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Topic : 07/26 The Dr. Phil Foundation Helping Kids

Number of Replies: 153
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, April 07, 2006, 10:15:10 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/14/06) The McGraw family and The Dr. Phil Foundation share a passion for supporting children in need and those in foster care. Meet some wonderful people who've opened their hearts and their wallets to help underprivileged children across the nation. Elaine is a 35-year-old single mother who has been a foster mom to over 50 kids. Her mission is to give unconditional love and support to every child who shows up on her doorstep, especially the hard-to-place children. She founded TYME ministries, an organization dedicated to meeting the needs of disadvantaged youth. See the amazing surprises Dr. Phil and Robin have for Elaine! Then, Zakiya recently became too old to qualify for foster care, and is desperate for a support network to help her stay on her feet. Plus, an inner-city teen sings the blues because her school's music program doesn't have the resources to help her reach her goals. Dr. Phil introduces her to someone who wants to help her become the shining star she was born to be. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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April 14, 2006, 3:46 pm CDT

Foster care

I just want to say thank you for your publicity for the foster care system.  My husband and I cannot have children and are foster parents.  There is a lot of things that I have learned since becoming a foster parent.  One thing is that the state favors family members,  weather or not that would be the best place for the child.  We are a two parent home that has So much love and structure, but if the state finds a family member that is willing to take the child, the child most likely will go live with them.  I dont understand that. 

 

 We have experienced DHS taking three children from us to place in a home of a single mother of 2 and living with two elderly people.  Only because she was a relalive.  Not to mention that that "relative" didnt step in months before to report the mother for neglect (did she really care).  

The oldest child (4) had major food hording issues, the mid child (20 mo) had failure to thrive and was a zombie, she was also very delayed in her learning because of being left in a room by her self every day for months.  In 3 days of being with us they were doing amaizingly well. 

 

I dont know how the judge could possibly see that a single mother could take care of 5 children and give the two with problems the one on one attention they needed to get better.  I felt that DHS failed those children and they were slipping though the cracks right before my eyes and there was nothing I could do.  

 

I believe that it must first start with the judges of the courts making the standards very high and needing official evidence that these children arent just going to survive but to thrive and grow to there best potential.  I pray for those children every night that the Lord will keep them safe. 

 

If we could only change the world? 

 

 Thank you for your efforts, Dr Phil and Robin, God bless you

 
April 14, 2006, 4:15 pm CDT

God is with you!!!!

My hat goes off to you and Robin, Dr Phil your foundation is doing such wonderful, wonderful work.  This country has focused on so many other things we have forgotten about our own children.

 

Elaine you are a wonderful woman and may God bless you and keep enabling you to do the wonderful work you do.

 

As far as the Treehouse foundation God bless you.  I have all my life had a dream to do the very thing you are doing, but for families in abusive relationships.  I have never known though how to even proceed and where to go to get help.  We have so much open space around this country starting villages for people or children in need of help should not be a burden.,  If u have any input as to where I can start that would be greatly appreciated.

 

God bless you all you are really and truly doing Gods work.

 
April 14, 2006, 4:33 pm CDT

An Opinion of the

  Its all great and well what Dr Phil and his family and others are trying to do and hey my hats off to them all. Problem is most only will tell part of the truth or dont know what the real truth is.

 We do live in a society that has been broken and corrupt, we live in a society that claims our children must be protected and our children are our future but yet what our society really does is hurt these children and care more about money then anything. When there is a price tag on a child then this is a very sad world we live in.

 Now I am not saying everybody is like this as I know some people (very few) have a good heart and do try to do the right thing. Before making a judgement on my statements and post please read the entire post.

 For a few facts that most people dont know because Social Services hides these facts from the public.

 Fact: There is over 1 Million children in fostercare
 Fact: There are over 8,000 false reports made daily
 Fact: Social Services national budget is in excess of $285 BILLION
 Fact: 80% of children in foster care dont even belong there

 These are just a few facts that are the truth and not some made up numbers. Now lets get down to the real truth of what really goes on in our system.

