Message Boards

Home

Message Boards

Topic : 04/12 Dangerous Love

Number of Replies: 595

New Messages This Week: 0

Last Reply On:

Created on : Friday, April 07, 2006, 10:09:03 am

Author : DrPhilBoard1

If two people are truly in love, does anyone have the right to judge them? What if their relationship crosses moral boundaries? Jeremy, 16, is disturbed that his 45-year-old father, Chuck, is engaged to a 17-year-old girl who used to be his classmate. Chuck says he wants to spend the rest of his life with Michelle. The constant fighting in the house led to Jeremy moving out. Why did Michelle's mom allow her daughter to move in with Chuck? Did Chuck mislead her? See what Dr. Phil tells these parents they must do. Then, Angela is repulsed that her brother, Anthony, wants to marry their second cousin, Tosha. Anthony says he loves Tosha and nothing's going to stop their relationship from moving forward. Does Angela have a legitimate reason to be concerned? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

More April 2006 Show Boards.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

( Subscribe to this Topic )

rebekah87

User Mood
Mellow

Message Emote

April 14, 2006, 2:18 pm PDT

04/12 Dangerous Love

Quote From: judyblue22

It wasn't concern, it was just an attempt to get at facts. A young woman who has had the drive and maturity to save up to buy a house, car and start a business is quite a different kettle of fish from someone who has a spouse with that kind of drive and uses the achievements of her spouse to somehow suggest she is mature.

I take it from your evasive answer that you didn't actually earn these things yourself?

I had started my buisness before we got together! So please dont talk to me about things you know nothing of.

Read Replies to this Message

purplepain

Message Emote

April 14, 2006, 2:38 pm PDT

04/12 Dangerous Love

Quote From: rebekah87

I have in my name thank you for your consurn!!!

I mean, are these things you have earned for yourself?

Read Replies to this Message

rebekah87

User Mood
Mellow

Message Emote

April 14, 2006, 2:54 pm PDT

04/12 Dangerous Love

Quote From: purplepain

I mean, are these things you have earned for yourself?

The house is not mine yet I just started to buy it. The car I bought a year before me and him got together and the buisness is mine I started it.

Read Replies to this Message

judyblue22

Message Emote

April 14, 2006, 5:13 pm PDT

04/12 Dangerous Love

Quote From: ponderer

On this and previous shows in which there is a big age difference between the partners, you (Dr. Phil) have indicated a serious reservation about such relationships. The one displayed on this show appeared to have some obvious flaws. BUT (and you might've known this was coming), I am testimony that such a relationship CAN work. I was 59 when I married my wife, who was 22 at the time. We have been married HAPPILY for 8 years and only recently have had a baby boy born to us. Both of us are fairly highly educated--we both have two Master's degrees and I have my doctorate. Maybe that indicates a certain level of maturity (or maybe not). I have a son and daughter from a previous marriage who are older than my wife and they have been gracious and accepting. I have five grandchildren older than their new uncle. We just enjoy the unusual aspects of our age difference. So...don't imply that a wide age difference between spouses can't work. In our case, it has been a great blessing to both of us.

Did you think about the fact that you likely won't live to see your son graduate from highschool when you decided to have a baby at 67 years old??

Read Replies to this Message

nicoleb81

User Mood
Happy

Message Emote

April 14, 2006, 6:56 pm PDT

even if she was 18

I'd still think she was too young for him, I mean she's still in her teens! What I don't understand is that if a person wants someone older than them, and say they're 22, wouldn't a 34 year old be a more practical choice than a 46 or 55 year old? Not would it be akward, because it would be like dating your mom or dad, but by the time you were their age, you would have to take care of them because they'll too old to take care of themselves.

Read Replies to this Message

cutemamma

User Mood
Weird

Message Emote

April 14, 2006, 8:38 pm PDT

04/12 Dangerous Love

Quote From: redlocks

I want you to know that there are many people out there whose marriages have a large age diference and they are not child molesters or sick! I met my husband when a was 17 and he was 37. We have been married for 25 years and have five children together.....is that sick? If Chuck has a habit of simply sleeping with teenagers yes that would be a sickness but simply the age diffence? Please! You don't know what you are talking about! Judgmental!

DON'T know what I am talking about??? Are you kidding? While I think it is such a beautiful thing that you found love with an older man, look at the rest of the picture. This girl is just waisting her life away. She has no plans of furthering her education. Or does she mention ambition she may have. What kind of life could she possibly live with out goals, ambitions, and success.

Another thing, Chuck has kids. One who is the some age as this girl. This is also tearing his family apart. That alone should raise red flags. Any relationship that causes chaos to a family is not healthy.

That IS SICK. PLAIN and SIMPLE.

