Quote From: justafanChuck and Michelle's situation is unique to them so YOU may not know what you're talking about either! Their problems are not as simple as deep love between two people mismatched by age. You are unique in that you have made a go of it with your marriage but you are the exception not the rule for some very good reasons.
The age difference isn't the ONLY issue but it is a BIG one because, in fact, there is almost 30 years between those two, not 20, and those 10 years make a huge difference. Also, our society is more tolerant of huge age differences between couples only when the two people involved are old enough and mature enough for their decision to be taken seriously, i.e. a 30 year-old and a 60 year-old.
Another difference is that Michelle has obvious, numerous and SERIOUS personal problems - runaway, rebellious, self-destructive, substance abuser, school drop-out. She is clearly in no state of mind to decide whether or not she is in love with anyone, never mind Chuck. She is perhaps punishing her parents but is really punishing herself. She has prostituted herself to Chuck in exchange for food and shelter, acquiring a sugar daddy. Chuck in turn is a john who is purchasing sex from a juvenile, while deluding himself that he is helping her.
Without education or financial resources, Michelle has positioned herself for life-long dependence on others, most likely men who look for that type of vulnerable woman as easy targets to abuse. She has absolved herself of responsibility for her own future. She is a mixed-up teenager who has been seduced and taken advantage of by a much, much older man who should know better.
As the adult in this situation, not only is Chuck screwing up Michelle's life but he is also screwing up his son's lives. As young as they are, they KNOW something is NOT right about what their father is up to. If he was a well-balanced, mature individual, he would understand the effect his actions are having and take a step back. If they were truly in love, mature love can wait until Michelle gets her act together and Chuck re-examines his own motives. As a grown man, presumably with a functioning brain, what possible stimulation, other than sex, could he receive from a 17 year-old school drop-out? I think Chuck must be incapable of interacting socially with women his own age, due to some deep personality flaw.
Michelle is damaged and he is damaging her further. She is obviously looking for a father figure to give her security and guidance but who wants to have sex with their father? Chuck is a predator who has escaped prosecution only because the laws in his jurisdiction are flawed, not because there is nothing wrong with what he is doing.
I mean, really, Chuck wants to be FRIENDS first with his children, and PARENT second. What a jerk! I am amazed his sons have turned out so well but I guess they have had to raise themselves and did a great job. Where is their mother???
Wow, you said what I feel and have posted but in so much more detail. I have tried to tell that poster you were responding to that you can't make such a broad generalization just because her young marriage to an older person worked out. It is actually dangerous to do so in Michelle's case because of her immaturity and background. And you are so on target about how she is setting herself up for failure and dependence in the future. She doesn't have the education nor the ability to hold a job and therefore will be dependent, mainly on the type of people who will exploit her. Amd Chuck is messed up too in his own way. You are right-he needs to be a parent first. And he is definitely using an immature unbalanced girl.
If two people are truly in love, does anyone have the right to judge them? What if their relationship crosses moral boundaries? Jeremy, 16, is disturbed that his 45-year-old father, Chuck, is engaged to a 17-year-old girl who used to be his classmate. Chuck says he wants to spend the rest of his life with Michelle. The constant fighting in the house led to Jeremy moving out. Why did Michelle's mom allow her daughter to move in with Chuck? Did Chuck mislead her? See what Dr. Phil tells these parents they must do. Then, Angela is repulsed that her brother, Anthony, wants to marry their second cousin, Tosha. Anthony says he loves Tosha and nothing's going to stop their relationship from moving forward. Does Angela have a legitimate reason to be concerned? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.
