Topic : 07/21 Settle This

There obviously has to be some compromise with the vehicle situation.  As a wife & a Jeep lover I can understand both sides. Ever thought about getting rid of the bike and keeping the Jeep?  Or how about a Jeep Cherokee - more room & family oriented (maybe automatic to accomodate her)?   Good Luck !! 

My girlfriend and me are both 33 years old and have been going out for almost 2 years. We met at work and have so much in common it's scary. 

My girlfriend and I love each other very much but we have had many problems. Since we have been going out for all that time she hasn't met my family other then recently meeting my Dad for 2 mins. When I first met her after 2 mths I invited her to go to my Birthday diner with my Dad and his girlfriend and she said that she wasn't ready to do this and would eventually. So I have been waiting since 2 mths into our relationship for her to go to dinner with me and 1 of my family members and despite all her promises it hasn't happened. 

She is extremely afraid of meeting my family and friends and this is creating problems in our relationship. 

Generally I have followed and respected he wishes with helping her deal with her anxiety by not talking about my family too much and not asking her to meet them.  But I feel like she is playing a game with me and manipulating me. She has promised me that she would meet them and that we would get married someday. But my hope is dwindling. Recently I have brought up to her how I want he to meet them but this creates our worst fights. 

On this Sunday her parents came by with a 2 min notice to my place and my dishes weren't clean and my shirt was off and my hair was messed up. I quickly threw things together. I wasn't prepared for them but I didn't mind if they came by because they were picking up our laundry and I like seeing them. 

Later that day, early evening, my girlfriend and I got into a fight when I brought up that my family could never come by on the fly like her family had that morning. In the past she would drive away or we would fight for the day and she would go home avoiding having to meet anyone I know and there would be sometimes days of drama over this. 

We always watch Dr. Phil and I have read several of his books and listened to some of his seminars and I have tried to do my part to change myself. But my girlfriend hasn't read the 2nd copy of the Relationship Rescue book I bought her. 1 copy for me 1 for her. We both have psychological degrees and backgrounds. 

I am kind of at a lose as to what to do because our fights get very bad where I bring up that I want her to meet my family and then this starts her into a barrage of insults, score keeping style attacks which sometimes leads to her hitting me. I avoid insulting her at all costs and never have pulled out the "big guns" nor, would I want to because I love her a lot, but after she has insulted me, my family and then said she will go to a hotel room and find someone to sleep with for the night that's where I loose it and force-ably try to remove her from my apartment. I never hit her and I try everything with her before that happens. I try walking away for an hour, I try talking to her and I walk away but eventually this is hard because its my apartment and it gets late and I just want to go to bed. 

What am I suppose to do? I want her to meet my family and have respected her wishes to not talk about he meeting my family for months at a time but I feel like after 2 years of going out with her that I really have a strong need to want her to meet my family. I really want to marry this women. We have both been in awful relationships where people cheated on us. I really have tried everything with her. Were at the point were we need outside help like a therapist etc. 

Should I not ask her to go out for a cup of coffle with my dad her and me or my mom her and me? Or should I keep up a dialogue with her about this knowing that it might lead to her kicking my ass and us fighting for days? What should I do? Do you guys have helpful suggestions for me? I want to stay with her and work it out but this is hard to deal with. 

Marriage was easy, compared to having a child in the picture. Parenting is a whole other topic! Actually, I was surprised that he even cared to put in his two cents. I thought he would just say, "you're the mom, you're with her 98% of the time, you know what's best."  

He thought I was overprotective. And sometimes I thought he was crazy! He was tossing her in the air when she was 1 mo old. gave her sugary snacks when she was first starting to eat, milk and cheese when she was 8 mos old, and fed her nuts when she didn't have molars. I could go on. 

It drove me crazy, she is still alive and healthy. But this is what happened. At 5 months old he tossed her so high she hit her head on the ceiling fan, he never did it again. I gave him papers from doctors on why children should not have dairy until 12 months old, he stopped giving her dairy. Then she eventually choked on the nuts he gave her, she got it out on her own and threw up. After cleaning her up, he said he would never give it to her again. 

Well, at least we got it figured out on the first child, now the others can be normal! 

My girlfriend and me are both 33 years old and have been going out for almost 2 years. We met at work and have so much in common it's scary. 

My girlfriend and I love each other very much but we have had many problems. Since we have been going out for all that time she hasn't met my family other then recently meeting my Dad for 2 mins. When I first met her after 2 mths I invited her to go to my Birthday diner with my Dad and his girlfriend and she said that she wasn't ready to do this and would eventually. So I have been waiting since 2 mths into our relationship for her to go to dinner with me and 1 of my family members and despite all her promises it hasn't happened. 

She is extremely afraid of meeting my family and friends and this is creating problems in our relationship. 

Generally I have followed and respected he wishes with helping her deal with her anxiety by not talking about my family too much and not asking her to meet them.  But I feel like she is playing a game with me and manipulating me. She has promised me that she would meet them and that we would get married someday. But my hope is dwindling. Recently I have brought up to her how I want he to meet them but this creates our worst fights. 

On this Sunday her parents came by with a 2 min notice to my place and my dishes weren't clean and my shirt was off and my hair was messed up. I quickly threw things together. I wasn't prepared for them but I didn't mind if they came by because they were picking up our laundry and I like seeing them. 

Later that day, early evening, my girlfriend and I got into a fight when I brought up that my family could never come by on the fly like her family had that morning. In the past she would drive away or we would fight for the day and she would go home avoiding having to meet anyone I know and there would be sometimes days of drama over this. 

We always watch Dr. Phil and I have read several of his books and listened to some of his seminars and I have tried to do my part to change myself. But my girlfriend hasn't read the 2nd copy of the Relationship Rescue book I bought her. 1 copy for me 1 for her. We both have psychological degrees and backgrounds. 

I am kind of at a lose as to what to do because our fights get very bad where I bring up that I want her to meet my family and then this starts her into a barrage of insults, score keeping style attacks which sometimes leads to her hitting me. I avoid insulting her at all costs and never have pulled out the "big guns" nor, would I want to because I love her a lot, but after she has insulted me, my family and then said she will go to a hotel room and find someone to sleep with for the night that's where I loose it and force-ably try to remove her from my apartment. I never hit her and I try everything with her before that happens. I try walking away for an hour, I try talking to her and I walk away but eventually this is hard because its my apartment and it gets late and I just want to go to bed. 

What am I suppose to do? I want her to meet my family and have respected her wishes to not talk about he meeting my family for months at a time but I feel like after 2 years of going out with her that I really have a strong need to want her to meet my family. I really want to marry this women. We have both been in awful relationships where people cheated on us. I really have tried everything with her. Were at the point were we need outside help like a therapist etc. 

Should I not ask her to go out for a cup of coffle with my dad her and me or my mom her and me? Or should I keep up a dialogue with her about this knowing that it might lead to her kicking my ass and us fighting for days? What should I do? Do you guys have helpful suggestions for me? I want to stay with her and work it out but this is hard to deal with.