 Social services is under no obligation to prove anything to the courts and what they say to the courts becomes the truth. No Evidence and No Facts need to be given to the courts by social services. Social Services can get an ex-parte based only on a statement from the social worker, it dont matter if they can prove what they say or not. Social Services can say and do as they please in a court of law also, they can descriminate, they can extend court, they can withold information, they can even break court orders and still social services will still win in court.

 How do I know these facts ? Because I am a victim of this corrupt government that has "stole" my children for nothing more then a false report. Now before you say I was probably a bad parent, read the truth and facts below...

 My landlord (I rent the property only but own my home) reported my wife and I to DSS for failure to pay rent and said we was being evicted.  My landlord made 4 reports as a matter of fact, and in every report his story was changed and did not match the story he told before ( Yes I do have the real reports directly from DSS).  Not once did DSS question this and not once did DSS check with the magistrate or the police department to see if what my landlord reported was true or not. Yes DSS did not investige at all, they just took the false report and ran with it to the judge.

 Now at this same time I already had a judgement against DSS for trying this same thing in 1999 and yes DSS lost in court and was ordered not to return to our home. DSS just ignored this court order and came to our home anyways and claimed we was being evicted and we had no home for our children.

 When I explained to DSS it was a false report they said I was lying and asked me where I was going to move to. I told DSS again it was a lie and I handed them another copy of a court order that was against them and asked them to leave my property. DSS still harrassed my family for several weeks until they went to the courts and got an ex-parte order for removal based on the statement that we was being evicted ( yes I do have the actual affidavit dss submitted to the courts).

 Our children was removed from our home and then DSS really did do what they wanted. This was in 2003 and no matter what we did DSS still was always right and the judge still always ruled in DSS's favor. No matter how many laws DSS broke or how many rights they violated DSS was still always right. I can prove with FACTS and DOCUMENTS that DSS did infact break the law, violated our rights, descriminated against my wife, and did not follow proper procedures under the laws of South Carolina.

 Does any of this matter ?? No .. Our rights was terminated in 2005 for nothing more then bogus reasons and eventhough we still live in the same home till this day, one reason for termination was that we could not provide shelter.. Yes DSS did not need to prove anything to the courts, all they had to do was say it..

 Now ofcourse there is alot more to this story and yes I can prove every single claim I make with documented facts. My wife and I both supported, loved, and cared for our children but yet we still loose our children due to a corrupt system that is allowed to do as they please. We do not drink, we do not do drugs, we do not abuse children, so anybody that has this idea in their head is dead wrong.

 Since our children was stolen and forced to live apart they have been hospitalized, attacked, abused, and sick due to foster parents that cant take care of children properly and due to the fact DSS does not care what happens to your children.

 I challenge Dr. Phil, Opera, or any other person in the media to reveal the "TRUTH" of what really happens to our nations children and families. I will personally supply every peice of my case file ( which I do have from dss) to Dr. Phil or anybody else that wishes to review it. In these documents there are treatment plans submitted to the courts that my wife "will admit she cant take care of her children due to her condition" ( my wife is disabled).. The judge accpeted this eventhough DSS cant prove the statement and DSS under law cant force you to make a statement agsinst your will. There is such a thing as the 5th amendment which does state DSS (or anybody else) can not dictate to you.

 So I will say it again I challenge Dr. Phil to reveal the truth of what really happens. I dare anyone in the media to reveal the truth for that matter, I wonder does anyone really have the gutts to show the real truth ??

 Just helping children wont cure the problem, the more children you help or the more that they get adopted the more DSS will take. The fact is it all boils down to money for DSS.. They have job security because they make sure to take more and more children..

 Come on do you people honestly think that millions of parents abuse their chidlren ??

 So Dr. Phil you want to help, let me see you take on the truth and reveal it, let me see you help us honest parents get our children home where they will be taken care of and loved.. Are you willing Dr. Phil ??

