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Topic : 04/12 Dangerous Love

Number of Replies: 594
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Created on : Friday, April 07, 2006, 10:09:03 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
If two people are truly in love, does anyone have the right to judge them? What if their relationship crosses moral boundaries? Jeremy, 16, is disturbed that his 45-year-old father, Chuck, is engaged to a 17-year-old girl who used to be his classmate. Chuck says he wants to spend the rest of his life with Michelle. The constant fighting in the house led to Jeremy moving out. Why did Michelle's mom allow her daughter to move in with Chuck? Did Chuck mislead her? See what Dr. Phil tells these parents they must do. Then, Angela is repulsed that her brother, Anthony, wants to marry their second cousin, Tosha. Anthony says he loves Tosha and nothing's going to stop their relationship from moving forward. Does Angela have a legitimate reason to be concerned? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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April 10, 2006, 12:22 pm CDT

Well, where do you draw the line?

Quote From: latinlover

I have a problem with cousin's getting married. It is sick. There is a difference in family and someone you could spend the rest of your life together with. If they have children together something could be wrong with that child. Don't anyone read the bible.
We're ALL cousins, just some are closer than others.  What if someone marries their 5th cousin?  Their 4th?  Their 3rd?  I had a bit of a crush on a guy when I was in high school who unbeknownst to me was my 3rd cousin.  What if the female is above reproductive age or one is sterile?  I'm 44 & have a 50 year-old 2nd cousin who's single.  What if I married him but we had no kids?  Who would we be hurting? 
 
April 10, 2006, 2:32 pm CDT

You said it

Quote From: msnacn

Wow is almost all I can get out! A 45 Year old man has no business with a 17 yr old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a perverted freak-here in the US we have a name for people like you Chuck----CHILD MOLESTER. About marrying your 2nd cousin-EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW. I'm sorry but there are just too many people in the world to have to look in your own gene pool. Let's get real here people. Your poor kids will have to suffer far more than WV jokes in school-Why don't people think about what they do? It does affect more than just you when you have kids.

        I agree. Some people in this world are just nasty. Chuck needs to find a grown up not some teeny bopper. Why  he would let some one come between him and his son is not right.(especially a 17 year old girl)... It kinda makes you wonder why can't he find someone his own age? MMM maybe cause the grown ups know what kind of guy he is.. I thought you were not "LEGAL" until 18... guess all states are different.  

   I think to want to marry your cousin is just nasty... guess some people out there just don't know right from wrong.....It will be the kids they have that will pay the price for there being sooooooo ignorant..... 

 
April 10, 2006, 2:38 pm CDT

guess not

Quote From: latinlover

I have a problem with cousin's getting married. It is sick. There is a difference in family and someone you could spend the rest of your life together with. If they have children together something could be wrong with that child. Don't anyone read the bible.
   no I do not believe they do that is what is wrong with the world....  If they did they would know right from wrong..
 
April 10, 2006, 3:46 pm CDT

We are all cousins

Quote From: groovy

We're ALL cousins, just some are closer than others.  What if someone marries their 5th cousin?  Their 4th?  Their 3rd?  I had a bit of a crush on a guy when I was in high school who unbeknownst to me was my 3rd cousin.  What if the female is above reproductive age or one is sterile?  I'm 44 & have a 50 year-old 2nd cousin who's single.  What if I married him but we had no kids?  Who would we be hurting? 
 

 You are very right; we are all related in one way or another.  People have been marrying cousins for many, many years.  For example Joseph and Marry were cousins; I doubt anyone would call them sick or accuse their children of having genetic defaults.  True they were from a different era then the one we live in. But in fact marring cousin wasn’t considered taboo until the Catholic church outlawed it in the 4th century.   

