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Topic : Single Parenting

Number of Replies: 470
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 12:46:38 pm
Author : dataimport
A family doesn't always include a mom and a dad. If you are raising children alone, get support from people who understand here.

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August 13, 2007, 4:27 pm CDT

My daughter is so angry

I dont even know where to start! My daughter is 11. She is angry. She treats her younger siblings like crap. She destroyed one of my mothers spare bedrooms during her fits of anger. She has tried to get in my face, recently, and I had fear that she might try to put her hands on me. She has been seeing a therapist for the past 2 years. I recent ly had her tested for special ed because even though she is going into the 6th grade her educational level, reading, comprehension, etc. is on a 1st/2nd grade level. I recently moved to a new school district, I'm hoping they can help me more than the last.. I'd been fighting with the last school district since 2nd grade that something wasnt right with her when it came to learning. I dont know if she is dyslexic or what....

 

I'm waiting for a referal to get a psych evaluation to determine what is wrong with her.. .I have 3 other children in my house. She is making us all miserable. I had to k eep her out of school at the end of last year because she had threatened to beat up a couple of girls. I didnt want her entering a new school with a bad mark on her record. Her therapist has told me that if we dont get this under control then she will end up in a mental facility. I dont want this to happen, and I surely dont want to end up in court because she has beaten up some  other child or myself. Does anyone have any suggestions?

 
August 18, 2007, 1:08 pm CDT

re: dating practices

Hello there,

 

I'm a single mom of a 3 1/2 beautiful girl. I've been separated for 3 years and raising my daughter on my own. I am currently in a serious relationship with a divorced man, who has 2 teenage daughters from his previous marriage. The kids live with their mother. This man, I'll call him Jack, and I have been dating on and off for about 2 years. Last November, after not talking to each other for 3 month after a fight, we resumed our relationship, and made a committment to each other to try to make this work . Well, not it's August. We have been having so many arguments over the last 2 months that I think we need help now. Either that or quit. I'm not ready to give up yet and I don't think he is either. Our last disagreement last night is still not resolved. I would like to hear some opinions from people that have been in my shoes ie. thinking of having another chance in a second marriage and blending families.

 

I see myself being married to this man in the future. Our relationship has progressed to the point where over the last few months, he has been staying overnight at my place, where my daughter and I reside. It's only a one bedroom , so if anything, we would have to buy or rent a different place for the three of us. Well, lately, I have been thinking about whether I am the best example for my growing daughter and I started reading some parenting books. I am questioning whether it's a good idea for her to grow up and remember that mommy's b/f  was sleeping with mommy before marriage. So, I raised this subject last night. Perhaps I went about it the wrong way. I'm not sure. I explained to Jack that I have been doing some readings, and that I would like my daughter to have good family morals and make good choices about sexual relationships when she is older. I told him that for that reason it would be better if Jack stayed over night only when she is with her father overnight, ie. we are alone. Am I wrong here? He took it as a step backward in our relationship, that I'm not sure about him, and that there is nothing wrong with what we are doing since we are adults. My daughter will do whatever she wants, regardless. That's his opinion. Further to this discussion, he mentioned that a logical step for him is to live together next,  and then consider marriage, if everything goes well. I disagreed. I don't think I want to live with any man prior to "I do". I used to think that at one point, but I changed my mind. Besides, again, here is my daughter. ...live with a b/f prior to real committment? It doesn't sound right. I'm 34 now. He is 43. I would like to have a second child, after marriage, but by the sounds of it, he wants to try playing mom and dad first, without the "I do" part. A part of me feels cheated.

So, that's that.

 

Any input.

 

Thank you.

 

E.G.

 
August 21, 2007, 12:14 pm CDT

Baby Daddy Drama

I'm a 20 year old single mother. I have a 3 year old son. His father and I lived together for the first 4-5 months of our son's life. Obviously things didn't work out. To him buying marajuana was more important than groceries. Luckily I was on WIC and we both applied for welfare to get us through the 4-5 months. (skipping ahead) I came to my senses left him and continued welfare for just myself. The welfare office had his information and went after him for childsupport. Through out the past year and a half I've let him have visitation everyother weekend. Majority of the time he would forget which weekend was his and then call me on my weekends with our son and fight me on visitation. Then I started to realize I was giving him his "cake" and letting him eat it too. So I put my foot down and told him he needs to pay childsupport before he can have visitation privelidges back. Now he's arguing with me about the visitation, (saying he wants to see his son more than every other weekend) and refuses to pay childsupport. His little brother has a myspace and has messaged me a couple of times calling me bad names, and his friend has messaged me telling me how "evil hearted" I am for not letting our son see his dad. I'm tired of this but I refuse to cave to his stubborness against responsibility.  On top of all this, I've been making it a point that our son not know how frustrated with his father; but our son has distanced himself from his dad anyway, I received a notification from childsupport saying his wages were garnished for $167 in the beginning or June 2007. As soon as I read that paper I headed out the door to his house. Our son was very distant with his dad. He didn't want to hug him, and pretty much didn't want anything to do with him.  A little help?
 
August 21, 2007, 1:08 pm CDT

Help me with my daughter

Well, today has been a month since my 21 year old daughter left home. After seven years of lies  and manipulation I give her a choice. She either live by the rules or do it some where else. She choose the latter. I paid for her university education but she would attend one of four classes. She make sure I have no access to info. nor  her performance. Since she left we had no contact , I know she is with friends.  Today she message me on MSN about getting back in school. I did not respond cause she had done this before to get my attention.  Please advise me how to deal with this situation. She knows how much I want her to continue her education.      
 