 James 


 
April 14, 2006, 4:42 pm CDT

Loved your show

This is a new venue for me but I was moved to respond to your program on helping kids and giving in general. I truly think many of the troubled participants on your show at times would be helped by getting out of themselves and giving to others. Since my husband's death in 1999 I chose to get involved in missions work at church and that has led me to Guatemala twice. In November I went to St. Petersburg, Russia with a mission trip for Buckner Orphan Care International. We visited 12 orphanages supported by Buckner and came back so enthusiastic about what they're doing all over the world, as well as here in Dallas. Through them I've learned a lot about Foster Care programs and Adoption programs also. Currently, some friends and I are putting together a benefit in Dallas to hopefully fund more Grandmothers in St. Petersburg, Russia. The more we do the more we want to do. And it is contageous! Thank you for showing the giving side of some wonderful people.
 
April 14, 2006, 4:48 pm CDT

Care Enough

Can you see this picture?   What do you think, would you take him in Foster care?  Could you love him?

 

Well, I did, and I do!  Connor was just 3 when this was taken, but he didn't look like this when he came into fostercare with me, at the age of 3 months!

 

When I first saw him he was in a full body cast. Someone had thrown him up against a wall, HE WAS 3 MONTHS OLD!  He had 14 BROKEN BONES, a brain stem injury, water on the brain, couldn't suck right and couldn't regulate his body temperature, couldn't walk until almost 2 years, never able to speak but a few words.

 

I knew from the minute I saw him he was MY son.  His never ending spirit for life was amazing, he never stopped moving forward, never stopped trying to overcome everything that was done to him!

 

I adopted Connor when I was 54, I never looked back, he was MY son, my baby, my only son! I have 3 grown bio daughters and 1 adopted daughter (age 7)

 

The only thing that would stop Connor life force was cancer. Connor passed away last May (2005) he was 4 years old. A  very rare cancer growing in his brain took this beautiful child. He was given 3 mo to live, my warrior prince fought and stayed 13 months. He died almost 4 years to the day he entered my life. This gift from God came by way of Fostercare, would I do it again, I have, 3 new children have come into my life since Connor's passing.

 

4 years of love were, are, worth the pain and grief I have now, I am 59, a widow, and I will never stop being a fosterparent. "Love Never Dies" you just pass it along!

 

 
April 14, 2006, 5:15 pm CDT

excited to see the caring

Quote From: ann4dan

What an appropriate show for Good Friday.  I don't know the spiritual affiliation of Dr. Phil and Robin, but the help given to all on the show was wonderful and touching.  The concept of the village for children is a concept a fellow nurse and myself discussed 2 yrs ago.  While we didn't know how to accomplish it, I guess our hopes and prayers were answered.  Children, older people and animals go together to make a wonderful complete family.  In some way I could like to be part of this organization.  By the way the other nurse and myself have been part of Child Protective Services where children were placed in Government Foster Care.  GOVERNMENT FOSTER CARE

IS FAILING AT BEST.  Keep up the good work Dr. Phil.

 

Nurse Ann

 Being a foster child many years ago,i know all to well how children with handicaps have a very hard time to get placed.  In my days,the 1960's,they hid my hanicap just to get me placed.  It wasn't pleasant when the foster parents found out,no need to bore you with the details.  Bottom line, it excites me to see people willingly except the handicap in their homes.  I have very slight Cebreal palsy but was told everyday that god sent me as a punishment to my parents and i will never be anything and i should thank god if anyone will take care of me.  Up date,i'm 54, married 32 years 1 birth,1 adoped.  I made it but not without the scares of not being worthy,but hey,i love life and care for everyone.  Please don't make a handicap feel they must be apreaciative for the care they receive,beleave me they do all on their own.  keep it up dr. phil and robin

love
debbi
 
April 14, 2006, 5:21 pm CDT

Unfortunatley You Are Right James

Quote From: jamesstein

  Its all great and well what Dr Phil and his family and others are trying to do and hey my hats off to them all. Problem is most only will tell part of the truth or dont know what the real truth is.

