It is important that whoever watches the kids will do activities with them, I have three children also, and our sitter makes popcorn and they play games that the kids pick out. Make it a fun activity that they will look forward to. I wish you the best!! 

 
November 22, 2005, 8:38 am CST

Daycare/Babysitters/Nannies

Quote From: sonjii

My son is 3 years old and will be 4 in March 

Lately i have been getting complaints from the day care that he has been biting other kids 

and sometimes he does it even it they are not fighting 

he will just to up to a kid and bite him for no reason 

i feel so ashamed and conserned , we have talked to him about it 

but seems like he is not listening  

he is still doing it 

  

what should i do???? 

I totally sympathize with you on the biting thing. When my daughter was around the same age she would do the same thing. The people i babysat for started calling her shark. She would bite so hard that she would leave bruises. She would look like she was going to give the kids a kiss and then all of a sudden she's be chomping on them. I was so embarrassed and didn't want the family to think that i wasn't watching them closely, it just happened so fast you couldn't stop it. She would even bite me if i payed attention to someone else. I tried talking to her and even tried biting her back, neither one worked. She eventually worked herself out of the stage but it was a ruff patch until she did.  

  

Good luck and i hope you find something fast! 

 
November 22, 2005, 3:34 pm CST

Daycare/Babysitters/Nannies

Quote From: misskanell

I think daycares are great, but how do I get my 2 1/2 year old to stop crying when I drop her off? I have taken her to 4 different babysitters in the past, but when I would drop her off she would look me in the eye and tell me "NO MOMMY, NO!!" She was obviously scared out of her mind at all 4 different places.  Then my parents took her and my son (1 yr old)  on vacation for 3 weeks. After they got back that's when I decided to put them in daycare. Now when I drop her off she just cries, but not as bad as before. But she still cries everyday and I don't want the other kids thinking she's a "cry baby". It's also really starting to get to me because I can't understand why she's doing this. I need some major advice.  

  

Also after I get home my son does not let me put him down. He screams until he makes himself sick or even blue in the face if I'm not holding him. He never did this before my parents took them on vacation. Any tips on getting him to relax before he throws himself into an anxiety attack? 

I think you have to take your cue from your kids.  

They are letting you know they are not ready to be away from you. It was not clear if you needed daycare to work or for your daughter to socialize? If it is not a "have to" thing then remember the more you try to forced the situation the worse it maybe come. She may just not be ready to feel safe with strangers. By supporting her she will grow up feeling like her needs matter to you, the most important person in her life. 

Your son may be feeling disconnected from you and feel you are distracted. Try giving him 10 -15 min. of attention when he acts this way, just sit and hold him and let him know that you think he is as special as he thinks you are. 

  

Even though the crying can be hard and frustrating, remember that they are just trying to communicate and just want their needs met by the one they love the most. 

 
November 22, 2005, 5:29 pm CST

I work at a Learning Center/Daycare

Quote From: lady143

I think you have to take your cue from your kids.  

They are letting you know they are not ready to be away from you. It was not clear if you needed daycare to work or for your daughter to socialize? If it is not a "have to" thing then remember the more you try to forced the situation the worse it maybe come. She may just not be ready to feel safe with strangers. By supporting her she will grow up feeling like her needs matter to you, the most important person in her life. 

Your son may be feeling disconnected from you and feel you are distracted. Try giving him 10 -15 min. of attention when he acts this way, just sit and hold him and let him know that you think he is as special as he thinks you are. 

  

Even though the crying can be hard and frustrating, remember that they are just trying to communicate and just want their needs met by the one they love the most. 

I can give you FIRST HAND advise from someone who is a worker at a daycare. I am a classroom teacher, primarily for the ones and two-year-olds. 

  

Separation anxiety happens with almost all children.  It is understandable.  But, I can guarantee that by you placing more attention to it, the worse it will get. We have several ones and especially two year olds who cry "Mommy, Daddy" for about 15 minutes after they get dropped off. What we, the teachers do, is called redirecting, getting the child onto another activity, with their friends, while mom and dad slip out quietly.  It is common. It is heartbreaking. It CAN BE OVERCOME......  

  

We had a boy who would CRY AND SCREAM Mommy Daddy ALL DAY LONG. That was about 3 weeks ago. Now his parents drop him off, and he is with his friends and happy.  You have to learn by kids crying, having a tantrum, WHATEVER, they are doing this for attention.  

  

We, at our learning center, are very loving and caring workers. We do all we can to make the child feel comfortable. It is so hard for the parents. To hear your child screaming is heartbreaking.  

  

(In another comment I saw someone write about biting--THIS IS SOOOO COMMON. Some children bite more than others. We redirect and make them sit for a while. Telling them they have to be nice to their friends, ETC......) 

  

Let me also comment on the fact that make sure you are taking your child to a very good learning center/daycare. Where I work is a learning center/daydare/preschool. We have lesson plans, even for infants, ones, twos. We stimulate the brain ALL DAY LONG. There are STRICT RULES about everything. Ratios, food handeling, positive reinforcement.........Make sure you walk through daycares during regular hours. Notice how the teachers are. Notice the directors of the daycare.  

  

Its like if you put your child to bed. They cry, they scream. Parents give them attention. The child has got what he/she wanted. You have to learn to reinforce what you are teaching and do not give in.  Put them back in the bed. Over and over. No talking while you do this. Do not look at them while you do this. They will learn.........This is what happens and the kids basically run over the parents like a steamroller. 

  

Another point I want to make is that I have seen children inside of daycare and ones who have not been to daycare. Daycare/Learning Centers are SOOO beneficial. My two years olds that I have are so far ahead of twos I have seen just sitting at home with mommy. They are serving themselves, eating with utensils and regular cups..From ages 1-5 their brains are like sponges. Get the kids involved in manipulatives, creative play, building blocks, socialization. It is so beneficial for them.  

  

Good luck to everyone contemplating on this and I hope I have shed some light on the topic. 

  

 
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