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Topic : 04/13 Engaged Too Soon!

Number of Replies: 152
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Created on : Friday, April 07, 2006, 10:11:35 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
How long does it take to know if you’ve found your soul mate? Years? Months? Weeks? Or could you know in only a few days? Just two weeks after their first date, Katie and Erik walked down the aisle. Did Katie get married so fast just to beat her sister to the altar? And is Erik everything he says he is? Find out what Dr. Phil learned about him through a background check. Then, Lance and Stacia knew each other only three months before marrying. Lance says that simply wasn’t long enough and so, within their first year of marriage, he had five affairs. Now, they are headed for divorce because they say they don’t really know each other. Can this marriage be saved? Next, Darcy is 51 and has been engaged seven times. At one point she was engaged to two men at the same time! Will she ever find love? Plus, Sandra has been engaged six times and married four – and she's barely 30 years old! Dr. Phil shows these guests – and you – how to Love Smart before rushing to the altar. Talk about the show here.

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June 6, 2006, 5:06 pm CDT

Monogamy or bust!

I have been pondering lately if humans are meant to mate for life. >>

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If you mean with one person, the answer is a resounding NO!  We are not meant to--simply because we are not designed or built to.  We are animals, and while, yes there are some species that practice monogamy, the majority do not--just like us!  The desire to mate with an attractive person (be they spouse, significant other, the hot girl in the upstairs apartment) is generally referred to as an urge.  That urge is an animalistic response that we all have.  The difference is how we manage it.

For the record, I've been married to my lovely wife for over 15 years without an instance of infedlity on my part.  On her part?  I can't know for sure, but I think it's also none.  But I do look at other girls and lust in my heart.  Is this wrong?  No.  I'm an animal, so I lust--but I'm also a human--so I control myself for the sake of my marriage.  It's important to me.  Those who stray from "the vows" think more of the sex than of their marriage.

Like so many conventions in our lives, marriage and fidelity are made up concepts (made up by humans for usually bizarre purposes) that we are expected to abide by--even though we're simply not made that way in our DNA.  Fidelity is a relatively recent concept in human development (another fairly recent concept, by the way, is humanity itself--y'know, from an anthrolpological standpoint).

Monogamy is a yoke that has been placed on our necks by people we'll never know.
 
August 18, 2008, 11:37 am CDT

Will he ever ask?

I am 19 and my boyfriend is 20. We have been together for over 3 years. He gave me a promise ring just 2 months after we started dating, which I still wear. He recently graduated college and I'm in my second year. He has a great job in his family business. A lot of our friends are engaged or married. We talk about marriage, we even looks for homes. I an just wondering if he is ever going to pop the question. I do not want to be married until I finish college and he knows that. However, I want to be engaged for a few years; I just want to take our relationship a step further and I want our families to know were serious and not treat us like kids anymore.
 
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