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January 14, 2006, 10:14 pm PST

Single Parenting

Quote From: pepper34

Does anyone have any advice for me. My brother is a single father raising an 8 year old boy and a 5 year old girl. Their mother has been in and out of jail for the past 5 years due to alcohol abuse. They have not seen their mother in the past 2 years but she does write when she is sober. The kids are always told she is away getting help. I think the older son is smart enough to know there is something else going on. Would it be better for him to know that his mother is in jail because she has a problem or should he continue to think that his mother is away getting help??

If that is the only thing they ever heard, I think that it is best that it is left that way until the mother herself can explain what is going on. No you don't want to lie to them about it, but they don't know any difference. My 8 yr old daughter knew her father very well and also knew he was in and out of jail so now, when my 6 yr old daughter ask about him, my oldest just says he probably is in jail again. I never told her anything she saw it first hand.

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cpcjlm

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January 15, 2006, 7:25 am PST

Utter Defiance

I am a single mom, I have went to school for the past 4 years and will graduate with my Bachelor's degree in August. I work during the hours my children are in school to allow family time and time to get their homework done. I hace a 7 year old daughter and a 5 year old boy. My son is becoming a little issue. He is doing well at school and the teacher thinks he is great. Last year he came home from pre-school with notes every day and got sent to principal's office a couple of times last year but was well behaved at home. It has reversed this year, from the time we get home, he screams and it is his way or no way. He screams he hates me, he hates his sister and kicks the walls and whatever is near him. My two children are fighting constantly and he usually leavers my daughters face all scratched up. I have tried taking things away, I have sent him to his room, tried spanking and NOTHING works. This has become a routine, that he is not interested in changing. I know this sounds crazy but I have tried to talk to my 5 year old about what we can do to make better choices for him I have stressed that I will help him. I started watching everything he eats to see if it was something he is eating also. ANY SUGGESTIONS WOULD BE APPRECIATED.

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dlynn1201

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January 15, 2006, 1:37 pm PST

hang in there

Quote From: mmakow

Hi ow is everyone i am doing ok here today the kids are home it is cold outside today the gooodnews today is my breaks on the van are good the bads news is money job day to day problems i just dont know what to do about everything any more it seems every step i take forward it takes mr back 5 last nite i was thinking about ending it all but toady i reliz that my kids need me my girl friend needs me and she cant handle ne feeling in the dump or she gets to depressed i need to find a place to live have not paid a house payment in 4 months so i am going to lose my home i feel like a failer love to hear form people any ideas thanks mike

I can certainly understand your dilema. I encourage you to hang in there. Jesus loves you and he is there for you. You must KNOW that if God brings you to it he will bring you through it. Money is superficial and yes it makes the world go around, but understand that the things that are much more important in our lives and the very things that you say keeps you here are the things that money can not buy. Houses are a dime in a dozen. If you lose it, you WILL get another. You children which are not a dime in a dozen but rather a one of a kind need you not just physically but emotionally. I plead with you to hold them and your girlfriend with love and compassion and thank God that you have them in your life to give you reason. Then pray for him to work in your life to see you as a reason too.

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drphiliz

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January 15, 2006, 4:51 pm PST

not paying court ordered child suppoort

I am 35 yrs yrs olds my sons dad is 47 Our son is 7. I was on and off with my sons dad since I was 22. When our son was less then a yr I moved out with our son. We had a very bad history. He had been in and out of prision prior to our meeting. He was on crack and a heavy drinker. He went to prision and when he got out we ended up back together. He didnt drink or even smoke cigs yet we still did not have a healthy realationship. I was very insucure. After having our son I knew this was no way to rasie our child so I moved. SInce he started back drinking got DUi lost his job and went back to prision.(at one time he did pay support) Along with having prostrate cancer. He is now out after being away almost 1 yr. Has been out since fathers day 2005. He lives with a women and does not work .Now claims his back hurts too much to work. He sees our son at my house and this is hard for me. I have to have a man over my house that doesnt help pay to support our son. Our son loves his dad so I cant stop his visits because when I did he missed his dad. What do I do to make this easier on me?????????

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jasmamaus

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January 15, 2006, 6:15 pm PST

Single Parenting

Quote From: ghotii1

i am asking for help/guidance for my friend who is quite concerned about his ex-wife and his children. it has been brought to his attention that the mother of his children is using and selling narcotics out of the house/garage. he wants to turn her in but is worried that his children will be put with social services if they find out about this. she has a live in nanny who is with the children most of the time except for weekends. we are fully aware that any teacher or healthcare provider can and will turn her in to the authorities if they suspect anything...no proof necessary.

he knows if he confronts her, she will deny it all. she is bipolar, which also causes her to be irrational. she has gone to rehab when they were married and he is afraid that she has taken a turn for the worse again. supposedly she has lost her job in the banking industry. she has no friends that she respects and her parents are equally screwed up as well.

we are seeking information for the safety of his children. he has 49% joint custody according to his divorce decree. he doesn't know how to get her help and get custody of his kids at the same time.