 
April 10, 2006, 6:51 pm CDT

04/12 Dangerous Love

 My daughters friend, who just turned 16 two weeks ago, just had a baby girl this past weekend, with her ex-boyfriends 36 year old father.  Its disturbing to me that this pedophile is not being held accountable by the law.  And this young girls mother happily threw the baby shower.   And this so called mother has allowed this chlid to move in with this rapist.  Apparently, the mother is running her own agenda, and now has one less child at home to deal with.  Many parents boycotted the baby shower and forbid their children from attending, but I did buy a gift for my daughter to give because, right or wrong, its not that precious, innocent babys fault.  Thank god that my daughter (who is no angel by any means) thinks the whole thing is pretty gross.  My heart is very sad for this young girl and the situation that she is in.
 
April 10, 2006, 8:53 pm CDT

04/12 Dangerous Love

First-- we have no place to say what's right, and what isn't. Society changes over time, and what once was acceptable could be taboo at another point and vice versa. It's mostly just a matter of time, place and upbringing. Which is why it really is best to keep and open-mind.  

Love is love. Yes, a middle-aged man with a young girl can sound sketchy--- but that's something that should be worked out between them and the family. Not judged by gawking spectators like ourselves who only know half of it. Now, I'm not implying that just anything goes. What I'm saying is that it's closed-minded and foolish to automatically shun something solely because we find it "immoral"-- or because we were simply TOLD it was immoral and bad. Everyone has different morals, different values. You have to look at it objectively: we're just humans. We don't make universal laws. No one's opinion or way of life is superior to another's. And every person deserves the chance to find happiness, as well as love, for that matter. 

Life is simply too SHORT to be waste time bickering over who's right and who's wrong.  

 
April 10, 2006, 10:55 pm CDT

we are second cousins

Quote From: clsnyd1

i would like to know if anyone has a problem with cousins getting married?. we have known eachother for so long that we know how each other feels about all things.. i love my husband and we have a wonderful little girl together
we are second cousins . and we have a daughter together and she is wonderful, and no problems about her health. it is my grandma and his grandma, in witch are sisters and then we are down the line
 
April 11, 2006, 7:42 am CDT

don't judge....

hi all. i don't think people should judge others. we may want some advice.. but when it comes down to it-it's all about the specific couple. they have minds of their own & we cant & shouldnt live our lives for anyone but God & ourselves. 1 thing we should ask when getting into ANY relationship---how does that person make us feel? how do they treat us??? can i live w/the answers to those questions my entire life? yes, considering others is a good idea BUT noone lives there life for others only for themselves. consider all the differences... are they major? like our belief system... our morols...but if they are minor...compromise is key. so let people live their own lives w/out everyones opinions...afterall, its the couple who have to deal w/ all this together. they'll figure it out...one way or another.
 
April 11, 2006, 9:14 am CDT

Y'all don't know jack

I am the 17 yr. old that is engaged to Chuck. In Indiana, it is quite legal for us to be together. We are not getting married until I am done with college and have my career under control. We want to make sure I am ready for that commitment. We have been together for a year and a half, and that is a hell of a lot longer than most people thought we would make it. As far as children go we agreed not until I am at least 28. Chuck is a great guy, and a great father. He is stable and encourages his children to do what they believe is right. Which is why we went on the show. So watch what you say, you never know, the heart of me could be the face of your child one day. Think about that.  

  

Michelle

 
April 11, 2006, 12:04 pm CDT

Dangerous Love and Self Love

             Nothing is wrong with relatives marrying each other.  They know the "true" heart of the person thy desire to become their life time partner. 

   

             The only problem occurs when people marrying without truly knowing the other person.  This challenge deals with giving yourself the love you wish you received.  Whatever they qualities they love in the other person, could be based upon those qualities filling a void. 

  

          

            Speaking of which does anyone understand what Phil means when he says you must love 

yourself emotionally and spiritually?  I asked myself this question after a hard weekend.  I had hurt myself via scratching myself when I became angry and upset with myself.  I feel the pain when I look at the wounds.  Hiding the outer wounds from others is hard.. especially  my male friend.  I know he would become upset if he saw the wounds. 

  

Beth 

 
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