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Topic : 04/12 Dangerous Love

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Created on : Friday, April 07, 2006, 10:09:03 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
If two people are truly in love, does anyone have the right to judge them? What if their relationship crosses moral boundaries? Jeremy, 16, is disturbed that his 45-year-old father, Chuck, is engaged to a 17-year-old girl who used to be his classmate. Chuck says he wants to spend the rest of his life with Michelle. The constant fighting in the house led to Jeremy moving out. Why did Michelle's mom allow her daughter to move in with Chuck? Did Chuck mislead her? See what Dr. Phil tells these parents they must do. Then, Angela is repulsed that her brother, Anthony, wants to marry their second cousin, Tosha. Anthony says he loves Tosha and nothing's going to stop their relationship from moving forward. Does Angela have a legitimate reason to be concerned? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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April 11, 2006, 5:10 pm CDT

04/12 Dangerous Love

Quote From: haylee

ok so i am a 13 year old girlwho thinks it would be awsome to be marring a old guy so exicting and different i don't see anything wrong with it

Sweetie, have you ever seen an old man naked?  They are wrinkled and they have hair and skin hanging around where it shouldn't. Imagine kissing up with THAT??  

  

It is one thing to marry someone age appropriate and growing old lovingly together, but there is no glamour in a May/December romance for the person still in their youth. 

 
April 11, 2006, 5:15 pm CDT

One Word: Therapy....

Quote From: groovy

  

Each day I watch the news and there is usually something in there that is shocking, sad, unbelievable, and idiotic. This guy that is 45 involved with a 17 year old teen really fits all the catagories. This young man probably is way over due for some professional counseling. The young lady is due to grow up in her own time. Has this guy ever given any thought to the idea that if they have any children he will be at least 63 years old  when the child graduates from high school. When his 17 year old bride is 67 years old and ready to draw social security he will be 113 years old? Do the math.......... 

I can only imagine how dysfunctional not only their family, but what their friends will be.  My condolences their realtionship is doomed. 

 
April 11, 2006, 5:21 pm CDT

blah blah blah

Quote From: bass61688

Look, face it, love is love, and people in our society think they have the answers to everything, when they don't even have all the right questions. I love Chuck, and he loves me. No one knows the heart-ships we have been through, nor the pain. Most of my family hates every ounce of Chuck, and yet he has done nothing to harm them. I am my own person, and am more mature than most 17 yr. olds. For those of you whom are behind the two of us, you know how it feels to be in love, for those who aren't, you all don't know the meaning or the feeling. One day you will and eventually will stand behind us.  Thank you 

  

Michelle 

I could just go on for hours about this.....espically the "I'm more mature than most 17 y/o" comment.  Ask any 17 year old girl if she is more mature than her peers.  What will she say?  The exact same thing.  I will pray for you.  I will pray that either your relationship lasts, or that you don't feel completely humiliated years from now when you are divorced and more "mature" and then you realize how stupid you looked on national television when you were 17 spewing about how much you love this guy.  Hmmm, I guess you know what I think.  I've got to stop now before I start an endless debate with a 17 year old.  Save your breath everyone.  Love is blind. 

 
April 11, 2006, 5:55 pm CDT

Chuck wants you to THINK he loves you.

Quote From: bass61688

Look, face it, love is love, and people in our society think they have the answers to everything, when they don't even have all the right questions. I love Chuck, and he loves me. No one knows the heart-ships we have been through, nor the pain. Most of my family hates every ounce of Chuck, and yet he has done nothing to harm them. I am my own person, and am more mature than most 17 yr. olds. For those of you whom are behind the two of us, you know how it feels to be in love, for those who aren't, you all don't know the meaning or the feeling. One day you will and eventually will stand behind us.  Thank you 

  

Michelle 

And he wants you to think you're head over heels in love with him.  So he's likely taking you to the movies & out to dinner, buying you romantic gifts, telling you he loves you, etc.  The likely true story is that he DOESN'T love you, but loves being sexually active with a 17 year-old girl.  THIS is how he's able to accomplish that by MANIPULATING you into thinking he's in love with you.  If he didn't have you, he'd be doing the same thing with another girl.  YOU likely don't matter to him but your youthful body does.   

Probably every teen thinks they're mature for their age.  And you surely think the people on this board don't understand you & Chuck & "true love."  There's a lot of collective wisdom on this board.  One day you'll understand what's truly going on with Chuck & it's likely not what you think.  I think you should pay close attention to what your family is telling you.   

 
April 11, 2006, 5:57 pm CDT

!!!