any suggestions??

if he does report her, most chil services will choose to place children with family instead of foster care. if he wants custody anyway, that would be his best bet

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jasmamaus

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January 15, 2006, 6:23 pm PST

Single Parenting

Quote From: cpcjlm

I am a single mom, I have went to school for the past 4 years and will graduate with my Bachelor's degree in August. I work during the hours my children are in school to allow family time and time to get their homework done. I hace a 7 year old daughter and a 5 year old boy. My son is becoming a little issue. He is doing well at school and the teacher thinks he is great. Last year he came home from pre-school with notes every day and got sent to principal's office a couple of times last year but was well behaved at home. It has reversed this year, from the time we get home, he screams and it is his way or no way. He screams he hates me, he hates his sister and kicks the walls and whatever is near him. My two children are fighting constantly and he usually leavers my daughters face all scratched up. I have tried taking things away, I have sent him to his room, tried spanking and NOTHING works. This has become a routine, that he is not interested in changing. I know this sounds crazy but I have tried to talk to my 5 year old about what we can do to make better choices for him I have stressed that I will help him. I started watching everything he eats to see if it was something he is eating also. ANY SUGGESTIONS WOULD BE APPRECIATED.

it sounds like mabey he just has a need to blow off steam. try getting him involved in some physical extracurricular activity. the YMCA usually has financial "scholorship" programs if money is tight. also, until the behavior improves, try taking away ALL the things he likes, and let him know how he can earn them back. dr. phil talks about a behavioral contract. i don't think he is too young for something like that.

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jasmamaus

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January 15, 2006, 6:42 pm PST

Single Parenting

Quote From: mommof3

I have a 15 month old toddler that will NOT stop biting, He is teething a little but i believe it has become a habit with him. I have had tons of advise from friends and parents, One says Bite him back, another says Flick him on his mouth ,another says put him down and walk away, another says react, another says dont react. I am very confused as to what will work with him. I dont want to use phyisical means to end this problem however, i am at my wits end, he is about to start preschool in January and im worried that he will be rejected for biting his classmates. Please help me find something that will work.

my oldest niece was a biter. my sister (her mom) never really disciplined her for it, and she still managed to grow out of it. it is very frustrating, but most likely a stage. i studied to be a child care provider, and it is a very problem. the teachers at the new preschool have experienced it before.

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dfranke

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January 15, 2006, 9:09 pm PST

Answer

Quote From: jasmamaus

if he does report her, most chil services will choose to place children with family instead of foster care. if he wants custody anyway, that would be his best bet

First do as I did, go to the court house law library, ask the clerk for papers to get custody, then go and fill them out , bring proof to court and you will get custody and she will get help, My ex-wife is a felon, and so is her new husband, he molested his own daughter and his niece.

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dfranke

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January 15, 2006, 9:14 pm PST

hopefully some help !

Quote From: drphiliz

I am 35 yrs yrs olds my sons dad is 47 Our son is 7. I was on and off with my sons dad since I was 22. When our son was less then a yr I moved out with our son. We had a very bad history. He had been in and out of prision prior to our meeting. He was on crack and a heavy drinker. He went to prision and when he got out we ended up back together. He didnt drink or even smoke cigs yet we still did not have a healthy realationship. I was very insucure. After having our son I knew this was no way to rasie our child so I moved. SInce he started back drinking got DUi lost his job and went back to prision.(at one time he did pay support) Along with having prostrate cancer. He is now out after being away almost 1 yr. Has been out since fathers day 2005. He lives with a women and does not work .Now claims his back hurts too much to work. He sees our son at my house and this is hard for me. I have to have a man over my house that doesnt help pay to support our son. Our son loves his dad so I cant stop his visits because when I did he missed his dad. What do I do to make this easier on me?????????

Go to Deptpartment of Revenue, ask for papers to force him to find work, or file for workers comp, or other ins.. then ask for food stamps, they will force him off his butt or face jail/prison again.

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dfranke

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January 15, 2006, 9:27 pm PST

I live the same way

Quote From: aries22

thank you for your words of encouragement. I have no friends only my mom and my kids in my life. I am ashamed that I feel this way. I have this horrible feeling like I am all alone now. I have not been able to understand how he could love me and ask this of me.

I live the same way, but its a little diffrent here, I the dad have custody, and my ex -wife left us for another man who is a "reg. SEX-OFFENDER, they live in brooksville florida, we live in Port Richey, she calls every other week, visits when she wants to which is like once a month. My daughter knows that I will never give her up for no-one and we are a packaged deal if we ever found a another person for me {her DAD }. I fought for Fathers Rights and won with out an attorney, and I love her and I love being in her life full time, I just wish DADs would be to but they aren't. David

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Topic : Single Parenting

Single Parenting

Utter Defiance

hang in there

not paying court ordered child suppoort

Single Parenting

Single Parenting

Single Parenting

Answer

hopefully some help !

I live the same way