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Topic : 07/21 Settle This

Number of Replies: 357
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, April 07, 2006, 10:04:37 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/10/06) Are you and your spouse caught in a never-ending battle over who's right? DrPhil.com users wrote in about the biggest problems in their relationships. Heather says her biological clock is a ticking time bomb, but her husband, Steve, says they aren't ready for a baby. What does Dr. Phil think? Then, Roberta has been trying to get her husband to work on their relationship by reading one of Dr. Phil's books, but he refuses. Will he have an excuse after the show? And, Rita is asking her husband, Jeff, "Where's the romance?" Jeff says after eight years of marriage, he shouldn't have to wine and dine his wife. Will they meet in the middle? Plus, should a husband have to give up his testosterone toy, and how do you decide how big your wedding should be? Dr. Phil steps in to decide who's right once and for all. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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April 9, 2006, 10:03 am CDT

To have a child or not?

Hello, My name is Brenda. I didnt get to see the show you was on but as a woman who had her children young I wanted to share my views about this subject. I was 19 when I had my first baby. My husband did not want a baby. I wanted a baby so I would have someone that would always love me. I had a great childhood but I had very low self esteem due to my being overweight. The day My daughter was born(july 23, 1982 was one of the greatest days in my life. Even my husband came around and really acted like he was proud of her, for about 6months. He is a alcoholic and a drug addict. 

      When I held my daughter for the first time it was the best feeling I ever had. While I understand the urge to have a baby is strong, The fact that the husband doesnot feel ready has to be sonsidered. A baby is not something you can get and just take it back if you dont want it. Well I know you can adopt a child but in the case I dont think that  is a option. 

     I love being a mom so much that I had 2 more children, another daughter in 1985 and a son in 1986. I ended up divorcing my husband when I was 5 months pregnant with my son. I couldnot put up with the drinking and drugs anymore.  

     So there I was 23 years old when my son was born. My children at that point were 3, 18months and a newborn. Thwe only way I was able to get through and raise 3 children was tehre grandparents ( Their dads parents) helped me. The reason I posted this message is to say If a spouse is not ready for a baby dont push them.  

But also to the spouse that does not want a baby you need to consider your spouse feelings to.  

     I dont think anyone is really ready to have a baby. You have no ideal what is like. While I never regret having my children I want to warn others that it a hard long road when you have to raise a baby alone, even with help from Grandparents. 

     I now 42 years old. My children are all grown and I have 2 grandbabies. I have to admit being a grandma id great. I Unfortunatly live 600miles form my grandbabies. 

      Some people say it is good to have kids when your young. Well I did have kids young and wouldno trade anyof them. But I even told my kids I wish I had waited till I was older. 

  

 
April 9, 2006, 10:10 am CDT

Giving yourself love

               Dr. Phil says " Give yourself the love you wish you received." 

       Does anyone understand what Phil means?  I wish he would throughly 

       explain what he means on the show. 

  

               Elizabeth 

 
April 9, 2006, 2:29 pm CDT

explanation

Quote From: beth93

               Dr. Phil says " Give yourself the love you wish you received." 

       Does anyone understand what Phil means?  I wish he would throughly 

       explain what he means on the show. 

  

               Elizabeth 

Dr. Phil means that if the people in your life don't treat you in ways you wish to be treated, then you should treat yourself in those ways. For example, if your husband never says "I love you," you should say that you love yourself. Basically he's saying that you should never rely on anyone to make you happy.
 
April 9, 2006, 6:18 pm CDT

04/10 Settle This

I am a mother of 3 and I had them in 4 years and I just turned 30....If I had my way I would not have have my 3rd so soon after my second and really do you want ot spend the next 4 yrs pregnant? I am assuming you want more than one child...that is alot of work and its a huge financial responsability.  I know that you can never been 100% ready for kids but take your time you are young..the only advantage I see for me is that my kids will be in college/or in a career by the time I am in my 50's which is still young enough for me to do many of the things that I want to do.....but if I had waited maybe I could have done some of that before the kids. So you have to be ready for your life to change in an instant, literally the day you have your first child you life changes so much I dont think alot of people realize just how drastic a change it is....the life you had is now replaced with a life as not only a wife but mother too! Anyway, that is just my 2 cents!
 
April 9, 2006, 6:56 pm CDT

Some People Think They Are ALAWYS Right.

I was married to one of those types and our marriage did not work out. He wanted to re-marry me, but I did not want the fights all over again. I thought it was the alcoholism on his part, and for the most part it was. He had no Driver's license. It was revoked yrs ago, and he's arguing over taking the car. When he drove his own, he had no regard for the law or other motorists. He tailgated, sped, jumped those "safety islands", you name it. We argued over money as he just spent it all, not considering bills or anything. I work, but would not give him mine. Yet, in his eyes he is always right. Those kinds of people drive me nuts. They don't want to come to a happy medium cause they are so self absorbed.
 
April 10, 2006, 6:51 am CDT

04/10 Settle This

Quote From: vartanho

Hi there!  I'm Heather, the one who wants the baby on Monday's show :).  I'm 26 years old, which I know sounds young to be so crazy about having a baby.  I want to be done having children by the time I'm 30, just as a personal preferance.  On the show, I said I don't want to be an old mom, which I apologize in advance for if it offends you.  I didn't really want to say it on camera.  My husband has come around a lot since the show though, so hopefully I won't be waiting those 2-5 years!
I am not offended. Every one has to dow hat is right for them and as a couple, you need tow ork together to come upw ith a plan that will work for both of you. Children are a blessing and a gift but also take a lot of work and committment. I personally did not plan on waiting til 37 to have my first but mother nature didn't work the way I wanted it to but all in all, I believe my children came into the world when theyw ere suppose and I thank God for them regularly. Life is good, even at my age, so no, being offended is not for me. for I know that that I am actually the perfect age for my kids. :)
 
April 10, 2006, 7:01 am CDT

Young Parent

I don't think there is anything wrong with being a young parent. I have 4 children and I am 28 yrs old. I am a stay at home Mom and my husband is a Pharmacist. We wanted all of our children before we were 30. I like the thought of my children all being in college or done with it by the time I am 43.
 
April 10, 2006, 7:13 am CDT

"Reading Dr. Phil"

When I find a book that I think my husband should "read", I buy him the audio book. It works great!
 
April 10, 2006, 7:43 am CDT

4/10 Show

I was glad to hear Dr. Phil and so many of the audience members agree with the woman who wanted more romance from her husband.  I would like to add my thoughts.  Men should stop reading men's magazine articles about how to please their women and listen to the women!  If you really want to put your wives in the mood, give the kids a bath, fold a load of laundry, wash the dishes, or help pick up around the house before heading to bed.  If she's not exhausted, your odds are going to go way up! 

 
April 10, 2006, 7:53 am CDT

Alien Creatures

Women are alien creatures from another planet sent here by the all knowing sex God "Grog" as punishment to men for being born a male human being. ( LOL) Women run on pure emotion (not all) and for the most part are in LOVE with an idea of LOVE. Where men run on football, beer and power tools (not all), women demand more attention than a 1969 Chevy pick up truck with a blown engine, flat tires, rusted out bed and a busted windshield. Beware ye yound men out there, a young woman has one thing on her mind, set up house, make babies and make you pay for it! May Grog Bless you............ 

 
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