 We do live in a society that has been broken and corrupt, we live in a society that claims our children must be protected and our children are our future but yet what our society really does is hurt these children and care more about money then anything. When there is a price tag on a child then this is a very sad world we live in.

 Now I am not saying everybody is like this as I know some people (very few) have a good heart and do try to do the right thing. Before making a judgement on my statements and post please read the entire post.

 For a few facts that most people dont know because Social Services hides these facts from the public.

 Fact: There is over 1 Million children in fostercare
 Fact: There are over 8,000 false reports made daily
 Fact: Social Services national budget is in excess of $285 BILLION
 Fact: 80% of children in foster care dont even belong there

 These are just a few facts that are the truth and not some made up numbers. Now lets get down to the real truth of what really goes on in our system.

 Social services is under no obligation to prove anything to the courts and what they say to the courts becomes the truth. No Evidence and No Facts need to be given to the courts by social services. Social Services can get an ex-parte based only on a statement from the social worker, it dont matter if they can prove what they say or not. Social Services can say and do as they please in a court of law also, they can descriminate, they can extend court, they can withold information, they can even break court orders and still social services will still win in court.

 How do I know these facts ? Because I am a victim of this corrupt government that has "stole" my children for nothing more then a false report. Now before you say I was probably a bad parent, read the truth and facts below...

 My landlord (I rent the property only but own my home) reported my wife and I to DSS for failure to pay rent and said we was being evicted.  My landlord made 4 reports as a matter of fact, and in every report his story was changed and did not match the story he told before ( Yes I do have the real reports directly from DSS).  Not once did DSS question this and not once did DSS check with the magistrate or the police department to see if what my landlord reported was true or not. Yes DSS did not investige at all, they just took the false report and ran with it to the judge.

 Now at this same time I already had a judgement against DSS for trying this same thing in 1999 and yes DSS lost in court and was ordered not to return to our home. DSS just ignored this court order and came to our home anyways and claimed we was being evicted and we had no home for our children.

 When I explained to DSS it was a false report they said I was lying and asked me where I was going to move to. I told DSS again it was a lie and I handed them another copy of a court order that was against them and asked them to leave my property. DSS still harrassed my family for several weeks until they went to the courts and got an ex-parte order for removal based on the statement that we was being evicted ( yes I do have the actual affidavit dss submitted to the courts).

 Our children was removed from our home and then DSS really did do what they wanted. This was in 2003 and no matter what we did DSS still was always right and the judge still always ruled in DSS's favor. No matter how many laws DSS broke or how many rights they violated DSS was still always right. I can prove with FACTS and DOCUMENTS that DSS did infact break the law, violated our rights, descriminated against my wife, and did not follow proper procedures under the laws of South Carolina.

 Does any of this matter ?? No .. Our rights was terminated in 2005 for nothing more then bogus reasons and eventhough we still live in the same home till this day, one reason for termination was that we could not provide shelter.. Yes DSS did not need to prove anything to the courts, all they had to do was say it..

 Now ofcourse there is alot more to this story and yes I can prove every single claim I make with documented facts. My wife and I both supported, loved, and cared for our children but yet we still loose our children due to a corrupt system that is allowed to do as they please. We do not drink, we do not do drugs, we do not abuse children, so anybody that has this idea in their head is dead wrong.

 Since our children was stolen and forced to live apart they have been hospitalized, attacked, abused, and sick due to foster parents that cant take care of children properly and due to the fact DSS does not care what happens to your children.

 I challenge Dr. Phil, Opera, or any other person in the media to reveal the "TRUTH" of what really happens to our nations children and families. I will personally supply every peice of my case file ( which I do have from dss) to Dr. Phil or anybody else that wishes to review it. In these documents there are treatment plans submitted to the courts that my wife "will admit she cant take care of her children due to her condition" ( my wife is disabled).. The judge accpeted this eventhough DSS cant prove the statement and DSS under law cant force you to make a statement agsinst your will. There is such a thing as the 5th amendment which does state DSS (or anybody else) can not dictate to you.

