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Topic : 04/13 Engaged Too Soon!

Number of Replies: 152
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Created on : Friday, April 07, 2006, 10:11:35 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
How long does it take to know if you’ve found your soul mate? Years? Months? Weeks? Or could you know in only a few days? Just two weeks after their first date, Katie and Erik walked down the aisle. Did Katie get married so fast just to beat her sister to the altar? And is Erik everything he says he is? Find out what Dr. Phil learned about him through a background check. Then, Lance and Stacia knew each other only three months before marrying. Lance says that simply wasn’t long enough and so, within their first year of marriage, he had five affairs. Now, they are headed for divorce because they say they don’t really know each other. Can this marriage be saved? Next, Darcy is 51 and has been engaged seven times. At one point she was engaged to two men at the same time! Will she ever find love? Plus, Sandra has been engaged six times and married four – and she's barely 30 years old! Dr. Phil shows these guests – and you – how to Love Smart before rushing to the altar. Talk about the show here.

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April 9, 2006, 1:32 pm CDT

What's the rush?

You know what I don't get? What's the rush on getting married. I mean marriage is a life long commitment and people want to rush to the alter just to get married for the sake of it. What ever happened to taking your time and getting to know your lover before jumping into a wedding dress in a week? seriously..
 
April 9, 2006, 10:04 pm CDT

Education for Engaged Couples

   My son will be married in summer of 2006 and I have fears that he and his future bride are not ready and need to do more "homework" before they marry.  We do love my future daughter in law and her little girl as well.  My son is 21 ...his future bride is 25.  She is not divorced.   

  

    Dr. Phil has done many books and workbooks on saving your relationship,losing weight and various other topics.  I would love to see Dr. Phil publish  a book and workbook on the subject of engagement and try to include as many of the topics that a couple starting out should discuss..such as money, children, finances, work, religion, fighting fairly and anything else to improve improve their communication and increase the chances of a successful, long and happy marriage.  Lists of warning signs, deal breakers anything helpful would be great. 

  

    Both my husband and I were divorced when we married 18 years ago...we are happily married and we want our children to be able to be married only once if  at all possible.  Please  Dr. Phil consider writing some pre- nuptial books to help save marriages before they even start. 

 
April 10, 2006, 2:08 pm CDT

04/13 Engaged Too Soon!

Quote From: tripleh

You know what I don't get? What's the rush on getting married. I mean marriage is a life long commitment and people want to rush to the alter just to get married for the sake of it. What ever happened to taking your time and getting to know your lover before jumping into a wedding dress in a week? seriously..

     What I don't get is why people live together for years on end before getting married, and then end up divorced not to long after they get married.  

     Marriage is a life time and weddings are one day. I think that if you put as much time into your marriage as you do into your wedding you can make it work.  

     I did get married quickly to my husband but I knew he was the one and we have great communication and do not let things get out of control. We know how to fight fair, we keep no secrets from eachother and we remain open minded to eachothers thoughts on the big and small things. 

     What is right for everyone is different and like Dr. Phil said "you can't always make the right decision, but you can make your decision right." 

     When you point your finger at others alway remember that you have 3 fingers pointed right back at you. 

 
April 10, 2006, 2:13 pm CDT

04/13 Engaged Too Soon!

Quote From: needfaith2

   My son will be married in summer of 2006 and I have fears that he and his future bride are not ready and need to do more "homework" before they marry.  We do love my future daughter in law and her little girl as well.  My son is 21 ...his future bride is 25.  She is not divorced.   

  

    Dr. Phil has done many books and workbooks on saving your relationship,losing weight and various other topics.  I would love to see Dr. Phil publish  a book and workbook on the subject of engagement and try to include as many of the topics that a couple starting out should discuss..such as money, children, finances, work, religion, fighting fairly and anything else to improve improve their communication and increase the chances of a successful, long and happy marriage.  Lists of warning signs, deal breakers anything helpful would be great. 

  

    Both my husband and I were divorced when we married 18 years ago...we are happily married and we want our children to be able to be married only once if  at all possible.  Please  Dr. Phil consider writing some pre- nuptial books to help save marriages before they even start. 

Remeber that you do not have to support your children's decisions but you should support your children. We should be easiest on family and hardest on strangers but it never seems to work that way. Express your thoughts and concerns to your son but don't let it get in the way of your relationship. The last thing you want is to have bad blood between you at your son's wedding.
 
