Topic : 07/21 Settle This

  My biggest grip is that my father-in-law moved into our 1st apartment together before my husband an i did.  That was over 5 yrs ago an we are still supporting him.  He doesn't work an if u want him to help around the house we have to pay him an by him a pint.  All he does is drink an make a mess.  I am feed up.  If he does have money from one of his 2 day jobs he waste it never tries to help with an bills.  He will get money from his friend an buy a 2 liter an its his an his only.  What about all the food, water, heat,  clothes, an roof that we provide.  Shouldn't that be his payment?  Shouldn't he also help around the house for free?  We are also raising our 7 yr old nephew.  So I am a stay at home an my husband is the only one that works.  I think that it is one thing for my husband to suport me since it is something that we decided together an since my father in law wouldn't babysit while i worked.  I don't think he should use the excuss that i don't work as one for him not to work.  Someone help me because my husband won't make him leave because it is his dad.  Did i mention that he also lived with my sister in law for a year.  Someone help get this 43 yr old man to work an out of my house so i know what its like to have a normal marriage.  This is killing my marriage.   

I had my first kid at 21 and my second at 23 . Me and my  husband have been married now for almost 25 years it will be our Anniversary  and we didn't plan out any thing or save any money  we just took them as they came my son is 25 and my daughter is 23 and we are friends and we all had to grow up toghter. My kids grow up around all kind of  people they knew there p&q's and were very well behaved my daughter had Cancer when she was a year old  my son was never left behind in anything where she went we all went my daughter went to camp my son went with her  as  they go older my son had a problem with his sister it is just now they can talk to each other  . My daughter still lives with us and my son does not .   My mother did the same thing I'm 20 years younger than  my mom and dad 

I had my first kid at 21 and my second at 23 . Me and my  husband have been married now for almost 25 years it will be our Anniversary  and we didn't plan out any thing or save any money  we just took them as they came my son is 25 and my daughter is 23 and we are friends and we all had to grow up toghter. My kids grow up around all kind of  people they knew there p&q's and were very well behaved my daughter had Cancer when she was a year old  my son was never left behind in anything where she went we all went my daughter went to camp my son went with her  as  they go older my son had a problem with his sister it is just now they can talk to each other  . My daughter still lives with us and my son does not .   My mother did the same thing I'm 20 years younger than  my mom and dad 

I had my first kid at 21 and my second at 23 . Me and my  husband have been married now for almost 25 years it will be our Anniversary  and we didn't plan out any thing or save any money  we just took them as they came my son is 25 and my daughter is 23 and we are friends and we all had to grow up toghter. My kids grow up around all kind of  people they knew there p&q's and were very well behaved my daughter had Cancer when she was a year old  my son was never left behind in anything where she went we all went my daughter went to camp my son went with her  as  they go older my son had a problem with his sister it is just now they can talk to each other  . My daughter still lives with us and my son does not .   My mother did the same thing I'm 20 years younger than  my mom and dad 

There obviously has to be some compromise with the vehicle situation.  As a wife & a Jeep lover I can understand both sides. Ever thought about getting rid of the bike and keeping the Jeep?  Or how about a Jeep Cherokee - more room & family oriented (maybe automatic to accomodate her)?   Good Luck !! 

Hi Steve and Heather... 

I was there at the show you were on, actually had a great time...LOL 

But, I will have to agree with Heather, I am a mom of 2 children, and to be honest there is never a good time to have children, now I'm not saying if you neither of you have a job or in major financial debt, then of course it's REALLY not a good time to have a child.  But, both of my parents were older when they had me, (30-35), and to be honest I am very mad at them for doing that.  For one, I'm very lucky they are in good health and still do what ever they want at 67-72, but I feel a little cheated (or selfish) that they might not get to see their great grandkids, and two, I never had a grandpa, they were both dead b4 I was even a year old.  Also, yes, I had my first one when I was 20, (he is like my best friend), and was not married to his dad, then 4 1/2 yrs later, met my husband, and I told him if we didn't have a child by the time I was 30 we wouldn't have one, well, needless to say my other son was born right at 9mo. after our wedding... yeah, that was a little quick, but I don't regreat it cuz I can still relate to my kids and enjoy still being young and able to keep up with them. 

My brother who is 5 yrs older than me did what my mom and dad did, and his kids are only 5 & 8 and he and his wife are 43, and when I get to be 40, my oldest will be 20.  Just my feelings on it, just thought I would share.  But really good luck to you both, and hope you had as good of a time as I did... 

Lisa