Quote From: tripleh

About the story with Chuck, I thought I heard it all but this goes way beyond border line. It's down right criminal.... a 45 year old guy marring a MINOR.... A MINOR!!!! people WAKE UP and smell the coffee!!!!!! If Chuck says he is in love with a 17 year old girl, he better live up to his word cause he'll be in serious troble.
Sheesh, no wonder women my age (44) have trouble finding a 45 year old man!!!
 
April 11, 2006, 6:02 pm CDT

Re. Therapy

Quote From: mrclean156

Each day I watch the news and there is usually something in there that is shocking, sad, unbelievable, and idiotic. This guy that is 45 involved with a 17 year old teen really fits all the catagories. This young man probably is way over due for some professional counseling. The young lady is due to grow up in her own time. Has this guy ever given any thought to the idea that if they have any children he will be at least 63 years old  when the child graduates from high school. When his 17 year old bride is 67 years old and ready to draw social security he will be 113 years old? Do the math.......... 

I can only imagine how dysfunctional not only their family, but what their friends will be.  My condolences their realtionship is doomed. 

Therapy is virtually useless for pedophiles.  I think they should all be put on a heavy-guarded internet-less island near either the North or South Pole.
 
April 11, 2006, 6:27 pm CDT

insane

Quote From: bass61688

I am the 17 yr. old that is engaged to Chuck. In Indiana, it is quite legal for us to be together. We are not getting married until I am done with college and have my career under control. We want to make sure I am ready for that commitment. We have been together for a year and a half, and that is a hell of a lot longer than most people thought we would make it. As far as children go we agreed not until I am at least 28. Chuck is a great guy, and a great father. He is stable and encourages his children to do what they believe is right. Which is why we went on the show. So watch what you say, you never know, the heart of me could be the face of your child one day. Think about that.  

  

Michelle

It's possible that Chuck loves you, but even if he does, you can still find someone who is more compatible with you. Imagine finding a man around your age - your family would accept him, he wouldn't die a decade before you - leaving you with children to raise alone, possibly in poverty, his family would accept you, and no one would regard your husband as a pedophile. Are you willing to sacrifice your peace of mind for this man? If so, love is more than just blind - it's insane.
 
April 11, 2006, 6:50 pm CDT

cousin marriage

  

  I am happily married to my second cousin. This isn't the first marriage for either of us. We have grown children and grandchildren. Our family (ies) all approve of our relationship. We didn't grow up together but saw each other through out our life.  It was a journey that took 38 years for us to be together.  

  

  For those that are against or repulsed by cousin marriage, a search on the web might enlighten you and also broaden your out look on this. There are websites that are dedicated to this and have loads of information.  Check it out. Possibly if you were to do a geneology search you may find some of the same relationships in your own family. 

 
April 11, 2006, 7:45 pm CDT

04/12 Dangerous Love

Quote From: bass61688

I am the 17 yr. old that is engaged to Chuck. In Indiana, it is quite legal for us to be together. We are not getting married until I am done with college and have my career under control. We want to make sure I am ready for that commitment. We have been together for a year and a half, and that is a hell of a lot longer than most people thought we would make it. As far as children go we agreed not until I am at least 28. Chuck is a great guy, and a great father. He is stable and encourages his children to do what they believe is right. Which is why we went on the show. So watch what you say, you never know, the heart of me could be the face of your child one day. Think about that.  

  

Michelle

I think both of you need to date around your own age. Besides that, you're not even 18 years old yet. You can't even legally drink. Which means...you need more time to enjoy life. You can't even vote yet or legally smoke. You're a child. I know you don't like to hear that but oh well. As far as I'm concerned, it is child-molestation. It may be legal in Indiana but in Texas yo boy would be in jail.! As far as children...are they older than you?!
 
April 11, 2006, 7:51 pm CDT

04/12 Dangerous Love

Quote From: bass61688

Look, face it, love is love, and people in our society think they have the answers to everything, when they don't even have all the right questions. I love Chuck, and he loves me. No one knows the heart-ships we have been through, nor the pain. Most of my family hates every ounce of Chuck, and yet he has done nothing to harm them. I am my own person, and am more mature than most 17 yr. olds. For those of you whom are behind the two of us, you know how it feels to be in love, for those who aren't, you all don't know the meaning or the feeling. One day you will and eventually will stand behind us.  Thank you 

  

Michelle 

You saying that proves even more how much of a kid you really are. Otherwise, you would see the problem like the rest of America that is against what you're saying. I know if feels good to date an older man but it wouldn't be so bad if you were 18... IT IS SICK!!! He is sick...you are nieve b/c you're a child & don't realize you don't know any better, but will in about 4 years. I'll pray for you. 

 
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