April 10, 2006, 4:02 pm CDT

I married after knowing my husband 3 months

I met my husband October 1st and 3 months later we were married. I cant lie and say that during the two first years of marriage it wasn't awful, we didn't know each other or love each other. We overcame the most difficult part of our marriage, that was the two first years and now (we have been married for 4 years 3 months)  we are very, very happy.  

I cant say that this will happen to everyone that is engaged for several months before getting married, but we have about 3 different couples (close friends of ours) that dated for about 2  to 3 years each and were engaged for 2 years. All of us have been married for about 4 years and all of them that got a chance "to know "each other before they got married can not stop fighting they actually started when we stopped. 

When I first got married it was hard to see how everyone else was SO happy and in love and we weren't but now we are very happy and they are not. 

 
April 10, 2006, 6:33 pm CDT

Maybe I'm Rushing

Just wanted someones input.  My boyfriend and I have been going out for over three year and we own a home.  We argue occasionally, but I don't think its anything major.  I am ready to get married, honestly I just think its ridiculous we have been living together for so long (about 2yrs).  I want to get married, even though sometimes I'm just so tired of waiting that I loose interest.  I think its because I'm upset at the moment.  His excuse for us not being married yet is because of the money and he has also uses our arguments as an excuse.  I see them as something normal.  So I'm wondering when I should put my foot down.  How long is too long?
 
April 11, 2006, 12:35 pm CDT

04/13 Engaged Too Soon!

Quote From: k8yann

     What I don't get is why people live together for years on end before getting married, and then end up divorced not to long after they get married.  

     Marriage is a life time and weddings are one day. I think that if you put as much time into your marriage as you do into your wedding you can make it work.  

     I did get married quickly to my husband but I knew he was the one and we have great communication and do not let things get out of control. We know how to fight fair, we keep no secrets from eachother and we remain open minded to eachothers thoughts on the big and small things. 

     What is right for everyone is different and like Dr. Phil said "you can't always make the right decision, but you can make your decision right." 

     When you point your finger at others alway remember that you have 3 fingers pointed right back at you. 

I totally agree. My husband and I were married after dating for only like three or four months. We are in our early twenties (I just turned 21 in January and he will be 21 in July) but we knew that we were right for each other. For me there was no doubt in my mind I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. God lead us together and I know that no matter what happens I will always have him and he will always have me. You have to make a marriage work. My parents divorced after 20 years of marriage and they had dated for over eight months.  

  

Never judge a man till you've walked a mile in his shoes. 

 
April 11, 2006, 2:38 pm CDT

04/13 Engaged Too Soon!

My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years, and we have seen each other every day almost. We plan on buying a house together sometime within the year but he doesn't seem to want to commit to just be engaged. I myself would rather be engaged for a few years then get married right away, but he won't even have that....
 
April 11, 2006, 2:51 pm CDT

Don't let others decide for you!

My husband and I have been happily married for almost 2 years.  We started dating in March, 04; engaged in April, 04; married in May, 04.  We did know each other before that but never considered a relationship.  Our kids thought we moved too soon but we could not be happier and don't ever see that changing.  I say if you are in love and you feel it's right, go for it!
 
April 11, 2006, 7:06 pm CDT

Only want to be married once!!!

 Me and my boyfriend have been together off and on for five years. I say that because in high school we were kind of each others boody calls type of thing. Well we have been together for almost 3 years and lived together for 2. We have 2 kids but live with his parents. We have a house that we have bought but not all fixed enough to live in. We have talked about getting married forever it seems but haven't done it. Sometimes he gets on my nerves alot but i think because i stay at home with the boys right now and then go to night school. Then again we live with his parents and two brothers. Which makes a total of 8 people living in a 4 bedroom house. Its crowded. So i stay pretty stressed out. But i haven't had someone that i could trust in my life to talk about my feelings. So i don't talk about how i feel. His mother keeps pushing us to get married but my mother is all ways negative and says stuff about him or us doing things together. (like getting married or living together) I don't know if we should get married or not because i only want to be married once because my parents are devorced and both have been married often. I know how that feels. But then on his side his parents have been married for 20 years. Only on of his aunts have been divorced and everyone else has been married for 20 or more years.  I just want to talk to someone  about how i feel or if anyone else has every been this position.  

  

Thanks, for listening.  

Feel free to e-mail anytime.  TuttiFruttiTuki@yahoo.com 

 
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