August 21, 2007, 1:29 pm CDT

Single Parenting

Quote From: eve_grace

Hello there,

 

I'm a single mom of a 3 1/2 beautiful girl. I've been separated for 3 years and raising my daughter on my own. I am currently in a serious relationship with a divorced man, who has 2 teenage daughters from his previous marriage. The kids live with their mother. This man, I'll call him Jack, and I have been dating on and off for about 2 years. Last November, after not talking to each other for 3 month after a fight, we resumed our relationship, and made a committment to each other to try to make this work . Well, not it's August. We have been having so many arguments over the last 2 months that I think we need help now. Either that or quit. I'm not ready to give up yet and I don't think he is either. Our last disagreement last night is still not resolved. I would like to hear some opinions from people that have been in my shoes ie. thinking of having another chance in a second marriage and blending families.

 

I see myself being married to this man in the future. Our relationship has progressed to the point where over the last few months, he has been staying overnight at my place, where my daughter and I reside. It's only a one bedroom , so if anything, we would have to buy or rent a different place for the three of us. Well, lately, I have been thinking about whether I am the best example for my growing daughter and I started reading some parenting books. I am questioning whether it's a good idea for her to grow up and remember that mommy's b/f  was sleeping with mommy before marriage. So, I raised this subject last night. Perhaps I went about it the wrong way. I'm not sure. I explained to Jack that I have been doing some readings, and that I would like my daughter to have good family morals and make good choices about sexual relationships when she is older. I told him that for that reason it would be better if Jack stayed over night only when she is with her father overnight, ie. we are alone. Am I wrong here? He took it as a step backward in our relationship, that I'm not sure about him, and that there is nothing wrong with what we are doing since we are adults. My daughter will do whatever she wants, regardless. That's his opinion. Further to this discussion, he mentioned that a logical step for him is to live together next,  and then consider marriage, if everything goes well. I disagreed. I don't think I want to live with any man prior to "I do". I used to think that at one point, but I changed my mind. Besides, again, here is my daughter. ...live with a b/f prior to real committment? It doesn't sound right. I'm 34 now. He is 43. I would like to have a second child, after marriage, but by the sounds of it, he wants to try playing mom and dad first, without the "I do" part. A part of me feels cheated.

So, that's that.

 

Any input.

 

Thank you.

 

E.G.

There seem to be a lack of compatibility in this relationship. At this point I would not worry about your daughter future taught. I will be more concern about doing what is right and get to know this man more. He should respect your choices and you should try to understand him. This is the time to sort it all out then get married.  Your daughter will  accept and respect  both of you if you sort your differences before marriage.  Good luck

 
August 21, 2007, 4:56 pm CDT

Child support issues

Anyone out there having problems getting the child support owed them?
 
August 22, 2007, 5:44 pm CDT

Single Parenting

Quote From: gobber1107

Anyone out there having problems getting the child support owed them?

I have a daughter who is 5 and I have never seen a dime....He will work until he gets a check and then quit. Im not sure if the law is different anywhere else but your employer has 30 days to file with EDD thats when their social will come up in the system and tehy can garnish wages. I think my ex has finally caught on to this.

 
August 24, 2007, 11:14 am CDT

Single Parenting

Quote From: gobber1107

Anyone out there having problems getting the child support owed them?
Yea, my son's father works for his family owned business and they were running it under the table now that they've been caught and have to be insured and all that "fun stuff" and he's telling me he's not getting alot of work. He's in debt to the state for over $4,000. His dad went through the same thing with him, and didn't pay anything at all, he can't own anything in his name, the only thing his dad does have is a old chevy truck that was put into a trust fund for him.
 
August 31, 2007, 8:05 pm CDT

Single Parenting

Yea, my ex, beat the courts to the punch...He knew from a friend about garnishes and got himself fired then went unemployed for 4 months before getting welfare.  Now the courts have given him no support amount to pay.  It's reevaluated every 6 months but only if I take the day off school and work and pay for a babysitter to file a new application, not even mentioning the actual court appearances.

Its amazing the effort these deadbeats put into not paying for their own flesh and blood, selfish jerks.

 
September 3, 2007, 12:57 am CDT

Her dad doesn't want her anymore

My 9 yr olds father does not want a relationship with her anymore since he remarried. He and his new wife did swear her to keeping 'bad' secrets for them regarding new wifes drug use in their home and for a couple of months she kept the secret and she felt so relieved when she finally told me everything after I had a reason to question her. Her father had even sat back and watched his new wife slap our daughter in the face and did not say or do anything. New wife had even shot finger at our 9 yr old child in hallway outside of courtroom this past March 2007 ! Judge court ordered childs father and new wife to family counseling with child and I but they refuse to go. I could personally care less if those 2 were dead as I have a really deep hate for each of them for ALL they've put my child through--(being a true parent: )

but, how do I make sure my child really knows none of this was her fault ?

I do talk with her about it from time to time because I know she does love her dad but she also knows he doesn't want anything else to do with her anymore and I don't want her to feel guilty for "telling the secrets".
As it stands now, by court order, her dad is not allowed any contact with her until counseling is completed and CPS has sent a letter acknowledging abuse/neglect...but I'm worried about her self confidence. 
 
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