Read Replies to this Message

ponderer

User Mood
Relaxed

Message Emote
quiet

April 14, 2006, 9:28 pm PDT

Some of the down-side of a wide age gap.

Quote From: judyblue22

Did you think about the fact that you likely won't live to see your son graduate from highschool when you decided to have a baby at 67 years old??

Yes, I did. And also the fact that my wife will likely be a young widow with a child...and that's the down-side. Our decision to have a baby was in part my feeling that she was entitled to have the experience of being a biological mother. Also, she is an only child and this would be the only chance her parents would have to have a grandchild that would carry the family name. My father is still living and is within 16 months of being 100 years old, and I just hope I have some of his strong genes. All this was discussed openly and weighed carefully and this was likely one of the most planned pregnancies on record! My wife is a professional teacher and her income, plus an inheritance from me, plus survivors benefits from me, will give her some security if she is widowed in the next 20 years. I have no reason to believe that I won't live at least long enough to give my new son a good foundation of positive morals and responsible solid values, and he will have relatives close by forming a good support system when I am gone. Yes...I thought about it. We've both decided that the positives outweigh the negatives--both about our marriage and about our having this baby. (Good question, though!)

Read Replies to this Message

barliat

User Mood
Mellow

Message Emote

April 14, 2006, 10:49 pm PDT

04/12 Dangerous Love

It is not the age difference between Chuck and Michelle that bothers me. What bothers me about Chuck is that he was in an "authoritive" position at the start of the relationship. Michelle's mother believed that she was moving in with him under the pretense that this was a "mentor/parental" arrangement. Granted Michelle's mother should never have let her daughter move in with Chuck in the first place. If things were that bad at home then a better option would have been to let Michelle move in with a relative.

Just like the Mary Kay Latouneau case, as a teacher she was an role model/authority figure to her students. To cross the line and sleep with a student was both morally and ethically wrong. Does it make it right now that they are now married. Absolutely not. The relationship started when she was a role model/authority figure in this boy's life.

Let's face it, a teenager is not an adult. For a 45 year old man to become involved with a teenager is wrong regardless of what the laws are. Chuck isn't doing this girl any favors. He certainly isn't encouraging this girl to go back to school and make something of herself. He is preventing her from learning the basic skills she needs to live on her own. He is only teaching her how to be dependant. Chuck has to much power and advantage over Michelle and that is what makes this relationship wrong more so than the age difference.

Read Replies to this Message

amillman

User Mood
Excited

Message Emote

April 15, 2006, 3:51 am PDT

4/12 Dangerous Love

Quote From: ddkkssca

you can't MAKE a kid do anything especially one that is getting in trouble in all areas of life. I have a 16 year old and last year was hell with him. He got kicked out of school, tried drugs, and it was just all bad. My husband and I were doing anything (grounding him, heart to heart talks, taking away stuff, and anything else we could think of and nothing worked...NOTHING...until he found football this past year and it has turned his life around. He was on a team that went to State Championship here in Wa State, had a perfect season and now works out daily with a trainer, gets b's and c's and truly has turned it around. Its not because of my husband and I...its becuase of him.

Your right, you can't .. But at least you tried everything you could. I too, was a mess as a teenager, a parents worse nightmare. I moved out of my parents house at 17 years old, and had my own apartment in my senior year of high school. I was a mess. But, the foundation my parents had been building for me all my life, gave me the sense to turn myself around. Your son learned from you! All the times you kept saying "where did we go wrong?", your son has showed you that you were right. He has proven to be the good kid you raised. He got lost, but he found his way home. Turning himself around had a lot to do with you and your husband.

Wow...thank you! I never looked at it that way. Its been a long difficult road and I am so proud of my son right now. He's still got moments...LOL But maybe I need to worry less and keep focused on him seeing me do and act the way I want him to...maybe that is in there and as he matures it will come out stronger and stronger. He is a good kid...and someday he'll understand what we have gone thru and it will finally click that we really do love him and want the best for him.

Read Replies to this Message

wxwmn02

User Mood
Good

Message Emote

April 15, 2006, 6:40 am PDT

Chuck and his "fiancee"

I think the reason chuck feels the way he does for this 17 year old is because his maturity level is on the same level as her.

When he said that he should be friends first and father second I realized, no wonder his sons are so mature...they had to grow up fast because their father was more immature than they are.

I think the relationship is doomed and I will bet that they won't make it to their wedding in how ever long he said it was going to be.

Read Replies to this Message

First | Prev | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | Next | Last

Recent Shows: Behind the Headlines | "Bring Me Back My Hot, Se... | Teen Mama Drama | Majoring in Failure? | A Father Accused: Who's T...