 So I will say it again I challenge Dr. Phil to reveal the truth of what really happens. I dare anyone in the media to reveal the truth for that matter, I wonder does anyone really have the gutts to show the real truth ??

 Just helping children wont cure the problem, the more children you help or the more that they get adopted the more DSS will take. The fact is it all boils down to money for DSS.. They have job security because they make sure to take more and more children..

 Come on do you people honestly think that millions of parents abuse their chidlren ??

 So Dr. Phil you want to help, let me see you take on the truth and reveal it, let me see you help us honest parents get our children home where they will be taken care of and loved.. Are you willing Dr. Phil ??

 James 


James,

Unfortunatley you speak the truth about the dark side of government intrusion into the lives of honest people who love their familes but have fallen on hard times. This has been going on for a long time in the United States. My Native American ancestors children were pulled from their homes with Mother and Father intact , taken to boarding schools-- stripped of their language-heritage-hair-clothing and life in the name of government intrusion in something that they created for their own political gain. In small town American government , you have people who have to account for their "job" as a social worker-etc. and they do that by playing on your hardship and removing your children into their custody. There is a place for foster care and there is a place for a "natural" family to get a hand up and not have their own offspring taken from them in the name of politics......wonder how many attorneys hands will have to be greased before you get your kids back? There is still too much bigotry- social racism and unfairness in this world today--- even in a "free society"....... Creators Blessing, Singing eagle

 
April 14, 2006, 5:40 pm CDT

Music & children

Thank you for promoting music for children. As a retired music teacher I am very much aware of how music helps children is so many ways not recognized by our society. In addition to the discipline, the joy, and fun, music also helps children learn other subjects when it is taught correctly. Unfortunately, in some cases, music teachers don't bother to teach the skills necessary for the children to become successful.
 
April 14, 2006, 5:50 pm CDT

Zakiya sounds like an amazing young woman

I wonder if Zakiya realizes that she has accomplished more in her life than many people three times her age.

 

My advice to Zakiya is that you need to find the place in your heart where you forgive your mother's shortcomings and grieve the mother you needed. Then you can love her for who she is now. I think the hardest and most painful thing kids go through is realizing their parents lack the character they so desperately need as a role model. It appears that Zakiya has been her own role model and you should continue to do that.

 

How you get there is up to you, just know that you have graced us all with your presence and that you have touched the hearts of millions of people just by being you

 

 
April 14, 2006, 8:23 pm CDT

All the Best, Zakiya!

What a surprise to watch the show today and see someone that I thought I recognized!

 

Unless I miss my guess, Zakiya presented a few years ago at one or more of the foster/adoptive parent conferences I coordinated. I am all but positive that I recognized her, and if she's the young woman I remember, she and some other "youth" spoke regarding "surviving" the foster care system. I remember her warmly. As I recall, she was as well-spoken then as she is today.

 

I am actively involved in supporting foster and adoptive parents through developing training conferences. I believe that we have some of the world's finest "volunteers" - people who give their lives to improving the lives of other people's kids through fostering and adopting. (One of my close friends just adopted two sons, ages 15 & 17, I believe.) I do everything I can think of to honor foster parents as we design and deliver our conferences. Highlighting youth in care - giving youth a voice as the Dr. Phil Show did today - is something I highly value.

 

I'm sure every state struggles with outcomes for youth who "age out" of the foster care system. We're fortunate that our state has some transitional programs to benefit youth in care. (Another reason Zakiya's story sounds familiar to me.)  At 49 years of age, I am still happily reliant on my parents, as my kids still rely on me. Many of you speak of a desire to become foster parents, but hit roadblocks for one reason or another. Please consider what else you can do: perhaps you could serve as a mentor for a youth in care; maybe you could send a care package to a youth in college, or a youth in the military... maybe invite our young people over to share a holiday. Please call your local child welfare agency and inquire about ways you can help youth who are currently in or are transitioning out of foster care!

 
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